Brittney says:
Wed, 15th Jul 200911:08 am 

i agree..i loved the book but it seems a little to the extreme. and suited for the perfect world with perfect guys…both of which i have yet to find..

Caroline says:
Wed, 15th Jul 200911:42 am 

I. LOVE. THIS. BOOK.

Changed my life…but yes. It makes you shake your head at every little boo boo a guy will make. I think the reason why college girls have a hard time with it is because the book talks about SERIOUS relationships. The kind you should have before getting married. Not the kind of fun, silly relationships in college.

So while us college girls are thinking about finding the absolute perfect man, the college boys are looking for some one-night fun. Poo.

alyssachristine says:
Wed, 15th Jul 200911:51 am 

ugh just the beginning of this article scared me to death.

i had a guy act clearly "not into me" on and off for a year, my freshman year of college to make it even worse and more confusing—he "forgot" about me for a month when we went home for winter break, he took 8 months of daily sleepovers to finally ask me out, and, the "clincher", he had a few weeks where he rotated which girl he would go out/ come home with…and for some reason I put up with it.

I pushed other guys away.

I let myself get hurt over and over ( more than even imaginable, when he broke up with me over the summer because it was no longer "convenient" for him…I cried for three months straight, and didn't sleep on the off chance that I would get a drunk call from him.)

Why does this scare me?

…he's now my boyfriend of nine months.

He says he was trying to convince himself not to like me, that his previous relationship made him hate all relationships, that he was immature and he's changed a lot.

And I want to believe it. Really, I try.

It's just that every single little thing he does wrong screams "he changed his mind!" "He doesn't want you anymore"

"he was NEVER into you"

I really really hope its not that black-and-white of an issue.

Like, a guy doesn't have to be either into you or not into you, forever and ever, happily ever after.

It could just involve a whole lot of circumstances, or changes, or decisions…and that the girl might just be thinking way too far into it ( kinda what the book suggests, or goes against, at the same time.)

I'm not sure if I'm in support of or against the idea- but now I'm freaking out.

Any thoughts?

Sam says:
Wed, 15th Jul 20092:55 pm 

Aw, alyssachristine, don't freak out. Some guys do change – and it all depends on how he's treating you now, if things are better now that you two are together; then by all means ignore the book and focus on real life! But if you're having some doubts (which it obviously sounds like you are) then maybe you should pay more attention to it. Women's intuition is pretty powerful.

I definitely don't think it's a black and white issue though. In the perfect world it would be, but there is so much going on in real life than it is anything but perfect.

I think I just talked in a long circle though and didn't help.. but I feel for you and when I read your reply I wanted to give you a non creepy internet hug. I've been seeing my guy since February and I haven't met his parents.. but there's a lot going on in that situation and it is not the time for me to meet them and I kind of don't want to anyways.. but if I took that instance my boyfriend would not be into me, which I know is false. Just focus on your gut feeling! Life is too short, if he doesn't make you happy and feel secure- move on, someone else will.

Chin up love!

Kay says:
Wed, 15th Jul 20093:02 pm 

alyssachristine, i totally agree with most of what Sam said…

I think its worth it to remember how you felt when all the crappy stuff was happening, and try to get back to what your original impressions of the situation were… they're usually pretty accurate. All that stuff can get confusing, I know! Good luck!

Guy says:
Wed, 15th Jul 20094:07 pm 

So I haven't read this particular book but I thought I'd throw my two cents in as a guy.

Dealing in extremes is always a bad thing, because almost nothing is on either end of an extreme. With that said, girls should actively try to distinguish between bad behavior and tentative behavior.

For instance, this notion about calling. Well, girls are told that if guys don't call right away then they're not interested. Guys are told that if they call too quickly they're desperate.

Not taking you home to meet parents is very different than not going out with you so he can go out with another girl.

Honestly, the thing girls need to realize is that they need to get out of their own way. Girls like guys who are cocky and funny, have a lot going on, don't need them to be around, etc., etc. (and I'm not saying treat them like garbage). BUT, then they want action ASAP. It is an incredible contradiction.

Ashley says:
Wed, 15th Jul 20094:09 pm 

I like to believe a man should put in just as much effort as I do in a relationship. After all, if I can think to try something romantic now and then why can't he? So in this instance I think the book is right. If you call a boy and he never calls back then he just aint worth it. Any man that wont make an effort when you clearly are aint worth it.

Alana- Boston Univer says:
Thu, 16th Jul 20093:02 am 

I refused to see the movie…I knew it would make me paranoid!

Melanie - Northeaste says:
Thu, 16th Jul 200911:47 am 

I. Hate. This. Book.

kiki says:
Sun, 19th Jul 20092:27 pm 

I agree with the article. You see, as if all the romantic movies were'nt enough to make us idealize relationships, here comes a book that make us set the standards even higher.

The perfect guy does not exist, and it's a mistake to just sit a around and wait for him. I too, believe that I was a victim of romanticism.

Grey does exist, and it's worthless to try to analize a guy by general advice, because what one guy has the other one lacks, cause none of them have it all!

I think we should try to use our personal experience and common sense and see things as they are rather than supporting our decisions on advice from a book that was not written based on our particular situation.

It's books like these that can make you paranoid and expect to much when really, you probably had it all, all along.

And i feel this happened to me, I se the bar to high as you said.

JohnE says:
Mon, 20th Jul 200912:02 pm 

Here is the thing many colege aged women like guys that treat them poorly. It is the twisted logic of any guy desperate enough to be nice to me isn't good enough for me. I've seen it way too many times.

Mel says:
Tue, 21st Jul 200912:57 am 

So… I’ve never read the book. But if the book takes after the movie, didn’t it all come kind of full circle? To show that it wasn’t all black and white? Because in some cases, yes, the guy wasn’t into the girl, but in the case of what’s-her-face and Justin Long’s character, he was just as screwed up as she was–he thought he wasn’t into her and he really was into her and all this other crap.

I don’t know.

I got that it was showing that any sort of relationship was about compromise: the couple where the woman wanted to get married and the guy didn’t.

There was also the one where it showed that–come on, seriously?–when someone isn’t into you, they’re not. Example being the couple where the man was cheating on his wife (and she pretty much forced him into that relationship–though I personally think that whole situation is mostly his fault, but that’s just me).

And finally there was the situation where the guy could possibly-be-into-you-but-might-not-know-it-because-he-didn’t-really-know-what-the-hell-he-wanted-in-a-long-term-relationship.

And then there was the guy who liked the girl who was sleeping with the married man and she was just leading him on. I don’t know how it ends in the book, but he ended up finding love in the girl who tried to get relationships through MySpace.

In all honesty, there shouldn’t be anything to worry about just because of a book. It seems that guys are just as messed up as girls when it comes to romance–we’re all only human and mistakes happen. Where we all need to be straight forward and give “yes” or “no” answers, we don’t–sometimes in a weird attempt to be nice, even though it just makes everything worse.

…

Maybe I just don’t understand why people attach themselves to relationships that are only, say, a few weeks or a month/two months long. Mostly because it used take me a while (as in months) to get attached to anyone–even then it still takes quite a bit for me to trust someone thoroughly.

I guess all I’m trying to say is there’s no need to get attached after, like, a month; and no need to get upset about a guy that never called. Life is way too short to worry about something that can’t be completely controlled. Now if romance happens, it happens, but there’s no need to let that be the only thing you wait for and then get upset when it *doesn’t* happen. That’s just a ridiculous thing to worry about.

That’s my two cents.

P.S.- Now I have to read this book just so I can make sure I didn’t throw out my opinion COMPLETELY blind–right now I can only hope that the movie is pretty freaking close to the book.

a girl says:
Tue, 21st Jul 20098:46 pm 

Thank you for this article. It seems to me that many of my female friends use the theories from this book as an excuse to be bitchy and demanding in their relationships with men. I don't know why women have come to believe that men have to do all the work in a relationship. What happened to meeting each other half-way, like reasonable adults?

Broken says:
Fri, 24th Jul 20097:07 am 

I'm glad you realized setting the bar too high or being too bitter are bad things. Honestly it happens to guys too. We get hurt one too many times and suddenly we cannot take a joke anymore or we alienate wonderful women. I'm guilty of this and damn it, it's hard to move past it. I am trying though.

Sammie says:
Fri, 24th Jul 20096:07 pm 

its a book. we are raised to not believe everything we read for a reason. if this book tried to make things more fluffy, then it wouldnt sell. its not saying that every time a guy asks this way or that, then hes just using you. like in the movie, there are exceptions to every rule.

Nikki says:
Sun, 26th Jul 200911:23 am 

Well… contrary to most of what's being said; I loved this book. The movie was a waste of time.. but the book was funny! I think people took this book way too seriously and aren't enjoying it for what it is! a funny book! For me, it helped bring in a little humour to the otherwise painful sting of being rejected. Afterall, that's pretty much what 'he's just not that into you' is trying to say.

I found this book liberating and inspiring in a way for us all to remember that we're allowed to have standards and that It's great to laugh things off sooner than later….

I found alot of this book to be true and helpful in my 20's dating life.. and it helped me to recognize a true worthy man when he came into my life.

Nikki says:
Sun, 26th Jul 200911:25 am 

and btw… It also helped me to realize that if you're going to have standards for men and how they are to behave in your 'relationship'… we ought to have them for ourselves! Guys like being treated special just as much as we do…. I think us girls tend to forget that!

Stangelina says:
Mon, 27th Jul 200912:10 am 

Oh my GAW!!!! The movie to this was so damn dumb because it freakin had Jennifer Aniston in it. You know, the dumb bitch who let Brad Pitt get away and is almost 50 and still hasn't found a husband. Why the hell was she cast in the movie???? She is freakin old and washed up.

Mike in the gray says:
Tue, 28th Jul 20095:08 am 

I seriously dislike this book. If women need to read a book to tell them how to feel, there's something wrong. What ever happened to loveing someone unconditionally anyway? I always thought that was love.This book sets conditions no man can seriusly suffice. Every guy is going to mess up. This book makes it seem like theres a perfect perfect man.I understand there's no such thing as a perfect woman. Call me silly but this book makes women feel worthy of themselves by having them push away everyman that wrongs them.

Nick P says:
Thu, 6th Aug 20093:01 pm 

I haven’t read the book, but I’ve been googling to get quotes & excerpts and get the jist. I also just saw the movie last night.

I’m a 36 y/o happily married man. I found this discussion by above googling, I haven’t been cruising for college chicks.

I’ve been discussing with my wife the common mistakes women make and I’ve wanted to help them out, because they really give men too much power. I wrote a really crappy blog that I will eventually edit to a decent level on dating/relationships – http://therealdealondating.blogspot.com/ It’s a super-rough, unedited, and very blunt. It’s not spectacular but they are our [the wife and I] ideas. I wrote it all as she is too frustrated telling women the truth and watching them ignore her advice. Our blog was written before I saw the movie or read one iota about the book. So, if the points are similar it is because men think alike, not a conspiracy.

Anyhoo, what spawned this is the movie. I saw the movie and it had the right messages until Gigi flipped out after the bar manager’s house party. Then it proceeded to undermine nearly every true point about male behavior/thinking and reinforce every wrong thing women believe. It was a travesty. The movie ends up encouraging women to remain romantic idealists to their own detriment.

That’s when I became curious about the book. Is the book as stupid as the movie? Is the book guiding women towards self-destructive dating behavior just like the movie?

From what I can read online, not really. It looks like someone [probably a woman or maybe a man who profits by women's bad habits] ruined the lessons of the book in the movie.

From my second hand limited reading the book look essentially correct and makes my blog somewhat duplicative.

The book seems not to take into account shy guys like me who have trouble making the first move. But after you go out the other points seem generally correct. I’m sure I diverge on other issues as well, but by and large it seems correct.

I’ll be hitting the library to actually read the book soon. I may end up deleting my blog and just tell women to read this book if its good enough. I’ll see. If I remember I’ll come back here and update you folks.

Good luck.

Stacy E says:
Thu, 6th Aug 20095:41 pm 

My mom sent me the book after a failed long-term relationship in my late 20s. I have such mixed feelings about it now. In some instances it has helped avoid wasting time on men that I realized were not that into me, much sooner than I would've known it before reading the book. In other ways, I feel as though the advice I took to heart has held me back and prevented me from even making the slightest first move, ever. At times I have felt robbed of my own assertiveness and confidence. Worst of all, this book dis-empowers women, which leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Overall, I'd say its worth reading, but not worth swallowing hook, line, and sinker. Certainly NOT worth ruining your life!

Married 14 years says:
Wed, 19th Aug 20091:56 pm 

Ladies,

I've been happily married for 14 years. I'm sorry to tell you, but this book is crap. I asked my husband out for the first time (he had thought about it but was sure I would say no) and after we went out on our first date, he did not call me for a MONTH. He is well educated and good looking, but he has never been that confident with women…some guys are just terrified of rejection. This book would terrify any woman about making the first move. Don't buy it – I'm married today because I DID make the first move.

Recently, a friend of mine married her boyfriend of SIX years. We all told her to dump him many times, but she insisted she loved him and refused. Lo and behold, when he was ready, he asked her. If she'd read this book, she'd still be single!

Krissie says:
Thu, 20th Aug 20099:58 am 

So, this guy I know, he na dI have been friends for a few months. I talked him through a bad breakup and he in turn talked me through one. We have always flirted relentlessly back and forth via text email and phone. Well, this past week something happened and I don't know what to make of it… hopefully someone here can help…

He came to my house for dinner – and was acting completely nervous. Which kind of took me by surprise. When we sat down to eat, he never did look up at me when we were talking or anything. WE chill on the couch to watch tv and he asks if we can go lie down and watch it… Sure – he leaves the room to let me get dressed in my jammies and he in his – very respectful, I thought. We cuddle up, and he starts telling me – in whispers – how amazing I am – beautiful smart – and he kisses me. Then proceeds to "please" me… After that, he's holding me and kissing my face – forehead, chin, lips all of it… Then asks "Since this is the first date, can we wait?" Well, in my head – I thought he was being respectful. Now, this book has made me not so sure. His texts are less aggressive and more flirty and refers to me as "babe" a lot… And we were going to get together on Friday, but he now tells me he has the contractors trying to finish his bed/bath remodel sooner than expected. He told me he wasn't spooked but needs space and to stay on top of the contractors. WTH? Help… I don't know what to think now.

Miranda says:
Sat, 3rd Oct 20091:19 pm 

My problem with this book was that it raised the following question… What if you've been dating guys for 10 years and none of them have ever acted as if they're into you?

The facts says:
Sat, 7th Nov 20092:50 pm 

hey that book is true to the point.. you ladies have no idea how unattractive interest can be. If you throw yourself at someone who is (in your head, the perfect guy) you will often get rejected for it.. Most guys like the game love is (its a methaphore dont take it litterally) and by giving him many compliments a.s.o you are ruining it for him. Ehm, this is My perspective so dont be pissed if it contradicts your own

sarah says:
Mon, 23rd Nov 20095:18 pm 

really? Is it really too much to ask that a guy admit he's dating you and NOT sleep with other girls, etc.. most of the things this book is talking about are pretty basic if you ask me. I've definitely dated guys who meet the criteria in ALL of these areas.. after that, you move to the nitty gritty stuff. These are not picky standards.

Amira says:
Sat, 5th Dec 20091:36 pm 

What you girls don t seem to get is this : if we -females- let the guys be such crap on us, they will be. Yes, it s hard to find the right man. It s not easy to keep going until it happens. Still, if guys realise that it isnt so easy to trick and fool girls anymore, they will change and this is the only way they will ever change. Unless we learn to set the bar high, guys will not try to jump over it. For this reason, I love the book and I go for it.No woman should give up just because the fight is tough. In fact, we are the reason for all those shit guys out there not to make an effort to be better with us…cause we put up with them. well…not me…

Happy go Lucky says:
Wed, 9th Dec 200911:00 pm 

The book is awesome and the film is total crap. I was so upset when I saw it because I realise so many people would watch the movie and not read the book. I do agree with Nikki – don't swallow everything you read. Take what you can to apply to your life and leave the rest as light-hearted banter. The book is fun and has many valid points.

The issue of a guy being to shy to ask you out is debatable and I think it can apply in 'real life' but at the same time – there are also guys that will not stay away if they are interested and then there are those who are interested but stay away in order to keep you interested. Its all helluva confusing!

I don't think its looking for the perfect guy and there are guys out there for all you girls who feel like you'll never find someone. I think we should keep our options open to guys who are interested but also keep our guard up on who we let into our hearts.

Another very interesting read is 'Stop wondering if you'll ever meet him' by Ryan Browning Cassaday and Jessica Cassaday – but again – take it with a pinch of salt.
http://www.stopwonderingbook.com/index.html

Hope it helps some of you

Vanilla says:
Mon, 14th Dec 20096:20 pm 

Who cares, seriously… Ladies, get your education, have a career, stay in good shape (physically and mentally), radiate with confidence, and let men throw themselves at you. And if some d-bag doesn't call you back after the nth date, then the heck with him!! Move onto the next guy. And yes, be selective! Don't just settle for some guy that has smell, or has issues, or has a small penis (but is great with children whatever), or has low self-esteem as he is balding etc.

I've been married to a handsome & successful man for ten years, and men stil throw themselves at me – with no success of course. Take it from me, there is nothing more attractive than a self confidant powerful independent woman that doesn't give a flying F about men – they find her irresistible!

robotulism says:
Thu, 17th Dec 20091:42 pm 

I have read this book over and over (it is in my bathroom, you know how that goes.) I have to admit, it has made me cynical as hell. I am always telling people that ask me for advice to just drop it, or whatever, sometimes it's what they should do. Other times, it ends up working out and I look like and ass.

Really, though, it made me a cynic, because I believed it all. I am such a miranda. Pbbth.

kate says:
Fri, 18th Dec 20091:10 pm 

I completely agree with you. I haven't read the book for these exact reasons. I have skimmed through it however, so I know the gist of it. I felt reading it would make me cynical. You're right, the uncertainty is the fun of it, and if we get hurt in the process well that's part of it too, right?

Nikki says:
Sat, 19th Dec 20099:14 pm 

This book is a peice of crap. I always made the first move with men and sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't but I would hate to be so scared all the time to put myself out there, which is what this book teaches women. My best friend refers to this book like a "bible" and refuses to approach any guy even if they show signs that they like her. When I try to talk to her about it, she calls me the "expectation" because I am married and I did ask my husband out the first time we met and I have had relationships where I have made the first move.

I think all this book is doing is scaring the hell out of single women to the point where they are not willing to do anything to start up a relationship. The truth is some guys are nervous and scared to make the first move but, according to this book, all men are capable of walking right up to a woman that they don't know and asking them out. That just isn't true for all situations.

Nikki says:
Sat, 19th Dec 20099:17 pm 

I meant "exception"

Mollie says:
Fri, 25th Dec 20097:29 am 

I've never actually read the book, but what women should really be asking themselves is "Why should I be into HIM if he doesn't call me after a date or ask me to meet his parents, or only calls me after 2am? Why do I want a guy who makes me feel insecure?"

I'm smart, funny, ambitious and incredibly pretty. I don't care if he's "into me" or not, if he doesn't make me feel special and wanted then he's not worth my time.

fedup says:
Tue, 5th Jan 20106:03 pm 

well I was just told "he's just not that into you" by one of my best girlfriends about a guy that I was in a short relationship with a year ago, yet we still see each other and have "sleepovers". I feel like I should know this…I own the book…loved it, then HATED the movie. I feel like every girl was the exception in the movie…but the book was trying to convince me that I will never be the execption.

I'm at a stand still with him…and sometimes I think that I should take the advice that the book gives. But then I think about our personal situation and I make sense of it.

I am confident and I do know that I deserve someone who doesn't want to wait around to commit to me. But, it's easier said than done.

Maybe I'm just making the "excuses" that the girls in the book make…who knows. I think guys and girls in their 20's are just trying to figure out what they want and who they are going to be in life. …just wishing I knew the outcome of it.

Imogen says:
Sun, 17th Jan 20107:27 am 

I LOVE THIS BOOK. yes it may not always be true to real life, and yes it doesnt always get you a boyfriend, but what i have found is that IT GETS THOSE WASTES-OF-SPACE out of your life.

now my story is that i read this book, thought it was great, i was empowered by this new knowledge and believed i would never fall for another creep again. how wrong i was. yet, today, i picked up this book, talked to a few of my closest friends, and realised that the boy i was ‘sort of dating but not really’ was JUST NOT THAT INTO ME.

heres how it went.

so i met this boy way back in september, he had a girlfriend but would constantly flirt with me, and i would back, hey it was just a bit of fun right? Well in November, he told me that he REALLY liked me. Now, this doesnt happen a lot to me. i dont have boys falling about me, professing their feelings for me as much as i would like. so when he said that to me, you bet i was flattered, but he STILL had a girlfriend so when he asked me to kiss him, i said no. later, he said ‘you’re the only girl to ever turn me down like that’ and I STILL DIDNT SEE HIM FOR THE JERK HE WAS. a few weeks later, we went on a walk, he said he really really liked me, and i fell for those easy words and we kissed. i thought he would break up with her, its the right thing to do.. they were on a break anyway. so i thought by january, he will be single, he can be with me.

its january. hes not single. hes still trying it on with me, and the worst thing is, i let him. but i realise from today, that its got to stop. and here are the reasons why: hes not breaking up with his girlfriend for me, he still hasnt asked for my number, he still hasnt added me on facebook, he never tried to email me, hes kept this situation a secret for his BENEFIT, hes cheating on his girlfriend of 8 months, hes not asking me out, hes NEVER asked me out, hes not calling me and to top it off, sometimes hes not even that nice to me.

you may think why the heck would she put up with such a douche for so long? i would never do that! well thats what i thought. i cant believe it happened to me. im just glad iv finally seen sense, hopefully enough to get him out my life for good. hes just not worth it, and you know what, if he was, he would make the effort to be with me because like Greg says, we are all so totally worth it.

Erica says:
Mon, 18th Jan 20106:28 pm 

I love “He’s Just Not that Into You”. After I read that book, I realized that probably half my relationships would’ve ended sooner & I would’ve saved alot of wasted time if I had just seen that he was just not that into me. And I’ve been alot happier since reading the book and being able to say, “Yeah, we had a great time, but it’s been 4 days and he still hasn’t called, texted, Facebooked, telegrammed, or otherwise contacted me since that night. He’s not that into me. Oh, well–MOVIING ON!”
If it’s not a serious relationship and he doesn’t take you to meet his parents, it’s not a big deal because you have plenty of time for that. But if you’ve been together for several months and he knows you want the relationship to start moving foward (which would include meeting good ol’ mom & dad) and he doesn’t, he’s not into you enough to give you what you need which is the same thing as not being into you at all because who wants to twiddle their thumbs and waste time in an unfulfilling relationship?
If he doesn’t call within 24 hours or maybe even 48, he maybe really busy, but if day 3 is winding down and he still hasn’t bothered to contact you in some way, he’s not into you. If I’m so insignificant in his list of priorities that he can’t pick up a phone, then why should he be significant enough on mine that I should wait around for his call?
If, “Would you like to go back to my place?” is met with, “Nah, I’m kinda tired,” I consider that a pretty bad sign. If the instance is repeated again (assuming he just doesn’t just start avoiding you), he’s completely and totally not into you and you need to realize that and move on.
Some of the “rules” are pretty cut-and-dry, no in-between or lee-way sort of stuff, such as “If he’s not marrying you.” If you don’t want to marry him and he doesn’t want to marry you, that’s not what this is talking about; it’s talking when you want to marry him and he claims to not be the marrying kind. Well, then he’s not YOUR kind, no if, ands, or buts about it.

So, while the book may be a little too harsh and need some work, I agree with most of the things it says because my experience has taught me to.

amanda says:
Sun, 31st Jan 20109:30 pm 

i agree with lauren univ. of mich. I'm 29 and I'm an attractive single home owner with a good job i support myself and i have zero baggage from past relationships. I'm so availiable its silly already. It seems to me that this book is completely poisoning minds of women looking for relationships…please tell my why I'm still single writer's of this book. Why are 3 of my friends still single and just as attractive and independant? I understand that this book is supposed to just give it to you cut and dry unlike the hassle of a man trying to 'break it to you easy' by not calling, but Laurens right its too black and white…did you ever think that maybe just maybe a lot of guys are just intimidated by women like me and my friends. This book and books like this one imply that single women are doing all the wrong things what about the guy? They're supposed to be the simple being which does explain the point of this book but what about the guy that didnt call you the next day because he was too nervous he'd made a fool of himself the night before. Or the guy that didn't introduce you to his parents because his parents are a little excentric and he's not ready yet. Or what about the guy that wants to be with you for the rest of his life but doesn't see any reason to be married. There are women out there just like that too. I feel like these books are just excusing what men won't say the worst part is no woman wants to hear he just doesn't like you. We immediately resort to the age old question: "What's wrong with me?" What if a woman is doing all the right things and is gorgeous and self-sufficiant, then what? I don't think he's just not into me I think he's too intimidated by her. Women have been reading too many of these books and now they're paranoid. How about a book that says, "He's not that into, unless you're a great catch and then it's his problem" or "Stop reading he's not that into you and just ask him"

weecat says:
Fri, 19th Feb 20102:14 pm 

ok, could do with some of this advice! met a guy in a club who i recognised from the bar i work in , i remebered him as most men who come into this bar are 40+. so we got chatting he sweet talked me into giving him my number and when i left him constantly text asking if i liked him or if i had noticed him in the bar blah blah blah, asked what my favorite food was told me he would take me out for dinner blah blah blah…..then i saw him the next night stayed at his flat (told him i wouldnt sleep with him and stuck to it) went home the next morning said he would text, so he texts at half 8 that night "your v.quiet?!" i was rather confused as he was to text me! few more texts then 9pm next night same text "your v.quiet" so everyday he sends these texts but still doesnt ask me out for dinner or any mention of when i will see him, then bumps into him when i'm collecting my wages, asks when i'm working tells him end of convo! doesnt text on valentines day after a week of texting me everyday, so text him the next night "your very quiet" reply "been busy and stuff" so starts getting a bit annoyed doesnt text me back for 2 days then because i dont repl to his 2 texts that night, he texts the next morning "have i said something wrong?!" i reply no just been busy!?" busy doing what?" " you would know if you asked to see me again" "been a busy boy thats all" well fair enough why dont we leave it for now you can text when your not so busy" "dont be grumpy" "lol i'm not just saying" "well what do you want to do?" "would be nice to see you agian but your busy" then he shows up at my work!(he knew i was working) and waits for me till the end, drop him home after a wee drive have a laugh share a kiss and then he asks when i'll see him again tell him to let me know when he is free………text him tonight asking what his plans were…….text back late on that night saying phone froze just got texts ………wtf i can not understand this guy, thinking he might have a gf……help! oh he's 28 journalist for top scottish newspaper, i'm 20 student nurse am i just a shag?

katiemc says:
Sat, 13th Mar 20105:36 am 

Weecat,

Yes,you are

Suzanna says:
Fri, 16th Apr 20103:43 am 

This book may be useful for any woman who fancies more than, say, one man a year i.e. in order for it to work there would have to be a reasonable pool of men that you find remotely attractive/tolerable. Personally I have only really fancied about ten men in my life. If I had waited for all of these whole ten men to behave like this book said, I would have had no love life! Sadly, I think the book is probably correct. However this leaves me with clear-cut options: 1) go out with men I don't find remotely attractive just because they like me (yuk!); 2) stay single forever (increasingly likely); 3) enjoy the men I fancy but fully expect them to leave because 'they weren't that into me in the first place' (possible). You takes your choices. But what riles me about this book, true or not, is that 'Greg' either believes that there are great swathes of attractive men out there or that women's desires are irrelevant to the equation. The whole idea frankly puts me off for life.

Clare says:
Wed, 21st Apr 201010:35 pm 

Personally, I wish they would write a book called "Girls, Trust your Instincts" because I think, deep down, we all know whether a guy is into us or not, at least after being around him for a little while. I think we actually know which are the guys who "just aren't that into us" and which guys really like us, we just don't always want to admit it to ourselves. I think if we listen to our instincts they will tell us which guys to walk away from and which guys require a little gentle encouragement or another chance. That's not to say that its always easy to follow your instincts because, you know, sometimes you like a guy who isn't into you and you're hoping that he is, even though you know deep down that he isn't. And sometimes you don't like a guy who is into you. I just personally think that we women probably know more about the way other people feel about us than we give ourselves credit for. And yes defnitely, life is not black and white. People have issues that make things not so clear at times. I try to follow the rule that, if you aren't sure, rather wait or take it slow until you are.

Clare says:
Wed, 21st Apr 20109:59 pm 

Oh yes, and I agree with Mollie – what women should be asking themselves is "Am I into him?" "Do I actually like him? Is he right for me?" We are just as empowered in relationships as men are and shouldn't settle for guys who aren't right for us just because we are afraid of being lonely. I have wasted time on guys who were not into me and pined away for them, only to realise later "hey I actually didn't even like him that much, I just wanted the ego boost of knowing that he wanted me."

Mandy says:
Sat, 15th May 20104:49 pm 

Ive read the book, it does have some good advice..but it is extreme, Im glad I read this blog because I was so ready to just forget about this guy Ive been talking too, he wanted to hang with a friend tonight and has not texted me much today so I was so ready to think he is not into me,but I think im going overboard..reading the book right now would probably make me crazy! I just have to play it cool and let him hang out with his best friend..we are taking it slow which is good but also sucks not knowing what is going to happen..

talkingbookshop says:
Wed, 2nd Jun 20108:27 pm 

I totally did the SAME thing with the book. Like: "Aha! *slaps forehead How have I been so obtuse?"

But then I had a relationship which did not fit any of the He's Just Not That Into You criteria even though on the surface it may have seemed to. Example: He kept saying he just wasn't ready to be serious, but he still kept seeing me in a manner I considered borderline serious. It lasted nine months. He finally broke it off, saying he still didn't feel ready.

Conclusion? He liked me a whole heck of a lot, he just wasn't in love.

It happens.

So does that mean he wasn't that 'into' me? No. At least I don't think so. Not when, even after we broke up, he still calls and tries sincerely to be my friend. Not when he hasn't started seeing anyone else yet and says he isn't looking. Not when he gets a little tipsy and says he misses me.

Yeah, its tough. I really like him. But can I measure this man by this book? Or any book on dating? Yeah, like you said. I don't feel that relationships are that easy – or that black and white.

As for this guy? I'll wait and see. You never know how things might turn out. Maybe I'll get over it and meet someone a little more ready to be in a relationship.

Or maybe he'll come round.

Or he won't and I will cry and go out and buy a kitten and some books about knitting.

But that's dating. Messy, isn't it? At least we are all in it together. :>

Alana says:
Sun, 5th Sep 201011:02 am 

The book is called "he's just not THAT into you", not "he's not into you at all". I think people are taking this book far too seriously but it is a good place to start. It shows women that they are allowed to set FIRM boundries.

If you dated a guy who liked you but wasn't in love with you…what does that say? He's just not THAT into you…in other words, he's into you, but not enough to love you. And why on earth would you want to be with a man who isn't capable of loving you? Duh…you shouldn't want that.

The book is simply an eye opener, take it for what it really is…a guys way of giving us a little background on how many men act or react. I think the book is written to save us a little heartache and lessen the drama.

It's not saying if a guy doesn't call you immediately, he's not into you..it's saying, if a guy doesn't call WITHIN A REASONABLE AMOUNT OF TIME, he isn't into you. My guy friends agree with the book. They say if they like a girl, they make it happen and it's not with a poke on facebook. If there is an attraction, they can't wait to see the girl again. PERIOD.

Think of how us women feel, when we like a guy…we wanna talk to them like yesterday. Well guess what, guys (even though they won't admit it) have those same kind of feelings and show it in the best way they see fit and it's certainly NOT by making you wait by the phone or cancelling a date or only calling you on weekdays…

Catch my drift?

iulia says:
Wed, 15th Sep 201010:17 am 

I'm on the same page as you are. Life also has shades of grey. Man aare not that easy to read, and to be honest I'm not that sure that they are all the same. We are not the only ones that are asking for love and when we don't get it we suffer for months. Men are humans.

And belive it or not men have souls too. They are hurt when someone doesn't call them or when a women doesn't notice them. We are watching movies or reading books and we think that our life is exactly like that. Well it's not, and maybe we should stop reding that manny self-help books and live. Life is complicated. But if it wouldn't be it would be boring. This book makes it to simple.

afb says:
Sun, 10th Oct 201010:36 am 

ladies – if a man is not pursuing you – let it go

if a man is not willing to wait – until you're married – let it go

there, i saved you a lot of time and pain

Guest says:
Mon, 6th Dec 201012:45 pm 

You know, he's really just not that into you. You are wasting your time, trust me. It only feels like a different shade of gray because you are living with it. From an outsider's perspective, this is the same ol' BS the book is talking about. He'll cling to you until he finds the girl that he IS ready to get serious with, and he'll expect you to be happy for him. I know because I have been in this EXACT situation, and it really is black and white. I hope you have already ditched that loser.

mojojojo says:
Wed, 15th Dec 20104:38 pm 

I've never read the book but even BEFORE the book was written, I believed in the premise. I've always thought that if a guy was interested, he'd make his intentions known eventually (preferably soon). It *WAS* always black and white to me until now, and frankly I wish I'm not seeing the shades of gray. To make a long story short, I THOUGHT a guy was interested in me because of the way he acted. Then NOTHING. Sure it's theoretically possible that he's gotten super busy, it IS final exam season and all…but frankly, the logical inner child in me is screaming at me to wake up and smell the non-interest. Guess I completely misread that guy. I don't wanna turn into "one of those girls" who is always making up scenarios of why he hasn't called and so forth. So my advice to my fellow ladies is to judge a guy's intent based on his actions. If he's not initiating, he's not that interested. Frankly i'm trying to take my own advice right now LOL

Ali says:
Thu, 30th Dec 20106:42 pm 

I think there's certain times when this book is relevant and certain times where it isn't. With many of the guys i dated I look back and think … "goddamn everything is black and white I should have totally seen this coming" but sometimes I've been in relationships where the guy really WAS helping his brother move into his new apartment and couldnt text while carrying the heavy boxes. But my major question because one of the main points in the book was that if the guy isn't contacting you he's not thinking about you. That's one of those things that I really have a hard time believing.. partly because I don't want to.. and partly because I think about my boyfriend even though I don't text him every second. Is it possible that they can't call you or text you.. but still be thinking about you? and thats one of those grey areas that you were talking about. So I think in some cases this book comes in handy because its a nice healthy wake up call to the jerks… but for al the non-jerks out there.. maybe what we read isn't so relevant.

DRebecca says:
Sat, 8th Jan 20113:40 am 

Well, I have never lived my life by a book, so anyone who does that is insane. I have for many years of my life been "one of the guys", and they think the way the author described in the book 100%. Haha, except they are way more crass about how they string woman along when talking to their friends. My advice is don't go after men, but don't play too shy (let them know you are interested), but let them come to you. Men like to chase woman…bottom line.

DRebecca says:
Sat, 8th Jan 20113:41 am 

Don't be overtly sexual, and DO NOT have sex with them before you are in an exclusive relationship. I don't care how you feel!!! If you give it up to any guy too soon, he's going to go home and laugh about you with his friends. If you feel that there is any exception to this rule, you will have a lot of heart break in your life and be very alone. Also, like the guys in this book outlined don't waste your time degrating yourself for someone who isn't worth it. I do think that there is some give and take in a relationship but only once it has become a relationship. When love is bloomng MEN MAKE TIME FOR YOU! I have been working in an industry that deals with these issues for years and I am in a 4 year long relationship with a ring on my finger. The book isn't crap and if it ruined your dating life, you should try to figure out what it says about you and what you need to do to change your dating future.

Tommy says:
Sat, 15th Jan 20113:58 pm 

Im I guy and Its all the truth
The fact that is hard to swollow is most girls today have many problems period.
Most woman today have no class.
For the good men out there, hang in and be patient.
The only thing is you have to have to be able to see the real person behind the skin,
very few guys much less people have this ability today.
Its easy to see people for who they are, just open your eyes.
And quit expecting more than you deserve.

brenny says:
Sat, 26th Feb 20119:40 am 

Mojojojo, what has happened with this guy? Was he interested after all?

Angel Cowen says:
Thu, 7th Apr 20115:02 pm 

Someone recommended that I read this book, Instead of buying it I went online to read bits and pieces of it. She told me to read this because I have been fighting with my boyfriend, we have a long distance relationship that is very difficult for both of us. He doesnt like being on the phone and I feel that it is all we have. I didnt buy into that book, because everything that the book said he has done, except it is harder because we live 1300 miles away. The one book that made more sense to me was Why Men Love Bitches. That seemed more like him and I. I am needy and when I get needier I push him, then he pushes me, and it just goes in a big circle… I am sure that this book is for some people but your right not all men can do that.

Jessy Sonnenbrillen says:
Tue, 24th May 20116:55 am 

This is actually a quite cool Book. I got it as a birthday present from my friends and have read it in around a week. Nicely written, big compliment from me

Susie says:
Thu, 9th Jun 20117:11 am 

I am all the things you say and have done all the things you suggest – education, career etc – but have not experienced what you describe. Or rather, men at first throw themselves at me and then the very second I reciprocate, guess what, they behave like the men in the book and suddenly become ambivalent and 'just not that into me'!!! Now, perhaps I suddenly give off some strange vibe when I reciprocate that I don't know about but isn't it equally likely that not all men who throw themselves at one are 'really into you' (i.e. they're just having fun) or that when faced with a genuine prospect of a genuine woman they become ambivalent/not that into you? I'm glad it worked for you but my experience is that being attractive, strong, not bothered etc works for getting admirers – but not an actual boyfriend!

Emily Diana Mahmud says:
Thu, 4th Aug 201112:23 pm 

hhehhehe really love dis book..read it 2 years ago

MsM says:
Wed, 17th Aug 20118:50 pm 

Sorry, I disagree with the 'poke you on FB button'. If a guy likes you he wants to talk to you and exchange with you not press a button on the internet.

Brandi says:
Sun, 4th Sep 201112:16 am 

Wow, beautifully and insightfully written. I agree, I would love to read the book "Girls, Trust Your Instincts." Countless times, I have met a guy and the attraction was electric, like nothing I'd ever experienced before and I'm a discerning dater with many admirers. Well, even though the connection would be fantastic, when thinking about romance or dating, I'd sometimes get that "feeling"…like "Nope, he's not what you're looking for. He's evidence you're on the right track but not who you really want." Yet, I WANTED him to be what I wanted & I liked him so much. And I so badly wanted to be in love, to care for another, to commune with someone who understood me and me them (And yes, I'm a romantic). Yet, ignoring my instincts and pushing forward never netted me much…mostly just heartbreak, apathy, or becoming gun shy. So, girls, LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCTS!!! If it doesn't feel right, don't force yourself to be in love, don't daydream about him night and day and envision how great you'd be together, no matter how compatible you are. Because it's not JUST about the chemistry and compatibility, it's about emotional stability & relationship suitability. If he's not ready & you are, there's no virtue in desiring a relationship. You may see who he truly is and love that person, but when you get that feeling that things are "off", just enjoy & feel grateful that you met someone awesome & leave it at that.

Klio says:
Mon, 5th Sep 20115:43 pm 

so true…

Klio says:
Sat, 10th Sep 201111:52 am 

Ok,but what's the point in this equasion : you don't give a F+ they do give a F = zero.
the other way around (like in the movie) : a girl gives too much of a F + a guy doesn't give a F = still zero
What's the point if all the guys in the world drolled over me and i didn’t give a F about them? I know some women who act like that, but the are still unhappy,still not getting what they wanted. You can satisfy your ego like that, but honestly what else? Or just flirt with people you don't fancy or fall for, or to have one night stands with men who you fancy olny under a huge dose of alcohol…I know some women that are not doing anything when it comes to the matters of love (they are strong,independent and all those similar things) and are close to 30's with no relationship and no sex ever. If you cared for someone, you would certanly act diferrent, no matter if you are a man or a women.What should i do with all the men that were chasing me and i didn't want them? Nothing. That's not a satisfaction for me. It's not the point to be without men,but to know what you want,what you want exactly in a relationship with another person. When you find that out, the whole mistery is solved. You don' have to worry then how will you get it, you just know you will, because that is you and that is your path.

Klio says:
Sat, 10th Sep 201111:59 am 

I love the part when i ˝invest˝ in someone, and he is calculating yes-no, i push him away and then after some time he suddenly comes back! Wuhu, now when I’m acting like a bitch your opinion suddenly chanched…That’s so stupid… But that’s how it is. My point is that is always good to show what you fell and ˝invest˝ in love, in a person you think is the right one for you. May be you will be with him, maybe you won’t, but you will find someone else, or that one will come back. There was this guy who said that we can be just friends…So I forgot about him…Years after that we kissed, but he didn’t call afterwards, another year ahead we were kissing again, still nothing. Today we are together, we have four years behind, we are so happy and in love. We’ve also met each others parents. I asked him if he thought I was desperate when I was ˝hunting˝ him. He told me : well that would make me a loser right? Everybody likes self-confident people. If you didn’t do all those things and showed me that you cared, we wouldn’t be together today. Do you see how lucky you are now? (I’m treated like a princess). And I say, yes but the yourney was so long… Maybe it would be shorter if I read this book… I was deleting his number a couple of times. At the end he did ask me out and when we started dating something was going wrong (the meetings and the calls) and I told him : Look I don’t want to be with someone with whom I must sit by the phone, waiting for the call. He said : I’m not the person to call someone 4 times a day (now he is, about 6 times). I said : I’m not either, but this is too much (too less) and this is not working for me. There are plenty of people out there, we don’t have to be together and waste each other’s time. That was the breakthrough of course. When he realised that I’m not someone to be messed around with. A fear of loosing someone/something is a big driver (when you are officially together, in other situations can be a turn off).
When you just cannot hold something and you just can’t stop dreaming about someone, that’s ok, cause you know it is. If you do those things a little bit too much and start feeling bad, it’s about time to stop and run away from that man. If I think that the person I fancy is someone that I admire, that is kind, a good friend and so on, then is not a problem to let him know that in a SUBTILE way (persuing is wrong and unnatural). And if he doesn’t call me out and shows me that he’s really into me, I won’t say all those nasty things about him, like what a jerk, I’m such a premium, he doesn’t know what he’s missing… Maybe he has something better to do or someone more interesting to hang out with, that’s not my problem. I know what I want and that I will get it in one way or another, I don’t hold anything against anyone. Once I approached a guy in he club by saying : Hey I need to tell you something…and I kissed him.  Of course, I felt that was a natural attitude for me, othervise I wouldn’t done it. He was so into me and became my boyfriend. It’s just about positive, light thinking, and in the back of your mind your rules that you have and will bring out to life if necessary.
This book is good for love beginners, to let them know what is appropriate and unappropriate behavior for a lady. In a perfect world, the boy of your dreams will come to you, say the perfect words in a perfect environment, kiss you and ask you out and you will live happily ever after…Yeah right. Somedays things go easily, sometimes they don’t, but the best thing is when you know you did everything YOU wanted, and like YOU wanted (not anybody else, no matter what that is – sometimes is just nothing), and that you stand behind every choice you made and don’t feel like a looser but a winner. My point is : It’s not about NOT giving a F, but giving a F with a right measure (you’ll know what that is for YOU).
This book is actually to learn what treatment you don’t want, next good step would be to find out more about what you want : Transurfing – Vadim Zeland, Carolyn N. Bushong – The Seven Dumbest Relationship Mistakes Smart People Make. This books helped me to stop doing stupid things in personal life and to be love miserable.
Good luck! Kiss!

Klio says:
Tue, 13th Sep 201110:12 am 

I personaly like to be (TO GET) equal with someone. I don' like when they are over me more then i'm over them or viceversa. I also don't like when someone is CHASING me at the beginning and throwing at me unnatural lines like,oh you're so beautifuuuul and looking at me like they see a Goddess in me… I like when the conversation, the flirt, goes in humerous way,when you have to read beetwen the lines and so on…But! When it comes to the part when things need to go to the next level and move to DATING, sometimes a girl doesn't have a choice but to find out if the princ charming wants to go there or not (when the flirt fase is getting too long…). You can be here direct, so that you can stop the manipulative flirt (the seduction that's not going anywhere) and move on. I just delete his number and that's it.
I don't find it desperate to aproach someone in the club,when we are in the same croud, or something like that… My approach is humor, and it always works. Sometimes you can find a friend like that and sometimes a boyfriend. The problem is if you feel insecure by doing that and feeling like you are inferior to the person you are showing your interest to. Most people are like this – someone shows emotions too much, they think oh this is some desperate person who is chasing for love, willing to do anything about it (˝especially afterwards when we’ll be in a relationship˝), naïve, stupid and so on… Man think like that and you can do nothing about it. Well, looks and aproach can be deceiving. The worst you can do is to behave unnatural, pretending like you are some tough lady, that won’t do any good in the end because the inner truth will come out sooner or later. By this, you can just complicate things and your love situation will become worse. So what if he didn’t saw a mature, interesting and whitty person in me, he can go elsewhere, maybe he’ll WIN OVER some cool chick, but at the end found her boring and brake up. EVERYBODY GETS WHAT THEY WANT AND THAT’S THE TRUTH! It is very important to find out what YOU want, because at that point ˝the wrong guys˝ will be flushed down the toilet…

Klio says:
Tue, 13th Sep 201110:13 am 

I love the part when i ˝invest˝ in someone, and he is calculating yes-no, i push him away and then after some time he suddenly comes back! Wuhu, now when I’m acting like a bitch your opinion suddenly chanched…That’s so stupid… But that’s how it is. My point is that is always good to show what you fell and ˝invest˝ in love, in a person you think is the right one for you. May be you will be with him, maybe you won’t, but you will find someone else, or that one will come back. There was this guy who said that we can be just friends…So I forgot about him…Years after that we kissed, but he didn’t call afterwards, another year ahead we were kissing again, still nothing. Today we are together, we have four years behind, we are so happy and in love. We’ve also met each others parents. I asked him if he thought I was desperate when I was ˝hunting˝ him. He told me : well that would make me a loser right? Everybody likes self-confident people. If you didn’t do all those things and showed me that you cared, we wouldn’t be together today. Do you see how lucky you are now? (I’m treated like a princess). And I say, yes but the yourney was so long… Maybe it would be shorter if I read this book… I was deleting his number a couple of times. At the end he did ask me out and when we started dating something was going wrong (the meetings and the calls) and I told him : Look I don’t want to be with someone with whom I must sit by the phone, waiting for the call. He said : I’m not the person to call someone 4 times a day (now he is, about 6 times ). I said : I’m not either, but this is too much (too less) and this is not working for me. There are plenty of people out there, we don’t have to be together and waste each other’s time. That was the breakthrough of course. When he realised that I’m not someone to be messed around with. A fear of loosing someone/something is a big driver (when you are officially together, in other situations can be a turn off).

Klio says:
Tue, 13th Sep 201110:14 am 

My point is that when you just cannot hold something and you just can’t stop dreaming about someone, that’s ok, cause you know it is. If you do those things a little bit too much and start feeling bad, it’s about time to stop and run away from that man. If I think that the person I fancy is someone that I admire, that is kind, a good friend and so on, then is not a problem to let him know that in a SUBTILE way (persuing is wrong and unnatural). And if he doesn’t call me out and shows me that he’s really into me, I won’t say all those nasty things about him, like what a jerk, I’m such a premium, he doesn’t know what he’s missing… Maybe he has something better to do or someone more interesting to hang out with, that’s not my problem. I know what I want and that I will get it in one way or another, I don’t hold anything against anyone. Once I approached a guy in he club by saying : Hey I need to tell you something…and I kissed him.  Of course, I felt that was a natural attitude for me, othervise I wouldn’t done it. He was so into me and became my boyfriend. It’s just about positive, light thinking, and in the back of your mind your rules that you have and will bring out to life  if necessary.
This book is good for love beginners , to let them know what is appropriate and unappropriate behavior for a lady. In a perfect world, the boy of your dreams will come to you, say the perfect words in a perfect environment, kiss you and ask you out and you will live happily ever after…Yeah right. Somedays things go easily, sometimes they don’t, but the best thing is when you know you did everything YOU wanted, and like YOU wanted (not anybody else, no matter what that is – sometimes is just nothing), and that you stand behind every choice you made and don’t feel like a looser but a winner. My point is : It’s not about NOT giving a F, but giving a F with a right measure (you’ll know what that is for YOU).
This book is actually to learn what treatment you don’t want, next good step would be to find out more about what you want : Transurfing – Vadim Zeland, Carolyn N. Bushong – The Seven Dumbest Relationship Mistakes Smart People Make. This books helped me to stop doing stupid things in personal life and to be love miserable.
Good luck! Kiss!

@techpersona says:
Sun, 9th Oct 20119:58 pm 

This book taught me that none of the men in my life have EVER been into me. I look around and see that most of the married men I know are not that into their wives, either. In fact, I can count on one hand the number of marriages I have ever seen that were truly, equally, just-that-into-each-other marriages.

Fanny says:
Fri, 16th Dec 20119:48 am 

To be Honest I think That this article Misunderstood the REAL MEANING oF the book , I can tell that the world is full of good guys that really want a relationship , is not easy to find them , thats tue, put they really exist , I found one after many years of failed relationships that teach me of my mistakes.

Peasles says:
Wed, 28th Dec 201110:38 am 

I think it's a little funny that you basically admitted the guy wasn't that into you but then go onto say that he was totally into you. Honey, he wasn't into you. He liked you; he didn't love you – what do you think "into you" means?

ruthy says:
Thu, 29th Dec 20119:53 pm 

I’m sorry to disagree but no one or nothing can really ruin your life but yourself, so why blame the book? sure, the book may sound like a man-hater whining bitch but come on, it speaks the truth. too busy to call you? oh yeah sure… if he’s not into you. no one is so busy to call you if he really likes you or atleast think that it’s his job to atleast let you know he’s alive and got himself safe at home.

I agree that girls should enjoy the giddy feeling… but sometimes you also have to accept that there’s this guy that’ll love you and care about you the way you do for him… which means his efforts will OBVIOUSLY MAKE YOU FEEL IT. and you gotta accept if he’s into you, you will never spend 3 days in a row thinking if he is into you. cos if he’s into you, he will not even let that happen.

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Fri, 30th Dec 20119:13 am 

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anon says:
Wed, 21st Mar 201212:38 am 

I personally disagree with you. A guy who isn't calling you is defiantly not into you and it doesn't take reading a book to figure that out. No one is too busy for a phone call. So they're busy? Well a brief phone call would do. However the other things such as he wants to take it slow is a bit sketchy and there may be exceptions. But there is something to take into consideration. Even if you follow the book and totally rule out a guy because of something it says, if the guy just stops pursuing you then I hardly believe that he was very into you in the first place. I really can't see how the book can ruin your life. Think about it you may never meet the right guy and end up 'old and knitting'. It's the cold truth. There is a choice wait for the right guy and risk ending up alone or settle. personally i'd rather be forever alone and knitting than settle for someone. People put such a great strain on being alone when their old as if people old and alone are the saddest things on earth. Seriously if you're tired of ruling out guys because you're tired of waiting for the right one and you think this is ruining your life then stop blaming the book. It's not named 'how not to be alone' or 'how to find mr. right'. Its named 'he's just not that into you'.

@blingatme says:
Fri, 7th Sep 20126:34 pm 

hahahahaha damn. that's too much

Jessy says:
Wed, 26th Sep 201212:41 pm 

I did not like the movie that much, but some things are really true there…

Julia says:
Wed, 26th Sep 201212:51 pm 

I saw it last week again and liked it a lot

Sandy says:
Wed, 26th Sep 201212:56 pm 

I thought it was ok, nothing special for me…

Sarah says:
Wed, 26th Sep 201212:59 pm 

In Coruna this movie was a big hit, still like it a lot..

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