Miss Manners: Dealing With Rude People

A big part of etiquette is knowing how to deal with rude people with dignity and grace.

Let’s face it, you can mind your manners all you want but there’ll always be that jerk that comes along and pushes you off the swing set anyway *cough-Ryan-M-from-first-grade-cough* So here are some quick guidelines of how to deal with the Ryans of this world:

During a confrontation…

1. Ask yourself if it’s really worth it.
If someone’s walking straight at you and expect you to get out of their way, remember that it wouldn’t kill you to move over. Yeah, it’s a pain in the butt and yeah, that person is completely rude, but is it worth ruining your day over?

2. Stay calm under pressure.
As Miss Manners, I really can’t condone rudeness; however, I do understand that everyone has bad days and sometimes people honestly don’t know that they’re being rude. So if you catch an attitude at the get-go, they might see it as you being rude first. Never fight fire with fire. No matter what, speak calmly and rationally and perhaps they’ll realize how ridiculous they sound in comparison.
DO NOT: Act patronizing. If your calmness comes off as patronizing/douche-y, that’ll only set them off again. No one likes to feel stupid and you’ll just push their buttons if they feel like you’re looking down on them.
OR:
Start a shouting match, especially in public. Then both of you are being rude. Plus it’s hard to be rational when you’re screaming/being screamed at.

3. Address the rudeness.
Say something along the lines of, “Excuse me, but it was really rude of you to steal my swing like that.” If they haven’t realized by now that they’ve been rude, now they know. And if they’ve already realized it and just don’t care, this will hopefully shame them into acting dignified. Stick to the facts and explain to them exactly what’s wrong with the situation.
DO NOT: Apologize unless you mean it. We can all tell when an apology is insincere and, trust me, it doesn’t make anyone feel better [especially if it was sarcastic].

4. If all else fails, leave.
Walk away from the situation. It isn’t the “weak” way out as some drunken frat boys may argue; it’s the adult thing to do. Be the bigger person and let it go. Yes, even if you’re right. You aren’t backing down, you’re walking away, which is much more mature.

PS: Violence is not the answer, kids. Make love, not war.

So, have you gotten into any confrontations lately? Did you do the right thing? How did you handle it? Tell me about it!

6 Comments on "Miss Manners: Dealing With Rude People"

  1. Casey says:
    Thu, 16th Jul 200912:51 am 

    I must live in the rude capital of the planet, cause I have to deal with this crap DAILY! It doesn’t help that I work retail. People seem to think that just because they are customers that gives them the right to be the rudest, most ignorant assholes alive. Fuck whoever thought up the phrase “The customer’s always right.” Fuck that shit! The customer’s always WRONG! That’s why they’re the customer and I am getting paid to know what the fuck is going on.

    *deep breath* sorry, long day :(

  2. Becca- Clarion University says:
    Thu, 16th Jul 20099:08 am 

    I totally feel you. I work in food service and it’s like… The food was cooked EXACTLY how you ordered it. please quit making my life difficult…. and then they don’t tip you!? wth

  3. Christina says:
    Thu, 16th Jul 20093:47 pm 

    I walk away. Too much effort to deal with idiots.

  4. criolle johnny says:
    Thu, 16th Jul 20095:26 pm 

    We allow children to behave like children for twelve years. Then we expect them to magically become perfect ladies and gentlemen when they turn eighteen and have a diploma placed into their ignorant hands.

    Did anyone even teach you how to properly answer a phone in school? What other common courtesies are missing in your everyday education?

    Scary.

  5. sauer kraut says:
    Tue, 21st Jul 20091:52 pm 

    Johnny… you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink.

    Rude people are everywhere. Sometimes, the only way to deal with them is to go the SBD route. Just make sure you exit quickly; that way, the rudester gets all the blame.

  6. chronic wanker says:
    Wed, 28th Oct 200910:21 am 

    wow this site is full of straight up rude people http://www.xadultbook.com

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