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Welcome Back, Vagina Wigs!

merkinI’m just gonna say it: vagina wigs are back and thank. gawd.  I mean, I have been literally holding my breath, waiting for the day when I could accessorize my crotch without punching holes in my genitalia and putting rings and such down there (genital piercings = not okay).  Plus, “merkin” is just a fun word to say and if it wasn’t en vogue, then I would just be a creeper, walking down the street and muttering “merkin, merkin” under my breath.  Now I can be socially acceptable! …right?

Aside from the magnificent addition to my everyday vocabulary, there are tons of reasons why I’m  happy vagina wigs are making a come back.  They’re really quite versatile pieces.  I don’t know how we got along without them as an integral part of our wardrobes.  In fact, I can think of hundreds of ways to incorporate the merkin into any and all of my outfits.  Night out with the girls? Sequined merkin.  Day at the park?  Turf merkin (000 matchy matchy).  Interview?  Tweed merkin (perhaps a tad scratchy).

Originally, I was a little iffy about the merkin.  It did start as a cover up for genital sores for prostitutes in the 15th Century, after all.  BUT, now it’s gaining mainstream popularity.  The merkin (or a less gaudy version of the awesome merkins that will soon crowd my underwear drawer) is even used while filming movies to avoid full frontals and lower MPAA ratings.  Hell, Kate Winslet wore one in The Reader to increase her amount of pubic hair (apparently she didn’t have enough pubes to play an aging Nazi…who knew?)!

While I will continue to trim and wax down there, I know that now I have a fashionable option if I feel a bit chilly or need to go all out for a really special occasion.  Wardrobe crisis over!

    Comments

    Comments

    1. Maggie says:

      Lol, nice article.

    2. Lauren - University of Michigan says:

      That…is amazing.

    3. Ashley says:

      So no more waxing?

      haha

    4. […] that Crocs are dying and we have space in our closet for more fabulous accessories?  Well, get a vagina wig, of course!  Those things are incredible.  I’m even considering getting one specially made […]

    5. David says:

      Are you kidding! The only guys I can imagine that MIGHT be attracted to this are the gold chain guys and guys who would tell their friends — this wild chick I was with took off her panties, and OMIGOD!!! You wanna see for yourself? Here's her number.

    6. sauer kraut says:

      I dunno… but do you really attach them thingies to the vagina or to the anterior portion of that entire thingamabarbra?

    7. […] Welcome Back, Vagina Wigs! I’m just gonna say it: vagina wigs are back and thank. gawd.  I mean, I have been literally holding my breath, […] […]

    8. Kathy says:

      Merkins are also used by topless dancers in places where full nudity is prohibited.

    9. Casey says:

      SIN!!!!

      SIN!!!!

      DO YOU WANT JESUS TO SEE THIS WHEN HE COMES BACK PEOPLE!?!?!?!

      OMG…SOMEBODY CALL THE POPE THIS SITE NEEDS SOME HEAVY DUTY PRAYER!

      THE BLASPHEMY!!!!

      DICK CHENEY MAKE IT STOP!!!!

    10. richard says:

      Casey: FFS. Jesus is not coming back, it was never here. If it was, it'd squint down at planet Earth and see a bunch of mindless fuckwits like yourself running around with crosses around your necks, & it'd be saying or thinking "I'm fucked if i'm going back down there while they're still touting fucking crosses."

    11. jack says:

      You can FedEx used merkins to people for them to enjoy

    12. john el says:

      Totally sounds like a girl from state, you’d never hear a uofm girl so publicly promote being a skank of many varieties, lol. Are guys supposed to accessorise their genitals as well? if I’m wearing a tank-top do i wear a merkin that looks like a vest with a hole it in for the head/shaft to go through? A leather one with my leather coat? A tiger skin/print one for tigers games? Good lord…

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