Welcome Back, Vagina Wigs!

July 15, 2009     Posted in Cool Stuff

merkinI’m just gonna say it: vagina wigs are back and thank. gawd.  I mean, I have been literally holding my breath, waiting for the day when I could accessorize my crotch without punching holes in my genitalia and putting rings and such down there (genital piercings = not okay).  Plus, “merkin” is just a fun word to say and if it wasn’t en vogue, then I would just be a creeper, walking down the street and muttering “merkin, merkin” under my breath.  Now I can be socially acceptable! …right?

Aside from the magnificent addition to my everyday vocabulary, there are tons of reasons why I’m  happy vagina wigs are making a come back.  They’re really quite versatile pieces.  I don’t know how we got along without them as an integral part of our wardrobes.  In fact, I can think of hundreds of ways to incorporate the merkin into any and all of my outfits.  Night out with the girls? Sequined merkin.  Day at the park?  Turf merkin (000 matchy matchy).  Interview?  Tweed merkin (perhaps a tad scratchy).

Originally, I was a little iffy about the merkin.  It did start as a cover up for genital sores for prostitutes in the 15th Century, after all.  BUT, now it’s gaining mainstream popularity.  The merkin (or a less gaudy version of the awesome merkins that will soon crowd my underwear drawer) is even used while filming movies to avoid full frontals and lower MPAA ratings.  Hell, Kate Winslet wore one in The Reader to increase her amount of pubic hair (apparently she didn’t have enough pubes to play an aging Nazi…who knew?)!

While I will continue to trim and wax down there, I know that now I have a fashionable option if I feel a bit chilly or need to go all out for a really special occasion.  Wardrobe crisis over!

11 Comments on "Welcome Back, Vagina Wigs!"
  1. Maggie says:
    Wed, 15th Jul 200911:06 am 

    Lol, nice article.

  2. Lauren - University of Michigan says:
    Wed, 15th Jul 200912:28 pm 

    That…is amazing.

  3. Ashley says:
    Wed, 15th Jul 200912:09 pm 

    So no more waxing?

    haha

  4. David says:
    Mon, 20th Jul 20098:03 am 

    Are you kidding! The only guys I can imagine that MIGHT be attracted to this are the gold chain guys and guys who would tell their friends — this wild chick I was with took off her panties, and OMIGOD!!! You wanna see for yourself? Here's her number.

  5. sauer kraut says:
    Tue, 21st Jul 20098:41 am 

    I dunno… but do you really attach them thingies to the vagina or to the anterior portion of that entire thingamabarbra?

  6. Kathy says:
    Wed, 22nd Jul 20097:49 am 

    Merkins are also used by topless dancers in places where full nudity is prohibited.

  7. Casey says:
    Sun, 26th Jul 200911:45 pm 

    SIN!!!!

    SIN!!!!

    DO YOU WANT JESUS TO SEE THIS WHEN HE COMES BACK PEOPLE!?!?!?!

    OMG…SOMEBODY CALL THE POPE THIS SITE NEEDS SOME HEAVY DUTY PRAYER!

    THE BLASPHEMY!!!!

    DICK CHENEY MAKE IT STOP!!!!

  8. richard says:
    Thu, 22nd Oct 200912:23 am 

    Casey: FFS. Jesus is not coming back, it was never here. If it was, it'd squint down at planet Earth and see a bunch of mindless fuckwits like yourself running around with crosses around your necks, & it'd be saying or thinking "I'm fucked if i'm going back down there while they're still touting fucking crosses."

  9. jack says:
    Sun, 15th Nov 20093:41 pm 

    You can FedEx used merkins to people for them to enjoy

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