Death to Crocs, Finally


Finally, a benefit of our failing economy!  It turns out that the crocs franchise may not be around as long as we had feared.  Instead of scrambling to keep up with (inexplicable) demand, they are now facing millions of dollars of debt and a surplus of really ugly shoes.

Why are they having this problem?  Well, they made the little monsters nearly indestructible, so nobody feels the need to buy a second pair.  If only no one felt the need to buy the first pair…

Almost everyone I know agrees that crocs are possibly the ugliest things we as  humans have ever put on our feet.  However, most of my friends own a pair.  When I give them my patented look of revulsion and pity, they shrug and give me the same argument: “They’re comfortable.”

Well…so what??!!!  A lot of unacceptable things are comfortable!  You know what else is comfortable?  Mumus.  I don’t see anyone walking around in a mumu because they are BUTT UGLY.  Just like Crocs.

Another argument commonly thrown around is that they are acceptable for some professions, namely those in the  medical community or those who work in horticulture.  No.  I mean, if you saw your surgeon saunter up to your bedside in purple Crocs (possibly with those little things stuck in the holes, like a doggy or a kitty or a fake diamond), would you have much faith in his skills, or would you remove that IV and get the eff out of there?

It seems, for now, that the croc crisis is over.  All we have to do is figure out a way to destroy the surplus (and, hopefully, every other pair).  Chemical warfare, anyone?



  1. Robero says:

    Kaite man, you speak truf

  2. Arielle says:

    ohhh thank goodness !! i am SO with you on this. Crocs are horrendous and the little charms that hang in the holes are even more so . "they are now facing millions of dollars of debt and a surplus of really ugly shoes" – GENIUS ! haha

  3. Kristina says:

    We need a Crocs vs. Uggs showdown post here…

  4. Vicki says:

    I don't think that it's surgeons that necessarily wear Crocs, probably mostly nurses and aides, since they are on literally their feet all day. Also, most hospitals have guidelines for what types of footwear are acceptable, and it can be hard to find shoes that fit those guidelines and are comfortable enough for all-day wear.

    I'm not necessarily defending Crocs here. I'm just saying that even if they aren't the most adorable footwear in the world, sometimes comfort takes precendent over style.

  5. Nikki says:

    Every time I see a child on an escalator (who's parent/guardian is not holding them in their arms) I cringe and brace myself for a horrific experience once they reach the bottom….it hasn't happened in front of me yet (THANK GOD!) but I'm still terrified that it's going to…

  6. Stevani says:

    A lot of hospitals don't allow crocs anymore… apparently they were falling off when nurses/aides/physicians went to move something heavy and causing injuries. Also, there's holes in them and gross things like vomit and blood can totally seep through :/

  7. Ana says:

    if you are past the age of 10 crocs are NOT okay!

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  10. Mollena says:

    I love Crocs. I have quite a few pair and none of them are like the ones depicted above. Those ignorant of the different styles that Crocs sells can go right ahead and take their aching feet elsewhere: more clearance Crocs for me.

  11. […] however, go with nothing and I’m happy to see they’re dying a quick death.  What will we do, now that Crocs are dying and we have space in our closet for more fabulous […]

  12. Casey says:

    Oh thank god! Mollena, they do have some semi-cute pairs, but even still I can't bring myself to spend the ridiculous amount of money that they ask for pieces of rubber! Seriously these things are basically enclosed flipflops (really really ugly enclosed flip flops!) Why the hell do they cost so much?! And they sell crocs T-shirts and crap too. Thank go they are going to be gone soon!

  13. Melzelaya says:

    Ok, the regular Crocs, the best known models are kinda funny looking,but they really are super-comfortable to wear. And they make dozens of models using the same cushion materials, including:

    closed work shoes- http://www.crocs.com/mens-footwear-work/men-footw

    and even high heels(which i hope torture womens feet less thanregular ones do)- http://www.crocs.com/womens-footwear-heels-and-we

  14. fitinclouds says:

    Look at these flats. Do you think they can knock crocs off?

  15. pedant says:

    Where I live, Crocs are popular in the sense that they are a well-known brand of leisure footwear, a comfortable hybrid between a flip-flop and sandle. Suitable for water activities that don't demand a sport sandle, day-off errands, or to wear around the house. Thank god they haven't started putting assorted spangles on them around here, nor have I heard anyone promote wearing them in select professional environments. There are plenty of comfy sandals and slippers that could be worn under this argument, but are generally inappropriate for various reasons (lack of stability or snug fit, exposed areas of feet, etc.). Such an argument martyrs the specific profession mentioned, as well, when so much of the workforce is on its feet. Waiters and traffic cops in Crocs, anyone? Also, haven't there been functional knock-offs of this shoe almost from day one? I suspect that, and the natural dip in the cycle of any fad, to be the real reasons for the company's demise. They're only "indestructable" like Stride gum "never loses its flavor".

  16. SMH says:

    Why would you praise the fact that a company is soon to go out of business? I understand you hate how the shoes look, I don't think they look good either. But these are humans who will be job-less and I'm sure they have families and mouths to feed. Seriously…you should be ashamed.

  17. Darwin says:

    Why people why. I hope they die! No more crocs!

  18. Shea says:

    Could you imagine a crock/mumu combo… no no no, a high heel crock/mumu combo! Ewwwwwwwwwwww! I hate these ghastly things!

  19. sauer kraut says:

    I love crocs! Comfy, indestructible and hold those joepa gibblets real well.

  20. Vicki says:

    I was almost about to disown my cousin for having a pair of crocs! They are the ugliest shoes or slides or whatever there a suppose to be. Im trying to figure out how are plastic shoes comfortable? Dont your feet sweat? But then again i did have a pair of jellies when i was 10. And i sooo agree with whoever said blood & vomit can get in between the holes. ewwwwwwwwww!!

  21. Crocs 4ever Marcelle says:

    Crocs aren't made of rubber or plastic so no your feet don't sweat. A friend bought a pair for my 3 year old and he won't wear any other shoe's. There a lot more comfortable than they look like they are. You can read more about them at http://www.professionalclogsreview.com/crocs/croc… or http://www.crocs.com

  22. Marcy says:


  23. Paul says:

    Forget ugly, crocs are downright dangerous. Don't take my advice, ask any podiatrist what s/he thinks about crocs.

  24. Stephanie says:

    Wow, i cant believe people are so vain, there SHOES just cuz there not pretty they should go out of business? Who cares! I have one pair that I use for work that are super cute and comfty not to mention they look nothing like the ones pictured and were on sale around $14 =]

  25. the violator says:

    as much as i dislike crocs (quite a bit) there is nothing uglier than flip flops. if there was one piece of footwear to be banned- i would definitely vote for flip flops.

    nothing says lazy slob like a pair of flip flops.

    and those damned things ARE NOT comfortable either. i have tried on a pair before and they are very annoying. here in bloomington indiana at iu, all the girls (or at least 95%) wear these damned things until it gets too cold and then they go for their ugg boots which are also fugly as hell.

    as a guy, it is pretty sad to see the state of womens fashion today. they totally don't care anymore. all they ever wear anymore in the summer is a pair of shorts, a t shirt and flip flops. which might be ok if you are lounging around the pool but otherwise give the slob look a rest ladies (it's long overdue)

  26. Rachel says:

    I know many people who swear that crocs aren't as comfortable as people say they are.

    They definately are not indestructible. I worked as a lifeguard for two years, and I have seen many people walking around in cracked crocs. I've also seen a few people get hurt because of them. One kid was running and it slipped off his foot, cutting up the bottom of his foot. It was not a fun afternoon for him or his mom. Whatever money she saved on the crocs, cost the price of his swim lesson. (the pool i worked at didn't let you in the water if you had a bleeding cut)

    violator- Flip flops are more socially acceptable than crocs. Most people don't cringe at the very sight of a pair of flip flops (unless the person wearing them has some serious feet problem)!

  27. Nancy Grossbart says:

    As the U.S. manufacturer for Crocs, we made several million shoes for them. Although we don't make them for Crocs anymore, I will be sorry to see them go, if they do. We were there in the beginning of their rise and experienced some really fun people have a huge success because they were in the right place at the right time.

  28. rolly says:

    i hate the typial looking crocs to no avail! they are stupid looking! but unfortunately i own a pair, and almost ashaimed to admitt it. im a college kid and due to my major have to work in food and beverage and culinary. in culinary, we have to wear chef whites, including chefs clogs. yet the batali bistros, crocs chef clogs named after Food Network star Mario Batali, are the est on the market and the most cofortable!

  29. Barbara says:

    Crocs are quite possibly the ugliest shoes known to man, but you will pry mine out of my cold, dead fingers (or feet, as the case may be). Working in a hospital, I have tried every sort of expensive athletic and nursing shoes out there, and my feet and back were always killing me halfway through my shift. Then I discovered Crocs, and life has been wonderful every since. I do not care *how* ugly they are…

  30. kate says:

    I always thought crocs were the ugliest things ever.I was always curious just how comfortable they really were but refused to even try a pair on in fear of liking them. I recently went on vacation where i did A LOT of walking, and my feet were getting blistered in my ralph lauren flats. So i swallowed my pride and walked into a crocs store. I tried a few on but couldn't bring myself to buy any. As i walking out of the store i stumbled upon these;


    which in my opinion where even more comfortable than the common crocs. they also aren't that bad looking. i fell in love with them. soley because of how comfortable they were.

  31. rachel says:

    Borrowing a pair of Crocs from a friend on the daily this summer saved my feet from sweating up a pair of hiking boots in a job that required walking through all kinds of terrain, from creeks to gardens to pebbled driveways. I know some lovely people who wear them, too, so I think that sneering at them for being aesthetically unpleasing is sort of a waste of time. If they're functional and affordable, you shouldn't face judgment from your peers for wearing them. (Then again, judgment will always come from one corner or another – it's just a matter of paying attention to it or not. If you're really above things like fashion snobbery, you'll wear your Crocs without even realizing that there are people out there who disdain your choice. And, me? I'll salute you.)

  32. wtf says:

    Now if only Ugg boots would go away too.

  33. Emme says:

    woo, amen! i am so tired of seeing people wandering around totally respectable places (ie: restaurants, pharmacies, airplanes– just last week i saw a stewardess on my flight very nicely dressed in her uniform and updo and tights and… crocs! what the hell???) in these butt ugly shoes.

    they're not even that comfy! the first time i wore a pair (for surfing lessons, of all things) i got blisters because of how sharply the stupid things curve in around you last three toes. im not convinced whoever designed the stupid things has ever actually seen a properly shaped human foot before, so what gives?!?

  34. Kimbra says:

    Ok…so I do own a pair of Crocs. BUT I think your blog is extremely funny and VERY true. They are the ugliest shoes I own but let me say this, I use mine as "dog walking shoes" and I leave them kinda near the door…hidden behind a table. Any shoe that I can leave out and my 10 month old puppy can't destroy are OK by me! :) Although…I would never truely wear them in public.

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