The CC Weekly Weigh In: Wait, That Didn’t Count…

July 17, 2009 Posted in HaHa, Sex

bad kiss

I’ve hooked up with quite a few people in my time on this planet. I won’t share my number here, because that’s nobody’s business but mine and the unfortunate roommates who had to listen as I added more boys to the list, but let’s just say I’ve had my fair share of romps.

My “number,” however, only reflects about 75% of them.

Why? Well, because there are some that just shouldn’t count. Like the guy who couldn’t keep it up, or the one who left while I was sleeping and I wouldn’t recognize again if he was lying in my bed completely naked. Or the one who referred to my lady parts as “Taco Bell” (as in, “Yo quiero your Taco Bell”) and was immediately asked to leave.

Why should I count someone who likened my vajay to a Chalupa?

We all have those guys or hookups that just shouldn’t count. And by “count” I mean “never happened and I am going to drink heavily so I completely block it out.” I asked the CollegeCandy writers to tell me which guys didn’t make their list. Where do you draw the line?

Alana – Boston University: When you’re cuddling with your close guy friend and it just sort of happens…

Lindsay – University of Texas: When he drools all over your face and chin.

Ness – Sheridan: If it’s in, it counts.

Leah – Ryerson University: When you push him off and tell him to f*** off because you can tell it’s going to suck within seconds on any contact.

Donnette – Manhattanville College: When you tell yourself that it doesn’t because he’s a jerk/stalker/cheater/overall write off.

Lauren H – The New School: If neither party remembers what happened, it doesn’t count

Sarabeth – University of Texas: When it only lasts 30 seconds. I unfortunately know from experience.

Dannia – Loyola University, Chicago: When one of you quits and falls asleep halfway (or 1/4 of the way) through.

Lauren – University of Michigan: When he pisses the bed. There is no way in hell I’m counting that one.

Erica – Kent State: When he drunkenly falls asleep on my cheek mid-kiss. Yeah. That. Happened.

Carrie – Duke: I think every hook up counts. But if you really, really, really regret one, I think you’re allowed to at least pretend it never happened.

Katie – Michigan State: If he doesn’t orgasm, it doesn’t count.

Mechelle – Florida State: When you wake up to find he strongly resembles (and smells like) swamp thing.

Ricki – University of Michigan: When your friends have to tell you that it happened/ exactly what happened.

3549930 Comments2009-07-17+15%3A00%3A03CC+Staff on "The CC Weekly Weigh In: Wait, That Didn’t Count…"

shari says:
Fri, 17th Jul 200912:28 pm

i'm from the school of "if it's in, it counts!"

Alisha says:
Fri, 17th Jul 20095:54 pm

It's been "in" with 4 people for me, I have 2 I don't count, both lasted under 5 minutes and were with friends and should have never happened, never happened again, and although it was in, there was no intimacy or any of that, so I don't feel it counts. Somewhat similar to sex toys. I count my good ones though.

moj says:
Fri, 17th Jul 20097:47 pm

I am so glad you wrote this!

My one that I don't count stopped about 25 seconds in and just said "we probably shouldn't do this"….WTF… he initiated!

Nikki says:
Sat, 18th Jul 20099:07 pm

…hmmm…sounds like Molly just found out her husband's been cheating with his intern…wow. Spiteful much??

Jess says:
Sun, 19th Jul 20092:44 pm

haha Nikki, I agree.

Alma says:
Mon, 20th Jul 20097:30 am

if it last so little your confused when he gets up…yea that does not count!

callahan says:
Mon, 20th Jul 20098:10 pm

if you can't tell if he's put it in or if he's still fingering you, it doesn't count.

folly&flotsam says:
Tue, 21st Jul 200910:51 am

HAHAHAHA Molly made me laugh a little.

Alice says:
Wed, 22nd Jul 200911:41 am

Hmm I don't know about the "if it's in…" rule. I reckon there should be like a three-thrust minimum or something.

Andi says:
Thu, 23rd Jul 20095:53 am

It shouldn't be IN in the first place. God you girls have no sense of self, mind you I'm a college girl too except I actually have a little something called self-esteem which pairs nicely with this other thing I possess called standards. Try and find some.

Michelle says:
Thu, 23rd Jul 200912:42 pm

If you couldn't feel it and only suspect it's "in" because he's moving up and down… that doesn't count. Yes I had this happen once. I quickly realized what may (or may not) have been going on and said "hmmm we probably shouldn't be doing this."

Mandy - Hofstra says:
Fri, 24th Jul 20097:19 am

hahaha…sounds like Molly needs to get some "in" herself.

oh Molly…

This post is great!

Marie says:
Sat, 25th Jul 200912:23 am

Just because girls have sex doesn't mean they don't have self esteem or standards. Way to keep sexual stereotypes alive.

La says:
Sat, 25th Jul 20094:31 am

my *true* number is 4, but there are 2 that I just REALLY really do not want to count, mostly because it involved some super sh*tty circumstances and the guys were totally taking advantage. i still do say 4, but in my heart, i know it's only 2.

Molly says:
Sat, 25th Jul 20094:46 am

Reading through these comments make me FURIOUS!!!!! I am so sick and tired of these filthy whores acting like sluts. It isn't OK. All this talk about having sex and "is it in or not" made me throw up all over my computer screen. This is not the kind of talk that girls are supposed to be using. Do no girls have class anymore? Why do girls insist on behaving like rotton whores? It makes me sick. Literally. You girls need to change you lives real quick. You are on the path to middle age whoredom. While you may think it is cute in college to act like a whore, it won't have the same effect with guys when you have crows feet and leather skin with cellulite thighs and vericose veins you dirty rats.

meghan says:
Sat, 25th Jul 20095:04 pm

While I once would have protested Molly's comments, I have to admit that I'm regretting more than 50% of the guys I have been with. I've made some stupid mistakes, and I'm not proud. Not because I think it's wrong to have sex– that's not it at all– but at least for me, sleeping around is NOT good for my self-esteem, and it's a vicious cycle. I've decided to stop having sex with anyone I'm not in a relationship with, but unfortunately I can't take those 'oopses' back, and I still have to see them sometimes. It makes my stomach drop. If you feel guilty about sleeping with someone you don't know, you probably shouldn't do that anymore.

Kyle says:
Sun, 26th Jul 20098:14 am

Speaking as a guy (which means probably most of you could give a rats ass what I think) I count 'em all, good, bad, poor decision, wrong motivation, scary and I'd rather just forget that one. And not out of any sense of accomplishment or achievement, but as part of my history and memories that should either be learned from or looked back on wistfully. That being said, this isn't a number that gets bandied about in conversation regardless of what gender I'm chatting with. This number is a private matter. The situations and issues that made it what it is is a private matter.

Finally, Molly, I pity the fool who marries you. Your level of repression, obviously both of self and of others borders on scary. Your judgmental comments show both a lack of maturity and what would seem to be a rather sad childhood. I don't really pity you,(after all, the judgmental deserve scorn rather than pity) but people like you make the world sad.

Molly says:
Sun, 26th Jul 200911:57 pm

Kyle,

I wish I could say your opinion was relevant or had an ounce of importance, but it doesn't. YOU ARE A GUY READING A BLOG FOR GIRLS!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHA. Do you also read Cosmo and get mani-pedis. HAHAHA. Shouldn't you be on like ESPN.com or something and not a blog for girls? Get a life dickhead!!!!

Paying a hooker for sex must make you really proud. You are obviously a fat, ugly guy who no girl would even look at, much less do anything sexual with. Hahaha.

Rachel says:
Sat, 1st Aug 20096:15 am

I am curious as to whether Molly actually did throw up all over her computer screen as "she" stated. If so I think "she" has more to worry about than the sex lives of college girls who dare to make their own decisions.

Also, harsh on poor kyle much?

Also, $50 says that "molly" is a man.

Stephanie says:
Sat, 1st Aug 200910:03 pm

LOL wow Molly needs some anger management lashing out on people speaking their opinion haha…. this is America!

but anyone you have sexually intercourse with should be counted and the only reason you wouldnt want to count them is cuz you've slept with too many and are trying to figure out a way to make your number sound more acceptable but it doesnt even matter because you know the real number. But im proud to say my number is 1 =]

tyna says:
Sun, 2nd Aug 20096:05 pm

Who the fuck cares if u have sex with ppl. If u want 2 be a slut go 4 it and learn from it!!! Do what makes u happy if u regret it try not do repeat ur mistakes. (easier said then done) if girls didn't judge each other so much this wouldn't be an issue. guys are praised constantly while girls are put down and left feeling ashamed. W.e ppl shit happens. If u wana tell ppl ur number is lower then feel free 2 its no ones business. As 4 molly no one gives a fuck.

Molly says:
Mon, 3rd Aug 20094:45 am

Tyna- When you can learn how to write correctly and not in text language gibberish, let me know. Until then, shut your mouth whore.

Casey says:
Mon, 3rd Aug 20099:21 am

Meghan, I agree completely. I was the same way, and while it may not be the wrong choice for everyone, it was for me. I've only been with 8 guys, including my current boyfriend who I plan on staying with forever. But even though my number isn't huge, I still regret some of them.

But I do think that you should be honest about your number, for the safety of the other person involved. Everyone should have a right to know who they are sleeping with, and when you have sex with rando's every night a lot of people probably aren't going to want to go there. It's selfish to not tell someone straight up what they are getting into, if asked. If they don't ask you don't have to tell, but honesty is the best policy, and you know you would want someone to be honest with you if you asked them.

If you're worried that your "number" will hurt your chances with guys, then maybe you should re-think the way you're living.

tyna says:
Wed, 5th Aug 200912:19 pm

Oh molly. Get a nose job or something. Then maybe a boy will want 2 touch u. Until then enjoy fugliness!

Laura says:
Thu, 13th Aug 20097:56 pm

*sighs*

What the hell is up with the amount of trolling on this site? I mean, really, Molly, go back to the pits of slimey doom from whence you tromped out of. The frequency with which you use the words 'slut' and 'whore' mark you as a troll immediately.

Just a tip: real people are more subtly vitriolic, with overtones of good intentions.

Even hitler seemed like a good idea at SOME point, right?

Juanito says:
Fri, 21st Aug 200911:55 am

I’m pretty sure I’ve been the one that didn’t count about 5 or 6 times. I didn’t aspire to it.

As for Molly – calm down. If you think this behaviour makes women whores – ignore it. It’s their lives, not yours; what gives you the right to cast judgment on everyone exactly. Talk about immature and ridiculous.

Finlay Richardson says:
Mon, 24th May 20101:07 am

my best friend has been in an Anger Management class for 2 months now, he improved a lot when dealing with anger.,.’

Josiah Russell says:
Wed, 6th Oct 20106:34 pm

most of us would need some anger management therapy if we are on very stressful jobs*:.

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