Tuffy Luv Doesn’t Need Needy Friends

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By Sara

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I have this friend who will NOT STOP BOTHERING ME! She’s really nice and I mean I know she means well but it’s like every time I look at my phone I have a text message or a voicemail from her. I’m so sick of it. And the most annoying part of it is I’ll call her back and she doesn’t have anything to say! She just “wanted to say hi” and then it’s like well I’m busy I have a life so can we talk when we see each other?! But now it’s to the point where I don’t even want to hang out with her.

It sucks because we’ve been friends since junior high (I just finished my freshman year of college), but I don’t know if it’s her or me but she’s really gotten annoying. I was away at State so I don’t know maybe I changed and she didn’t?

Anyway, help, please. I don’t want to lose her as a friend, but I don’t know how much more I can take.

Thanks, Tuffy!

Annoyed

Dear Annoyed,

Blah, how annoying indeed.

Well, let’s look at it from her perspective first. You guys are good friends and she’s just happy to have you home for the summer. This is the first time since Junior High that you’ve been apart for so long, right? Well, she’s not quite used to it yet, and she missed you. And that’s very sweet.

But girlfriend has got to get on with her life. She can’t be calling you a million times a day. It is absolutely going to ruin your friendship.

Get together with this girl and sit her down over dinner at her favorite restaurant. Tell her how much you love her and appreciate her friendship. And then tell her, nicely but firmly, that it’s really hard for you to get so many messages from her all the time. Explain that this is a really busy summer for you for whatever reasons it really is, and that texting is too expensive to do so often. But then tell her you missed her too and you want to see her.

At that point, you should make plans to have weekly dinner. (Or weekly coffee if you really can’t handle seeing her that much.) Tell her that this way you’re guaranteed to see each other and catch up every single week, and that you’re really excited to set this up.

After you’ve sweetly set this up and she’s happily agreed, if she’s STILL calling you till you puke, don’t call her back so quickly. If she calls you in the morning, call her back the next afternoon. As long as you continue to see her every week, she should get the message: you love her, but you don’t want to be her phone slave.

Hope this works, Annoyed! Have a great and annoyance-free summer!

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv