The Doctor Is In: Why Does Sex Hurt Me?

sex hurts

Talking sex with your doctor isn’t always easy. Whether you are afraid she or he will judge you,  you just don’t feel comfortable sharing the intimate details of your life between the sheets, or you can’t think straight with a speculum between your legs, many people get tight lipped in the doctor’s office. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have questions.

We thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person and didn’t really trust the Yahoo community to answer for you. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I am not in a serious relationship, so I don’t have sex very often. When I do, though, it always hurts. Sometimes even more than the first time. Why is that? Is there something I can do so it doesn’t hurt anymore?

A: Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry! Sex is supposed to be fun, right? Isn’t sex always easy, painless, and orgasmic in the movies? Maybe so, but what you’re experiencing is not uncommon in real life.  In fact, I suffered from the same problem myself back when I was in my twenties.  Have you seen a gynecologist about this issue? There are a number of reasons you may be experiencing pain, and your doctor might be able to help you.

Painful sex (we docs call is dyspareunia) is normal when you first have sex. Because your hymen may still be intact when you lose your virginity, sex often hurts in the beginning. But after a while, the pain should lessen and then resolve. If it doesn’t, a variety of conditions can be responsible, including vulvar vestibulitis (inflammation of the vestibule), vaginismus (involuntary contraction of the vaginal muscles), allergic reactions to things such as latex condoms, and endometriosis (when lining from the uterus gets on the ovaries, bowel & pelvic lining).  As women age, they also have lower levels of estrogen, which can make the vagina thinner, leading to atrophic vaginitis.  Many of these conditions can be treated, but it’s important to know the reason for your pain.  If you find yourself having sex regularly and are still having pain, be sure to tell your gynecologist. There may be a simple solution.

Feeling safe in a relationship is also an important part of making sure sex feels good.  Those who have had traumatic experiences with sex in the past, such as being the victim of a rape or child molestation, often experience pain with intercourse. As women, our bodies can be amazingly powerful at manifesting physical signals in response to psychological issues.  If any of these issues might play a role in the pain you feel, please see a therapist who can help you work through what you’ve experienced.

In the meantime, make sure that before you have intercourse, you are adequately aroused. If your partner isn’t already doing so, encourage your partner to assist you with a little foreplay.  If that’s not enough, try a personal lubricant like Astroglide. Sometimes, lubing up can decrease the friction against the vaginal wall, making things glide more easily and causing less discomfort. Also, certain positions may be more comfortable than others, so experiment with what feels better and listen to your body.

Most importantly, be honest with your partner about your experience. Don’t pretend you’re having fun when you’re not. You don’t want to train your body to endure pain when it’s supposed to be experiencing loving connection and sexual pleasure.  Doing so can train your body to shut down, which can damage your ability to be properly aroused in the future. Get help, be honest, and know that this won’t last forever.

In case it gives you hope, I’ll tell you that my story ended happily. After years of painful intercourse, the pain (caused by vulvar vestibulitis in my case) disappeared over time.  I think part of it was learning to live comfortably within my skin, part was finding the right relationship, and part was giving my body the opportunity to be heard. Perhaps, when you find yourself in a loving committed relationship having sex more regularly, this problem will melt away and you’ll be on your way to sexual bliss. Let’s hope so!

Let’s hope so!



  1. Casey says:

    I experience pain sometimes. I went to my gynecologist and she had no clue. When I told her I was having pain she suggested all of these things, but tests and examinations proved it was none of them. The pain isn't persistent. It happens occasionally and although I am thoroughly wet it feels as though there is a bump right inside my vaginal wall and the head of my boyfriends penis is getting caught on it and trying to rip it out. Very odd. The last time it happened we couldn't have sex for almost a month and then it just went away. I've just learned to deal with it and not have sex when it happens. :(

    But here's a tip, DO NOT have sex if you have gas! (haha gross I know) I have tried this twice (it's kinda embarrassing saying "sorry babe, no sex tonight, I have gas") and both times have ended up wriggling around on the floor with a terrible sharp pain like my intestines are literally going to explode at any moment.

    Maybe these only happen to me, I dunno.

  2. Van says:

    I experienced the same problem. If you go to the doctor, and they do a physical, they will most likely test you for bacterial vaginosis. That was the root of my problem, and after a brief (but uncomfortable) course of vaginal cream antibiotics, the pain went away :)

  3. Gregor says:

    Circumcision could be the problem or exacerbating it. The male foreskin plays an important role in minimizing friction.

    I have a suspicion that condoms can further limit the mobility of the penile skin which would increase friction like circumcision does. I have been wanting to try a female condom in the hope that it will decrease friction on my girlfriend.

    Lubricants are not created equal. I have found that Astroglide is far more like natural lubrication than a KY product that we tried.

    I read somewhere that coconut oil has helped some people. Probably not latex condom friendly, BTW.

  4. Joe the Drunk says:

    you need to find a guy with a small dick. i am available

  5. Ballu says:

    If sex hurts you then it would be useful to try Sentia pills. I took them for one month and have to say that I don't feel pain through intercourse any more. My doc said it was the lack of libido.

  6. WiseRiceGuy says:

    Find a asain dude, they alway have small dick:)

  7. […] thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your […]

  8. Nratale says:

    Sentia helps when women feel pain through intercourse. I like this supplement because it makes me very sexually active and lets me have deep orgasms.

  9. […] College Sex is great (OK, great is an understatement, but let’s move on), but what do you do when it’s not? Pain during sex is surprisingly common and can happen for a number of reasons. This week, I’m […]

  10. kelsey says:

    i have pain while sex when he goes in allthe way it feels like he is hitting something and it hurts so bad! i feel like a lump on my left side and it hurts that side way more! wht could it b?

    1. Dr. Appleton says:

      He could be ripping your cervix and it may cause swelling, I'd suggest you go to a Gynecologist to make sure no permanent damage has been done

  11. […] more like the result of a serious sexual workout than any medical condition.  Most people with sexual pain disorders, such as vulvar vestibulitis (inflammation of the vestibule) or vaginismus (involuntary tightening […]

  12. victoria freestone says:


    My boyfriend has pain when he come even having sex with me or hand job. I ask him if it is me but he said no, he inform me that he has had it before, he meet me and he inform me he found out that the pain start when he first did a hand job. he said he has seen a doctor but i dont know that and he told me the doctor said it is normal but that cant be

  13. Billy says:

    Hmm my girlfriend has a pain but only as i go in after that its fine, we can do whatever we want. But if it comes out i have to go through the same procedure that takes like a minute or two just to get into her. Anyone know? please help

  14. beebee says:

    i always have a burning feelin wen i have sex and dont enjoy sex at all any sugestions

    1. Dr. Appleton says:

      Sounds Like you could be allergic to the condoms you're using or you may have bv

  15. liv says:

    Billy, as a young woman I am experiencing the same problem as your girlfriend. The process of penetration is very painful each time I have sex. I think the reason is your girlfriend's vagina has not expanded enough to accept your penis when you enter her. Go very slowly, even if it takes more than a minute or two. Use a ton of lube and let her be in control. It's possible that because she knows she will experience pain, her psychological dread is preventing her vaginal muscles to relax. I believe that is what's happening to me. Hopefully after some time has passed both our problems will resolve themselves.

  16. […] to find that sex is uncomfortable or just never ever good at all, it couldn’t hurt to get checked out by a gynecologist, just to make sure everything is running smoothly. Especially since you WILL be going there anyway […]

  17. yessi says:

    hi, right now i'm a healthy relationship. but occasionally i have get pain while having intercourse. i went to my doctor, but had no problems and that i was perfectly healthy and fine. me and my partner have a very unique sex style and are always changing it up. im not sure but could it be some positions that we use that causes me pain?

    1. Dr. Appleton says:

      Yes, Every woman's vagina is different The slightest tilt of a leg can throw you off. stick to the positions you know won't hurt to avoid future damage that could be permanent

  18. thsepo says:

    try finger fuckin for a while then tryy something bigger

  19. Melissa says:

    why does it hurt in the beginng when my bf sticks it in please sometimes it hurts alot

    1. anna says:

      It means you have a small vagina, and it is gonna hurt the first 2 or 3 minutes. Just tell him to be slow and gentle, Lubrications also make it a little easier

  20. Feliya says:

    Please help!!!!I have been having pain during sex & it hurts really bad!! I hate it when I can't please my man!!! He deserves it & I'm glad he understand my issue!!! I really need to know what is the cause of this because i Dont even have orgasm any more!! It is truly sad and it makes me feel less of a woman when I can't even make good love!!! I am 21 years old and I believe that I am too young for this right now!!! I miss feeling my peak point!!! I have been in this relationship for 2 and a half years & this problem didn't occur until this last past year when I had to be treated for repeatedly yeAst infections!! I have been tested for everything so an STD or aids( or anything like that) can't not be the reason!! Please help me because this is affecting my life a whole lot! Plus me & my man are talking about marriage!

  21. Ashton says:

    hey so i have had sex five times with 4 different guys. i have not found it to be pleasurable and i have asked all of my friends and they say that after their first time it felt amazing. i don't understand why it still hurts for me. the entire time i am having sex its nd uncomfortable pain. is it maybe because the ppl i am having sex with is that i don't like them at all? i would really like to know why it still hurts me. i feel like i no one would want to have se with me because i don't find it to feel good and i don't want them to think it is because they are bad because they aren't i just want it to feel good for me. PLEASE HELP ME!

  22. jennifer says:

    umm hi this is jennifer i am 16 and just had sex with my boyfriend for the first time.. He was my first and it hurt like hell. I always thought sex would be fun but honestly it hurt like really bad. He said after the first time it would get better. Is this true???

    We had sex like 3 or 4 times but the 2 & 3 time hurt just as much as the first. I was trying to do it more to get use to it faster but i didnt seem to work..

    what do i do??

  23. jennifer says:

    i am 16 and just had sex with my boyfriend for the first time.. He was my first and it hurt like hell. I always thought sex would be fun but honestly it hurt like really bad. He said after the first time it would get better. Is this true???

    We had sex like 3 or 4 times but the 2 & 3 time hurt just as much as the first. I was trying to do it more to get use to it faster but i didnt seem to work..

    what do i do??

  24. jenny says:

    hey i have been having sex since the age of 16 and i have never found it pleasurable. each time the penis goes in it hurts like hell, we have tried everything and nothing seems to be workin for me, please help me i really want to learn how to enjoy sex :(

  25. gurr says:

    ok, so im 19, and im not really a newbie to the sex thing anymore. im in a steady relationship, and we have been having sex ofcourse. but i mean, im not sure if this matters, but im a very small woman. 5'1, 94 lbs, im just tiny in general. i used to have the occasionaL pains here or there, but lately sex has been way more painful. i guess, the best way for me to put it, is that when it goes in it feels like… like someone is stabbing some wall inside me. and i try to be sneaky about the way i move so my man doesnt realise im hurting, but he always notices and asks whats wrong… then he realises that it hurts me and he just.. stops. i want he and i to be able to have sex less painfully, but i dont know whats up with that, and i have no insurance. the soonest i can get insurance is in jan so im kinda just stuck. if anybody has any advice im open for new options. :]

  26. Kayla says:

    I'm nineteen and I've been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. When we have sex 9 out of 10 times its painful and uncomfortable. When he starts to go in sometimes I feel a stabbing pain inside, and sometimes I feel that pain like up in my stomach. I also, like the person ahead of me do not have insurance and I can't get to the doctor because right now I dont have a job either. I get scared to have sex most of the time and it sucks because I feel bad for my boyfriend. He knows the pain I feel when we have sex and he just feels really bad and doesn't want to hurt me. I don't know what to do about the situation, but it's really starting to scare me. I'm worried something is really really wrong with me. I hope I get a response soon because I hate feeling this way.

    thank you.

    1. kayla says:

      my name is kayla too and im also nineteen and i can say i have that feeling too. But sometimes the pain i have feels like a bone is rubbing inside and it kills the mood but my boyfriend doesn't understand. But when i did have insurance i went to the doctor for the pain your having too because it hurt that bad like it was jabbing me with a knife when we had sex my docotor told me i have a tipped uterus and to try other postions i did that and it worked for a while but now i have a different pain and don't know what to do with it…. i know that what he is hitting in you is your cervix so try having sex laying on your side faceing eachother that might work

  27. kristin says:

    I'm a little younger than most of these people, but i still don't get it. i've been having sex for 2 years and nothing has went wrong. but suddenly, last week it started hurting like crazy. it's mainly when my bf sticks it in, after that i can handle it, but it still sort of hurts. i'm just about scared to have sex now because i know it is going to hurt at the beginning.

  28. Rebecca says:

    I was a virgin when I got married at age 21 and was shocked when we tried to have sex that first night. It was so painful he never was able to enter and we couldn't have sex. (This was such a disappointment and ruined what should have been a beautiful, memorable evening.) Upon returning from our honeymoon I went the obgyn and talked to her about the whole experience. She said Vaginismus is very common but not very openly expressed, so very few women realize it exists until they have the problem. It is a somewhat uncomfortable, but easy cure. She prescribed me dilators. They are sortof like tampons and you put them in for a little while and try to wear them longer and longer until you can move to the next size. Eventually I didn't need them anymore. My husband and I have sex now with no discomfort whatsoever.

  29. Madison says:

    I am 24yrs old and I have been married for 2yrsa and we recently had our first child and I am having a hard time getting in the mood for sex that it hurts when I am with my husband I have not see a doctor but I feel it is causing marriage problems..I just can't get in the mood

  30. kayla says:

    Hey my bf josh wonts to have sex and it will be my first time I won't it to fill good but I think its realy going to hurt so I say later and he said I will go slow till u say stop or to go faster so what should I do

    1. jarrett says:

      try it out. ur gonna hav to sooner or later. as long as u love him anyways

  31. Gabby says:

    I'm 34 years old and had sex the first time last year. I knew it would hurt the first time but it was way worse than i had imagined. I figured that may be because I waited so long and well my boyfriend's penis is quite large. The original pain went away but I have had nothing but problems ever sense. I got a UTI was treated for it I was having constant yeast infections which seems to be getting a little better finally. But it still hurts when he first enters me, it seems like once he stretches my vagina out a little it hurts less but it's really not that enjoyable. I enjoy being close to him but sometimes it just hurts. Sometimes it feels as if he is hitting my bladder with every thrust but I told him this and he isn't going as deep and that seems to have helped but I'm just not enjoying it much. I've had tons of tests. I do have mild displasia but I don't know if that would cause pain. If he takes me from behind it hurts but kinda feels good but if he takes me from the front my entire genital area down there just feels like it's rubbed raw. I try to use lube internally and externally but it doesn't help a lot. I figure it may be the friction that hurts me but how to do I prevent that from happening? I desperately want to enjoy sex with him. It just so unfair, I waiting until I was 32 to have sex and now it's not fun like it should be. I've never had an orgasm during sex and it frustrates him and makes me feel like there is something really wrong with me. any advice?

    1. anna says:

      I have that SAME EXACT problem :/ right down to the t. There are times where i just want him to finish and get off because it hurts so bad :[

  32. ashley says:

    it hurts so bad we had sex 18 times because we both want a babby but it hurts bad
    but i like sex really i do

  33. Sophia says:

    I've been married for almost 3 years now, and very often I experience very painful intercourse. It doesn't matter how aroused I am, it still hurts. A lot of times I even bleed after intercourse, and I have noticed I get small cuts that look like paper huts around the perineum.

    I had one sexual partner before my husband and I never had this problem.
    Is it possible that my husband is just too big for me?

  34. CynthiaT says:

    Believe it or not, stress or psychological trauma can cause painful intercourse. I ran into this problem with my first husband. We had never had any problems before, but then the marriage started going bad – I suspected he was cheating even though I couldn't prove it, he was becoming verbally abusive, etc… – and I began to dread sex with him because it would just hurt so bad. It was like my body was saying "this man is not right for you anymore, so he can't come in!". Of course he didn't care, so I just endured it until I left him. I've been married to my current husband for 10 wonderful years and have never felt so much as a twinge of pain with him.

  35. tom-tom says:

    hi, I’m 16 & me and my boyfriend have had sex 4 times now.
    the first time didn’t hurt that bad, but the other times hurt really bad when Im going in from the top. after it’s in, it’s totally fine. but does this continue to happen? or does it stop hurting going in after a while?

  36. cass says:

    Where do I start… Im 19 years old and my boyfriend an I have been dating for a little more than a year. When we first started having sex it was good we did all sorts of positions, cowgirl, my legs on his shoulders, dogystile, but suddenly it just began to hurt. I cant explain the pain…it just hurtse, sharp dull pain. Not going in but once he is in. Cowgirl and my legs on his shoulders are now the worst postition ever. And now when he wants to have sex i just think…OUCH and ughh. I have seen my gyno but the answer i get is..hmm idk maybe try lube….weve tried EVERTHING. I just want it to stop… I just want answers but when i look for them i never get the answer i need… its tearing my bf and I apart…

    1. brianna says:

      my husband and i have been together for a very long time but after having a baby, sex started getting painful for me too. we also tried everything. :-(

    2. Maypaki says:

      I finally realized that God is indeed a MALE.
      The reasons are:

      1.) If God is a female, she would never inflict women with painful intercourse. She would merely inflict them with infertility. Her empathy towards women's feelings will always prevail.

      2.) It is known in history that men treat women as property. Therefore, if God inflicts a woman with primary vaginismus, thick hymen or dry vagina, then her vagina is now the property of God. She's meant to control the population.
      God uses her as an instrument to reveal who the real rapists are, thereby upholding women's most divine right -the right NOT to be raped.
      This proves that God is a male, because for him, there are things more important than empathy towards females.

      This explains why painful intercourse is MORE COMMON among females than males.
      Because God is a MALE and treats some women as his property to control the population.

      I am now an enlightened man.

    3. jessica rincon says:

      so have u found a cure yet?i have the same exact prroblem.

    4. Ashley says:

      ya i know what u mean i just turned 18 and me and my boyfriend just had a little girl together.back when we first got together when i had just turned 16 i could have sex in any positions but now i cant have sex at all and if we do then we have to quit right in the middle of it cause i hurt so bad i start to cry trust me i know what u are going through i just wish a doctor could help me so that i can start having good sex again instead of all the bad sex.

  37. chrystal says:

    Well….me and my bf have been havinh sex for ages and i feel so sore dosnt help im illgeric to laxtex……. So we dont use anything other than heeps of mistroser…i feel horrible he is a nipho and would never cheat on me but bc of the pain we canr have sex AT ALL…

    Which sadly we fight and he thinks he isnt attractive. But he knows the pain makes me cry sometimes he just pushes me away and gose to sleep..i need help.

    1. Amanda says:

      leave him. no one is worth that. if he ignores you because you won't endure the worst pain of your life for him to "get some," then he is a jerk. you are a woman who deserves more respect than that.

  38. chrystal says:

    Why are most of us 19??

  39. rachel says:

    that was extremely helpful!

  40. Tahlia says:

    Sex is fucking awesome when u r in a loving committed relationship talk to ur partner tell him wht u like and most importantly FOREPLAY !!!!! Try new things change it up dress it up always listen to ur partner sex isnt supposed to hurt relax and enjoy

  41. Mz.Juicy says:

    hi I’m 13. my boyfriend wants to have sex and so do I. I have watched a lot of porn and done a lot of research, but some research has show’d that the first time hurts. I need some advice

    1. Halie says:

      Youre 13!!? Don't have sex. You have plenty of time to wait. If you start so early you really don't have much else to look forward to when you get older!! Protect yourself and don't do it.

    2. Stef says:

      Omg, I totally agree! Do NOT have sex at 13, it's illegal! Wait until your 16 and when you fee ready, even if you think you feel ready now – trust me, You're NOT!

    3. Amanda says:

      don't do it. i'm sixteen, and i think i was too young. trust me, it's not a good idea.

  42. Sandra says:

    im15 and im always feeling horny but im scared to have sex because say its hurts like helll? does anyone what feeling is likee? please help

    1. suraj says:

      hy sandra

    2. Amanda says:

      for me, it was horrible. it felt like someone was trying to jab something in me that just didn't fit. it also felt like i continuously had to pee, when i didn't. it stung really bad too. i also bled. i cried so hard my first few times. i have had sex 8 times. last night was the first night it didn't hurt. my advice: FOREPLAY HELPS. if you want some other advice… if you're 15, i worry that you will regret the decision. i'm almost seventeen and i know that i was too young. you need to do it with someone you love, and/or trust. but, @lit is right. there are other ways to go about your sexual desires other than actual sex. i wish you the best.

    3. lit says:

      See if you can maybe get someone to give you oral sex to start with. There really are other answers to being horny.

    4. lily says:

      I'm going to be honest, the first time does not hurt that much. I now have painful sex but the first times were the least painful for me. Don't be scared, just try it.

  43. Amy says:

    for my first time should i do it with someone with a small dick.?

    1. lauren says:


  44. liza says:

    I'm 21 and my boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years. He has no problems arousing me or making me feel good except when it comes to vaginal intercourse. It hurts, It feels like I just gave my vagina an intense work out when nothing much happened. I love the way he makes me feel but I just can't get excited about sex. He thinks it's his fault, but I'm not so sure. It didn't always hurt for me, but it never felt satisfying. It's been going on for two-ish years and I'm not sure how to fix this.

    1. whiskeybucket says:

      really maypaki?….really? you've got to be kidding me….

  45. Antonio says:

    hi im 15 and worried about my penis size it is 10 inches what do you recon it should be

    1. Alice says:

      Most of us girls only make fun 6in or less. Im just a girl so dont know much about guys but i think 10 in. is a good size

  46. Alexis says:

    I have my girl friend and every time I eat her her out she has a pain I ask her if it has to so with my lip ring or tounge ring and she said no but in atill scared to eat her out agin

  47. Unknown says:

    Im 17 real soon to be 18 and am a virgin. Well Ive never had dick in me but I have been fingered. I think when I was fingered he broke my hymen but not sure. Anyways I am afraid it will hurt when I have sex because when the times I was fingered sometimes it hurt. What should I do? I dont have to have to tell my boyfriend to stop because it hurt to much because I know boys talk and I dont want something embarresing like that to get around. What should I do?

    1. jamie says:

      If you don't trust him, you shouldn't have sex with him. :/

    2. asdf says:

      You should be able to tell him to stop. If he was someone who cared about you for more than sex, then he would understand and be more gentle or stop until you feel ready again.

    3. Kristina says:

      thats true, dont have sex with him if u dont trust him, but fingering hurts me too and im 21, sex is better. use LUBE! maybe he can even finger u with lube, and that might feel better so u can feel more comfortable with sex

  48. violet says:

    alright….im 22 and me and my boyfriend have sex every once in a while…the reason being is because it hurts when he goes deep in… i think he's hitting my cervix and its a pain that is almost unbearable. i try and force myself to have sex with him because i still want to satisfy him…He's pretty "big" and i have always had smaller dicks in the past. So i dont know if im just goin to get used to it or just have to deal with the pain…i have read that it shouldnt hurt when your guy hits your cervix. its only supposed to feel uncomfortable…i need help because i really want to enjoy have sex with my boyfriend and as of right now….its not working out =( ——-violet

  49. Lisa says:

    I have tried to have sex 2 times with my bf before. It hurts so bad, I cry, in front of him. It’s the worst feeling in the world and I feel bad bc I love him a lot and I want to make him happy. He lives an hour away in a big big city for school, alone in his apt. So I’m scared that he will find someone else to be intercouse satisfied with.

    I want to have sex but I can’t stand the pain. I think I’ll go to the doctor’s soon. These posts helped a lot.

  50. carol says:

    Why does it hurt to have oral sex? It has never bothered me before but the last year or so I don't enjoy it anymore and my husband doesn't seem to understand how much it hurts.

  51. Ashley. says:

    My husband and I were virgins when we got married, and have been married for a year and a half, and the sex during our first year of marriage was great. For the past 5 or 6 months though, all I've been able to feel is pain. Sometimes it goes away after he's completely in- but that's only if I'm able to ignore it while he's trying to get in, but mostly it's all I can do not to cry or scream because of the pain. It only hurts in one spot- the left side of me right when he goes in. We've tried everything, waiting up to 3 days before making love, using lots of lube, hours of foreplay, oral, but everything hurts. I've been trying to see a doctor, but where I live, no one is accepting patients. I don't know if this has anything to do with it, but most of the pain started after I switched brands of birth control. Any suggestions?

  52. Tiffany Alford says:

    OK, So I am a few months from twenty years old. Here lately when my husband and I have intercourse it hurts very bad, although i do not want to hurt my husbands feelings I tell him to stop because of the unbearable pain that it has been causing. last night and a couple of nights before this happened and after my husband stopped, i ran to the bathroom both times and threw up majorly. Then it caused me to have diarrhea, heat waves, or hot flashes. I have also been having very very frequent urges to urinate so bad that i almost can not get up to make it to the bathroom. Can anyone give me any answers as to why the pain and vomiting are occurring??

  53. hi am helen says:

    after being disvirgind four years ago, i stayed away from sex cuz of d pain. and two weeks back, i tried it again, the pain was more excrutiating than the first time at 23! mostly by the left side of my vagina. pls i want to enjoy sex and climax, what do i do?

  54. Yasmin Popalzai DK says:

    Hi I am 17 years old soon 18 :D (i am a virgin) , the thing is that I hear many people saying sex hurts and this scares me, well i have also a bf and we were talking about having it but i did told him i am scared and he gave me the reply 'sex doesn't kill you sweetheart' lol as boys always say tht, so is there any advice or something that can keep me motivated, and yh i am also shy to show my full body to him lol so yeah thats it realy, i just need help thx :D

    1. Make sure YOUR ready says:

      It might hurt but that shouldn't discourage you, what I'm concerned about is that your boyfriend seems to be pressuring you little, It will be a lot better for you if you make sure your ready. My suggestion for the nervous to get naked in front of him is when you know your ready and he comes over wear nothing but a house coat and just drop it. I know from experience that when your nervous and trying to get naked in front of your boyfriend for the first time it can be dangerous, the first time I got naked in front of a boy I almost knocked my self out trying to pull my socks off. Make sure its nice and bright i your room too because if you do it for the first time in the dark you will have to deal with your fears of getting naked again when its not soo dark. … hope that helps. :D

  55. Yasmin Popalzai DK says:

    @ Tiffany Alford are you sure that u r not pregnant because if u vomit after sex then it is the chance that u r. It is something to do with your oestrogen which means when the egg and sperm fertilizes then it has that affect, but go to your GP and ask them for an ultra sound check up and for further advice, hope u feel better soon :D

  56. blackborow91 says:

    hi im 20 years old an i have been wiv my boyfriend for over 2 years now!!! when we first started having sex it was amazing but as time went on it started to hurt me mainly when he was goin in me but once he was in i was fine but it got to the point i didnt want to have sex because it was way too uncomfortable an it sometimes made me bleed an i need to know if there is anything wrong with me.

    1. lynn says:

      You probably are not lubricated enough. Foreplay can help will this or lubrication gels (the plain… no heated or tingling kind) Also i find being married also makes it a lot more enjoyable because you are not worrying about getting pregnant and stuff. Good luck will everything. Also if you share this with your partner, I am sure if he loves you he will try his best to to make it GREAT for you.

  57. dee says:

    Hi im 19 years old and i have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. When we first started dating our sex life was amazing, it was perfect and it never hurt. It all starting hurting a year ago when i graduated from school, i lost interest in sex because it hurt to much. He is larger than others but he trys to be gental, Its breaking us apart i love him alot, i jsut dont want to be put threw this pain anymore… I dont know what to do! i just want to get better, i have tried a vibrator it feels okay, but my pain is always on the back wall of my vagina, and sometimes it feels like im swollen after. Iv spoken to my doctor but she still hasnt gotten back to me yet about a gyno, and i dont feel comfortable speaking to my mother, or sister-in-law about this. HELP?

    1. Ouch says:

      I have the same problem :( . Sometimes I try really hard to ignore the pain but its bad and my boyfriend often mistakes my little crys of pain as crys of pleasure.

  58. Brianna says:

    Okay so the first that I had sex it didn’t hurt but my boyfriend at the time was fairly small but my curent boyfriend is about average and he couldn’t get it in it hurt way to much…is it just that it’s to big for me or wat??? Please help me

  59. Alee says:

    Okay, so me an my boyfriend have been talkin about sex. Im 16. And still a virgin. He is too. We comunicate very well. We have practically dont everything put no sex. Im easily aroused as he is too. He is a bit bigger then me, and his penis is quite large. Im very curious about sex. And have been doing alot of reasearch. But im starting to get scared because alot of people say it hurts. Any suggestions?

    1. susan says:

      you might want to try using some lubercation since it is your first time it might help where it doesnt hurt as bad and i promise it doesnt hurt to much if you use the lube thats what i did my first time and it helped me. i hope this helps you.

  60. susan says:

    This is embrassing for me but i am twentyfour and me and my fiance have been together for over a year and fixing to get married but it hurts when we have sex and we have tried almost everything and i cant use the numbing gel cuz he has an issue with feeling and we do alot of different poistions but it hurts really bad and i would like to know why. I have never had this issue before until i had my interstem surgery about two months ago and it just start to jurt worse yesterday. what should we do? i'm scared cuz it hurts so bad. what do u think? any answers?

  61. Kristina says:

    I am 21 years old, i have had a few sex partners, and sex never hurt, i have been in a serious relationshiop for almost 3 years now, and sex never hurt until maybe a year into this relationship. it was just random. 1 doctor told me it may have been a side affect from taking the shot, so i stopped long time ago but it didnt change anything. ive seen my doctore maybe 5 times, and he says he cant find anything, also i am not allergic to anything, ive tried nothing, everything, anything. It hurts half way into it and about an hour after. Is there something i can do difernetly, something i should ask my doctor. i want painless sex again!

  62. aeriel says:

    Wow!! Its very interesting reading what people say!! Read a cosmo they have so much great sex advice for you. <3<3

  63. Maypaki says:

    I finally realized that God is indeed a MALE.
    The reasons are:

    1.) If God is a female, she would never inflict women with painful intercourse. She would merely inflict them with infertility. Her empathy towards women's feelings will always prevail.

    2.) It is known in history that men treat women as property. Therefore, if God inflicts a woman with primary vaginismus, thick hymen or dry vagina, then her vagina is now the property of God. She's meant to control the population.
    God uses her as an instrument to reveal who the real rapists are, thereby upholding women's most divine right -the right NOT to be raped.
    This proves that God is a male, because for him, there are things more important than empathy towards females.

    This explains why painful intercourse is MORE COMMON among females than males.
    Because God is a MALE and treats some women as his property to control the population.

    I am now an enlightened man.

    1. Sam says:

      God is not real.

  64. 21 STUDENT says:

    i am 21 , am last night i tryed having intercourse with my boyfriend of 6months , we dont have sex often , iv'e been avoiding it , as it's a terribly painful experience ! it burns , and stings :( .. after i tend to bleed ., it's been times when he cant get it in !!! , as a child i was abused , could this have any part in it ??? PLEASEE HELP ME !!!

    1. alicia cox says:

      I am having the same problem everything you named is happing to me.

    2. alicia cox says:

      N im 20

    3. student123 says:

      Same for me and im 18…I need answers!!!

    4. Ashamed says:

      My husband and I have been married over 3 years now and have been together and sexually active together for almost 5 years…I have similar problems to yours, stinging, burning, painful/extremely tight, and bleed sometimes afterwards. I havent experienced him being completely blocked off before but there have been times where it was ridiculously hard to get it in! I have only orgasmed a few times and we have talked about it continuously but we never seem to get it right when we try and make it work perfect…I am ashamed of myself because I cannot provide my husband with what others girls could…if someone finds answers to this please post! It would be nice to know why all of us are so messed up.
      Also, going to get pap smears and all that jazz is painful, they have to use the little duck bill on me…I feel like such an idiot every time I have to go because by the end of the appointment the lady is always apologizing for making me tear up….so glad those torture sessions are only every few years!

    5. worried says:

      I feel exactly the same as you….with my boyfriend, I feel like I cannot provide him with what he deserves. We have been together 4 years and have sex about every 6-9 months! It is not enjoyable to me because of the pain I endure. I also have the same problem at the gyno appts. I tear up every time. I need answers too.

  65. roxanne says:

    hi i,m 54yr old i been wit my bf since 94 but now when we have sex it hurt so bad we even use baby oil i use to mess off on him but for d last five yr i haven’t mess wit no one but him he is a married man i don’t let him come over that off now because i no when we have sex it,s going to hurt we even do four play i can’t even do it no other way because it hurt but when it go down a little bit than that was i can really enjoy it.

  66. April says:

    hi I am 25 yrs old and me and my husband been married for 8 yrs. okay i had 2 kids and i have the maraina in it is a birthcontrol that last for 5 yrs and for yrs i have never had the pain i am having now i mean i want to have sexual desire with him but i am have very bad pains and it sucks i just want to know if there is anyway that i can stop the pain.. cause i hate it … somebody plz help me

  67. Amber says:

    Ok so I am 18 years old and have been with my bf for 2 years. I was on the depo shot for over a year and stopped due to messing with my body and horimons. But for about a year if im on top or sometimes in any pisition I feel as if he is stabbing my insides when we have sex. And usualy after it will hurt to sit ,or try to poop or anything useing muscles in my stomach. It will hurt usauly 3 days after. But it feels like pain in my overys, please help me.

  68. Amber says:

    Ok so I am 18 & me and my bf have been together for 2 yrs and I was on the depo shot for a little over a yr.(i am no longer on it now) but when I have sex it feels like its stabbing my insides and I cramp over in pain. It feels like its my overys in pain,but after it can hurt or cramp( in the area of were my overys are) when I sit, pee, go number 2 or anything using my stomach muscles. Please help me!

  69. mel says:

    i am 31 years old and have been married for 3 years.i was avirgin when i got married,and the first time hurt like hell,i get scared every time my husband and i try to make love,because the pain is still is like a sharp knife entering me when he tries,even if he tries with his fingers.I love him deeply,respect him greatly.He has been so patient with me,but it is very frustrating for us both.we have tried more foreplay and using lube.I am embaressed to tell my doc,because the few i have try to tell,say just relax.I know its not that,please,some advice would be appreciated.

  70. Kristina Whitt says:

    I'm 19, and have a son. I got the Mirena put in a year ago, and hadn't had sex since then until these past couple of weeks, but it hurts so bad, I always feel myself stopping. And it's only when he tries to go deep. I thought it was hurting because I hadn't had sex in so long, but we've had sex several times now, and it's always the same thing. So I guess my question is, is it the mirena that causes pain? Do I just have a short cervix? Or is there something wrong with me. On top of all that, I have never had an orgasm? Guys get so frustrated because they feel like they're not doing it right. I mean it feels good, but I still can't get off..What do I need to do to be able to orgasm?

    1. Ashley says:

      I am having the same problems as you. I have the Mirena and everytime i have sex it hurts. i feel the pain in the lower part of my stomach. It feels like someone is stabbing me. So i try to advoid it. But it makes my boyfriend feel like im not into him anymore. Someone please help. I would like to know what is causing this pain.

  71. Shon says:

    For the last 2 months or so I’ve been having painful sex. I have had like 4 or 5 yeast infections in the last month. The first time it started we had just finished and it hurt like hell, but I didn’t give it a second thought ( that was before all the yeast infections ). Now every time we have sex it hurts during and directly after we finish. I don’t have a disease or anything I just want to know why? What should I do or try? I’m also on birth control pills but I don’t think that is the problem?

  72. katherine says:

    i am 16 years old and me and my boyfriend decided to do a test run just a quick thing while his parents were gone and it hurt so bad this is the first time i have ever even tried to have sex or do any thing like this and it was hard to tack. about a few min in to it i started bleeding and i am not sure why. we thought it was that i got my period or that i was just spotting we dont know.
    But why does sex hurt so bad the first time i dont really understand and i am to shy and its uncomfortable to ask my mom.

  73. Mia says:

    Okay im 13 years old, Nd i do not plan on having SEX at all at my age, im really smart and i think ahead about my future,when i grow up i want 1 boy and 1 girl, also i don't wana do it till im comfortable and im married, which is a long time from now. but today i was riding home on the school bus and my friends tended to talk and have a conversation to me about it and they told me that it hurts having Sex , it made me judge my future a little bit and i got really scared,now i feel as if i don't even want a relationship as I grow uhp because i don't wana ruin things for me or my body , it's scaring me to death and I just dont want some of my plans in my future anymore, Please Help Me with this Advice, i can't go to anyone about this.

    1. rhea says:

      sex does hurt the first time but your body will get used too it. Your a sensible person and you'll know when the right time is, you dont have to worry

  74. Betsi says:

    Ok so every time I have sex I feel like crying and the pain is only getting worst and I don’t understand why. I thought when I gave birth to my baby girl that maybe it would help in some type of way like maybe help stretch down there or some thing but it didn’t and to tell I the truth the has gotten so bad to the point that I will only allow my boyfriend to have sex with me once a month some times not even that I need to figure this put it’s not right to him and I don’t want to be scared to have sex anymore and I told my gyn and he said it’s cause of my baby but I told him how cause I have felt the same pain since the first time I ever had sex so dome one please help me

  75. Devin says:

    Okay so I’ve been having sex for about a year and a half now, and everytime it feels great, but our last time having sex started off normal, nothing different, and then as he was going in deeper, it started to hurt so badly. It wasn’t like any pain that I’ve ever had during sex. I could usually feel it in hittin the back and it felt good, but this time something was different an I started to cry and had to tell him to stop. He’s the type of boyfriend where we’re very open and comfortable with eachother, so I didn’t have to hide the fact that he hurt me from embarrassment. He was okay with it but was just as confused as I was. We couldn’t figure out why it hurt and then he went back in and it was fine, because he didn’t go as hard and deep as he did before. But the pain wasn’t as intense as it had been.

  76. Xavia says:

    I av had sex 5 times wif 4 different guys and each time it hurts.i feel this pain in my lower stomach that takes days to go and my vigina burns 4 almost a even affects hw i aint fun i sick?

  77. Brittany says:

    Im 16 and my boyfriend is 22. But the other day we truer a new position. He put my legs over his shoulders. And during sex it started to hurt so bad that we had to stop. Is that something I should worry about?

    1. Tandi says:

      statuatory laws much.

    2. Elmo! says:

      he was most likely oushing into ur cervix….

  78. Starrr says:

    When I first met my husband we had sex all tha time with no prob & even enjoyed doin it in diff positions,I’ve been with him fo 10 yrs & up until now I have gotten ta tha point where I rather watch tv or tawk instead of havin sex & that of course is bcuz of tha pain that I now experience when havin sex with him,I had uh baby like 2 yrs ago & afta that everythg went down hill.

  79. Small Town Girl says:

    Okay, so me and my boyfriend both lost our virginity to each other when we was 15 & he was about to turn 16.. And I’m not going to lie the first time he stuck it in me it hurt like hell and I made him take it out , a week later we had sex with my legs on his shoulder and it felt better and ever since then it felt great. But lately , I’ve been feeling induce and sever paIn when he sticks it in me and the last 5 times I’ve felt burning , it had just hurt all together ! I almost cried. I told him he had to stop because he lasts a longggg time but he said he was almost done and I don’t wanna make him get blue balls because I feel bad when he does :/ but it hurts so bad that sometimes I don’t even want it. Could it be because he’s too big or what? I’m so confused. I love sex don’t get me wrong , but I don’t wanna feel pain because I’m about to just stop having sex . Something is wrong .. :/

    1. lasdkajdp says:

      dont listen to that 'blue balls' bs………guys say that to be selfish!

  80. Rose says:

    My name is rose and i am 20. okay with me i am wet and everything but it just hurts like rubbing and i don't really know how to describe it, it just isn't enjoyable and then i just get really frustrated. i am scared that it will always be like this and i will never enjoy sex.

  81. Kim says:

    I am 19. Me and my boyfriend had sex once when I was 18. It hurt SO badly. It was my first time. A week and a half later, we tried to hav sex again. It hurt so bad I told him to stop. I blamed it on my period just ending and still being sore from th first time. But th next time we tried, he started to go in and it hurt so badly I told him to stop. Since then, I can’t even try now. Every time I think of sex I thnk of that pain and it scares me so I don’t hav sex. My bf loves me very much and understands. And if I tell him to stop, he stops. But now I cant even try. I’m too scared. I get a pain in my stomach and feel lik I’m gonna throw up. I freak out and say no at th last second. What’s wrong with me? We want to get married and hav 4 kids. But how am I gonna do that if I’m too terrified to hav sex? I try to tell myself to just do it, but I chicken out at th last second. I tried a vibrator, fingering myself and him fingering me. I can’t talk to my doc bc my mom doesn’t no I’m having sex. We haven’t in almost 9 months. And I heard th more u wait th more it hurts. Plus a yr ago I got diagnosed with cysts on my ovaries. And that can cause pain during sex. But is that th only reason y it hurts? He’s kinds big and I’m very small but idk what to do. Plz help me.

  82. lola says:

    Hi tis is my situation. Im a few weeks pregnant and i been having sex and it hurts me alot, before it didnt hurt me like that much so why does it hurt me now ?? Is it hurting the baby ?? help me im scared for my baby.

  83. Kay says:

    I lost my virginity around 2 and a half years ago and I was with the first guy for 15 months. We had sex on a very regular basis for a at least once or twice a week- do the math, thats like at least a hundred times. It has never stopped being painful for me. During the year that I was having sex often, it would stop hurting after like 3min and just become kinda numb or uncomfortable. I've never had an orgasm, or even felt sexual pleasure from intercourse. I've had sex a couple times since then…or more like I've TRIED to have sex. it's like trying to stick a cucumber through your belly button, (i know weird analogy) it just won't go in! I was able to have sex once and I felt burning for days. it hurts like hell and i try to hide the grimaces and tears, but the guys get scared of hurting me and stop immediately. I hate that there is no pleasure in sex…just pain! My gyno doesn't seem to have an answer for me at all. if anyone knows what might be happening to me, please let me know!

    1. Jasen says:

      Hello Kay, Among the most detrimental signs and symptoms of Endometriosis, might be the painful sex that comes with it! It merely looks like a slap in the face! After all surely, would we really like to take our relationships for a ride and test it a lot more than the psychological pros and cons Visit my blog where i talk and research a little more about this:Know Your Health

  84. oldy put goody says:

    have not had a man nor sex in 22 years. decides to try it and my vaginia started to feel like stick pens in side even forplay did not help .what should i've done.

  85. bv free in 3 days review says:

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  86. Ann says:

    I have not had sex for three years now, I ma married I do not stray, when we tried to have sex it was like a red hot poker going in me, I was screaming in pain, not pleasure, can you tell me why this is, I went to my Gp, she gave me some lubrication inserts. that was so sore, it was as bas as sex, felt like all my skin was coming away,

  87. kev says:

    ok so when i first enter my gf it hurts her so i go in slow then she is alright and we can do whatever and however fast we want would that just be because we dont have sex very often

  88. Bizzle says:

    Okay, so i've been having sex for 4 years now, and the last 3 have been with the same person.. I'm 19. All of a sudden a couple months ago I just don't enjoy it anymore. I mean, he is really good at it, its just painful for me! Not when it goes in, but when its actually up there. It makes me feel as if I have to pee and it just feels very uncomfortable. I have anxiety and i read that could be teh cause, but I don't believe that. Its a physical pain not mental. I need help and i have no health insurance to find out whats wrong! When i did have health insurance i went to my normal doctor for a pap and told her about it, but she couldn't tell what was wrong because they didn't have any kind of ultrasound equipment or anything…

  89. Mary NICOLAOU says:

    I am a 44 year old lady and I haven't had sex I tried once and I had to push my man away just the tip of him trying to get in and I couldn't handle the pain also when I have pap smear test they have to put me asleep to do the test is it because I am an obese lady all my life my gynecologist said I am okay nothing wrong with me I arouse my self and that's okay what do I do

  90. Lucy says:

    i've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years however in the last 6 months i've been experiencing a lot of pain. i got check out and it came back all clear so i don't no what to think. it hurts at the bottom of my vagina as the skin stretches as well as when he goes in deep? Please tell me this isint normal? PLEASE HELP!!

  91. Ama says:

    Ok so for me sex has not been fun or enjoyable. Every time I have had sex it hurt. And I have only been with one guy for that reason, I was just never able to enjoy it, it hurt and that was the only sensation i felt. Four play was awesome, and when he touched me it felt really good, clitorial estimulation was awesome too but once intercourse happend it all went down. I just didn’t feel pleasure when he was in, I didn’t feel a thing. What was wrong? Is it “normal”? What can I do about it? I want to be able to enjoy my sexuality to the fullest…, help, please!?!?

    1. Meck says:

      Among the most detrimental signs and symptoms of Endometriosis, might be the painful sex that comes with it! It merely looks like a slap in the face! After all surely, would we really like to take our relationships for a ride and test it a lot more than the psychological pros and cons Visit my blog where i talk and research a little more about this:Know Your Health

  92. Cheri says:

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  93. Kat says:

    im 21 and 2 months ago i started having sex. ive had sex at least 6 times with the same guy and each time it hurts, when he goes in and while he's in. why is that? can someone please help me!

    1. Matilda says:

      Among the most detrimental signs and symptoms of Endometriosis, might be the painful sex that comes with it! It merely looks like a slap in the face! After all surely, would we really like to take our relationships for a ride and test it a lot more than the psychological pros and cons Visit my blog where i talk and research a little more about this:Know Your Health

  94. Jessibelle says:

    When my fiance and I have sex my insides sometimes hurt. This doesn't always happen but when it does I have to tell him to stop. Do you think this is an issue where I won't be able to have children?

  95. Danielle says:

    I have only recently begun partaking in sex, the last couple of months starting in January. At first it hurt pretty bad, not as much as I would have expected from all the rumors and such when I lost my virginity, the times after that it still continued to burn and feel like my guy was slamming my insides with a hammer (I use this because of a lack of better terms). As time has pasted it has only gotten worse. It used to be that only after a certain amount of time (30 to 45 min) would it begin to really hurt, although (especially today) the pain began after only a couple of thrusts… I have told my guy (who also has a limited knowledge regarding this topic) that I have not been enjoying it, which lead to the topic of how I have never had an orgasm, which (being prideful as he is) has been going out of his way to "make me cum" which has only made it more painful because he will hold himself back and go for longer and harder. I have been trying to relay how much this has been really hurting me, since after each time (when he is gone) I break down into tears over the pain and regret. Foreplay and oral feels fine (actually great) but sex has gone beyond the point that I just can't stand it anymore. At first I had believed that this was normal and that I must endure the pain as most women must do. I have also convinced myself that it doesn't matter if I enjoy it since it is my duty to make him feel good. My only conclusion thus far is that I either have an injection or something went wrong in my surgery when I was 4, which prevented my bladder from squeezing the urine back to the kidneys, the surgery was to fix my birth defeat. My mother (a doctor, who I do not feel comfortable talking to her about this) has claimed that I am prone to infections due to this surgery (I asked her what it was called, but have failed to be able to write it, is was some kind of implant). If I do have an infection, would I have to see a doctor to get medication or what? I'm just not to sure on what to do….. please help!!!!!!!!!

    1. Soft says:

      Among the most detrimental signs and symptoms of Endometriosis, might be the painful sex that comes with it! It merely looks like a slap in the face! After all surely, would we really like to take our relationships for a ride and test it a lot more than the psychological pros and cons Visit my blog where i talk and research a little more about this:Know Your Health

  96. Megan says:

    I’ve been in a relationship for about a year now and I’ve been on the shot the entire time. At first the sex was amazingly great and we could do whatever we wanted then out of the blue one day doggie style started hurting, and I mean like someone taking a knife and stabbing my stomach hurting, and it has slowly grown to where it hurts in almost every position we do now. I don’t get it, my last boyfriend and I used to have sex every day and nothing happened. I’ve always been tight so him hurting when it went in was nothing new but I’ve never had pain like this. I’ve literally cried and trembled because it hurt so bad. My doctor said it was just where I was ovulating that it can jostle them and make it hurt but It’s become an every time thing, ovulating or not, any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

    1. Soft Rocket says:

      Among the most detrimental signs and symptoms of Endometriosis, might be the painful sex that comes with it! It merely looks like a slap in the face! After all surely, would we really like to take our relationships for a ride and test it a lot more than the psychological pros and cons Visit my blog where i talk and research a little more about this:Know Your Health

  97. Marie says:

    I am 18 and me and my boyfriend have been together for two years and we have only had sex like four times. It hurts so bad its like something is stabbing my insides and it burns during and after sex. I can't even handle getting fingered, everything seems to hurt down there!! Please help me!

    1. Soft says:

      Among the most detrimental signs and symptoms of Endometriosis, might be the painful sex that comes with it! It merely looks like a slap in the face! After all surely, would we really like to take our relationships for a ride and test it a lot more than the psychological pros and cons Visit my blog where i talk and research a little more about this:Know Your Health

    2. Soft Rocket says:

      Among the most detrimental signs and symptoms of Endometriosis, might be the painful sex that comes with it! It merely looks like a slap in the face! After all surely, would we really like to take our relationships for a ride and test it a lot more than the psychological pros and cons Visit my blog where i talk and research a little more about this: Know Your Health

  98. sam says:

    i have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we had sex last year it really did not hurt me it felt really good and now it hurts really bad when we start its like he is hitting something in side and the pain wont go a way what could it be?

  99. sam says:

    i have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we had sex last year it really did not hurt me it felt really good and now it hurts really bad when we start its like he is hitting something in side and the pain wont go a way what could it be?

  100. becky says:

    Hi I have never been able to have sex. I’m 30 years old and I have been married for 4years. I am having problems in my now about a lot of things but I think the tension comes from the lack of sex. I want to do it I’m fine with foreplay but I can’t have anything put in me not even a finger I don’t have insurance but doctors have told me that it is called vaganismous. I have had a partial hymondectomy thinking that might help but my fear is so large that I didn’t try after my sergury now my body as probably healed so that was probably a waist of money I have been to many therapist but they don’t seem comfortable talking about it and there solution is to relax but I can’t getting drunk doesn’t help I thought about taking a drug but I can’t get my hands on any I need help please this problem makes me so deprest

  101. Terri Cooke says:

    Can you help me? i am 56 and have tryed all kinds of creams etc… my obgyn doctor can"t help me i also bleed everytime as well so my husband and i do not take part in the sex life that we would very much like to have….can u help? Terri

  102. Mae says:

    I've been with my boyfriend for a little over two years. We have sex often. It has neve hurt but the past two days it has. The first day wasn't that bad but today it was ike I was losing my virginity all over again. It was so painful. It's not because I wasn't lubricated and I do not have any STDs, STIs, or anything like that. Advice is appreciated. Thanks.

    1. Dr. Appleton says:

      It could be as simple as using a different tampon or changing soap, vagina's are VERY sensitive and it could be something he is doing, like if he urinates before intercourse it could be causing your uterine walls to swell and burn if he didn't shake all the excess urine off. make sure you're not allergic to any products you may use to have intercourse.

  103. Cecilia says:

    Dr. I really need help with this problem im having. i do not have insurance to get checked out. when my boyfriend is hitting it from the back and goes hard it really hurts and i have to stop all sex and get very aggitated with him and just want to cry. Have been with him for 8 years and after i had my child is when i am less into sex, and it hurts like hell. PLEASE HELP ME!

  104. diamond says:

    im not nervous to have sex at all! i tried a bunch of times with my boyfriend. but it always hurt! i can never let him put it all the way in because the pain is so BAD!!! this fustrates him and me as well i juss wanna know why does it hurt soo much like i understand that when you lose your viginity it hurts but its constantly hurting ALL THE TIME! why is that? im starting to think that its me and that i would never be able to have sex in my life.

    1. sophie says:

      this is exactly how i feel, have you bled at all?

    2. Steph says:

      This is my life. i feel so fucked up

  105. holly-ann says:

    Hi, im experiancing pain alot during sex but only in the morning :/ i fear for my relationship iv been with my fiancee 2 years n only just started to get pains this past year im worried please help :(

  106. Amee says:

    I'm in a loving relationship with a great guy. We have been together for a year & 2 months. I've never had any issues before. When he goes in, it's okay, but then a little further in to the right side, it's like he's hitting something. and it really hurts! I try to relax, and enjoy it like I always have with him, but if we go faster and it rubs more…it really hurts and he has to pull out. He feels terrible about it, and doesn't want to hurt me. he wants me to see a doctor. I just wish I had some better idea of what i was dealing with.

  107. Kar says:

    I wasmamvirgin when i got married and i Have been dealing with this for the entire 5 years my husband and I have been married up until recently. Finally I just talked to him and told him that penetration is so painful and that's why I don't seem interested in being sexual. So I went online and found out that I was 1 in 3 women who have this problem. I went to this website called and read this woman's story/blog. Everything she experienced was the same for me. Don't give up ladies. There is hope out there. And for those making mean remarks go stick your tongue in a fire and tell me how it feels!

  108. Courtney says:

    Im in a serious relationship with my boyfriend and we only see each other once a week because i would be studying throughout the week and on weekends we'd make time for each other. When we see each other at the start, of our relationship, we would have sex 3 or 4 times in 24 hours and we would make the most of it, after the 3rd time it would start becoming really painful and the fourth time would be the worst pain. Lately the first time we do it i have been not enjoying is as its becoming too painful and i have had to tell him to stop because I'm not able to handle the pain. I have also been getting sick a lot (with viruses that come and go) and have got the stress of exams so i don't know if this has anything to do with it but I'm not sure how i can do something to change this??

  109. Kathy says:

    Am a 55 year old and have been married to my husband for 28 years have 5 boys then when I had my last child 17 years ago I had my uterus removed .and I was fine with no problems then about 2 years ago sex was starting to become very very painful .I have tried all the lubes out there but it still hurts me and I can not relax because of it I can not go to my doctor to talk about this as I feel I would be wasting his time when am not sick as such .I dont no what to do as I still feel I have a lot of love to give my husband but its telling on both of us .can you advice me what it mybe Please Help me

  110. Stephanie says:

    It hurts every time I have sex this has been going
    on for 8ears now it started when I had my oldest child 8 years ago has been since I don’t know what’s wrong I’m afraid my Hubby will leave me cause I rarely have sex with him I don’t have insurance so can’t go to a doctor what can I do to fix this??

  111. heather says:

    I'm 16 and I've had sex multible times but everytime it hurts. I love my boy friend and I want to give him what he wants. I was raped and then molested a few months after so now its hard for me to have sex. I trust my boyfriend with everything but I get flashbacks during sex and it hurts really bad. help pleeeaseee

    1. Megan says:


      it helps you get over past experiences so they dont affect you anymore

  112. tari says:

    ive been in a relationship for almost 4 years now. My boyfriend was my first, and of course it hurt in the beginning which I expected. In the beginning we were doing it alot and I only remember it hurting in the beginning and getting better as we continued. But for about the last 2 years or so, as our sexual activity calmed down, it started to hurt for longer periods of time and still does and we often times have to stop. I don't get much pleasure out of sex because it hurts and I anticipate the pain which I'm sure plays a role as well. We have sex about once a week, and sometimes it doesnt hurt but majority of the time its very painful. Can you tell me why, after having sex with the same person for 4 years, it still hurts?

  113. amanda says:

    how nice to read an article about painful sex that isn't saying that i must have been secretly molested or something!! thank god i live in ny and my dr. sent me to this place medical center for female sexuality and they were3 reeeeally helpful in helping me feel like a normal person.ladies, dont give up hope…i never thought i could enjoy sex but i really do now and its only cuz its not painful anymore.

  114. Chelo says:

    When I had my first sex, It did hurt but there was no bleeding happened. And now, when I have sex with my boy friend, it really hurts. I get so wet in our foreplay bit when we will have our intercourse, I get dry easily. When he tried to suck it in, it starts to get hurt. Its like burning. Why is this happening? Please help!

  115. Caitelyn says:

    It’s not that I don’t feel comfortable with the guy I’m with and it’s not that I don’t want it with him ( because I do) it’s just every time I have sex with my boyfriend it hurts. I’m seventeen and I recently started having sex but I’ve done it like six times and it lasts a long time each time so I don’t understand why it hurts. It’s not that I need lubricant or anything in that department, it’s just my vagina feels like it closes up every time I have sex again. I hate it a lot and I don’t know why it is doing this. It hurts the most when he first puts it in, I don’t know why. I love the guy I’m with and I’m happy with him were even getting married but honestly I don’t know how much more of this I can take before I’m like I don’t want sex anymore :(

  116. Michelle says:

    Dr. Lissa,

    I was hoping you could help. I am 18 and I’ve been with my one boyfriend for almost two years and I’ve been sexually active with him for more then a year. Whenever we start it hurts, wet or not. And then it might go away for a minute but when the pain comes back it’s so sharp and it hurts so bad that I just want to cry and often do after we stop. When we are done the pain goes away almost instantly. What could the reason for this be?

    Thank you


  117. Georgie says:

    Why does it always hurt when my boyfriend penetrates me? Neither of us are virgins, and Im always well lubricated in that area. We do it quite often and I still dont see why it hurts?

  118. Katie says:

    Hi I’m Katie and I’m 16 I had sex with my bf for the first time an it hurt and the net weekend when I went over after not having sex for a week it hurt just as bad and he says it pleasurable for him and I want it to be the same for me but every time he enters it hurts… Alot I have bled a little but not alot I want it to be pleasurable please help

  119. lindsay says:

    my girlfriend is 58 and doesn't lubricate a lot and she says it hurts when I enter her she told me that she hasn't had sex for about 15 years can you help me she said to me that I was big in penus size but im only about 5 and half inches long and I thought that was about average or small

  120. kammi conn says:

    I have been with the same guy for almost a year, we are very serious. and we have sex once or twice a week. every time we have sex I start hurting and it gets to the point where it’s very uncomfortable. I feel dry but when I check I’m not at all, but there’s this part on the bottom that gets raw. I can tell where it’s at because after sex when I use the bathroom and wipe it’s hurts there like I’ve been scratched. I know it’s not a std but I don’t know what else it could be. any help?

  121. Julia says:

    My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years and we have pretty regular sex, but after every time my vagina feels like it is on fire, it hurts so much. I don't think it is because of size or anything since we are both average. please help me!!!!

  122. Bella says:

    i’ve been sexually active for about half a year now. I’ve only ever been with one guy and he’s not huge or anything like that. When we had sex for the first time he said I bled but I didn’t feel anything. Then the next few times i started getting this awful stabbing pain in my right side, sort of around my hip. That stopped us from being able to have deeply penetrating sex for a while, until he went and talked to someone and he told me to focus more on the wayi arch my back or hold my hips. But now all of a sudden I’m getting this pain again, I’m focusing on the way I position myself, we always do alot of foreplay, we’re totally comfortable with eachother, and I’m always very aroused by the time we get to sex. The pain isn’t so bad this time (it doesn’t make me scream anymore) but it’s just there and limiting what I can do. I can’t see any reason for it. I’m healthy and happy and I look after my self. I am in a relationship where we communicate really well and we speak up when something is or isn’t arousing. Can anybody tell me what might be causing this problem for me at the moment?

  123. Amanda says:

    I have been married for almost 4 years, but still find sex painful. I am told by my husband that I do have orgasms down there, but I don't feel it. I do get burning sensations down there at times, but neither of us have any STD's. I just jokingly tell him I am allergic to him. I don't think that is to far from the truth. Any advice? I did talk to my doc and they were dumbfounded. That was about 1-3 yrs ago.

  124. Ashley says:

    Me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year and a half and we have sex very regularly. To this day it still hurts, more after than during. Sex just isn't enjoyable for me. When he puts it in it hurts right away, almost like I have a cut on the bottom of the vaginal opening. We have tried taking a break for about a month but it didn't help. I am usually fully lubricated and aroused but that doesn't seem to help either. It has gotten to the point that I am just having sex for him, not because I want it. I just want sex to be as enjoyable for me like it is for him. Every time it either feels like nothing or it hurts. We have tried using astroglide but it just burns and irritates my skin. And when we do have sex it always hurts like my left wall of my vagina, either during sex, after sex, or both. The pain after sex usually lasts for about two days. He's not extremely big either, I would say that he is average. Can you please please help me. I feel like if sex doesn't get better we are going to break it off. I can't keep dealing with the pain and miserable sex. Sometimes I think that it's him, so then I start to think about sex with other guys. But then again i'm not sure if it's me. Please help!!!!!!!

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