Overheard: Arfken, Dog Wizard

By John

Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!

(Two guys, talking next to a weight bench.)

Guy 1: We skied a whole bunch last winter. Do you partake?
Guy 2: Yeah, sometimes. You’re talking about cocaine, right?

(Guy, on the phone. Sounds like he’s getting through a breakup.)

Guy: Thanks for talking about this with me. It’s really hard to talk about sometimes.

(beat)

Hey, well, we’re both single now, right?

(beat)

Well, that was kinda rude.

(Girl, walking a dog in the park, meets a guy.)

Guy: Hey, I like your dog.

Girl: Thanks. He’s Arfken, dog wizard.

(A guy walks through a movie theater row and sits down)

Guy: (whispering loudly) Oh, geez, sorry, I think I knocked your Raisinets over.

Gir: (whispering) That’s fine. Your hair’s covered in nacho cheese.

(Guy, yelling, at a party.)

Guy: And he was like “my grandma just died!” Well, f*** it, I loved my cat twice as much as he loved his stupid grandma!

(Girl, lying over in a restuarant booth.)

Girl 1: My head feels fuzzy. Everything’s fading… the nothingness is all around me.

Girl 2: Shut up. You just ate a cheeseburger.

(Girl and guy walking on a busy main street.)

Guy: Wait, she slept with them?

Girl: Yeah. She’s cheating on us.

Guy: Well, I think we’re breaking up with her. You and me both.

(Two guys, sitting outside the mall on a bench.)

Guy 1: What do you think the world would be like if the oceans were filled with Coca-Cola?

Guy 2: I think it’d probably be about the same.

(In a late-night diner, one girl gets up from her booth.)

Girl: *bends down on one knee* Be mine, Carrie.

Other Girl: It’s a Ring Pop.

Girl: Just like my love for you.