Shopping for Sex Toys 101

July 27, 2009 4:00 pm     Posted in Relationships, Sex  Ness g+ page

Sex-toys


By Ness

We’ve heard it all our lives: diamonds are a girl’s best friend.

While I agree that diamonds are fun and sparkly and pretty, most of them can’t give you an orgasm (unless that rock is HUGE). And I think every girl’s best friend should be able to do that. Therefore, I’m going to disagree with Ms. Monroe on this one and argue that my vibrator is my best friend, and is probably the best friend any of us could hope for.

Not gonna lie, I’ve always been a big fan of masturbation. I’ve been doing it since I was fairly young, and have always believed that it’s a healthy thing to do.

I spent most of my formative years manually stimulating myself, but counted down the days until I turned 18 and was finally able to buy my first vibrator. (What? It’s healthier than counting down to buying cancer sticks!) Once my long-awaited birthday finally arrived, though, I realized that I had no idea what to look for. There were hundreds of different kinds – waterproof, G-spot, realistic, dildo, vibrator, with testicles (who really wants that?), ones that you can stick to the wall, and the list goes on.

I had always prided myself with being fairly knowledgeable about all things sex (which I accredit mostly from watching Talk Sex with Sue religiously since 6th grade), but sorting through the oodles of synthetic phalluses to find something that would make me scream like a banshee seemed somewhat daunting.

And my first trip to the sex shop didn’t help.

Standing there, surrounded by rubber (or silicone or latex or glass) dongs, made me feel a little uncomfortable. Especially considering I was there with a friend and her super liberal mom.  I started poking around (no pun intended) the goodies awkwardly.  After passing things like this, I realized that people came in here for much kinkier things than I did and instantly became much more comfortable. Twenty minutes later, I found my perfect toy (good size but not ridiculously large, curved in all the right places, and had 10 speeds) and left there a happy little lady.

I’ve since been to a few sex shops, mostly just to look (although, I did pick up a few more toys here and there) and while I don’t think I am in any way a pro, I do feel I have collected a few tips that some ladies might find helpful when purchasing their first sex toy.

Which, I can’t say enough, is something every. single. woman. must do.

Look online first. Checking out sites like this will help you get a better idea of what’s out there and what to look for. I found that being able to browse the penis catalogue online made me feel much more comfortable than being shocked at the freaky shiz I was going to find in the store.

Become familiar with the different types. As I mentioned before, there are many, many, many types of sex toys. What you want to buy is all about how you plan on using it. Solo? You may be looking for a vibrator or dildo. Using it with a partner? You may be looking for something more like a pocket-rocket or other toys for two. Assess your personal situation so you aren’t overwhelmed when it’s finally time to buy.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You should never be ashamed to ask questions. After all, if someone is working in a sex shop, chances are, they’ve heard freakier questions before. Plus, they want to help you, so suck it up and get some guidance. They know their stuff and can help you find the perfect toy for your needs.

Have Fun! While going into an adult shop for the first time can be a little nerve wracking, just remember to have fun. There is nothing the people in those stores haven’t seen, so there’s no need to feel self-conscious about your purchase. Bring a close friend or your partner with you if that will ease your nerves, and remember that it’s okay to laugh at the 2 foot long dong hanging in the corner. It’s also OK to buy one…

38 Comments on "Shopping for Sex Toys 101"

  1. lala says:
    Mon, 27th Jul 200911:30 am 

    YAY!

    i really enjoyed your article, after all masturbation is still a tabu……even if everybody claims to be sooooo open -minded

  2. shari says:
    Mon, 27th Jul 200911:49 am 

    love this article! female masterbation is a subject that should be talked about more! and sex shops really aren't as scary as everyone might think!

  3. Linda says:
    Mon, 27th Jul 200912:03 pm 

    Random .. but I've been considering buying an "OhMiBod" for my iPod for a while .. anyone heard of it/have one ?

  4. Kelly says:
    Mon, 27th Jul 20092:33 pm 

    Make sure you don't go into some sketchy shop, though. Shop places like Babeland and Good Vibrations, and make sure everything you buy is phalate free. Avoid the cheap products, they may not be safe, and could give you a nasty rash. Sadly, that's the type of product most of the sketchy stores sell. Also, GV and Babeland are run by women, and have a sex-positive environment, so you won't feel skeeved out.

  5. TJ says:
    Mon, 27th Jul 20094:31 pm 

    I agree with the above commenter, make sure you know what you are shopping for. Many products out there are unsafe and some even harmful to your health. Here is a great article on buying safe toys: http://www.tinynibbles.com/unsafe

  6. X says:
    Mon, 27th Jul 20097:05 pm 

    I've been dying for an OhMiBod, but until I can afford one, I settled for the lipstick-shaped vibrator (less than 20$) and it's GREAT. I still can't tell my friends I have one or even masturbate though, because none of them are too keen on the idea and are totally weirded out by sex shops.

  7. Abby says:
    Mon, 27th Jul 20098:44 pm 

    Thanks for writing this article!! I recently just made my first trip to an, ahem, adult store, and am VERY satisfied with my purchase. :) Good idea about browsing on-line too, thats what I did and it really helped me to know what I wanted going in to the store. I'm at home for the summer, so ordering on-line wasn't an option – that's the last thing I need my mom to ask, "what's in the box, dear?"

    haha

  8. Vivian says:
    Tue, 28th Jul 20092:31 am 

    What about butt plugs? Are those any good?

  9. Erin says:
    Tue, 28th Jul 20099:33 am 

    Babeland is by far my most favorite place to shop, plus besides their great selection of toys they have an even more awesome collection of condoms. Also some tips on buying toys, if the toys smell like chemicals, they are filled with chemicals that you don't want to be in your body, pick toys that can be recycled like glass, wood, metal, all of them heat up to your body temp and can be thrown away, all though they cost more, isn't it an investment in fun and the earth? When you first start out you should try something small like a vibrator, after a few months you can move up to the bigger stuff because you don't want to be overwhelmed.

  10. Sam says:
    Tue, 28th Jul 200912:15 pm 

    I order from adamandeve.com. I bought an amazing rabbit, that almost rivals my boyfriend. haha I highly recommend them though.

  11. Casey says:
    Mon, 3rd Aug 20091:48 pm 

    I can't condone this article, I feel like it's sending the message to young women that sex before marriage is something to be encouraged.

    Whether it's a dildo, plug, or whatever, sex before marriage can leave lasting scars on a young woman that remain for the duration of her life. One of which is that she won't be able to spend her first time with the man that she loves, but rather a jelly vibrator called the Nightryder. Furthermore, I have evidence that profits from sex toy sales go straight to Al Qaeda and the Iraqis.

  12. Jess says:
    Mon, 3rd Aug 20095:19 pm 

    "Furthermore, I have evidence that profits from sex toy sales go straight to Al Qaeda and the Iraqis."

    Hahahaha

  13. Rachel says:
    Mon, 3rd Aug 20095:44 pm 

    I hope you're joking, Casey. It makes no sense that profits from sex toys go straight to AL QAEDA, a group comprised of muslim radicalists who barely condone women leaving their own home with their husbands promise (not to mention in tow). A group that conservative in their views would not sell sex toys.

  14. Casey says:
    Mon, 3rd Aug 20099:22 pm 

    Jess, please respect my opinions and I'll respect yours.

    Rachel, I am not going to explain myself to you as you have no real interest in having a discussion and only want to portray me as a right wing lune. The facts are out there if anyone wants to learn more about this industry and it infuriates me that there are those that would (in a completely biased and partisan manner) dismiss the facts in their liberal mindset.

  15. Brad Wellen says:
    Tue, 4th Aug 20095:02 am 

    My guess is that any girl who is down for the sex toys cause is gonna be a real sparkplug between the sheets. Here's some advice on how to handle a wildcat: http://www.precioustimeny.com/blog/?p=3157.

  16. Rachel says:
    Tue, 4th Aug 20095:49 pm 

    Casey- I wasn't dismissing facts. I'm just saying that it doesn't make sense that Al Qaeda would sell sex toys. If you could, would you please provide your evidence (and not wikipedia!).

    Also, you have been guilty of dimissing facts in your conservative mindset, so please don't make such hypocritical comments

  17. Casey says:
    Tue, 4th Aug 20098:41 pm 

    Oh and to your last comment, I never make claims that I can't back up and if I happen to I always apologize for wrong information.

  18. Casey says:
    Wed, 5th Aug 20091:39 am 

    Ok the “Casey” that posted about Al Qaeda is the same troll that has been posting pretending to be me for about a week now. Do you really think anyone is that dumb to suggest something like that that isn’t a troll? Come on now.

  19. Amy says:
    Wed, 5th Aug 200911:21 am 

    Seriously, the imitating Casey thing is getting kinda old. The first couple were funny, hilarious even, but now it’s just getting obnoxious and hard to weed out the trolls from actual posters.

  20. IKnowItAll says:
    Wed, 5th Aug 20095:14 pm 

    I think you must have been sexually molested as a child. You are barely legal and want to show the world you are the leading authority on all things vaginal. I can't wait for your How to Date Between STD Outbreaks article.

    I mean, really, you are in college in what you called a "real city", have you even raised your head out of a guy's lap to look around at the world? FFS, it's not cool or cutting edge or empowering, it's sad and demeaning and sets women back centuries.

  21. Kelly says:
    Wed, 5th Aug 20097:56 pm 

    If you have never used a sex toy you dont know what you are missing.There are so many vibrators on the market today its easy to find one thats right for you.
    http://www.sexytoyproducts.com

  22. Hailey says:
    Thu, 6th Aug 20093:41 pm 

    taking charge of your body (and enjoying it ;) ) does not set women back at all. It's mindsets like yours (Iknowitall) that are setting women back.

    Keep up the great articles, Ness.

  23. Adam says:
    Sun, 9th Aug 20098:21 pm 

    Lolz at IKnowItAll. If you did know it all, why dont you know you're a fag?

  24. brenda says:
    Thu, 13th Aug 20098:38 am 

    @ the closed minded Casey, you must know what the Nightryder is, especially if you picked that one yourself :) . @iknowitall, thats really sad that you accuse something as horrible as child molestation to someone! youre why people are still hiding in their homes afraid to walk out of their house. and finally, someone talks about how healthy masturbation is!!! thanks for that! and does anyone know how safe vibrators are from Adam and Eve??

  25. shopcu says:
    Tue, 18th Aug 200912:59 am 

    sex shop seks shop seksshop sexshop http://www.romantikshop.com

  26. Dagny says:
    Wed, 26th Aug 20095:25 am 

    Casey, Using a vibrator I'm sure is not going to scar a girl. You can't get pregnant or get STDs from sex toys, (unless you share it with somebody else) and it allows girls to explore their sexuality without the emotional and physical consequences of sex with another man. Although it is your choice to abstain for religious purposes, I don't think that we should abstain from pleasuring ourselves because somebody tells us that it's immoral. There are no harmful health effects that result from masturbation.

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    Fri, 18th Sep 20095:21 pm 

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    Fri, 25th Sep 20092:00 am 

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    Wed, 9th Dec 20097:38 pm 

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  31. marriage says:
    Mon, 25th Feb 20131:40 pm 

    While helping thousands of guys recharge their sex life, I noticed something very strange. Many guys approach their wives for sex, while completely ignoring her current mind state. For example, it seems like the most popular method of initiating sex is just flat out suggesting it.

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