6 Top Secret Facts About Women

July 30, 2009 5:00 pm     Posted in HaHa  Lauren - University of Michigan g+ page

Womean things


By Lauren

As a group, women do a really good job of hiding our less attractive qualities. We cover up our imperfections with makeup, we squeeze our “winter weight” into some Spanx, and we make our friends take our phones away so the guy we’re crushing on doesn’t know how crazy we really are.

And that is only scratching the surface.

Because men look at us like pretty, little, delicate flowers, there are so many things about women that most guys just do not know. Things that most women would be horrified to share and most men would be even more disgusted to know. But you know what? I don’t care. Women are people, too, and if guys can walk around scratching their balls, then we should be able to lay it all out there, too.

So in an effort to bridge the gap between the boys and the girls, I thought I’d let some dudes in on a few secrets we ladies have been keeping for.e.verrrr.

1. We fart. And sometimes, it’s loud. And if we’re trying to eat really healthy, it’s smelly.

2. We poop. We may even bring magazines or a laptop in there to pass the time. And if we’re really comfortable with someone, we’ll catch up on the phone. But always with a warning. We may be good at multitasking, but we aren’t inconsiderate a-holes.

3. We talk about farts and poop. And we laugh, because farts and poop are funny.

4. We don’t shower every day. We may argue that it’s bad for our skin or our hair looks better greasy, but sometimes we just don’t feel like showering. So we put on some deodorant and a few extra sprays of perfume and call it a day.

5. We like porn, too. Some of us like it more than others, and we probably don’t spend as much time watching it as dudes, but even ladies like watching a little nookie sometimes. Especially nookie involving a hot guy with chiseled abs, a tight butt and a rock hard glistening chest….

Oh, sorry. Got a little sidetracked there for a moment.

6. We can probably eat more than guys. Some ladies may stick to salads or half-portions of pasta when the guys are around, but bring us a cheese pizza and we can down that thing like it’s nobody’s business. And then we’ll follow it up with something chocolatey. Or fried. And not even break a sweat.

There you have it. All our secrets, right there on the table.
I feel so….free.

73 Comments on "6 Top Secret Facts About Women"

  1. Linda says:
    Thu, 30th Jul 20091:23 pm 

    Lol funny list ..

    "4. We don’t shower every day"

    'We'? Speak for yourself on that one…ew..that's gross.

  2. Leigh says:
    Thu, 30th Jul 20091:38 pm 

    I don't ALWAYS shower every day… Sometimes I'm just running so late that there isn't chance. It's fine to skip a day when you're really, ridiculously busy as it is, so long as you don't smell and you wash your face, apply deoderant, whatever. It's not so gross :o )

  3. Emily says:
    Thu, 30th Jul 20091:40 pm 

    uhhhh there is nothing wrong with skipping a day if you know how to handle hygiene to make up for it.

  4. Vicki says:
    Thu, 30th Jul 20093:02 pm 

    You can add burping to that. My sister goes it all the time, and I have to admit that it can get pretty annoying.

  5. Jenn says:
    Thu, 30th Jul 20094:06 pm 

    Yea, nothing gross about skipping a day if you HAVE GOOD HYGIENE. I never feel like I'm dirty enough to require a daily shower, and my hair feels much better when I wait, too.

  6. Rebekah says:
    Thu, 30th Jul 20094:45 pm 

    there is nothing wrong with not showering every day. if i'm staying at home and working around the house i don't take a shower. and i don't stink.

  7. J says:
    Thu, 30th Jul 20095:31 pm 

    I can fart on command, no joke.

  8. Casey says:
    Thu, 30th Jul 20096:51 pm 

    I agree, there's nothing wrong with skipping a day between showers. As long as you don't smell. I usually only do it if I got a shower the night before though. I can't stand being dirty. But I live in Florida so it's humid, and gross, so you really can't get away with it all the time.

    But girls (and guys for that matter) please, if you have to burp, or fart, go somewhere private. It's not becoming of either gender to just belch loudly in a public place. There's nothing wrong with either, they ARE bodily functions, but you don't shit or piss in the middle of a public area so please don't burp or fart either. And those ones that just squeak out, there's no controlling those.

    One of my good friends burps, loudly, all the time, and talks about taking shits and her period constantly, then she'll tell me a story about how she'll announce she's gonna take a shit to the guy she's talking to and all his friends while she's at his house and wonders why he ended their fling. I think there may be a connection.

    Yes, girls do all of these things, but they don't HAVE to do them in public, and guys you don't either.

  9. Sasha says:
    Thu, 30th Jul 20097:20 pm 

    Girls don't watch porn. I don't believe it.

  10. Teresa says:
    Fri, 31st Jul 20099:59 am 

    Dude, I DEFINITELY don't shower every day.

    There is nothing wrong about saving on hair products, bath and body, and water bills.

  11. Heather says:
    Fri, 31st Jul 20099:54 pm 

    Believe it, Sasha. LoL.

  12. mariagrafs says:
    Sat, 1st Aug 20096:56 am 

    we laugh, because farts and poop are funny agreed to this as this is the birth right of women. What say?
    http://www.hindlist.com

  13. Jenna says:
    Sat, 1st Aug 20098:04 am 

    I agree with Casey. I do like to maintain my civility when it comes to bodily functions. A little openness is okay, but there's a limit. For example, I've been in a relationship for several years, and I still don't share my bodily functions openly; a little mystery is good for a relationship.

    I oftentimes skip showers because I'm lazy, but it really does help your hair, too. Even if I shower every day, I'll skip shampooing sometimes and just rinse and condition.

  14. professorx619 says:
    Sat, 1st Aug 200911:58 am 

    *yawn* .. isn't this a recreation of the 9284798237 other 'secrets girls want you to know' and milliards of other lists out there?

  15. samantha says:
    Sat, 1st Aug 20097:37 pm 

    as i read this i am in the bathroom with my black macbook…LOL.

  16. Stephanie says:
    Sat, 1st Aug 20099:40 pm 

    ok # 4 & 6 dont apply! I shower EVERYDAY i just feel gross if i dont… and if i ate like my bf id be HUGE! haha…and OH Yeah I can burb LOUD hahaha….my bf swears he'll hear it one day but til that day comes im not letting him ;]

  17. Straight Guy says:
    Mon, 3rd Aug 20096:32 am 

    No wonder so many of you are fat. Stick to the salads and the water and go to the gym.

    And shower EVERY DAY, if not three or four times a day.

  18. Casey says:
    Mon, 3rd Aug 20091:06 pm 

    I'm sorry that people disagree with me (there are those that think gays should enjoy the same privileges as heterosexuals, again, we don't see eye to eye), but you just can't fart in public. Please, be ruled by everyone's expectations.

  19. Nina says:
    Mon, 3rd Aug 20091:33 pm 

    I go days without showering…usually 2, but no more than 3. I'm not dirty, and I just put on deodorant. But if I showered every single day, my skin would be horrible. No, not just an excuse, but the honest truth. It gets way too dried out and it's just bad.

    I burp too, a lot. Especially around my boyfriend, he doesn't like it, but I keep my mouth closed and say "Excuse me" and I won't do it in a public place.

  20. Hotty says:
    Tue, 4th Aug 20091:02 am 

    If i showered everyday my hair would be wet ALL the time……i dont have to time to spend blow drying it and it would feel like crap if i did blow dry it everyday……so to Straightguy, you go shower everyday, you must have some serious b.o. problems if you think showering daily is so important. Prick

  21. Brad Wellen says:
    Tue, 4th Aug 20095:04 am 

    Here's a secret, plenty of women (and some men too) make crazy, freaky sounds in the sack, see how to prevent this from ruining your relationship at http://www.precioustimeny.com/blog/?p=3157.

  22. Kiera says:
    Tue, 4th Aug 20091:14 pm 

    I agree with EVERY THING, accept number 2. I never bring my laptop into the bathroom or talk on the phone. And if i were ever talking to some one on the phone while i was pooping, i'd feel bad for them to listen!!! :)

  23. Anna says:
    Tue, 4th Aug 20092:44 pm 

    @ straightguy…obesity is higher in men than in women, dumbass.

  24. S says:
    Tue, 4th Aug 20097:05 pm 

    Guilty as charged

  25. Danielle Cotton says:
    Wed, 5th Aug 20091:43 pm 

    Fantastic Post!!!! I will be sharing this link with my men customers!

    Thanks!

    Danielle Cotton
    http://www.paromanceparties.com

  26. Sydney says:
    Wed, 5th Aug 20098:46 pm 

    HA I just farted….hehehe.

  27. Dannia- Loyola Unive says:
    Thu, 6th Aug 20096:27 am 

    I love number 6…I eat roughly 4 dinners a day. And salad is never involved, haha.

  28. alyssachristine says:
    Thu, 6th Aug 200910:36 am 

    i hate straight guy. just throwing that out there

  29. Straight Guy says:
    Thu, 6th Aug 200912:23 pm 

    Would all of you who 'hate' me like to throw out their Facebook profiles and weight, so we can REALLY see where that hate is going.

    Tip 1: It's called a treadmill. Use it.

    Tip 2: If you aren't showering every day, it means you AREN'T working out every day. Which means you're probably FAT.

    The gym is a wonderful place fatso.

  30. Hailey says:
    Thu, 6th Aug 20092:45 pm 

    deal with your sexuality issues elsewhere, straight guy

  31. Hailey says:
    Thu, 6th Aug 20092:46 pm 

    (i dont mean that in any hateful way, orientation doesn't matter…but the fact that you are so frusterated with confident beautiful girls says that you are dealing with some issues of your own.)

  32. Sue says:
    Fri, 7th Aug 20098:56 am 

    This was a great post! I must agree that No, I don't shower everyday especially on days when I never go outside or just do light house cleaning and computer work all day.

    That doesn't mean that you're fat! Seriously how old are you? You dont need to work out everyday…bull crap. I am proud to say that I am a 20 yo 5'4 lady and a happy 114lbs who never works out!

  33. Hailey says:
    Fri, 7th Aug 20092:33 pm 

    yeah, and working out every day won't do anything if you don't give your muscles time to rest and rebuild.

  34. tammie says:
    Sat, 8th Aug 20096:31 am 

    I love how "Straight"Guy is on a website called College Candy that caters to women.

    I agree with Hailey, dude. Go put on some Streisand and take a bubblebath. You'll feel better.

  35. Kayci says:
    Sun, 9th Aug 20095:42 am 

    Straight guy is stupid… Showering everday has nothing to do with whether you're fat or not. I can do an entire workout and not break a sweat… But I still take a shower cause my skin gets dirty easily

  36. K says:
    Sun, 9th Aug 20099:41 am 

    lol tip 1

    if you are a "straightguy" on CC everyday…you probably ARENT getting laid and dare i speculate, you are also a huge tool (not huge that way either). just sayin

  37. RIKO says:
    Sun, 9th Aug 20095:55 pm 

    Hey i don't shower everyday if i'm just staying home. but to those of you saying you don't shower because you don't want to get your hair wet, that's not an excuse. it's called a shower cap, use it.

  38. Hailey says:
    Sun, 9th Aug 20098:41 pm 

    using the word "fatso" as an insult indicates an agerange anywhere between…oh, let's say 5-12. I hope you asked your parents before using the internet!

  39. Shelly says:
    Sun, 9th Aug 20099:41 pm 

    I don't agree with number 2. (haha). Yes, we poop but I have NEVER talked to a friend on the phone while doing it!! And I also don't agree with number 3 either. I used to do number 4, but I like showers now :)

  40. areli says:
    Mon, 10th Aug 20096:57 am 

    straight guy girls can eat a lot and not be fat. i eat a lot and i weigh 104pounds

  41. Munchkin says:
    Wed, 12th Aug 20098:37 am 

    Haha. We don't shower everyday. I hate to admit that, but it's true.

    6- So true. My friends and I eat more than most guys I know.

  42. harith says:
    Sat, 22nd Aug 20092:54 am 

    Now i know you all women what you think and what you show..? Hope my GF does not see my comment.
    http://www.hindlist.com

  43. matt says:
    Mon, 24th Aug 20094:37 pm 

    Wow. What a groundbreaking article. I am so shocked and disgusted women have bodily functions and like sex.

    How do article slike this even get posted in the first place?

  44. rocky racoon says:
    Sun, 30th Aug 20095:13 pm 

    fart ????? what about belching??? picking your nose????

  45. Amelia says:
    Mon, 31st Aug 20094:34 am 

    @ rocky racoon: Oh yeah. Picking your nose. Guilty. Guilty of most, by the way, except for being on the phone while pooping or reading while pooping (it feels weird). Oh, and except for being able to eat that much. I kinda involuntarily throw up when I eat too much.

  46. Liselle says:
    Mon, 31st Aug 20097:35 pm 

    I'm there with the not showering everyday. You just spritz on some body spray and deodorant and no one's the wiser. Especially for people that have dry hair because it doesn't get oily.

  47. Bruce says:
    Tue, 1st Sep 200911:05 am 

    Hello Ladies! I don't mind any of those things. They are all perfectly normal. I love you just the way you are ladies. :) Don't ever change. This site is for college women. I'm a man who never went to college. Is it okay if I hang out with you ladies? I'm not creepy and I promise to be a good boy. ;)

  48. eve says:
    Mon, 12th Oct 20098:47 am 

    ok straight guy don t know u but hate u 4 what u said bout girls.Facebook:Eve Ndanse

  49. eve says:
    Mon, 12th Oct 20098:50 am 

    Actually forget my facebook,this is stupid.Ur shallow.

  50. Jessssssizzle says:
    Thu, 22nd Oct 20094:13 pm 

    HAAA Dumbbb asss. To straight guy(who we all assume is a fag,queer, gay etc.) STFU.. Yeah hit me up asswipe on myspace.com/liveyourlife_love. BITCH i dont shower every damn day. Were human beings. OH no I didn't use soap and water wtf is gonna happen? Nothing. Big whooopiiee doo daahh daay! I do all of that shit she said and to those prissy ass bitches lying, it's annoying. We're fucking mammals dipshits. It was a nice post and made a shit ton of sense. The only difference about girls and guys is the fact girls are respectful to not do this infront of everyone.
    :)

  51. bob smith says:
    Fri, 20th Nov 200911:07 am 

    I always knew that most American women (bitches) where disgusting worthless fat nasty stupid hyppocritical slobs ! NEVER marry those filthy smelly cunts

  52. Dave says:
    Tue, 8th Dec 20097:16 pm 

    Most of these things are pretty much obvious for any guy who has lived around girls or had a girlfriend. Of course, when girls are around people they dont know or casual but not close friends, they keep most of these things under wraps. Guys vary in this department, but generally its the same idea. Im not going to fart and burp and pig out in front of a female, whether or not Im interested in her. Generally someone has to know me pretty well before Im completely at ease to say and do whatever around them, and even then I dont subject people to my smells.

  53. Veena says:
    Sat, 19th Dec 200911:08 pm 

    Why shuld they remain secrets.i fart a lot in morning and dont care my man hear.what say?

  54. fuck you bob smith says:
    Tue, 2nd Feb 20105:18 pm 

    Bob SMith is an asswipe – thats right fucker, you cant handle real women go back and lick the mustard off your shirt while you jerk off to the broads in a sears catalogue you fucking ugly pimp shit asshole. No women would dare get near your skanky ass (yes men can be nasty skanks) Like to see a pic of your ugly mug, would love to have it so I can wipe my dog's ass with it, you worthless piece of shit. p.s next time as mommy if you can use the computer, little boys should be in bed, not on the net being little shits. You are obviously sexually confused – kiss my perfect soft ass numbnuts

  55. RiGGs says:
    Thu, 18th Mar 20101:59 pm 

    Ahem, first and foremost, "faggot" is a discusting and hateful word to be used in a public forum. Second…and. Ironic enough, straight guy is what you call in eterms a "flamer" as in someone that posts jackass remarks to elicit an angry and/or pissy reaction out of others In the forum…don't get lured in.

  56.    &n says:
    Tue, 29th Jun 201012:55 pm 

    girls watch porn ? it cant be

  57. horlaide shoetan says:
    Sun, 8th Aug 201012:35 pm 

    how do you know guys that are truly in love with you?

  58. R. says:
    Wed, 18th Aug 20103:50 am 

    I can't speak for all guys but in my opinion i like a women in her comfort zone…ya know, hair just pulled back, no makeup, baggy sweatpants. And if she skips a shower once in awhile i don't see a problem because it's nice to cuddle with a girl that smells like a girl and not a perfume counter. As for burps/farts, long as you don't deliberately see how loud you can do it, it's np.

    As for the rude comments from a few on here…If this is how you act towards women in real life, you better invest in alot of hand lotion…your gonna need it.

  59. Hayley says:
    Mon, 27th Sep 20109:23 am 

    i <3 R (:

  60. Mark says:
    Sat, 16th Apr 201112:16 am 

    ‘Dont see a problem in the remarks I just feel girls should be more open to the men they date about themselves. And yes this is where American girls have a problem. I wonder how the men survive.

  61. Mac says:
    Fri, 1st Jul 20116:24 pm 

    I lyk this

  62. Lula says:
    Wed, 24th Aug 20117:45 pm 

    I am a 21 year old boy and I weight 260 pounds and I jerk every night :)

  63. XAVIER says:
    Wed, 28th Nov 201210:37 pm 

    I HAVE NO CHOICE THOSE "A "WOMEN ERRR JUST MI TYPE

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