Comments on: Three is Most Definitely a Crowd

By: Ellen

Ellen — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 02:14:47 +0000

I don't think any couples should be too offended by this article. As a (most of the time) single lady myself, I've had all of this happen to me. Ick. I've also been guilty of some of it, sadly enough. Sorry, friends whom I may have third-wheeled! It'll never happen again!

In my experience, the third-wheel feelings generally decrease the longer a couple is together. They feel more confidant in their relationship, and (maybe!) learn some manners about refraining from PDA most of the time– or they just no longer feel the need to express their affection in that way every, um, two minutes.

But the lovey-dovey, newly dating couples? I don't care if it's your best friend. Stay away! If you hang out with a couple that's just got together, especially if both don't have dating experience, prepare to be burned.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 21:52:16 +0000

Gwenivere and Jenny, good for you. Most of my friends are into heavy PDA in public (by heavy I mean they walk down the street either holding hands, hands in each other's back pockets or when they have to stand still kissing each other), which drives me nuts. My friends know when I'm not dating someone so they never ask but a few of them will judge me if I try and hit on another guy while with them. I get one of the two either "But why are you hitting on him? Do you have to go over there? I came out to hang out with you!" Or "Hey you see that guy over there? You want us to help you hook up with him? It'll be fun!" This is why I adamently refuse to do third wheel events. They just flat out suck.

By: Liam

Liam — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 01:47:22 +0000

No one likes being a 3rd wheele! It's awkward! You either feel like you're crashing on someone's date or you're cockblocking! It seriously makes you feel lonely, and in sometimes, a loser!

By: maggie

maggie — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 00:21:40 +0000

i COMPLETELY agree that third-wheeling (and fifth- and seventh-wheeling) sucks!! yes, i *have* actually been the only single person among seven. NOT fun.

to Gwenivere and Jenny, i'm sure you guys have been in situations when a third person is no biggie—but as someone who always seems to be on the out, it is almost never fun. sure, at first everything is great (i do willingly go out with my coupled friends after all) but at one point or another, you're on the outside. and it's lonely.

true, couples i'm with rarely do anything mentioned in the article (except PDA…ugh). but the feeling of being left out is ALWAYS there…

By: Jenny

Jenny — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 00:12:21 +0000

I agree with Gwenivere. I live with my boyfriend and my best friend, who is single, and I know for a fact that she would have opted not to live with us if she thought she'd be the third wheel all the time. If anything, I feel bad for my boyfriend sometimes when my bff and I talk clothes and makeup. We've also forced him to get into Desperate Housewives with us…

Honestly, I think the things that you mentioned in your article don't just apply when a couple is out with a single person, but with any group of people. Asking someone about their dating life before they mention it themselves is quite rude. Too much PDA is also rude, whether you're out with one other person or 10 other people. Judging someone for meeting someone new is downright disrespectful, no matter who is doing the judging (besides, isn't meeting new people supposed to be a good thing?).

Sure, three can be a crowd if you're out with a disrespectful couple, or if you're a Negative Nancy about the situation. But to me, three's a party, and I don't know anyone who's not up for a good time.

By: Gwenivere

Gwenivere — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 23:23:04 +0000

My boyfriend and I have been together for five years and don't do any of those things you have mentioned above when we go out with our single friends.

We would never ask our friend rudely if they were dating someone. 1. If they wanted us to know THEY would tell us and 2. asking would be a rude way to remind them that they are single.

I don't understand your comment about couples not wanting their single friend to flirt and hook up with anyone when they go out. If anything we WANT them to find someone to have fun with. Plus, maybe that person they meet could be a potential cool new friend.

My boyfriend and I NEVER do gross PDA. The most we do when we go out is maybe a hand on a thigh if we are sitting at a table or a quick peck on the lips (very rare) PDA is just wrong on every level. No one wants to see that nor should they have to.

Why would someone need to ask if the other person is having fun? You can always tell if someone is having a good time.

Maybe we are just different than most couples, but most of our friends who are in relationships are pretty similar to us. Maybe your just hanging around the wrong people.