Celebretard Showdown: Mischa Barton vs. Tara Reid

mischa drunk-tara-reid

There are a lot of celebrities out there that simply disappear, whether it be voluntarily or due to lack of talent/rehab/Bermuda triangle.  There are a couple that have massive amounts of issues, yet refuse to disappear.  In fact, they seem to pop up everywhere, strutting around uninvited on every red carpet.  People like Bai Ling and Paris Hilton are prime examples.

More recently, we have Mischa Barton.  I gotta admit, I really do enjoy watching a mediocre TV actress fall from grace (and she fell hard!).  Oh, speaking of mediocre actresses, I think I heard the other day that Tara Reid has teamed up with the douchebag powerhouse that is Christian Audigier to design some piece of crap that I’ll certainly see all around campus.  Yay.

In light of that wonderful piece of news, I think it’s time to pair up a couple of the most washed up faces in Hollywood:  Mischa Barton and Tara Reid.

Mischa Barton was never a steller actress, let’s not lie.  She peaked in The Sixth Sense as the creepy ghost girl who barfed a lot.  The OC was a shambles, especially when she became a drug addict or whatever and then died randomly in the third season.  Has anyone seen Mischa in anything since then?  Not unless you caught one of her straight-to-DVD releases.  Yeesh.

Tara Reid is not a great actress by any means.  I did enjoy her run in American Pie (1 and 2) and the episodes of Scrubs that she appeared in were hilarious.  However, whenever I watch her in anything else, all that comes to mind is the word “sticky.”  She just looks sticky and sweaty and drunk at all times…probably because she’s always at least one of those things (I’m voting for drunk).  See: Taradise.

Point: Mischa Barton. In the realm of acting, Mischa Barton is a fail.  At least Tara Reid’s slew of vapid, slutty characters are entertaining.

Mischa Barton wears some pretty awesome stuff.  I’ve actually opened up the style section of a magazine and seen her there (the good part of the style section, not the losers section).  She takes chances and it pays off.  Not always, though…we’ve had some pretty awful situations involving vintage items, mini dresses and feathers.  Her foray into headbands has also gotten pretty interesting…

Tara Reid has no style.  Her “style,” as it were, consists of crop tops, glittery things, and denim mini skirts.  I certainly won’t be forgetting the exposed boob incident for a while.  She also seems to be anti-bra, even after her boob job.

Point: Tara Reid. It’s no contest, really.

Mischa Barton has been pretty unclassy lately, what with her boozin’ and partyin’.  At least she checked into rehab (finally!) after one too many shots of her looking like a certifiably crazy person with a really puffy face.  Oh, and let’s not forget her 2007 arrest for drunk driving (without a license).  Classy, girl.

Tara Reid just oozes class skankiness.  That girl is an a bikini 90% of the time, swigging something from a bottle (but not eating…never eating).  She’s done her time in rehab, but her reputation as a boozehound isn’t leaving her anytime soon.  See again: Taradise.

Point: Tara Reid.
Not classy.  Anti-classy.

Love Life
Mischa Barton dates musicians.  Seriously – if you’re in an indie rock band and are based somewhere in the UK, you probably have a pretty good chance of getting with Mischa Barton (lucky you).  That is, when she gets out of rehab.

Tara Reid has dated every football player ever (only a slight exaggeration) and a generous sprinkling of other men have decorated her arm over the years.  I guess guys really do go for those party-girl types.  I’m gonna go get my drink on and test this theory out…

Point: Tara Reid. Maybe if she worked more and spent less time romping around random beaches she’d be less of a whore.  Maybe.

Gossip Presence
Mischa Barton has been huge in the gossip columns lately: is she suicidal? Will she still have a role on the new CW show after her stint in rehab?  Where is she getting all of these headbands?  Very important stuff.

Tara Reid really isn’t doing much of anything and it shows:  she isn’t in any gossip column.  When she does appear, it’s mostly following comments that are surprised to find she still exists (but not at all surprised that she’s sloppy and drunk and…sticky).

Point: Mischa Barton. She is definitely being talked about, what with this whole rehab/new TV show thing going on.  Tara…only wishes she had something newsworthy about her.

Celebretard Prize Goes To: Tara Reid. Just bow out peacefully and go seclude yourself on some beach so you don’t accidentally brush up against anyone and rub off your fake tan/greasiness.



    1. Lauren - University says:

      Maybe these two should get a reality show together. I'd watch it. Although, I also watch Brooke Knows Best, so maybe I'm not the best person to ask.

    2. Casey says:

      I actually liked Tara Reid in "Just Visiting" With Christina Applegate and Jean Reno. And then she did a pretty good job as the slut daughter of the Shrink in "Cruel Intentions". I just realized I have weeeay too many movies with Tara Reid in them😦 And I'm not even a fan.

    3. anon says:

      hope you saw the response on jezebel.com to this article!

    4. anon says:

      This article would be funny if you took out all of the words and replaced them with other words. And if you had someone marginally funny write them.

    5. .. says:

      There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't support other women.

    6. Marisa says:

      A totally un-classy article talking about how un-classy two women are. Hypocrisy FTW!

    7. immature says:

      Woman or not, you're a misogynist pig, Katie.

    8. shruti says:

      this is a terrible article. you are just feeding into the media frenzy that brings down young startlets once they have passed their heyday, their hit show. the OC, although maybe not a great show, was very very popular. So was American Pie. Give these women some credit. It's hard to have that much fame and then be forgotten.

    9. Rose says:

      Haha, you think you can judge Tara or Mischas classiness when you're sitting on your ass, writing a hateful and idiotic article about people you've never even met. It seems like getting into a college doesn't even require having a brain anymore.

    10. Courtnay says:

      I find this article to be , unfortunately, another grasp of the idea of journalism. It seems that slut shaming , ” class “, and all together , the schadenfreude of the tone of the article signal to me the rise and acceptance of snark writing, as opposed to something with substance.
      And while I agree that celebrities are walking targets, and make decisions that are indeed mockable at times, I feel that the joy taken out of the writing of this article, as well as the echoing opinions, are evidence to the way we blame women ( i.e. slut shaming, cracks at mental stability , she’s so stupid, etc. ) as opposed to the society at large that feeds off the obsession of youth and beauty, and then when times up for such a celebrity, discards them, destroys them, and shames them .
      And all together, on a personal level, it shows the lack of character of the writer, if not the people who enjoy these types of breakdowns . Not bad people, probably quite enjoyable and good people with intelligent thoughts, this article’s examples withstanding , but people who have come to see it as the norm to laugh at others when they are down because of x, y, and z. In no way do I think reflect what most woman do or want for themselves at large, but I will say that I think we need to criticize the system behind them ( articles like these, gossip sites such as perez hilton, and unfortunate stereotypes that still exist ) and take into consideration how we ourselves throw stones in glass houses. What would the reaction be to the same young woman who wrote this article if she were the one in rehab ?

      For the young woman who wrote this article, I only wish she would focus her energy into something more positive like writing about Sonia Sotomayor or Regina Benjamin. Or perhaps women in her community who are doing something for the empowerment of women and the betterment for the communities around you. Otherwise, going to someplace to get a higher education is wasted on writing like this.

      In no way am I here to change minds, only to air my grievances. I saw this article linked on a website I read often and can’t help but be disappointed when I see good writing and talent ( something I only wish I possessed ) go to waste over something so tepid , so insignificant, something written with the intent to humor others through cruelty. And while the source of what is being mocked isn’t so close, I find it hard to believe that everyone who views this and takes a laugh , would find themselves hurt and shamed if such an article were written about them.

      Empathy , not sympathy , never did anyone wrong.

      1. Cat Jaftha says:

        Well said, Courtnay.

    11. anon says:

      not only is this bitchy and unnecessary, but it's a very poorly written article.

    12. alissa manchez says:

      I agree with most everything said, despite some of the meaner comments. Looking at other articles this writer has done, they are all the same sort of attack on pop culture and women celebrities. This isnt okay ! Why has this become acceptable to draw penis's on 16 year old pop stars face and gauging womens worth on the way they look , how much they weigh and who they date. I wanted to comment on this because I read the article on jezebel today, and I feel like if we all just cut back a little bit by not being crass or mean or tearing someone down, even if it is some ridiculous celebrity, we would be better people and feed less into the frenzy. and why arent male celebrities ever subject to these kinds of feelings ?

      Ms. Katie from University of Michigan , I ask you to put aside all the writing you have done and try and talk about pop culture in a less demeaning and harmful way.

      Thank you !

    13. born2.sparklee says:

      Misha and Tara, who?

    14. Jennifermclaren80@gm says:

      I certainly don't like them, not because they have problems but because their useless and seek to exploit themselves for promotion. However, i don't like your moralising misogyny either. Like Jezebel and of their readers have pointed out, you're nothing but a slut shamer.

    15. Claire says:

      Nothing's classier than crowing over other people's misery and misfortune, eh?

      With lines like "Maybe if she worked more and spent less time romping around random beaches she’d be less of a whore. Maybe" you lose any credibility you might have had. Since when did going to the beach a lot equate to prostituting oneself… and since when did prostituting oneself become something to criticize someone for? Ever thought that anyone who find themselves in that situation deserves our sympathy, not contempt, and certainly doesn't deserve to be used as a synonym for any kind of behaviour you perceive as negative? Perhaps you should think a little more before you write such shamefully misogynistic, lazy articles…

    16. molly says:

      Courtnay, did you use thesaurus.com to write your little tirade? "air my grievances" please.

      This is an article written weekly, it's always in this format and it's intended to be humorous…. And quite frankly, if celebrities do stupid shit, they are going to be criticized.

    17. Natalie says:

      I dont understand . So what if it's a weekly article ? Just b/c it is , doesnt mean its humorous, well written , or for something similar to what you just said , if someone does something out in the open, such as writing an article that might not be well received, they should be subject to criticism if people so disagree.

      Besides, misogyny, especially from women, sucks.

    18. […] Celebretard Showdown: Mischa Barton vs. Tara Reid There are a lot of celebrities out there that simply disappear, whether it be voluntarily or due to lack of […] […]

    19. Jesse says:

      What do they teach you at Michigan State University? To use cheap sexist slurs between bouts of superficial web browsing for 'news' about actresses? Your parents must be so proud. Enjoy your self-hating life.

    20. emily says:

      this article sucks because misha just got out of rehab, and its messed up to critisize her immediately after that. give her some time to fix herself or crash and burn and then make fun of her. its too soon right now.

      that being said, if it wasn't too soon, the article would be funny. its a JOKE people. i cant read jezebel bc all of the commenters are these horrible shrew sounding women who just piss me off. The article may be a little offensive, but if you learned how to take a joke, you could laugh at it instead of freaking out over it.

      im drunk so i hope this made some sort of sense.

    21. b. says:

      what about this is newsworthy?

    22. […] I certainly won’t be forgetting the exposed boob incident for a while. She also seems to be anti-bra, even after her boob job. Point: Tara Reid. It’s no contest, really. (Un)classiness. Mischa Barton has been pretty unclassy lately, …The whole article at College Candy […]

    23. […] Reid: I think I recently saw a shriveled up, pruney version of once-sex kitten Tara Reid on a gossip magazine a year ago. And she was wearing a belly chain. Her last seven flicks have gone […]

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