The Perfect Man…Or Is He?

July 31, 2009 5:00 pm     Posted in Relationships  Noa - CU Boulder g+ page

the_perfect_manWhen I first heard that Joe Jonas couldn’t keep it together post break up with girlfriend Camille Belle and sobbed on stage during a show, I thought it was adorbs. A guy who is in touch with his emotions and willing to let it all out in front of 25,000 people? Be still my heart.


By Noa

But then I started to wonder if weepy boyf is really all that appealing. Or if any of the qualities we look for in guys are really all that great in reality. We all want that perfect clean-cut, handsome, sensitive, funny and smart guy who dresses well and treats us like a princess. But why? If you’re “lucky” enough to find him, you’ll soon realize he can’t give you your happy ending after all.

The Dream: A nice clean-cut boy toy.
The Reality: Okay, so guys tend to be dirtier than women. And sometimes it can just be gross. Really gross. And what’s worse than having than a guy with crusty armpits on his shirts and a faint aroma of fart? Uh, how about a guy who takes longer to get ready than you, or one who douses himself in Axe so you can smell him 10 minutes before he shows up at your door? Or a guy who makes you look and feel like total crap on a Sunday when you’re too hungover to shower, so you take the day off?

The Dream: A guy who takes care of himself
The Reality: As many of us can attest, there isn’t much less attractive than a dude with random patches of hair on his back/shoulders/between his brows/in his nose. And no one can deny that running your hands over a smooth hair-free chest (with six-pack abs) feels amazing.  But when you’re getting a manicure with the girls, you don’t want to have to see your guy come in for his 2 hour body waxing appointment. Or deal with all. that. stubble when it starts to grow back. And have you ever interacted with bald balls? Yeah, I always wanted a guy to do a little trimmy trim down there too…until my guy did.

Take it from me: SCARY.

The Dream: A guy who focuses on his body
The Reality: Hot, muscley guy? Delish. But a health freak who makes you feel bad when you’re eating an entire pizza and he’s nibbling on a carrot between trips to the gym? Awful. No woman wants to be the hefty one in the relationship (“I’ll have the burger and fries and he’s going to have the fat free fro you…”), so maybe a guy with a little meat on his bones isn’t such a bad thing. At least you’ll have someone to split that tube of cookie dough with.

The Dream: A total romantic
The Reality: Candlelight dinners, red wine, walks on the beach…amazing right? No, nauseating. Once in a while a nice romantic evening is awesome (if followed by some hot ‘n’ heavy action, of course), but when a guy is too romantic, or too mushy gushy, it’s just annoying. The pet names, the food names, the cutesy voices…if you wanted all that, you could date your grandma. You want a guy who will make you smile…not hurl.

See? That perfect guy you’ve been waiting for isn’t lookin’ so hot now, is he? Maybe tha burly, hairy, manly man is the one you’ve really been looking for all along.

12 Comments on "The Perfect Man…Or Is He?"

  1. Erica says:
    Fri, 31st Jul 20097:09 pm 

    That is because you are fat. Your opinion doesn't matter.

  2. anonymn says:
    Fri, 31st Jul 20097:30 pm 

    ffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

  3. AGREED says:
    Sun, 2nd Aug 20097:43 am 

    I once dated a guy who permed his hair, used more facial products than I do, slathered himself in perfume, and wouldn't stop talking about his feelings. Everyone was jealous, but it was HORRIBLE. NEVER AGAIN!!

  4. Jen says:
    Mon, 3rd Aug 20095:40 am 

    For one my idea of a perfect is not any of that i mean yeah i love a guy with a great body dont get wrong however my idea of a perfect guy is a guy! not a clean cut metro sexual. I think a manly man is nice i mean yeah its gross once in awhile however WE ARE GROSS TOO! Just admit how many times have you skipped a shower because you dont feel good or just because you dont feel like doing anything today or how many times have you farted and competed with family or friends. One more thing and guys crying is not sexy! your guy is suppose to be that care taker and not the emotional baggage that is us girls!

  5. V says:
    Tue, 4th Aug 20091:40 am 

    It depends on the type of person you are too, if you're a girl who likes to yap about her feelings all day then you'll probably want a guy who does too. If you're more casual you probably don't want a guy who's super-primped. Ditto if you're a gym junkie.

    PS

    I can't believe there are girls out there who chose hairy balls when given the option. smooth = lickable.

  6. Sydney says:
    Wed, 5th Aug 20098:51 pm 

    I appreciate a guy who dresses nicely/fashionably. it shows he does care about the way he presents himself…but overboard can be scary. Imagine how many of us girls go overboard in their opinions though!

  7. Campus Socialite says:
    Wed, 5th Aug 20099:32 pm 

    Check out The Campus Socialites Top 10 Boy Superlatives…

    http://www.precioustimeny.com/blog/?p=2898

  8. Hello, Goodbye says:
    Sun, 9th Aug 20095:39 pm 

    AGREED!

    Never been into the prince charming type anyway… I like musicians, I like guys who look normal, and I don't see what's wrong with chest hair? Maybe I'm weird?

    I love good hair and big, dark eyes on guys, that he showers regularly and wears clean clothes. Nothing worse than a guy who behaves like a girl, so… just basic grooming, you know?

    As for being romantic… once in a while, awesome, sweet, etc. All the time, and it loses the surprise factor.

  9. Zara says:
    Fri, 11th Sep 20097:19 pm 

    I don't like any of these "dreams" in this article.

    I like a slightly rugged guy who has a little muscle, (big and muscley is too much for me! I'd go smoosh underneathe him if you know what I mean!)

    I find it charming when a guy watches what he eats and exercises, as I do too, but he doesn't have to be a gym-busting, health freak! And a nicely dressed guy is always welcomed, but sometimes when I go into stores like Express & I see the male workers there, they're almost TOO hott! I feel like I'm not worthy to gaze upon their essence! haha

    My point is, things in moderation are sexiest.

    What I find most attractive about guys is a good head of hair, a nice pair of lips and a funny & fun personality. Communication is EVERYTHING.

  10. Dev says:
    Sat, 31st Oct 20098:54 am 

    I like normal boy ,he look like a simple man no hair cut ,no body ,no rich

  11. Bama boy says:
    Tue, 9th Feb 20108:24 pm 

    Any guy who puts a razor anywhere near his balls, doesn't deserve to have them. just sayin'.

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