I’m Torn: Online Dating

August 3, 2009     Posted in Reality, Relationships

onlinebooty


By Alana

I’ve learned a ton of useful things at college, and I hate to say (sorry Mom and Dad) that most of most of this knowledge I’ve acquired outside of the classroom. One pivotal lesson I’ve gleaned from my 3 years in school: dating in college is hard.

Coming from a school with a 60/40 ratio of girls to guys, with a large slice of that 40% uninterested in boobs, I’ve got very few choices. The pool of college boys has been unimpressive and disappointing to say the least – I’m sick of random hookups with frat boys (yes, it’s true) and trying to get a college boy to commit.

I know there are some great guys out there, but maybe I’m looking in the wrong places. I’ve heard tons of success stories about online dating, but honestly, I’m a little nervous.  I’ve dabbled in the online pool, but I’m still not sure it’s the right thing for me.

Help! I’m torn.

Love it:

There are SO many different online dating sites out there. Whether you use Match.com, eHarmony, or in my case, Jdate (give me a break, I won a free trial via Twitter), there’s definitely an online dating site for you. After a long day slaving away at my internship, it’s nice to come home to an inbox full of interested guys. It’s an amazing ego boost!

Even better, when you use the Internet as your matchmaker, the dating pool gets about 500 times larger. You’re no longer limited to the gay/too proud to admit they’re gay guys you meet in your PR class. And you can stalk a hottie’s profile and know right away if you share common interests. That means it’s easy to discard (and remove from your “matches”) the losers via obvious red flags like shirtless vanity shots, photos with tons of girls, or a bio that spends way to much time discussing the guy’s mother.

I love reading about a guy’s little quirks before I even meet him – it makes striking up that first conversation so much easier. Hell, if I could scan a room full of guys at a party and know instantly that the cutie in the blue polo shirt secretly likes word games, I’d totally start talking to him.

Loathe it:

If you think you’ve met the creepiest guy of all time in your bio class, well honey, you haven’t tried online dating yet. In addition to the clean-cut, dog-loving, recent Harvard grads, there are tons of creepy, old, pedophiles that would just love to strike up a conversation with a cute girl like yourself. Oh, and they sometimes ask to video chat.

Hey, I’m trying to keep an open mind, but to me, telling a girl you’re lonely and want to… err… get to know each other better by video chatting is just a little creepy. Seriously dude, get a dog.

And that’s not even as bad as the guys who don’t wave the creep/freak flag until you are actually on the date. Like that one guy who didn’t bring money and forced me to pay for the date. Awesome. As much as I love laughing about a horrible date with friends or writing about it on my blog, sometimes I’d rather just be home watching More to Love than wasting my time on this dud.

There is also the fact that people present themselves much differently online than in real life (I’m talking to you, Mr. I Gained 30 Pounds and Grew a Rabbi Beard But Never Changed My Photo), that coming home and chatting with new guys online nightly is super time consuming, and, don’t forget, that giant stigma attached to finding love online.

Grrrr.

As I write this, I let out a huge sigh of frustration. Dating is hard, and maybe online dating is really no different than dating in a traditional sense. Maybe this post should have been titled “I’m Torn: Dating,” because honestly, I’m getting a little jaded. What would you guys do – suck it up and keep meeting guys around campus, or take the plunge and have the Internet find “Mr. Perfect” for you?

20 Comments on "I’m Torn: Online Dating"

  1. dannidupa says:
    Mon, 3rd Aug 20098:27 am 

    this is such a great article! i go to BU, too and can empathize with…every single thing you said! if there's one thing i have learned from my experiences in boston it is that the guys are not on campus. they are everywhere else in the city! such as the fenway area pre or post red sox game or long wharf and faneuil on a nice night or walking around castle island or boston common! i have hope still in the non-internet search!

    -Danielle (lavieboston.wordpress.com)

  2. Katie - Michigan Sta says:
    Mon, 3rd Aug 20099:01 am 

    The internet is great for meeting guys – keep working on it and you'll come out on top! I've met a couple of my boyfriends online and I know it's worth it to keep searching. Love is love, whether you find it next door, on the internet, or at the bar.

  3. Jess says:
    Mon, 3rd Aug 20099:30 am 

    I met my current boyfriend online, on myspace actually. I was embarrassed about it, because come on, myspace? There's such a stigma about it. But, my best friend met her guy online and my boyfriend's best friend met his girlfriend on myspace too. So it definitely works. Prior to this, I was on some dating sites, but I felt too young to be on them. It seemed like most of the guys on there were already divorced or just using it as a booty call finder.

  4. Bubble says:
    Mon, 3rd Aug 200910:37 am 

    Nice article! bubble helps you find someone

    based on your tweets. Check us out @ http://bubble.villya.com/

  5. Leese says:
    Mon, 3rd Aug 200910:47 am 

    I met my boyfriend on Craigslist a little over two years ago. It wasn't as scary back then, but I still can't believe I met someone from an internet ad. I was going to an all female college at the time, so if there was a boy on campus, he was either a brother or a boyfriend, I had to find some other way to meet boys! Only certain people know exactly how we met. If I told my family they'd probably freak out and I definitely understand the stigma Jess mentioned.

  6. Lauren - University says:
    Mon, 3rd Aug 200910:48 am 

    Amen to the amount of freaks out there. But there are a few gems in the piles of shit, fo sho. I think everyone should give it a try – then it wouldn't be so taboo, would it?

  7. Emily says:
    Mon, 3rd Aug 200912:13 pm 

    I joined for the summer because I was going to be in NYC and figured it couldn't hurt. While I met some hot, cool guys willing to buy me drinks or dinner, I also met some guys who were not willing to accept the fact there was no spark. One even confronted me in front of my boss at a networking event for our industry. Awkward.

  8. hello says:
    Mon, 3rd Aug 20092:10 pm 

    nice article about dating

    http://www.boodango.com

  9. farandaway says:
    Mon, 3rd Aug 20092:11 pm 

    noce piece and great pic of that girl

    http://www.fatbirthday.com

  10. Liam says:
    Mon, 3rd Aug 20094:55 pm 

    Amazing how folks saw this post as a time to advertise their sites

  11. Tyson says:
    Mon, 3rd Aug 20096:38 pm 

    Why are there so many fat and ugly girls on internet dating sites? I have tried looking at profiles on some of them, and I literally have to look at my computer screen with one hand covering my eyes and me barely peaking through because there are so many hideous beasts on the sites. These girls are so dumb. They want so model earning 250,000+ dollars a year and they weigh 200 pounds with a face that looks like a monster. No wonder nobody wants their worthless ass.

  12. Joe the Drunk says:
    Tue, 4th Aug 20096:25 pm 

    Ladies – how many of you had sex with a guy you met online? I am taking a scientific poll. I need to know if this works

  13. blairh313 says:
    Wed, 5th Aug 200910:15 am 

    OK, here’s my thing about internet dating…everyone seems to be looking for serious commitment! What if you just want to date, meet some people? I’ve heard about this site called Ignighter that’s supposed to be group dates, but I don’t know…what do you think?

  14. Megan says:
    Tue, 18th Aug 20091:03 pm 

    Nice article Alana! Everyone is torn about starting to date online, whether they're in college, in their 70's, or somewhere in between. Just like "regular" dating, you'll find some studs and some duds in online dating. Best advice I can give you is not to stay in a relationship for too long unless you're sure. Don't waste your time in lousy (or even lukewarm) relationships. It's college – have fun!

    http://www.onlinedatingmuse.com

  15. Max McLaren says:
    Wed, 19th Aug 20093:42 am 

    I picked up a Russian girl in 4 hours!

    See here: http://myrussiangirl.wordpress.com

  16. Trent P says:
    Fri, 21st Aug 20091:22 pm 

    Hey, Alana. From my experience with online dating, I'd say it's hit or miss, but so is life. In other words, it's definitely worth a shot. If you're looking for somewhere to start, http://www.postitos.com has a very low $5 dollar registration fee, so that might be a good place to start. They also offer video listing, which a lot of larger dating websites don't. Definitely worth checking out!

  17. michelle says:
    Fri, 21st Aug 20091:43 pm 

    trent and alana,

    i am interested in http://www.postitos.com. can you tell me more about it? online dating is so expensive and i am looking for something new. video listings, sounds exciting! tell me more! i will look at the site too! thanks again!

  18. valkyrie9 says:
    Tue, 1st Sep 20098:52 pm 

    ^Trent/michelle, you're fooling no one.

    As for Tyson, you don't sound like a stud. You sound like a loser, and if I'm too fat or ugly for you to date, that's not a problem, since you are too jerky and stupid for me to date too. Funny how things work out so perfectly, hm?

    Why do guys think they sound cool, going to girls' sites and talking about how girls are too ugly/stupid/fat/slutty/picky/whatever? Yeah, we're supposed to find that flattering. Really?

  19. Peter says:
    Wed, 7th Oct 20091:51 am 

    I found your article very useful and interesting. I have bookmarked the site for later usage. Peter

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