Why You Should…Be Naked

I love clothes.  I have a closet full (or three).  My love borders on an unhealthy addiction (so says my parents and the credit card company, but bah!), however…I also love being naked.  No, that does not mean I love being naked with other naked people.  I like being naked by myself.  Just watching TV or reading a book or, even better, taking a nap.  During my first couple years of college, I would memorize my roommate’s schedule so I could have a couple hours of “naked time” every week.

Why, you ask?  Oh, so many reasons.  One of the most important is that the dorms on my campus are chronically overheated and I come from a climate very similar to that of a tundra.  I run hot, as the saying goes.  Therefore, naked time is necessary.  However, after a couple years of stripping down to do my homework or whatever else I felt like doing, I’ve gotten used to it.  In fact, I highly recommend nudity.  Whether you have your naked time in solitude or with a friend, that’s up to you…

Here are some (non-creepy) reasons to be naked.  Enjoy:

Comfort – Fashion can be restricting.  There are days (especially in this hazy, hot summer) where the idea of waking up and putting on an outfit seems like torture.  More layers in 100 degree heat??  Absurd.  Might as well stay home and be naked.  This allows for temperature control, as well.  Plus, I guarantee you’ll not have a better night’s sleep than when you sleep naked.

Aerodynamics - Every sport (except perhaps curling and a couple of others) has a uniform specifically designed to be more aerodynamic.  The faster you are, the more you win.  Well, you can’t beat nudity for aerodynamics.  There’s no uniform closer to the skin than…skin.  Now if only professional athletes such as swimmers started competing this way (I’m talking to you, Michael Phelps)…

Attention - Going to the club?  Want some free drinks?  We all know that a little well-timed cleavage will score some free drinks.  What about nudity?  If we ignore laws about indecent exposure, clubs would be the perfect place to be naked.  You’d get loads of male attention (well, you’d get everyone’s attention, let’s not lie) and you wouldn’t be sweating your make-up off after the third song of shakin’ your booty.  Win.

Mental Health – This one is actually serious.  When you don’t have to worry about external trappings, your mind is free to relax and wander to places it may not have previously been free to go.  You fall asleep faster when you’re not thinking about how your shirt is all twisted up and your shorts are riding a bit too high (next stop, Wedgie Town).  Even homework seems to flow faster (trust me, I’ve tried this and homework is definitely easier and more fun when you’re naked. Don’t ask me why).

Saves Money – More naked time = less clothing to buy.  Enough said.

Healthier - Summer or winter, you sweat more when you wear clothes.  They restrict the flow of air to your skin and bacteria can quickly build up in certain places.  So, if you remove the clothes, then you’ll have less of a chance of rashes and skin infections.   Rashes + Skin Infections = Not Sexy.  It’s a scientific fact, my friends.

Diet - I don’t know about you, but any sight of my naked body makes me vow never to eat carbs again.  If I was naked more often, then I might actually follow through on that promise.  Have you ever tried eating while naked?  It’s awkward and seems wrong on some level.  I’m sure if I spent more time nude, I’d be rocking the best diet ever.  Anyways, I’m pretty sure McDonald’s has that No Shirt – No Shoes- No Service rule.  See?  The diet is already effective.