Tuffy Luv Sez: Don’t Give Up On Love!

Question for Tuffy? Email TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and get it answered, girl!

By Sara

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Tuffy, I am so sick of men. I mean it. I just can’t take it any more. They all just break my heart. I’m in college–isn’t this supposed to be a time when it’s fun to just meet guys? Dating is horrible and I never meet anyone good anyway, unless I do and then they always just ruin it somehow. I seriously thought about experimenting with women but my lesbian friends say girls aren’t any better. I think I’m just going to swear off love forever. Please tell me I’m wrong.

Out of Love

Dear Out of Love,

You’re wrong.

No, for real, though. Honey, you are WAY too young to swear off love. When you’re old and you only eat prunes and have no teeth, then, and only then, if you’re alone, give me a call.

The question you should ask yourself is–why? Why does every relationship, every date turn out so awfully? Are you dating the wrong kind of guys? Lots of girls date craptastic guys because they feel like they deserve it or because they think they can fix them. Girl, ain’t never been no one can fix a bad man. Period.

Or maybe, and I know you hate this answer, honey, but they don’t call me Tuffy Luv for nothing–maybe there’s something you’re doing that’s either hurting their feelings or making them upset in some way? Maybe you’re telling them too-personal information on the first or second date (sexual abuse, extreme religion, illness—these things should all be reserved for someone who already cares about you, not someone you barely know). Or maybe you’re either coming on too strong, or not strong enough.

That said, you should NEVER change yourself so some guy likes you. You should just adjust your behavior–if you’re hurting someone’s feelings or if you’re being inappropriate, you should take an honest look at yourself and reevaluate your actions. Think of a date as a job interview: Be the best version of yourself that you can be.

So my advice is to swear off dating–but just for a month or two. Work on you, girl. Do things you like to do. Treat yourself to things you like. Go out with your friends and don’t even look at the guys in the room. You just need a little break. I promise that after a couple of months of this, you’ll be refreshed and get back in the game.
You know you never can find things when you’re looking too hard

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv