Duke It Out: Going Greek

August 7, 2009     Posted in Back to School, Reality

sorority

32

By Lauren H

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman, so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like dating a geek!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

Having spent my college years at a *ahem* non-traditional school, sororities were never something I considered – we don’t even have a campus, let alone a Greek system. But nonetheless, I suppose I’ve always looked down a bit on sorority girls… at least until recently when one of my best friends told me she was going to rush this year. So now, in all fairness, it seems like I owe it to these Greek girls to re-examine my thoughts.

I can certainly see the appeal of a sorority - the belonging, the sisterhood, and it would definitely have been handy to have some older girls around as a kind of mentor for those times when I let myself get out of hand. You have a place to live (a place that’s probably nicer than the dorms); you have a choice of what kind of group you want to be with, so you probably have some things in common. By being thrown into a sort of automatic family, you up your chances of making friends, moreso than in most ordinary social situations, and you are more bonded with those friends because of all that you share.

Greek life is also known for creating strong leaders (look at how many politicians were involved in a frat or sorority) and can be a great networking opp since many former Greek-ers (like, maybe, your boss), will go the extra mile to help out someone from their old house.  You never have to spend those sad nights (or weeks) alone, camped out on your bed after a breakup with no one to talk to. Plus, sororities (from what I understand) tend to organize parties and events and things that would force you to get out and have fun, even if you were, say, a shy underclassmen.

The downsides, of course, are related to many of the same things. Sororities tend to be about the group, which can throw a lot of peer pressure into the mix and that can be hard to deal with unless you’re very assertive.  And that pressure seems particularly counter-intuitive since this is the time in our lives when we’re supposed to be finding ourselves. The group is very self-contained (ie. they protect their own, and if you threaten that, you have a problem) and can also be time consuming (especially if you get into a leadership position), which means you had better be really good at organization or your grades could suffer over something that probably won’t make much difference on your resume.

And all of those social engagements, well once you’re in, you’re expected to represent your house so you might not be able to just blow off some fundraiser you don’t care about, even if you really need to get that term paper done. And for that same reason, it’s probably going to be much harder to keep up friendships with people who aren’t in the sorority, since so much of your social life will revolve around the house.

The biggest downsides to sororities, of course, are the most obvious and talked about. We’ve all heard the stories of sororities who refuse to accept or kick out girls of certain body types or ethnic backgrounds, and I won’t even get into hazing since it’s technically banned on most campuses (but a cursory Internet search can give you more horror stories there than you ever wanted to know).  Oh, and by the way, there are usually dues. That’s right, at most sororities, you have to pay to stay, and if you’re strapped for cash already, that might be bigger commitment than you want to make.

So, what do you say ladies? Am I being unfair? Are the benefits of belonging to a sorority worth the risks? Would you go Greel, or do you still not get the girls of sorority row?

32 Comments on "Duke It Out: Going Greek"

  1. Kari- Florida State says:
    Fri, 7th Aug 20095:03 am 

    I think this was a great and unbiased article! I adore my sorority, the bond of sisterhood that I share with not only the women in my chapter, but also thousands of other women across the country. The point you brought up about grades was very true, and sorority life can teach you to prioritize like never before. I definitely see how some people could be concerned that instead of maturing into the woman you want to be, you'll be conforming to what the sorority thinks you should be, but that's what the recruitment process is for; if you go through it with an open mind, every woman can find a sorority that shares her values and having the support of like-minded sisters will make you a better person. Yay for Greek Life!

  2. Lauren - University says:
    Fri, 7th Aug 20095:24 am 

    I agree. I am not a "sorority girl" but I love being in one. There is always something to do and, really, it's not always as big of a commitment as everyone thinks. You make it what you want to make it. I even maintained all of my friends who weren't in it with me.

    But it was totally worth it all. I have made great friends, had some awesome times with everyone and really made the campus smaller. Oh, and the leadership opportunities? They look RIDICULOUSLY good on resumes. Just sayin'

  3. Candie says:
    Fri, 7th Aug 20096:02 am 

    I live on a very Greek-oriented campus, but I would never join one. Most of my friends are in a fraternity and sorority and while I'm supportive of that, its just not for me. There is always some kind of drama going on in my friends' sororities and I'm having none of that, thank you.

  4. Samantha says:
    Fri, 7th Aug 20096:58 am 

    I joined a sorority my sophomore year and I think it was a great decision. I've gotten much more involved on campus, made great friends, and gotten to be a mentor when I took on a "little" in my sorority. I think they aren't meant for everyone, but I think they can really help make college a great experience.

  5. Christina says:
    Fri, 7th Aug 20097:51 am 

    I joined a sorority my first year in college and I do not regret it one bit. I love my sisters and knowing that someone is going to be there for me is amazing when you're feeling overwhelmed or down because of school or life in general. You do spend a lot of time on sorority things, more than an average college student is used to spending on a student organization probably, but like Kari said, you learn how to prioritize really fast. And unlike most student organizations, these girls are your sisters for life. I met some of the best women I know in my sorority and I don't think that would have happened if I didn't join given that they're everyone from seniors to freshmen.

    I wouldn't say that being in a sorority limited my friendship circle either though. I joined my first year, and while I may have turned more to my sorority after I moved out of university housing my second year, my first year provided me with a strong friendship circle outside of my sorority.

    I'd say definitely go through rushing knowing what you don't want, since you can't exactly define yourself and put it into a box to pick a sorority. Pick the one that you're comfortable with. It'll become pretty clear, I promise.

  6. Christen says:
    Fri, 7th Aug 20099:10 am 

    I agree, the article was great, and really unbiased. I really think Greek Life varies from school to school. At my school, I'd probably guess that about half of the Greeks wouldn't be Greek at say, a big state school. I have tons of friends outside of my house, as I did not rush until my sophomore year. My biggest complaint is tied to the fact that fact that everywhere you go, you're "representing your house". Party too much? Word gets back and you get in trouble. Never go out or don't hang out with your sisters enough? You're not being active enough. Don't even get me started on the double standards of what Greek guys can get by with in comparison to what we get in trouble for.

    Greek isn't for everyone, but its been everything I've wanted. I've learned so much about planning events through my officer position, and made some great friends and even a few lifelong girlfriends. (Something that was difficult considering my major is almost exclusively male dominated and my interests are most often shared by guys as well…)

  7. Christen says:
    Fri, 7th Aug 20099:13 am 

    Oh, and I almost forgot… Dues really are a necessary thing because they're paying for all your events. Do you think that some rich alum is paying to keep the electricity on at the house? Fat chance. We have a portion of our dues that goes to nationals to keep them running as an organization, then there's money to pay for social events (food, room rentals, decorations, etc), money to keep the house running, and paying for our meals at the house.

    Student organizations are free because they are funded by the Student Association typically. Otherwise you'd be paying dues to them too.

  8. Celia says:
    Fri, 7th Aug 20099:14 am 

    I think this is a fantastically written article, and I agree with the comments that it is unbiased. I joined a professional music fraternity for women my freshman year in college, and it honestly has been the best decision I've made. "Greek Life" isn't all party girls and keggers; there are greek-letter organizations with the same bonds of closeness for things other than social purposes. I feel that joining a professional organization grants me a lot of the great parts about going greek, and few of the negatives…it's rather fantastic :D

  9. Whitney says:
    Fri, 7th Aug 20099:50 am 

    I would like to point out, though, that while there may be a lot of politicians etc that were in the Greek system, think about all the ones that weren't. I am willing to wager that there are more that were not than were.

  10. Stephanie PTY says:
    Fri, 7th Aug 20093:05 pm 

    I never had the money to join a sorority, but I definitely understood the appeal. My school has a 70/30 male-to-female ratio, so a lot of the girls I know who joined sororities did it just to find other girls on campus! In addition to really not being able to afford it (I couldn't even afford to live on campus at all after a few years), I have always had trouble making friends with other girls. I don't know if being in a sorority is something that would have helped that, or if that trait would have been really, really bad for me in that scenario. I suppose it no longer matters now that I've graduated, but I would say the only reason I ever would have joined a sorority is if I had a very close female friend who spent a lot of time talking me into it.

  11. ashley says:
    Fri, 7th Aug 20098:09 pm 

    out of maybe 10 or more sororities on campus, only 2 of them are known to be haze-free (even though hazing is banned). there are horror stories about a few of them that i've heard. the one that got kicked off campus last year was making the rushes sit on a basketball and watch a porno, and whoever "dripped down first" had to masturbate with a lollipop and then they had to eat it. i know this may be TMI, but i'm just trying to draw attention to the fact that hazing, unfortunately, still exists.

  12. Laura says:
    Sat, 8th Aug 20091:05 am 

    Holy shit at the story above!!!! What college is that from???? THAT CANNOT BE REAL!!!!!! I don't believe that. What are some other hazing stories???? That is insane!!!!!!!

  13. Kelly says:
    Sat, 8th Aug 20091:06 pm 

    To Whitney's response that there were less politicians that weren't greek than those who were.

    taken from the boston university greek life web page:

    85% of Fortune 500 executives are Greek

    76% of U.S. Congressman and Senators are Greek

    40% of all Supreme Court Justices

    All but two U.S. Presidents and two Vice Presidents since 1825 have been Greek

    85% of the U.S. Supreme Court Justices since 1910 have been Greek

    63% of U.S. President's cabinet members since 1900 are Greek

  14. Suzanne says:
    Sat, 8th Aug 20098:53 pm 

    Who the fuck cares about who was Greek and not??????? Save your jackass statistics for you stats class idiot.

  15. Al says:
    Mon, 10th Aug 200910:22 pm 

    Suzanne, you sound very hostile. Perhaps, you should've read the article and the following comments before so bitterly commenting. There is still hope for you! Kelly didn't say that just because you aren't greek doesn't mean that one day you won't do anything important, mmky?

    Anyway, I appreciated the article. Although, sorority life has never appealed to me. I already have a sister and I go to an all-women's school. I'm glad you touched on sororities excluding atypical peoples though.

  16. Suzanne says:
    Tue, 11th Aug 20095:06 am 

    Al

    Shouldn't your fat ass be doing the weather or something? STFU and learn some respect for your fellow commenters you SOB.

  17. chickdowntown.com Sa says:
    Wed, 12th Aug 20097:27 am 

    There seems to be more cons than pros in this article. And as a girl in a sorority at a small school I'll tell you why it's the best decision I made (I'm a senior so I've been in my sorority for 3 years).

    1. Yes it is time consuming if you have a position. I was vice president of finance and I am now vice president of member development…aka very time consuming. I was also the public relations chair of our student government at the time of finance. I was so busy, but it taught me time management. It's going to be so easy now to go into the work field and deal with the stress because my leadership roles have prepared me.

    2. We do have parties with lots of drinking and what not, but as an upperclassman, I have never peer pressured someone into drinking or was I ever peer pressured. I think that and hazing definitely depends on the school.

    3. For kicking girls out for their ethnicity or body type, that's a little crazy. There are girls in my sorority that range from 90 lbs to over 200 lbs. Again, I think it all depends of the type of school and even the type of sorority.

    4. Dues should never be a reason not to join a sorority. If a member talks with their financial chair, there is always something that can be worked out.

    I guess what I'm trying to get across is that sororities aren't what people think. I have some best friends in my sorority, but I have some that are not. It's not the cliche thing people think. I think joining a sorority at my school was the best thing I could have ever done.

  18. Jessica says:
    Wed, 12th Aug 200912:05 pm 

    Wow Suzanne, I think you may be the one who needs to learn a little bit of respect in this situation. Just take a look at how positive and unbiased the article is, and every comment but the two that you left, and then think about who is disrespectful and needs to learn some manners.

    I have been in a sorority since my freshman year and am about to graduate with my Political Science and Communication major and my sorority has been amazing in helping to provide free places to stay while interviewing around the country, and in contacts for interviews. Outside of the contact aspect however, having a Greek organization shows you know how to operate within a system, follow protocol, rules, and business meeting guidelines.

  19. Heather says:
    Fri, 14th Aug 20096:03 am 

    I rushed and did not get into ANY sorority. I think it was because I was overweight or a bit older (26), so I definitely feel like I was discriminated against.

  20. HL says:
    Sat, 15th Aug 20096:20 pm 

    I think that while this is a great unbiased article, Heather's comment brings up the fact that greek life isn't for everyone. Just as not everyone thinks that sororities are right for them, some people wouldn't thrive in a greek organization. And before you jump down my throat, no, I'm not talking about looks or money, I'm talking about not being okay with time management and mandatory obligations like weekly meetings, recruitment events, behavior standards, and comfort with the fact that you are always representing your organization. Some people don't thrive in an all girl or all guy environment, and thats totally okay. It's a really weird and specialized system (I realized this trying to explain it to a Australian friend), and it definitely doesn't appeal to or fit everyone. And while I feel like my greek experience, though it has had ups and downs, has been great, I don't think that is a universal thing.

  21. Amanda says:
    Sun, 16th Aug 20091:39 am 

    What are some stories on initiations for sororities? That is what everyone wants to know.

  22. Jenny says:
    Sun, 16th Aug 20098:09 am 

    I think it all depends on the sorority. I've known two people in sororities, and their experiences greatly differ. One went through a series of ridiculous rituals which she couldn't talk about to non-sorority members. Plus, she wasn't allowed to advertise the sorority (for example, wearing sorority t-shirts) for some reason. The other friend did not get hazed or anything, and she speaks highly of her sorority. Her sorority is more like a group of friends rather than a secret society.

  23. Alice says:
    Thu, 27th Aug 20093:04 pm 

    Greek life never had any appeal to me. I just don't think I could stand that level of forced commitment. I'm extremely happy with my flexible organization that allows me to commit as much as I want and still remain in it. And to date, it's been quite a bit of time.

    That and I don't care to find myself representing a particular house or groups or whatnot. And an all girl environment repels. I've had friends who've rushed before and joined as well. Their stories don't make it seem worth it.

  24. Eloisa says:
    Tue, 1st Sep 20097:04 am 

    Sorority groups seemed to me like gangs the only obvious difference is that in sorority groups there are students who are going to school. Believe it or not gangs do help their own like sororities and they do help their own community in one way or the other. However the similarities of gangs and sorority are drinking, parties, doing illegal or inappropriate things, sex and drugs. Wow what a surprise gangs and sorority are the same shit just in different neighborhoods. Come on people wake up. I know this is not new but why not follow God. Peace out people

  25. Eloisa says:
    Tue, 1st Sep 20097:07 am 

    http://www.snagfilms.com/films/title/haze/
    Haze video of sorority groups drinking and just acting stupid for what just to joing something and have friends come one

  26. Heather says:
    Thu, 10th Sep 20091:01 pm 

    3. For kicking girls out for their ethnicity or body type, that’s a little crazy. There are girls in my sorority that range from 90 lbs to over 200 lbs. Again, I think it all depends of the type of school and even the type of sorority.

    I agree. I've heard these stories, and there are some sororities that want all the cute girls, but I didn't join one of those. It's not that I'm not cute, but I don't want to be with other women who only value looks. I took me a while to get to know some of the girls in my house, but now, I feel like I've made a lot of really good friends through my house. I know a lot of people who would never join Greek life, and they say their student groups are like a frat/sorority to them, but Greek life is NOT the same as simply being in any student organization. Greek life is about being committed to the people simply for the sake of being social with them. Even though I am close to the people on my athletic team, the team and our sport can tend to come before friendships. With Greek life, the good of the house is factored into the equation, but the main draw of Greek life is to simply hang out and have fun with like minded people. And at my school, it's a bit difficult to find the more social people on campus, and Greek life has really allowed me to do that.

  27. Becca- Clarion Unive says:
    Thu, 10th Sep 20094:56 pm 

    there was documented hazing at my school, where a sorority took girls and stripped them to their underwear and magic marker-ed all the things about them they needed to change…. physically of course. that sorority was then forbidden from taking new pledges for i think a year.

    I'm still going greek. I'm a shy girl, and I like to meet new people, and I honestly think that greeks the way to go for me… def. not for everyone though.

  28. Ben says:
    Thu, 10th Sep 200911:50 pm 

    Why are sorority girls such sluts? Not that I am complaining, but they are all major sluts.

  29. R says:
    Fri, 11th Sep 20097:19 am 

    First off all, I agree with everyone who said this was a great article. Very unbiased.

    Regarding hazing:

    I've found from talking to my friends at other schools, as well as my own experiences, that hazing happens in the north wayyyy more than in the south. At my school in the South a we were never hazed. Actually it was the complete opposite. We were showered with gifts and notes telling us that we were beautiful and wonderful, and that they loved us and were so happy to be able to call us their sisters. Many girls in my sorority don't drink and that is not an issue at all. We never force anyone to drink or embarrass them in any way. My sorority is all about sisterhood, sharing our ritual, philanthropy (raised the most $ for charity by about $40K) and scholarship (best grades of any student organization on campus). We have girls of all different shapes, sizes, colors, and backgrounds.

    I know some people don't get it, but that doesn't mean you have to bash it. Going greek or not is a personal decision and everyone should respect each others' choice to participate or not.

  30. E says:
    Sun, 13th Sep 20094:52 pm 

    Just worth mentioning – there are also co-ed fraternities at a few schools, which tend to be run a bit differently (from my understanding) than most sororities. At least, that's the way of it at my school, and I love mine – it's very far from the stereotype of Greek life, which fits me well, and very close. I'm sure people have heard that quote about friends being the family you choose for yourself – well, with the right Greek organization, that's entirely true; we really are a family.

    That said – my impression is that this is not something that most sororities on my campus could say… so, YMMV. It'll be different from place to place and organization to organization.

  31. Decor 2 Ur Door says:
    Wed, 26th May 20106:17 pm 

    Great article. As a sorority girl(mom) and mother of two sorority girls I find them important to development and leadership. Sororities do have lots of social events but the philantropic events are equally as important… giving back.

    I love to create sorority spirit and have a dorm/sorority bedding and decor business. Get ready for recruitment with
    http://www.decor-2-ur-door.com

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