Can You Be a Semi-Feminist?

Remember Natalie Dylan, the girl who wanted to auction off her virginity? She had a degree in Women’s Studies and herself a feminist. Kind of contradictory, huh?

Although her case is extreme, I come to find that I also have some contradicting views on feminism. I tend to be pretty adamant about being a strong independent woman, but sometimes I just wanna feel like that innocent damsel in distress. And although it’s comforting to slip into many traditional female roles, I could never abandon the ideals of the 21st century feminist.

Here are some of the contradictions that make me happy to call myself a “semi-femi”:

– I consider myself a feminist, but I don’t hate men and I shave my armpits on the regular.

– I enjoy proving I can do anything without my man’s help, but I do like it when he opens doors for me.

– I plan on taking my husband’s last name when I get married, but I hate it when a couple is labeled Mr. and Mrs. “Husband’s-First-and-Last-Name.” I’m not property!

– I‘m sick of movies and magazines that portray women as nothing more than sex objects, but I could stare at Megan Fox all day long.

– I am a big advocate of a woman’s right to choose (be it about her body, who she votes for, etc.), but I prefer my boyfriend to pick the restaurant or date activity.

– I refuse to be treated like someone’s personal chef or maid, but I can’t deny the satisfaction of a day of cupcake baking in the kitchen or scrubbing that nasty bathtub tile.

– I plan on toiling away for my college degree so I can become an independent career woman, but I do plan on taking a few years off to pop out some tykes.

– I work hard for my paycheck so I can buy my own Starbucks, but it is never unappreciated when he picks up the sushi check.

– I can whoop any guy in foosball, Resident Evil, and go-carts, but I’m a sucker for a bubble bath and a stack of chick-lit.

– I don’t think girls should waste their time in the bathroom trying to look picture perfect to impress a guy, but I still hit the tanning bed, dye my hair and practice eyeshadow techniques.

So, would you call this a list of feminist contradictions or hypocrisies? Where do you personally fall on the feminist spectrum and what are your own contradictions? Let us know in the comments!



  1. Keri says:

    I'm pretty much with you 100%, except, I'm going to hyphenate my name when I get married, because my man has the worst last name, ever. But yeah, I think it's a good thing to be in the middle and not be so extreme on one or the other end.

  2. Amy says:

    Why does being a feminist require hating men? Most women who call themselves feminists have boyfriends/husbands. There are extremists, sure, but most feminists only hate men like politicians who tell them what they can do with their own bodies, not all men.

    I believe that there should be no double standards for anything not directly related to the biological differences in male and female. Separate bathrooms, sure. Changing your last name when he doesn't have to, no. And you should never call a girl a slut without also calling the men she sleeps with sluts.

  3. Darwin says:

    I sing along to Fiona Apple songs. Artists on my iPod (Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, Alanis Morisette)

    Don't start with the filcks, Love Actually and 10 Things I Hate About You get the eyes watery everytime.

    Guess I can't hate feminism, but I'll still make the jokes.

  4. davis says:

    I think you're definition of feminism is wrong (which is all the evil women-hating media's fault, I tell you!). None of those things that you mentioned either make you a feminist or an anti-feminist. Feminism is about believing that men and women were created equally, not about confining yourself to tradition gender roles, or about rejecting them. I pluck my eyebrows, and I call myself a feminist.

  5. Casey says:

    I do not consider myself a feminist, because Davis is right, the definition is, "believing that men and women were created equally" and I don't believe that we are. Men were created to do some things better than women and vise versa.

    Now I DO think that everyone should have the opportunity to pursue whatever dreams they may have, but honestly there are just some things that men can do and women can't, and obviously there are things that women can do that men can't. I believe we are all equal human beings, but we were not made equal. There are obvious differences (besides the genitalia). I think there are some jobs that women just shouldn't do, although I think the right should be reserved for them to still pursue those careers because there are a select few that actually can do them, just not the vast majority. I also think that the world works better when women and men fill certain traditional roles. (Not the typical "housewives" ones of course though) But that's just my view of it.

    I don't hold double standards, so whatever I said in this comment about one gender holds true for the other as well. For example, men are better in labor jobs and women in care taking jobs. We're just built for different things. But in difference there's equality.

  6. Sarah says:

    No one in this entire article/comment thread has any idea what they're talking about except for maybe davis.

    I can't even begin to list all the contradictions and delusional statements people are making here. I kind of makes me sick. You want feminism? Check out some of these blogs:

    Sociological Images

    Heartless Doll

    The F Bomb

    Get some "femi-education" (lol…silly, I know).

  7. Sarah says:

    P.S. Casey, I know you try not to be confrontational or attacking on this blog, but sometimes I wish you would just stfu. The reason you think/view/believe that men and women are better or worse at certain occupations is because those gender stereotypes have been perpetuated throughout the ages. You've grown up seeing women in care-taking professions and men in labor professions, so you'd naturally come to believe that that's simply what they're best at–even though that's not the case. Women are perfectly capable of working on a construction site and men are just as equally capable of taking care of children or the elderly (insert any other convoluted examples you may think up and the statement still rings true).

    I know I can't really blame you for being so close-minded since that's just the way society has raised you, but please consider tossing aside your traditional ideas of gender roles and learning something new.

  8. Molly says:

    I didn't consult a dictionary, but to me personally being a feminist means believing that it's wrong to tell someone what they can or cannot do based on their gender. And yes, I apply this to males too. If you want to shave your head, go right ahead. If you want to reach the top of your career path, more power to you. If you want to stay at home and take care of kids? Well you know what? That's cool too. Feminism shouldn't be about restricting choices, it should be about the freedom to choose what you want. No?

  9. Ani says:

    I read often and comment… never, but I feel I can't overlook this article without chucking in my two cents.

    Do you believe that women should be guaranteed the same rights and freedoms as men? In other words, are you an egalitarian when it comes to gender? If yes, you are a feminist. Everything else – female chauvinism, misandry, all of the other varied beliefs and interpretations, are secondary. Saying you're a 'semi-feminist', or saying you're 'not a feminist' but believe in equality just perpetuates the stigma around the word 'feminist' and helps create a generation of young women who won't affirm their feminism for fear of being called harpies, dykes or manhaters.

  10. Lynn says:

    It depends on the type of feminism. You mix a bunch of different types in your "semi-feminism" comparison – most everything you call "anti-feminist" is only anti-feminist in extreme branches of feminism.

    Natalie Dylan can call herself a feminist without contradiction, because "sex-positive feminism" IS a wing of feminism that believes porn/prostitution/stripping doesn't necessarily have to be demeaning. She probably believes that her virginity and her body are to do with as she pleases, regardless of the judgment of society. She probably sees it as taking control of her sexuality and the societal beliefs that associate so much value with virginity. In general, sex-positive feminists believe that laws regulating women's sexuality – any forms of sexuality, even prostitution, if entered willingly – is wrong.

    I mean, the real reason she did it was to make a shit ton of money, but her feminism doesn't necessarily have to be in conflict with that.

    I'm not trying to start an argument about whether sex-positive feminism is valid – it definitely has its contradictions, and I'm not sure I support it. But it shows that feminism is not a black-and-white thing.

  11. D says:

    I'm pretty sure you don't have to get a certain score on the "feminist exam" to be a card carrying member of our little club. Like so many words feminism lacks a definition that's crystal clear and universally excepted. A lot of people don't call themselves feminists but they feel the same way about topics feminists are generally passionate about (reproductive rights, equal pay, ect) however the imagine of burning bras and stabbing men is a bit too much for them (me too I like my man AND my bra thank you very much…)

    Not all feminists are man haters. Actually a recent study* showed women who support "traditional gender roles" are more likely to hold resentment for men. Shock! who knew stereotypes could be wrong?


  12. Casey says:

    Sara, You don't have any clue why I feel/think/believe anything. And my original comment was 100% passive, unlike yours. I feel/think/believe what I said in my comment because of the differences in men and woman's bodies and hormones, and what I have seen and experienced in my own personal life. NOT because of society. And it's my right to believe/think/feel however I want and express it wherever I want. So try again. Got anymore pointless ignorant comments to try and make yourself sound like a know-it-all? And you're insinuation that anyone who thinks "traditionally" is closed minded is about the most ridiculous thing I've ever read. The fact that you THINK you know why everyone thinks the way they do is hilarious to me! I'm very well versed in many aspects of many different viewpoints, I choose to believe what I want because it's who I am and what I choose, not because of how I was raised or what I was taught. So please, do yourself a favor and take your own advice.

  13. Casey says:

    Oh and in case you missed it, I'll re-iterate what I said in my original comment,

    "I think there are some jobs that women just shouldn’t do, although I think the right should be reserved for them to still pursue those careers because there are a select few that actually can do them, just not the vast majority."

    I also mentioned that I don't hold double standards and that the same rings true for men. So if you're going to try and insult me at least read my damn comment.

  14. Emily says:

    Casey, maybe it'd clear things up if you gave some examples of what professions you think either gender is incapable of doing. I'm actually quite curious.

  15. Georgina says:

    Feminists are just fat, ugly women who no guys will give the time of day so they become feminists. Take a women's studies class in college. Without fail, they are taught by the most repulsive looking bull dyke looking creatures in history. You never see a woman who is even moderately attractive teaching women's studies classes.

  16. Casey says:

    Emily, I am not trying to offend anyone, I was just explaining the way I felt about the issue. I really didn't even intend for anyone to respond. Just putting my view out there. If people like Sarah are going to get defensive over a completely passive comment where I simply stated how I felt, well then that is absurd. But I really don't feel as though I have to clarify anything. I didn't put a lot of detail in my original comment for a reason, I don't want an argument, and I don't want to offend anyone I was just throwing out another view point. And I'm sick of trying to defend myself to a bunch of people that are clearly on the opposite end of the spectrum, politically, and therefore would never come to an agreement (no matter how much they may tell me I'M being closed minded). I just want to partake in the comments, civilly, read some other peoples views and offer my own, without people getting catty, and bitchy, and mean. I'm sick of having to defend MYSELF from personal attacks, my views, I don't mind defending, but I shouldn't have to defend myself from utter rudeness as well. And it seems that is all this site is turning into.

  17. Heather says:

    Feminists, get back in the kitchen! :)

    But really, I think there's a difference between being a feminist and refusing to be a door-mat. Women can do most of the things men can do (and vice versa), but just because we *can* doesn't mean we want to or have to. I agree with Casey's original comment–men and women are wired differently. It doesn't mean a man can't be a stay-at-home parent or that a woman can't be president–it's just that a majority choose not to. I have no desire to be president, just like most guys would rather go to work than deal with diapers and feedings. I have no problem with the traditional roles of the man bringing home the bacon so the woman can cook it. Women get just as many (if not more) rights than men do, and I think it's embarrassing when extreme feminists pull the, "I am woman, hear me roar" routine.

  18. Georgina says:

    Heather: Exactly right. The feminist bull dykes give women a bad name.

  19. Casey says:

    Heather, Thank you! I'm glad someone understood my comment.

  20. mahli says:

    Women who bash other women for being "fat" or "ugly" give women a bad name Georgina.

    You guys are being harsh on Casey, I understand what she meant. There ARE differences between men and women, being different doesn't mean BAD!

    for example, Emily, men have a more muscular physique, and tend to dominate jobs like firefighting, or moving companies. It is just easier for them, and quite frankly, they are able to do these jobs more efficiently.

    Women have minds that are better wired for details, and multitasking. They also TEND to have natural nurturing instincts.

    And while there are always exceptions, there are natural tendencies for both men and women, and I don't quite understand why this has to be a bad thing. To me, it is anti feminist to insist a woman cannot be a police officer or ceo, but it is ALSO anti-feminist to insist a woman cannot stay home with her children if that's what she loves!

  21. SheilaK says:

    Casey, if you're unwilling to defend your opinions or explain your points to people who don't understand them, what's the point in putting them out there? It just makes your case look weak when you back away from questions saying, "I really don’t feel as though I have to clarify anything".

  22. Casey says:

    SheilaK, I really don't feel as though I needed to clarify anything. Mahli and Heather both got my point perfectly fine. Sarah and Emily on the other hand would have rather just attacked me personally because of posts of mine that they didn't agree with in the past. When someone tells me "I wish you would just stfu!" I think that makes it pretty evident that they have something against ME and will find something to try and argue no matter what I say, or what direction I take my next comment. So I'm not going to clarify something that doesn't need clarifying to someone who is going to attack me no matter what I say. Logically, there's just no point. If it was something not translating instead of a personal vendetta, they wouldn't be rude.

  23. Casey says:

    And thank you Mahli, you explained that perfectly. It's not that women (or men) CAN'T do certain jobs, it's just that most aren't built for it. Either physically, or otherwise.

  24. dannidupa says:

    This is such a fine line to tiptoe around as a woman. We want to be feminine and aesthetically pleasing to men without becoming simply an object of their desire. I stumbled upon an ad that is against domestic abuse but also alludes to the fact that women often dress suggestively…?

  25. Sarah says:

    Hi, my name is Sarah and I'm the same Sarah that posted earlier and apparently holds a personal vendetta against Casey. I would like to mention that after reading Casey's responses, I feel she must be 100% aware of the way her comments irritate other people because she often holds the polar-opposite viewpoint on most topics of discussion.

    That being said, I'm not implying that Casey is not allowed to share her opinions on a public forum such as College Candy, but I think she should be prepared for responses from others who don't agree with her. Also, to claim that she doesn't "want an argument" is obviously bullshit–evident by the fact that she is often quick to respond to anyone who calls her out.

    And another thing, "sorry" if my uncensored thoughts and abrasive language offend anyone. This is the fucking INTERNET and I'm not going to thoughtfully write out a comment and censor my feelings on a subject just because it might hurt someone's feelings or make them feel attacked. We're all adults here; let's grow a pair, maybe?

    Lastly, Casey, if you're simply trying to "put your view out there" I don't see why it would be a problem to further explain yourself, no matter the circumstances. Just because a couple people understood you doesn't mean everyone does. And Emily's comment asking you to elaborate certainly didn't come off as "attacking" to me. I know I attacked you, but let's not act like the whole world is against us, okay? If you don't like the way people confront your comments (rudely or otherwise) maybe you should go to another website where people share your opinions and won't tell you to "stfu."

  26. Sarah says:

    P.S. Quit being such a baby. I comment on CC because I like to stimulate semi-anonymous debate. You apparently like to shove your traditional views down others' throats and play the martyr (a role I certainly don't admire).

  27. Jessica says:

    I completely agree with the article, contrary to a lot of commenters. I think that there is an extreme side to the feminist debate, that can be seen in women who want there to be no difference between a man and woman at all, and I'm all for that. However, these are the same women who do look down on the women that choose to stay home and have children, or give up their career for them. I feel that if that where you feel your place is best served, and what will make you happy than women who preach choice and rights should understand that. I want to have children, and never have any intention of fully giving up my career to be mommy, but I have respect for those that do.

  28. Casey says:

    P.S. "I feel she must be 100% aware of the way her comments irritate other people because she often holds the polar-opposite viewpoint on most topics of discussion."

    I'm glad you just admitted that the commentators of this blog are bigoted/ prejudiced/ intolerant etc. of people with opposing views. Way to be a hypocrite! :)

  29. bored says:

    comments were interesting at first, then they got all tl;dr.

    no one wants to hear you pms at each other.

  30. Casey says:

    Umm, right, way to prove my point and be a complete bitch Sarah. If “stimulating semi-anonymous debate” means being a know-it-all bitch and personally attacking anyone that doesn’t share your opinion then who the hell wants to “debate” with you? I”M not being adult? why? because I understand that debate is about views and not the person behind them? because I’m not rude to people because they have a different opinion. Yes, I realize people don’t like my comments/opinions, but when have I EVER been flat out rude to someone simply because they don’t share my views? Ummmm, the answer is NEVER, so YOU need to grow up and not be such an immature little bitch that doesn’t realize that the whole world isn’t just like you and that you are not always right.

    I don’t “shove” my views anywhere, I don’t attack people because they don’t agree with me, I attack people because they are flat out rude to me because I don’t agree with THEM. Are you not getting it? You can have a debate without being a bitch, without getting defensive because someone doesn’t agree with you. Have you ever watched a professional debate? yeah they don’t include personal attacks, and “stfu’s”

    When have I ever “shoved my traditional views” down anyones throat? I post my views, I don’t force them on anyone. I don’t tell anyone that “my views are right and your ignorant for not believing them” which is what I get a lot of on this site. THAT sweetie is “shoving your views down peoples throats” NOT posting a comment that simply shares your views. I am quick to respond to rudeness, because I don’t like being put down for my beliefs. I certainly have never started an argument because I don’t agree with someone. (which if you go back and read ANY of my posts that point is made perfectly clear)

    And even though it’s “the internet” it doesn’t give you an excuse to be a flat out bitch to people. YOU are what’s wrong with this world, people who think they can be rude and get away with it because they don’t give a fuck who they offend. No matter where you are or who you’re talking to if you want to be “an adult” you debate civilly, with adult language, and adult thoughts, not immature childish put downs. Grow a pair? LEARN SOME FUCKING MANNERS!

    The problem with me “further explaining myself” is that when people read one post and already have a haughty attitude toward me ( and sorry but I think, “Cause I’d really like to know” comes off as “I don’t agree and I could really care less what you have to say”) I’m not going to waste my time trying to explain something that the person doesn’t even care about. If someone asks politely, then I’ll elaborate. I’m not wasting my time on asshole’s (oops, apparently I am).

    Oh and I love how you didn’t comment on the part where I called you out for thinking you know why everyone in the world thinks/feels/believes the way they do, cause I’d really like to know how you got to be soooooo damn smart!

  31. cj says:

    NONE of those things are un-feminist of you. Being a feminist is about doing what seems right to you, it doesn't mean you have to subscribe to some insane set of regulations.

    And I sincerely hope you're kidding about the first one ("I consider myself a feminist, but I don’t hate men and I shave my armpits on the regular."). That is one of the most overplayed, infuriating stereotypes about feminists, and by putting it in this list to begin with, whether you meant to or not, you're perpetuating it.

  32. catie says:

    Georgina, this woman teaches writing and gender studies courses at my college, and she and Amy Richards wrote the book ManifestA. Are you going to try to say she's unattractive? Give me a break.

  33. God says:

    All you bitches need to get back to the kitchen

  34. Paris Hilton says:

    Wow you girls are totally, like, up yourselves.

    Why dont you all go get laid

  35. Lily says:

    Man, the comments were going so good and then some immature commenter had to come in throwing "stfu's" and insults and ruin a perfectly good discussion. I don't understand why every discussion on this site has to end up with personal attacks.

  36. Lily says:

    Also, OP sucks dicks

  37. Liz says:

    Casey's a nut

  38. Casey says:

    Please explain to me how I am the "nut" when I had nothing foul to say until someone told me to "stfu". Because that really doesn't make any sense to me. Would YOU like to be told to "stfu" for sharing your opinion on a subject? Would it make YOU a nut if you retaliated?

  39. Liz says:

    I retract what I said Casey, you're all right – just a bit outspoken which I guess might rub people the wrong way.

    In the end we should all learn to take ourselves a little less seriously.

  40. Georgina says:

    Catie- If you think that bull dyke is attractive you need to get your eyes checked. Feminists are just bull dyke losers who can't attract men so they hate them. They are so ugly no guy will even look at them.

  41. durga says:

    As opposed to buttoned-up neocon bitches who hate their husbands and resent women who have actual lives of their own, so they resort to name-calling because they don't have the guts to get one for themselves, right Georgina? Stfu or go troll askmen.

  42. morgan says:

    i hate the stereotype that feminists are somehow anti-men, cause i consider myself a feminist, and by that i mean the same definition as the woman before 'men and women are created equal'. i don't go as far as to not shave my legs or underarms, i like wearing make up but i love myself best with moisturizer and no make up, I've seen both the suburban type women and the not suburban type women and to me it seems like the ones that have to fight to where they are are more appreciative and thoughtful, whereas some women are happy to tend to their houses and please their husbands and take care of their kids which is fine but i sort of feel like they don't have lives of their own, where they take pride in their personal achievements separate from their families, i think that sometimes living in that sort of society shifts their views

  43. davis says:

    Thanks for the shout-out, Sarah – clearly I should have checked back after I posted originally. I just wanted to address Casey’s first comment, hopefully WITHOUT inciting personal attacks about my character or moral worth. Because, you know, what I post on the comments of College Candy are a really good way to determine whether or not I’m a bitch.

    But first, I’d like to address Georgina’s comment because it really fucking pisses me off. When she says “feminists are just fat, ugly women who no guys will give the time of day so they become feminists” she’s putting into words what I believe is one of the major road-blocks to equality: the idea that a woman who sticks up for herself and her gender, and puts forwards radical notions such as “men and women are equal” must be an ugly dyke man-hater. Well you know what, bitch?

    Suck it.

    (God damn, I’ve succumbed to petty name-calling and insulting. Damn. Oh well. I’ll try harder to keep my PMS under control. (Please, for Christ’s sake, note the sarcasm))

    Maybe I’m just beating a dead horse here, but I think Casey raised important issues when it comes to discussing the very essence of gender and gender-differences. She believes (if I have understood this correctly, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong) that men and women were created differently, and that men should do some jobs, and women should do others. You can’t argue that men and women are biologically similar – we got boobies. It’s pretty obvious. But there’s a difference between same and equal. Yes, men have the leg up on women for certain professions, particularly those that demand a certain amount of physical aptitude. Testosterone gives men the ability to gain more muscle mass than most women can hope of gaining, while women are biologically wired to have more fat than men – it all comes back to breeding. Women need more fat in order to support the babies.

    But just because we’re created physically differently doesn’t translate into being unequal. I think that the only restrictions on whether a person can do something is aptitude. There are some women who innately have more testosterone than others, and they are able to gain more muscle mass than their more estrogeny counterparts. Just like there are men who, try as hard as they might, find it hard to gain muscle weight. It’s just genetics and biology. Does that mean that a woman can’t work a construction site if she’s good at what her job entails? God no! A person’s ability should determine whether they get hired, not their gender. Does it mean that men can’t be day-care providers? Fuck no! My brother is way better with kids than I’ll ever be. I’d much rather have him look after my child than someone like me.

    And, can I please point out the horribly misogynistic remarks made by what I can only assume are dudes looking to rile up a few of those crazy feminazis out there? THAT’S what women should be fighting. People who belittle any attempts made by a female to assert her individuality by resting on old man-hating, bra-burning hairy dyke stereotypes. So stop hating on each other and hate on them.


  44. Casey says:

    Davis, that is all I was trying to say. I guess I used the wrong word. But that was my point.

    Morgan, those women that you don't feel like have lives of their own CHOSE to do that, they WANT to do that, to a lot of women raising a family IS their life. Women grow up dreaming of being a housewife, it's science, that's what we are made to do, you and I, were the minority. We want something different out of life, but those women are perfectly content just raising a family (which is no easy life) I couldn't raise a family, I don't have enough patience, can't stand kids, take to much pride in my body, LOVE time to myself, and HATE the idea of someone being dependent on me for the rest of my life. But I do admire the women that do it, cause that job is waaaaay to hard for me.

  45. Casey says:

    Oh, and thanks Liz. I do appreciate it.

  46. Sarah says:

    This site has begun to bore me…I think I'll go back to 4chan where people can take a verbal beat-down and find it entertaining rather than infringing on their right to an opinion.

  47. Salome says:

    I'm a little bothered by this article, as College Candy is usually such a feminist-friendly place, but this article furthers so many of the harmful stereotypes about feminists. Chiefly, that we hate men, or that we think it's wrong to be girly or to take time off from work to have babies. Anyone with even a bare-minimum understanding of feminism would know it's not about hating men, and the vast majority of feminists, even the lesbian ones, are quite happy to share this planet with the other half of the human species. We simply ask that we have the same rights and opportunities men do. Likewise, feminism isn't about making all women work, but asking that those of us who don't want to take time off aren't forced to (or feel obligated to, as is often the case with women who choose it in this day and age). Not to mention, allowing men the freedom to "stay at home" if they want to – it's not their obligation to be the breadwinner any more than it is women's obligation to be the caretaker.

    And from Sarah's last comment:

    //This site has begun to bore me…I think I’ll go back to 4chan where people can take a verbal beat-down and find it entertaining rather than infringing on their right to an opinion.//

    Yes, I agree very much. Freedom of speech means you have the right to say what you want, but it isn't freedom of speech (quite the opposite actually) if you also insist that your opinion is not allowed to go uncontested.

  48. Trisiana says:

    While I appreciate the original differing viewpoints on feminism and biological hardwiring, could the internet fighting perhaps take place somewhere else? It's swamping the other comments that are about the article.

  49. Sarah says:

    Thanks, Salome. Well said. :)

  50. Nikki says:

    I do quite enjoy most of the articles here on CC, but this one annoyed the everloving crap out of me.

    "- I consider myself a feminist, but I don’t hate men and I shave my armpits on the regular."

    What is the author's definition of feminism, exactly? To say that the statement is hypocritical or otherwise contradictory is to misrepresent what the word "feminist" means reduce the subject at hand to nothing more than a caricature and further propogate a negative stereotype.

    I'm black, but I don't like watermelon. I guess that makes me only semi-black…?

  51. […] of Cocaine On It… So Everybody Has Handled Some Dope [Bossip] – Can You Be a Semi-Feminist? [College Candy] – Which Celeb Is Serenading Rob Pattinson? [Fafarazzi] – “Mad Men” Season 3 rehash […]

  52. way-to-confuse-the-i says:

    To put it plainly, no. There is no such thing as a semi-feminist. (That is, unless you've culled your definition of feminism from Sex & the City, which frequently confuses feminism with narcissism, then it's possible to be a "feminist" who bases her entire self-image upon what men think of her and what she can do to sabotage the women around her.)

    The point of feminism is equality, plain and simple. People are not created equal, because everyone is gifted with unique abilities that are different from the next person, but everyone deserves to be created equally. The fact that we still make distinctions between men and women – e.g. this movie is a guy movie, this is a chick-flick; women are better at these jobs, men are better at these jobs; "she's the first woman to ever have this job" instead of "no one has ever led the country like that," leaving sex out of it – is indicative that there is still plenty of work left for the feminist movement. It's when these distinctions evaporate that feminism will have accomplished its goals.

    When supposedly educated women are applying latinate prefixes before the word feminist to adapt it to suit their narcissistic lives, they can have all the time they want to debate waxing vs. laser hair removal, and whether that's a feminist statement in itself. In the meantime, the rest of us feminists will soldier on and get on with all the work we have to do. Your daughters will thank us later.

  53. way-to-confuse-the-i says:

    dammit – "everyone deserves to be TREATED equally." ::sigh:: pressed submit too soon.

  54. Chleo says:

    "where people can take a verbal beat-down and find it entertaining"

    WOW!, what kind of fucked up culture does a statement like that spawn from?! Seriously, that is disgusting!

    Fuck you Sarah! Please go back to 4chan and do us all a favor.

  55. Chleo says:

    And Salome, you can go with her if you agree so much, from what I can tell casey never said her opinions should go uncontested, she said she'd rather not have to defend herself, not her opinions. And I agree, Sarah's a cunt and we don't need people like her starting petty arguments that clutter up the comments.

  56. Sarah says:

    Ouch, Chleo! Way to take shit personally, yeah?

    Why don't you all crawl back in your hole of naiveté so we big girls can get on with our lives without whining and crying about how mean everyone is.

    The world is harsh, bitches! ACCEPT IT AND MOVE ON.

    (oh em gee, I LOVVVE playing the Bad Guy!)

  57. Chleo says:

    Let me guess Sarah you have no friends so you spend all your time online being a bitch to complete strangers so you can feel better about yourself. Then when people call you out you cry to yourself wondering why you have no friends. Well let me explain it to you, IT'S BECAUSE YOUR A TRAILER TRASH CUNT! Stop PMSing at everyone, grow the fuck up, and realize that the world doesn't have to be a cruel place. You sure are doing your share to ruin it.

    No one wants to be friends with a bitch, just an FYI.

  58. mia says:


    I’m black, but I don’t like watermelon. I guess that makes me only semi-black…?

    I totally LOL'ed on that one. I agree with your point. Perhaps the OP was trying to be tongue-in-cheek with her little comment about the armpit shaving and whatnot, but it just came off crass and stereotypical. The first point really angered me as well, because I thought we were over that whole stereotype of feminists being dowdy women who burn their bras and whatnot – why don't people differentiate between radical examples and the actual mainstream, common goal? I don't think of all Republicans as gun-toting, bible-thumping whites and I don't think of all animal rights activists as soy-eating hippies with sandals and socks. Get my gist? I actually think the OP made a big mistake with that point – it's really offensive to the women before us who have worked hard to achieve the rights we enjoy today.

  59. mia says:

    And I don't think there is such a thing as a semi-feminist. That term only exists if you think (like the OP) that a feminist is some radical crazy (most likely lesbian, right??) woman with a unibrow burning her bras.

    If you can open your mind a little bit and think of feminism as an ideology which maintains that women and men should be treated equally with same rights while acknowledging their differences, then you are a feminist. If you don't think that, then you are not.

    The OP frames her "contradictions" as something I suppose she thinks feminists cannot enjoy or like : eg. the man paying for the dinner bill or a woman thinking of Megan Fox as a sexual figure. You only think these are contradictions because your idea of a feminist is set in this certain mindset. No one ever said a feminist cannot enjoy cleaning or have her partner purchase things for her. This is what happens when you take certain ideas too literally.

    I think the OP should do some reading on the history and beliefs of feminism and then come back to re-examine her post. I think she will find that so many of her "contradictions" were actually based on HER biased and wrong ideas of what a feminist is.

  60. davis says:

    Very well-spoken Mia

  61. Elizabeth says:

    I believe that men and women are equal… but I believe we have differences, and most women have a different set of skills than most men…

    I don't believe that a woman's "place" is at home, but I still love taking care of my apartment and cooking dinner for my guy.

    I am *nearly* finished with my degree, have every intention of having a career and further education… but I will still only work part time for awhile when I have children.

    And I plan on taking my guy's last name, even though I am not property.

  62. Jessica says:

    Hey, thanks for perpetuating bullshit stereotypes about feminism!

  63. papertigre says:

    1. I agree completely with those saying that this article merely perpetuates inaccurate feminist stereotypes. Feminism is about believing the women should have equal rights to men and that girls can choose their path for themselves. I am a feminist, yet I have a boyfriend, quite a few guy friends, and I shave my armpits and legs. Gasp.

    2. Feminists can enjoy things like people holding doors open, paying for dinner, getting married, having kids, etc. Many do, in fact. Personally, I both hold doors and accept those held for me. I see it as courtesy. Free dinner or a movie is awesome, but I'll pay for myself, or pick up the bill entirely some nights without complaint. Feminism is about more options, not less.

    3. I expected the fight in the comments to be between a guy (probably bored and trying to piss someone off) and a girl (who sadly didn't figure that out). Stupid me. Of course it's two women fighting on a thread about feminism, because they're totally trying to be ironic. You know, female solidarity. Rah rah! Right?


    There's a reason why we still need feminism. Sigh.

    Guys, that was just a sad display by all involved. Now, attack me as you wish because I have better things to do than read and respond to whatever is said. A gold star to the first person who calls me a bitch, but TWO for the first person who breaks out the c-word. Ooooh.

  64. Monica says:

    It would be really awesome if you guys didn't use the definition of feminism to define what is and isn't feminist behavior. Feminism isn't about makeup,shaving,who-pays, door-opening,last names or being a stay-at-home mom.

    "I am a big advocate of a woman’s right to choose (be it about her body, who she votes for, etc.)" and "I’m not property!" IS FEMINISM. I can enjoy bubble baths,baking,sewing,chivalry and mascara while OWNING my feminist identity. I think embracing traditionally feminine activities IS a great act of feminism, not detrimental to feminism. I don't need to act in an androgynous or manly way to prove equality. Be a feminine-feminist, drop this "semi" bull.

  65. John Long says:

    Isn't it interesting how most self-proclaimed feminists don't exude any femininity? They're the women who show no interest in their outward appearance and strive to make everyone else around them miserable becuase of it. They claim the "Supermodel" isn't a realistic portrayal of a woman. Well, a Bodybuilder isn't a typical portrayal of a male but I'm not offended by them. It's a lifestyle not based on equality but on the hatred of men. If you want true equality, why not turn your bitterness toward the woman who take an interest in themselves and their appearance not for society's sake but just because they have self confidence and the manners and skills needed to function in life. Maybe Sarah Palin isn't the role model you wanted but she knows how to market herself. (Now if she could only keep her mouth shut) She's everything you hate because she takes care of herself, is successful, and shows that a woman can actually make it. Go ahead, cut your hair a little shorter and make yourself look worse than the men you're trying to emulate. Question: Are you attracted to a woman or a woman that looks like a man? If you use a strap-on to act out sex……That's not sex. That's action of your inadequacies.

  66. Steve says:

    Am I missing the point, I don't get the human desire to divide people into them and us, whether it be gender, or sexual orientation or ethnicity.

    what is wrong with saying believing and living the logic that every person is equal but different?

    obviously we don't have that in todays society and that is stupid, and we should be working together to remove inequality (not positive discrinimation either but genuine all people equal job goes to person on merit etc).

    in terms of names, I see no reason for a person to change their name, seems stupid to me. After all a marriage is a partnership between to people who love each other.

    please none of this idiotic stuff on stereotypes, I'm male and love cross-stitching and drawing does that make me stereotypically male do I care? we have a short period of time on earth, I'd like to spend it doing things that I enjoy doing rather than worrying about whether or not this makes me stereotypically something or the other.

  67. Mimi says:

    I am 100% feminist and not ashamed in the least bit to admit it. I don't hate men, I'm not fat, I'm not a lesbian, and I'm in no way masculine or butch. I believe in equal rights and opportunities for both women and men. I surround myself with intelligent, decent men who also believe in equality. Sure, men and women are different, but the fact both are human should come before gender. We are equal in every respect, despite our differences. Feminism has gotten a horrible name because of female chauvinists who hate men and claim their feminists, and male chauvinists who feel insecure and intimidated by strong women who desire equality. Male or female, anyone that claims their gender is superior to the opposite sex is a chauvinist. Male and female chauvinists are the kind of people we should be rallying against, for they are the ones who are keeping sexism alive when it should be nonexistent in this "enlightened" day and age.

    1. ChrisD says:

      "Feminism has gotten a horrible name because of female chauvinists who hate men and claim their feminists" who happen to be the leaders of the movement. The rank and file feminists follow their misandrist leaders without complaint.

  68. Kristie says:

    This article completely bothers me right off the bat! Her first point is: "- I consider myself a feminist, but I don’t hate men and I shave my armpits on the regular"


    "- I plan on toiling away for my college degree so I can become an independent career woman, but I do plan on taking a few years off to pop out some tykes."

    That fits completely fine into the life of a feminist. Being a feminist does not mean being anti-having-kids. It means being able to make that choice, if you wish, without being looked down upon by society.

    Being feminist doesn't mean you can't be feminine. It is literally recognizing oppression and sexism-not in any way that you can't dress up and feel pretty. It doesn't say a man can't open a door for you or can't pay for things sometimes. I'm sure you do things for him and pay for things at points as well. It's give and take.

    Though the author is trying to make a point, it's from the standpoint that feminism is something disgusting and vile and not easily achievable without giving up being feminine altogether— which is in no way true!!

    1. ChrisD says:

      Correction, not all feminists hate men but some do, and those who don't are fully tolerant of them. Also, feminists are more likely to be unshaven than non-feminists, based on observing women's studies students. Feminists are also far more likely to have anti-male views, which is why the movement continues to have that reputation.

    2. e_bruce07 says:

      I completely agree with you Kristie. This is what is wrong with people when it comes to feminism. Everything you said I agree, Feminism is standing for the right to be treated as a person. We fight for women to get the same pay which my mother made 187 dollars less a paycheck at her job she left a few months ago compared to the men doing the same job. We fight for women being able to have well funded and safe places such as planned parenthood and other family planning programs. My mother walked in the street with other women protesting because they were tired of being treated like an ignorant maid, cook and child giver. Feminism is the movement that we deserve to be treated like people, we deserve to have the options as men. We fight to have a say over our bodys and much more.

    3. e_bruce07 says:

      You know not that long ago my mother was at work when she was younger and had guys pinching her butt and she couldn't say anything? that is nuts! We stand for yourselves and boiling it down, making it sound like all we do is hate men and not shave is disgusting and pisses me off frankly. I am engaged and love my soon to be husband and being feminist isn't hating him, being a feminist is looking at him and saying I am equal to you.

  69. Ritu Tyagi says:

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  70. […] Can you be a Semi-Feminist? – College Candy […]

  71. JWMcCabe says:

    Yep, I am a semi -feminist.. I am pro choice but I am also for people being forced into a conception contract whereby they both must agree to procreate. I earn about the same as my husband and I expect him too do what he is good at. DIshes,sweeping.. I am good at the laundry, cooking, organizing. I am better at the money management, he is better at finding good value for money items/experiences. I expect him to treat me like a lady and he is spoiled rotten!

    I suppose we are semi-traditional..

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