So, This Is Where Men Learn To Date?

copy paste and bangEveryone in this world needs a little help when it comes to understanding and interacting with the opposite sex (especially if you want your encounter to have a “happy ending”).  Thankfully, there’s a whole slew of self-help books out there for that very subject.  Unfortunately, it’s a double-edged sword.  For as many extremely witty and helpful books that exist, there are also those that seem to exist purely to make my life more difficult (as in all those geektards from my English 101 course freshman year who suddenly think they have game and try to get all up on me during happy hour).

Browse any website or bookstore and you’ll find things that defy explanation.  Really, who publishes these things?  Who thought it would be a good idea to publish guides on how to get laid more quickly?  There are enough frat boy a-holes in the world already, why create more?  Why aren’t there books on how to be more sensitive? Or, how to shut up and do what she says? (Just kidding, but you see where I’m going.)

Here is just a taste of some of the dribble out there. Beware of the boys wielding these books – things are bound to get ugly.

Copy, Paste & Bang! – This is a book, ostensibly, about making online dating work for men.  As in, making an online dating profile and getting laid within a 24-hour period.  After perusing the text and the reviews, I have come to the conclusion that this is a manual for internet predators.  The product description says it all:  “Copy, Paste & Bang! was written for one simple reason: to help regular guys meet women utilizing the Internet and to get you laid.”  Uhh…does anyone have Chris Hansen’s number?

The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists – I hate you, Mystery.  And you, Neil Strauss.  Why would you take a perfectly adorable, shy, and socially inept computer geek and turn him into a douchebag player??  What a waste of resources!!  This book promises to teach men the secrets of picking up women in as short a period of time as humanly possible.  Awesome.  This way, men don’t actually have to get to know the women they’re about to sleep with.  Saves time, no?

The Professional Bachelor Dating Guide – How to Exploit Her Inner Psycho – …because, of course, all women are psychos, even if they don’t act crazy.  This book is a doozy.  I’m gonna let the product description speak for itself here:  “Women in courting mode are phenomenal actresses; many devote their whole lives to role-playing, camouflaged appearances, and storytelling. They manipulate men by dangling potential sex to satisfy their ego, play games, or vacuum your wallet.”  You can also learn how to protect your assets and shield your salary from a potential divorce.  Score!

Player’s Handbook Volume 2:  Advanced Pickup and Seduction Secrets For Men Who Love Women & Sex (and Want More of Both) – Lucky for  men, this book teaches them how to “never be without a sex partner – and how to handle multiple sex partners at once.  How to avoid the mistakes that 99% of most make when dating multiple women.  How to end a relationship, but still receive “benefits” and “special privileges.”  Wonderful!  I always wondered where that guy I was crushing on so hard Sophomore year learned all his tricks and tips.  100 pages of glorious douchiness.  At $11.95, I’d say this book is a mega bargain.

1200 Pickup Lines – Sample pickup lines include:  “I found this [lace glove, rosary, etc] on the floor at the club last night, is it yours?  Well, if it’s not, I’d like to give it to you anyway,” and “I wanna floss with your pubic hair.”  Thank goodness no one I know owns this book, otherwise I’d be a gonner for sure.  I mean, who can stand up the massive amounts of charm contained in this little tome of 126 pages?  Not me, my friend.  Not me.



    1. AshleyLauren says:

      "I want to floss with your pubic hair!?"

      who the hell reads these things?


    2. Philip Powell says:

      Agree with everything on the list but one, clearly you did not completely read the game and merely read part of on the cliffnotes of it. Because if you had you would have none toward the end, Neil Strauss states and becomes himself a more well rounded person, who still enjoys the things he used too, only now has the tools to effectively communicate and engage women. And that said book is actually about one man's journey into a community he eventually abandons as he noticed those engaged in it become social robots or the aforementioned douche bags. But otherwise this is a great list.

    3. jeff says:

      sounds as bad as the book i found for like 50 cents at a book sale called how to the jerk women love writian by some guy whos first name was shark it made me laugh so much i bought it for laughs

    4. Justin says:

      yea gonna agree with all of em except the game. For all of us socially retarded and inept nerds who growing up hardly ever had continuous interaction with the vagoo, its a good guide for us to see how to become a more confident guy.

      The underlying concept behind the game is that you gotta improve your life (i.e stop playin video games and go out) to help yourself in order to become that confident man all the girls wants. If you take it at face value, like phillip said you become that creepy social robot spewing out lines.

    5. Johnny says:

      Talk all the shit you want! Seduction literature has gotten me better with women, and I'm not sorry about that.

    6. Henry Hotspur says:

      You should read "The Game" before slamming it. Not only is it NOT a how-to book (although Neil has written one of those) but it answers the question about why Neil would make the change.

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    9. Rei says:

      Men shouldn't act like assholes to get a woman into bed with him. He should be a gentleman, not a jerk. The only women who will go to bed with a complete ass, after reading these ridiculous books, are women who are 'easy' and they are called prostitutes.

    10. Ivan says:

      Books like that exist because you ladies are cold and shallow! Average nice guys need an advantage because the frat-boy a-holes get all the girls! Girls like a-holes! Nice guys who are already sensitive face rejection wherever they go, whether it be at a bar, a party or online. I've had experience with all of those and internet dating is no easier or less full of rejection. The book Copy Paste and Bang, from what I understand because I have not read it, (but I did hear the interview the author had with Howard Stern,) is a direct response to all those nice, sensitive guys out there who have been frustrated with trying meet girls in social settings only to find a whole new world of rejection online! Sure, it's all about how to have sex as quickly as possible but as long as you girls out there pretend to be all about personality, we're gonna go ahead and fight fire with fire.

      Girls are always saying how looks don't matter… it's all about personality, it's all about a sense of humor.. that is such HORSE POO! Confidence? BS. Girls are JUST as shallow as guys and if you're not hot or have lots of money, you will have a ROUGH time meeting a girl, no matter where you look.

      So deal with it, ladies. As long as you remain shallow, then pretend you're not, books like this will never stop being written and published. As long as truly nice guys face rejection from girls pretending to just be looking for a nice, honest guy, guys will come up with ways of getting in your pants because clearly, you're not interested in anything else if the techniques in the book work!

    11. Ashley B says:

      Once filthy girls stop only going out with "hot guys" and guys who are rich, then maybe these books won't have to be written. Girls need to stop being so shallow and only dating these types of guys. You need to see that there are great guys who aren't necessarily "hot" or rich. Until then, keep your traps shut ladies.

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    13. John says:

      These books speak to the frustrated parts of guys; guys who think being nice or sensitive will attract women, but get the opposite results…

      I can't blame a guy for wanting more for himself than more for a woman who doesn't even know what she wants…

    14. S says:

      "Why would you take a perfectly adorable, shy, and socially inept computer geek and turn him into a douchebag player??"

      Let's be honest, Katie. Most girls are probably not going to have sex with the "perfectly adorable, shy, and socially inept computer geek" (in fact, this guy's not really so different from the "creep" character you described in your other article, the one you will never go home with – what's the difference? The creep doesn't avert his eyes when you look at him?). There are, however, plenty of women who will have sex with "a douchebag player," especially in college. Of course the best way to get laid is to actually have a personality of your own and to become a strong, intelligent, interesting, charming dude (or at least this is the best way to get with women who are actually interesting – no shortage of boring girls who will continue to fall for the asshole idiots), but the general thrust of the 90s involved encouraging smart nice guys to be weak, so most of the smart, interesting, nice guys are socially weak until they either start reading this pick-up garbage and become assholes or figure their own shit out and just become awesome. I'm 24 years old and I'm only now beginning to become awesome.

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