Weekly Ten: My Parents Joined Facebook.com

"Oh dear Lord have mercy. What is Melanie doing with that funnel??"

Check out this website. It’s hysterical and it’s the story. of. my. life. Every week, I write CollegeCandy’s Weekly 10 on the hard hitting issues of the moment. Issue of the week (Or maybe the issue of our generation as a whole)? Parentals on Facebook.

By Melanie

My mom is a very cool, tech savvy lady. She even had a Twitter before I did (and she loves to remind me of this) and is totally engrossed in Facebook. My dad also has a Facebook, but uses it much more sparingly. However, he has managed to comment on a picture of mine saying, “Look at my beautiful daughter! And smart too!” A good guy friend of mine observed that it seemed like he was trying to auction me off. Via Facebook. Let’s not even discuss the debacle when he scanned a baby picture of my sister and put it on her wall.

However, between my parents, my mom is hands-down the most Facebook happy person I know. Many of my friends add her, and she immediately accepts and writes on their wall to remind them to “eat their vegetables.” She also uses the “like” feature as if she needs it to continue breathing.

I’m sad to say that I occasionally delete what my mom says on my wall, you know, because I value my social life, but here are my 10 favorite gems thanks to good ol’ Mom.

10. ” How the heck are ya, my hard-workin’ girl??? Miss you & love you. Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxox”

9. “Miss you. Still fighting a lil’ illness. Be cool, go to school!”

8. “i didn’t think Hermione’s hemline was so short” (after seeing my Hermione Halloween costume)

7. “I’m writing this knowing full well you will delete it immediatly…sob!!! sob!!!
Sooooo, have a very happy valentine’s day anyways. I miss you and love you so very much!! You are my one and only true sweetheart!!! (written like a real valentine’s day creeper, eh? ) Mommy xoxoxoxox”

6. “Study hard!! Wear a hat – you lose 80% of your body heat through your head. Emma sez, “What up?” Don’t eat the yellow snow!!!!”
Emma is our family’s 5 pound yorkie. Awesome.

5. “how’s the educatin’ going? dean’s list this term? jafr (just a friendly reminder) from the woman who birthed you!”

4. “Gargle.“

3. “Emma asked when you are coming home…”
Again. The dog.

2. ” More like: “Facebook Breeeeeeak“

1. Upon a less than flattering picture of myself and an ex. Which everyone decided to comment on…
“ahhh, young love. you’ll grow up, you’ll learn…hopefully with no regrets!!”

With that notification sent to all 16 of my friends who made comments on that picture? I’d like to go back to Myspace now.

Melanie currently interning in NYC, taking full advantage of all margarita specials and those blonde summer boys. Stalk her on Twitter: @tinkermellie