The other day, as I was perusing CC, chuckling to myself (read: snorting loudly to everyone at Starbucks), I came across Katie’s hilarious “I’m Torn” on strapless bras. As I amen sister-ed and hallelujah-ed my way through the article and comments (I was a very spiritual Southern Baptist in a past life), I came to a disturbing conclusion:
The vast majority of us can’t stand our strapless bras–and that needs to change.
So, being the do-gooder that I am, I decided to go on a hunt for the best strapless bras around and bring them all to you. Trust me, I know all about the woes of the strapless, so I was very discriminating on my search.
These strapless boulder-holders are the best out there; they may even clear things up for our dear friend Katie.
Stays Put– No Matter What:
The number one strapless issue is definitely their inability to stay where they’re freakin’ supposed to. We all dread wriggling around trying to find a discreet way to hike up our slowly slipping bras (and most of us have concluded there is no discreet way to do so). These bras will make sure you never have to do the embarrassing wiggle dance while talking to a cute guy ever again.
Pretty, lacy and heavy duty underwire? Check, check and check. A strip of silicone beading all the way around the bra (not just on the back straps) will make sure that no matter how hard you bump, grind or hail a cab, you won’t have to re-adjust.
It’s sleek and simple, and with silicone lined straps and extra adhesive in the cups, Frederick’s promises you it won’t budge.
So that beautiful purple blouse hanging in your closet has been calling your name since you bought it for, like, 30% off. The only problem? You figured out why it was so discounted when you tried it on with your go-to strapless—and saw tacky lines running across the middle of your chest. These bras swear that those lines will disappear, no matter how clingy the material of your top.
This backless, strapless, self-adhesive comes in cup sizes A-D, and is available in nude or black. I usually wouldn’t even bother with a sticky bra until I read what makes this particular pick so incredible: the cups are molded foam. And they’re underwire. Goodbye chicken cutlets and tape-bras!
It’s totally smooth: no visible seams or boning, and the straps are lined with silicone to prevent slippage. To make sure it all but disappears under clothes, it’s lined with soft, sueded fabric. The best part? It’s only $13.
Sometimes a slinky, sexy top is so effing cute you just have to buy it. Other times, there’s a reason why you’re showing all that skin (and it might just be called “Josh” or “Brandon”). But what use is all of that skimpy seduction if you actually take him home later and he removes said sexy outfit to find…your nude, super-duper supportive, entirely un-sexy strapless? You can bet he’ll regret his smooth line about “that outfit looking better on his floor.” Well fear not, these bras are here to save the day.
I love how frilly and innocent this strapless is! I feel like this is the bra Cinderella is wearing underneath all that sparkly blue tulle, and, let’s face it, Cinderella had some pretty decent cleavage. Delicate lace and a white satin bow definitely let this angelic bra live up to its name.
For those nights when you’re feeling less than angelic? Betsey’s got your back (er, um, boobs). I swear by Betsey Johnson bras and alternate the two I have so I pretty much wear them every.single.day. She mixes soft materials with crazy, playful prints and still pays attention to how the bra will make you look (in a word: smokin’!)
Best cleavage creator:
Why oh why does it seem that “push-up” and “strapless” are mortal enemies? Why have the lingerie gods not found a way for us to defy gravity without shoulder straps? The tops and dresses I wear a strapless with are usually those that I want to show the most cleavage in, so why do I always feel so let down (literally) when my strapless fails to give me a boost? Because I don’t have this bra (yet. Give me 3-7 business days for shipping.)
As usual, Victoria’s Secret has done the seemingly impossible: they’ve out-cleavaged themselves. This satin smooth push up bra has extra oomph in the form of silicone pouches you can add or remove (super cleavage and super-duper-traffic-stopping cleavage).
They may have left out that third-x but this bra is definitely for adult entertainment. It comes in sizes 32A-38D and promises “incredible cleavage no matter what you wear.”
Best for big busts:
Nothing is more frustrating than being a 20-something girl stuffed into a 70-something woman’s bra, and if you’ve got tig o’l bitties, the vast majority of lingerie out there is of the grandma variety. Multiply that frustration by 6,000 and you’ve got strapless bra shopping for DD + cup sizes. Not anymore…
This sleek and seamless bra is invisible under clothing and bonus: no more dreaded quadro-boob! The edge of the bra blends seamlessly into skin, instead of cutting across it. That’s right, even those of us of the big boobed persuasion can have a cute strapless bra.
If you’re going for a more demure look, this minimizer will suck you in and lift you up. So you won’t be falling out of the top of your dress, the bra has an elastic band around the top. And so you won’t look like you’re stuffed into a sports bra, the molded cups are sculpted for just enough cleavage. Perfection.
This bra takes the best qualities of all the aforementioned bras and combines them into strapless flawlessness. It will stay put, push you up, stay hidden when it needs to, but still look hot when you want it to…
What are your strapless favorites?