He Said/She Said: To Snoop or Not To Snoop

checkingcomputer325

You know you’ve been there: your man has left the room and you are sitting there, staring at his computer or cell phone or closet. You have no reason to question the boy, but there is something about having all those potential secrets/answers at your fingertips that you just can’t seem to ignore. Is he texting another chick? Does he have some freaky porn addiction? Are there naked pics of his exes stored on his desktop?

Do you snoop or not? Moreover, what does he do when he’s left in the same sitch?

Crazy as it may sound, I’ve done my fair share of snooping in my life. Luckily, I never came across anything too juicy (except that one time I checked someone’s browsing history and found porn and only porn…and then felt an intense desire to step away from the keyboard and wash my hands), but what if I had? Is it fair? Is it wrong? Am I crazy for wondering what he keeps in that shoebox under his bed?!

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12 Comments on "He Said/She Said: To Snoop or Not To Snoop"

  1. Liz says:
    Wed, 12th Aug 20095:29 pm 

    I definitely would not snoop. It seems to me when you’re snooping you’re doing it because you don’t trust the other person and trust is so important in a relationship, without it, the relationship seems void.

  2. Emmie says:
    Wed, 12th Aug 20099:57 pm 

    I would definitely not snoop. I openly admit to facebook stalking, but that’s all public, so it’s nothing he would care if I saw. I just like feeling like I’m in on his day-to-day life (it’s a long distance relationship.) I was sort of tempted to look at his closet when I was in his room alone the other day, but it was more of a “huh, wonder what’s in there” than an actual desire to snoop. I would never actually do it, that’s such an invasion of privacy and relationships are supposed to be founded on respect. Plus he’s cool, if I asked he’d probably let me look, he’s pretty indulging like that.

  3. D. says:
    Thu, 13th Aug 20095:11 am 

    Yeah, I can’t bring myself to look through other people’s stuff either, but I’ve never really been tempted either.

  4. Sara says:
    Thu, 13th Aug 200910:04 am 

    God damnit!!!! Why the hell do girls insist on using a fictional tv show of 50 year old horse face whores to give them relationship guidelines and tips? Why the fuck are girls this stupid? No wonder girls are out behaving like skanks all the time. When you think that the experiences that a crows feet, wrinkled, horse face thinks is what relationships are supposed to be like, you are bound to have no commmon sense in life. I feel sorry that so many girls rely on SATC for relationship advice. You girls are fucking dumb.

  5. andy says:
    Thu, 13th Aug 200912:37 pm 

    I have to admit… I’m a snoop…
    At first I had a good reason because he left an aim window up where he was chatting with another girl and lets just say he was saying some inappropriate things…Nothing actually happened with them but it has made me insanely paranoid since… Instead of just ending it then, I accepted his apology and just became a super snoop… Email, Facebook, Myspace…. I know all the passwords and I have to admit after a while snooping becomes addicting… its really hard to fight the urge and not log on to his accounts… It really sucks because every other aspect of our relationship is great but I have never been able to fully trust him again

    and hey Sara lay off the SATC hatred! She wasn’t taking the advice of the show she was just using it to bring up a point

  6. Casey says:
    Thu, 13th Aug 20091:32 pm 

    I’ll admit I have snooped on my boyfriend facebook (hell I made that shit!) But I don’t read his messages or e-mails I wanted to check out his ex’s pictures and info cause I’ve never met her and his mom talks about her obsessively. And this girl he works with (who he thinks is hot) has a huge crush on him, so I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about (eh, she’s more skanky than she is hot) I trust him completely and would never snoop because I thought something was going on. I just like to look at peoples pictures.

    But I think if you don’t trust someone you should try and have a conversation with them about it instead of snooping through their stuff because then you’re breaking their trust as well.

    My boyfriend knows I go on his facebook, he knows he’s not doing anything wrong and he knows I trust him so he doesn’t care, and I’d let him look at mine if he wanted, he knows the password.

  7. Candie says:
    Thu, 13th Aug 20091:58 pm 

    I’ve snooped in my boyfriend’s facebook, found something I did not like, confronted him about it and admitted that I had snooped. I also promised him I would never do it again, he forgave me and I really, honestly will not do it again. I felt so horrible and guilty about it that it’s just not worth it. And I feel our relationship is stronger than before.

  8. chellechelle says:
    Thu, 13th Aug 20098:20 pm 

    wellll.. i have def snooped. bad bad bad, i know. i kept getting the feeling that something was going on w my bf, really bad gut instinct thing.. then the dreams started. and i’m not someone that automatically thinks something is going on becasue i have a dream about it but i kept having the same dream over and over. him cheating on me with his ex. i told him about it and he said “its really weird you always have these dreams right after i talk to her”. then he started getting texts really late, anddd then calls in the middle of the night. so one night i looked while he was asleep, and did NOT like what i found. sure enough him and his ex had been sending flirty messages back and forth, and they def crossed a line. i found out that he even went out on a date with another girl, and he was “getting to know” ANOTHER girl(who he met once at a party), not ok. but i dunno, i’m not sure its worth it. i confronted him and he appologized, we ended up staying together after that(never do that) but it ruined our relationship. i literally could never trust him after that.

  9. yellowvenus says:
    Tue, 18th Aug 20097:42 am 

    I would snoop too if I were a woman. It is not that you do not trust your partner. It is just human psychology. You are curious about him or her. Who can blame you?

  10. oobunillaoo says:
    Tue, 18th Aug 20092:21 pm 

    i didn’t have to snoop – my exes were pretty blatant about their other affairs, one going so far as to leave the browser up displaying myspace messages between himself and his tranny-channeling-brooke-hogan-kung-fu-slut.

  11. The not-psycho Sara says:
    Tue, 18th Aug 20099:41 pm 

    I’m with the guy on this one: I obsessively refuse to snoop, period. I never have and never will, and its something I feel very very strongly about. My last ex (who ended up becoming abusive) thought I was cheating on him because I wasn’t in the mood anymore (because he was cruel to me) so he went through my phone. Instead of finding messages or phone calls from “the other guy” who didn’t exist, he found a txt from my sister insulting his mother hahahaha. He gave me the silent treatment for weeks for this. I finally got him to admit why he was angry, and made him feel like a stupid fool for doing it. The guy is right: if you suspect him so strongly that you want to snoop, just break up with him.

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