Dear Welcome Week, I LOVE YOU

August 17, 2009     Posted in Back to School, HaHa

kegstand

7 days of keg stands? Heaven.

There is a holiday that exists that, in my heart, surpasses Christmas and even Halloween (which is a pretty bad ass holiday, because it involves drinking, candy, and costumes).  This holiday is Welcome Week.  Oh yes, that’s a holiday, even if it isn’t recognized by calenders or…anyone who doesn’t go to college.  Every school thinks they do Welcome Week the best (and mine actually does, obvs – go green!) and every student does their best to wipe the slate clean (with alcohol) before classes start.


By CC Staff

Now that the end of summer is in sight (thank gawd, I’m so over sweating) and the prospect of yet another semester looms, I am comforted by the fact that before any and all scholastic activities commence I will be obliterated for an entire week.  Oh, the wonders of Welcome Week!  For those of you who don’t know, everyone arrives to school a week early, throws their boxes in a corner of their dorm room and immediately contacts whomever can buy them alcohol.  Then the awesomeness begins.

At my school, tradition dictates that you never sleep in your own dorm during Welcome Week (you just pass the night wherever you had your last drink…usually on the floor of some dorm room/frat house/dirty apartment).  In fact, you rarely sleep.  Instead, your time is spent eating all the junk food you forgot about over the summer and bumping into anyone and everyone with whom you’ve ever had a class, lived in the same building, or hooked up (oh, the joys of bumping into a former one-night stand when you’re all sweaty and half buzzed from the night before).  Oh yeah, and drinking.

Welcome Week is a week of physical activity, the level of which was sadly missing from my summer vacation.  The week before school is one where students relearn the layout of their campus, sometimes painfully (as in, stumbling around looking for the next party, having long ago given up on the prospect of wearing heels anywhere).  Students also have the opportunity to get familiar with their community as they crawl from house party to house party.  Beer pong, flip cup, waterfalls, ice luges, and a million other things are advertised from every porch and patio by the screams and shouts of the adoring population.  Adoring population = me.

After four years of celebrating this most sacred of holidays, my heart has begun to warm at the prospect of a week of debauchery with my school besties.  A glorious fifth year to reign over all that has come before.  Some might ask if I have no shame, partying so hard with people born in an entirely different decade (THE 90′S! HOLY EFF!).  I say no.  No shame for this Spartan.  In fact, I shall use my experience to build a better Welcome Week and to teach all those young disciples coming to my school in the fall.  Here are some sample nuggets of Welcome Week wisdom:

Don’t bring a purse.

Forgo the heels and bring flats.

Always bring your own red cup to parties and an empty Gatorade bottle to hide your pregame liquor.

Keep your cellphone charged and chained to your wrist.

Designate a drinking buddy and don’t separate.

Sleeping is overrated – you’ll have time to sleep when you’re skipping your Friday morning classes during the semester.

And there’s more where that came from.  In fact, I would say that I learn more and gain more life experience from Welcome Week than I do during an entire semester at college.  Here’s to another Welcome Week – let’s see if I make it through a fifth run.  Hope to see some of you there!

23 Comments on "Dear Welcome Week, I LOVE YOU"

  1. Lucy says:
    Mon, 17th Aug 200912:17 pm 

    Haha, awesome. I'm soo excited now!

  2. J says:
    Mon, 17th Aug 20094:09 pm 

    Yuck.

  3. Kelley says:
    Mon, 17th Aug 20094:46 pm 

    whoo i live in Michigan too!!!

  4. Michelle says:
    Tue, 18th Aug 200911:14 am 

    I don't get it. What fun is it to get wasted, throw your guts up, and then pass out in the middle of nowhere? Why would you skip your Friday morning classes anyway? Granted, skipping is healthy once and a while, but regularly? Ever heard of failing? You're paying this much for college only to forgoe what you're suppose to be there for. Huh?

  5. davis says:
    Tue, 18th Aug 200911:44 am 

    Frosh week is one of the most wonderful things this century has brought us. Getting drunk beyond belief every single day for a week is in no way over-rated.

  6. Abby says:
    Tue, 18th Aug 20096:45 pm 

    GO GREEN!!

  7. Chelsea says:
    Wed, 19th Aug 20091:25 pm 

    YEAHH GO STATE!!

  8. Mel says:
    Wed, 19th Aug 20093:49 pm 

    … I'm gonna have to agree with Michelle. I don't get it either. The only "Welcome Week" thing I've ever done is the one the school gives in which free stuff and free food is the big reason for going. :P But otherwise, I'll have to say there's more to life than drinking and parties you don't remember (been there, done that like… twice. Never found the appeal). But I guess everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

  9. ... says:
    Wed, 19th Aug 20099:58 pm 

    Wow, you must go to some pathetic college where grades and academics don’t matter. Enjoy your mediocre life.

  10. yep says:
    Thu, 20th Aug 20094:48 am 

    i go to an extremely exclusive school where grades are very important….and welcome week's exactly the same. open your miiiiiind

  11. pe. riche. says:
    Thu, 20th Aug 20098:08 am 

    @…

    Welcome Week is the week PRIOR to the start of classes, so therefore grades, classes and professors are still seven days away. Welcome Week is the time to get reacquainted with everyone on campus, and a way to celebrate before we have to get down to business. If your college doesn't have a welcome week, then maybe you should transfer.

  12. Thegreek120 says:
    Thu, 20th Aug 200911:50 am 

    I agree. i agree with all of it now and forever. Hope my Welcome Week is just as (if not more) awesome.

  13. wtf says:
    Sat, 22nd Aug 20091:30 am 

    Damn, don't y'all do nothing but drink? What fun is it to get trashed and then not know what the hell happened the night before? Is it "fun" to be smelly, have beer breath, not know who's in the bed next to you, and just overall feel like a crock of shit the next morning? I can be up all night long without going through all that bull. That shit's nasty.

    You can get "reacquainted with others", as you put it, while sober, and, as a bonus, you'll actually remember it.

  14. Bethany says:
    Sun, 23rd Aug 20095:48 pm 

    Cleary she remembers it if she can write a whole article about how much she loves it. My school doesn't have a welcome week pre-classes, but it starts when the upperclassmen move in.

  15. MsMakeItHappen says:
    Wed, 26th Aug 20091:08 am 

    I go to MSU as well and whether you drink or not Welcome Week is hella fun. Everyone has their own way of making the week before classes, which is a combo of meeting old friends and new people and having 7 days of guiltless fun (whatever that means to you), the best 7 days of the school year. I say, do what you feel and don't down someone else's version of fun. I LOVE Welcome Week even though I've never been wasted and don't plan to do so soon but it's still great! Lighten up people!!!

  16. Melissa says:
    Mon, 31st Aug 20097:39 am 

    You guys have an entire week?? We only have a weekend (which is the same weekend we move in – 2 days before classes start). You know, because a state school spending money for what is essentially a week long party during a recession doesn’t sit well with taxpayers. I’m surprised other schools still do it.

  17. Laura says:
    Mon, 31st Aug 20094:51 pm 

    who lives in the dorms past freshmen year?? thats a big part foul at least in the west!

  18. Kat says:
    Mon, 9th Aug 20109:08 am 

    word to the wise (especially for incoming freshmen). Residence staff aren't stupid… they know what you've got in that Gatorade bottle so don't think you're fooling anyone. I can't count the number of times I'd see my frosh out and about with Evian bottles of "water" (read vodka) or bottles of "Coke" (rum and Cokes) and they were usually so plastered they thought I had no idea what they were really drinking.

    Also I don't know how you guys do 'Welcome Week' Stateside but up here in the frozen North, our Welcome Week (often called orientation or O-Week) is a lot more than just drinking. We party it up, but we also throw a lot more events that don't revolve around keg stands.

  19. Nick says:
    Mon, 30th Aug 20101:53 pm 

    Congragulations, I officially think you are an idiot. This whole thing with college is so idiodic. I am away from Mom and Dad now so I'm going to destroy what brain I having by drinking it into oblivion and putting myself at risk to do incredibly stupid things. I sat here and read this, read it twice, then I thought about it for about 10 minutes or so and it is so humiliating; this is what most people in my generation are doing right now. Now, I am not saying that i am some uptight prude who thinks all drinking is bad, no way, a little goes a long way though.

    Why the hell would you want to cause yourself to lose control of yourself, possibly get in dangerous situations, humiliate yourself or end up screwing someone you will always regret screwing. The whole college experience to me seems to just be expensive daycare for people who want to act like idiots, and by "welcoming" younger people to the campus in this way just sets a bad example and keeps the system of corruption that is rotting away American culture and the youth.

    I am ashamed to be a part of this class now, I don't mind some drinking, that's fine, whatever, but when its party all the time, get hammered all night, sleep with whoever, it sickens me.

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