So as I spent another long summer day mourning the loss of LC from my biggest guilty pleasure (yeah, I’m still not over it), a promo for a new MTV show, House of Jazmin, caught my eye. I don’t really get the spelling of her name, but Jaz is young, cute, and bound to have messy, dramatic hookups every week…
It’s no LC, but can Jazmin be the new reality superstar sent to fill the void The Hills has left in my heart?
Maybe we should first establish the fact that no one will ever be able to fill the very chic shoes of Lauren Conrad. As a reality star, she was God. Not too much of a pushover, but not too catty. A serial dater, providing endless opportunities for me to indulge my monogamous self in first date after first date with sexy, California men. And she chose perfect friends, as they gave her loyal friendship for just long enough to have me invested in the relationship… before completely betraying her and shattering both of our hearts.
I think you get the picture; I was basically living an imaginary life as Lauren Conrad’s best friend. (Cry during the Audrina/ LC fight scene with mascara tears…me? Noooo…)
It’s with this LC obsession that I now come upon Jazmin. I’ll admit, there’s potential. She’s bound to run into her share of Kelly Cutrone’s, and watching her get eaten alive may generate sympathy with which I may become invested in her climb to success. But before Jazmin can move in as the LC of MTV’s fall lineup, there are a couple of things about this show that have got to be adjusted.
First of all, the family has got to go. I want to see drama, I want to see hookups; I don’t want to see Jazmin running home to mommy and discussing her problems over a home-cooked meal. And enough with the good girl gone business woman. Have that BFF of hers get a little promscuous, sleep with Jazmin’s boyfriend backstage at a fashion show and then you’ll have me hooked.
I mean, how will she ever finish her line when she is betrayed and heartbroken?
And I’m sure MTV will come through for me. They always do. So, I’m gonna give the show a chance. Jazmin will learn soon enough that to become a successful designer today you don’t have to be a fashion genius; you have to become a paparazzi-hunted socialite (with a sex tape!) whose daily adventures grace the covers of People. After that people will go out and buy a paper bag if it has your name sewn on the inside.
What do you think? Is Jazmin bound to be a hit or will she fail miserably as an LC wannabe? Come back tomorrow to hash it all out after episode numero uno.