Keep The Nasty To Yourself, Please

August 18, 2009 12:00 pm     Posted in HaHa  Melissa - GW g+ page

wedgie copy


By Melissa

I’m the president of the Anti-PDA club.

You wanna express your love with your man? Fine, but keep it in the bedroom. No one needs to see you shoving your tongue down his throat (or your hand down his pants) when they’re going about their daily business.

And you know what else we don’t want to see? You shoving your hand down your own pants to adjust those boy shorts that keep creeping up your crack. Seriously, people, there are some things that should be left in the privacy of your own room/car/bathroom. Let’s make a deal, shall we? You keep the following disgusting habits to yourself and I get to keep my lunch down.

Deal?
Deal.

Loogies
Ew, ew and more ew.   As if the sound hawking up some phlegm isn’t bad enough, having to actually witness that slop drip from someone’s mouth is just plain disgusting.

Nail clipping
Sadly way too common, people think it’s okay to just clip their nails (and toenails!) in the office, the train, the bus, in class, etc.  But no, no, no. That is not, in any way, okay. Seriously, no one needs to see your clippings shoot across the room and they definitely don’t want to have to sit down on the remains. And, PS, filing those talons isn’t OK either. The sound of a file against nails? Shudder.

Using snot filled tissues to clean your snot filled nose
I get it; no matter how gross the sound of whatever is coming out of there, sometimes you just have to blow your nose. But that doesn’t mean that grabbing a dry, already-used something out of your pocket and then using it again (only to then stuff it back into your pocket) is okay!  Ok, so you’re trying to be green, but there are other people around. And we can see the leftovers. Smearing across your face. OMG, barf.

Picking…well anything.
I understand that sitting in lecture halls in college is actually painful, (well, painful is an understatement), but that does not mean that picking your face apart in order to pass the time is acceptable. Zits and scabs shouldn’t really be picked at in the first place, but if you must, do it in private. AND, keep your hands out of your ears. Picking ear wax is nothing short of nasty.  Q Tips were invented for a reason.

Adjusting down below
It could be itching, picking your wedgie, whatever.  No one really needs to see you do it.  Attempting to do it subtly is one thing, even though there is no way to play with your junk subtly, but going elbow deep to adjust that thong should be punishable by law. For real.

Public bathrooms may be gross, dirty, and definitely smelly, but they are the one place where it is acceptable (in a stall, please!) to do your nasty deeds.  Respect other people in public and keep your dirty self to your dirty self.

14 Comments on "Keep The Nasty To Yourself, Please"

  1. oobunillaoo says:
    Tue, 18th Aug 20099:29 am 

    i occasionally have to readjust my femme wedge in public. i am as embarrassed of doing this myself as i am repulsed when i see anybody else doing it.

  2. Heather says:
    Tue, 18th Aug 200912:39 pm 

    Totally agree with almost everything (especially the loogies ewww)..except “Using snot filled tissues to clean your snot filled nose”. It’s pretty gross to re-use a tissue you used to blow your nose, but sometimes (read: always because my allergies are out of control) I use the same tissue to wipe my runny nose..Hey sometimes there’s nothing else around..and it’s better than licking it or wiping with your hand lol

  3. erin says:
    Tue, 18th Aug 200912:40 pm 

    Some of these are justifiable as yes very gross and can be saved till you go into a bathroom. However it seems you have never had a cold an run out of tissue. I know your going to say “but you can use toilet paper”. Well sometimes there is just no time to go, I know you must never have had this feeling, but sometimes it feel like the snot will our out of your nose..RIGHT NOW! So you have to use something. And maybe you never thought of this but have you seen the price of tissue? it’s alot, but thats no excuse for not using a new piece when you have it. On to wedgies..once again you clearly are miss perfect and have never had one where you have to fix it now. I don’t mind people fixing that so long as you don’t put your hands down your pants. I know we can’t all be as perfect as the writer but we can all try.

  4. erin says:
    Tue, 18th Aug 200912:39 pm 

    Yeah, wedgies are part of life just like crying babies in public, you just have to tolerate other people fixing it, it's not like you want to actually fix it in public but it's life. We are human you can get over it.

  5. shari says:
    Tue, 18th Aug 200911:37 pm 

    can we add "sticking your finger into your eye to get out eye goop…and even worse, exmining it afterward"" ewww.

  6. Trisiana says:
    Fri, 21st Aug 20094:17 pm 

    Sometimes the eye thing is necessary when you wear contacts. Not the examining (unless you want to know what felt like concrete under your contact) part.

  7. Catie says:
    Thu, 27th Aug 20096:13 pm 

    I have to admit that I scratch my head/pick at my scalp occasionally when I'm in class. It kind of keeps me focused, which I know is weird, and it probably bothers others, but other people do louder, more obnoxious things like tapping their feet on the floor or their fingers or pens on the desk, clicking their tongues on the tops of their mouths, smacking their chewing gum, etc, so I feel entitled to play with my dander.

  8. Liselle says:
    Sun, 30th Aug 20098:38 pm 

    I completely re-use tissues and spend a great deal of my spare time picking scabs in public. Excessive scratching too >.>

  9. Alicia says:
    Fri, 11th Dec 20099:51 am 

    Haha, I'm totally guilty of the picking wedgies in public thing. Yeah, it's really bad. Oops.

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