Beer Bong In Your Butt (For Serious)

Ever have one of those nights where you just really wanted to get drunk (we’re not judging!) but no matter what you throw down the hatch it just won’t happen? You try everything: shots, bongs, mixing your beverages. But even after all that work, you’re still far, far away from making poor decisions.

Yeah, it’s pretty sucky, I know. But no matter how desperate you get, you wouldn’t do something as sick, disturbing and really grosstastic as this, would you?

Who thinks of this sorta stuff?! Sure, I’d like to get drunk without all those pesky calories, but sticking a beer bong up your booty is a bit much, no? Plus, one of the best parts of drinking is the social aspect; I can’t imagine my friends would want to join me in the bathroom as I shove a (super sized) vodka-soaked tampon in my cooch.

I am incredibly disturbed that people actually think this is a good idea, but even more disturbed by the fact that my mouth has touched many, many beer bongs in my time. Lord only knows where those things have been before.

I need a cocktail.
In my mouth.
Not my lady parts, thankyouverymuch.

Sandy says:
Wed, 26th Aug 20093:39 pm

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

i had a friend that did this. I was not present but from what I heard it was one of the most disgusting moments in human history. Yall don’t want to know anymore than that. But it did apparently get him very intoxicated.

B says:
Wed, 26th Aug 20099:42 pm

that’s fucking nasty.

the dog that ponders says:
Wed, 26th Aug 200910:31 pm

oh god … i’m gonna hurl, oh wait no I’m not, becuase I drank beer through my ass not my mouth…good grief!

The Claw says:
Fri, 28th Aug 20099:00 am

lol, obviously the phrase “beer bong” means something completely different in the USA to what it does in Australia..

EE2 says:
Fri, 28th Aug 20097:22 pm

Back in the bad old days of communism in Eastern Europe, university students used to do this, but usually with the cheapest booze they could find. It took far less alcohol to get hammered anally than by drinking it, so it was a way to stretch a zloty.