Sexy Time: The Baby Talkers

August 27, 2009     Posted in Relationships

baby talk copy

"No, I wuv you more, honey bunny on a farm."

We’ve all heard them. They’re that annoying couple on the subway, the friends you cringe when out in public with, hell, you might even BE one of them some day. Who are these people? Let me introduce you.

10

“Oh smoochey wumpkins, are you weady for your sweepy times?”

Say hello to the baby talkers.

It is a well-known fact that certain people, when speaking with a significant other, resort to a form of speech better reserved for infants and puppy-dogs. I’m embarrassed to admit that I, myself, have become a baby talker. I don’t know how it started, but conversations with my boyfriend have gone from intelligent, grown-up topics to a mess of squeaky voices and poor vocabulary.

My question is why? What motivates two seemingly put-together adults to resort to toddler-speak the second they fall in love? Maybe it’s because we know each other so well by this point that we have run out of topics for adult conversations, or maybe we’re just too lazy to use proper grammar.

Believe it or not, research has been done on baby talk in romantic relationships, and I’m happy to put my psychology degree to use interpreting it for you. Meredith Bombar and Lawrence Littig found that baby-talkers may be doing something right! They were more secure and less avoidant in their relationships. They propose that this is because baby talk plays a role in creating warm emotional connections. Baby talk allows individuals to abandon adult roles and become vulnerable, nurturing, endearing and silly.

Baby talk shows that couples have let their guard down, and are no longer afraid of being embarrassed around each other. Baby talk also serves as a sort of private language between the two, creating a special type of communication that they reserve only for each other. This article on msnbc.com has a great quote from Carol Bruess, Ph.D.: “You are saying, symbolically, that you care enough about the other person and the relationship to develop your own way of speaking… You’ve got your own private world, your own mini culture.”

Sadly, none this makes it any less annoying to outside parties. No matter how much you wuv that person.

Do you baby talk or know anyone who does?

10 Comments on "Sexy Time: The Baby Talkers"
  1. Jenny says:
    Thu, 27th Aug 20097:31 am 

    Admittedly, I do baby-talk with my boyfriend a lot, but never in public. It's good to know that baby-talk has a positive meaning in relationships!

  2. hunnysweet62 says:
    Sun, 25th Oct 20099:27 am 

    i want female

  3. dan says:
    Fri, 18th Jun 20105:05 am 

    I had to find out. This has a positive revelation. My girlfriend began to baby talk/poor grammer just recently (6 weeks). It had my concerned she was taking the power the word 'love' and replacing it with 'wuv'. To me it meant that she wanted to downplay the emotion between us. Whew

  4. ashado says:
    Tue, 26th Apr 20111:14 pm 

    I find the opposite, a form of manipulation (?) and it's very annoying all the time! He isn't cute about it, it's like he's a four year old or claims the dog "said so" in this speech. Only in private but not out in the public. I asked him if he was on meds. I asked him to stop but he won't. We've been dating for 7 months.

    What do you think about this? Abusive/manipulation ? Help!

  5. InternatnlSoftCheeks says:
    Tue, 27th Dec 201110:32 pm 

    My husband and I baby talk to each other. We're in our mid-thirties and have been together since we were teenagers. I think it comes from pure affection. For us it is not manipulative. Although, maybe in some contexts and from certain people it might be manipulative.

    My husband and I usually keep our baby talking under wraps in front of other people. But, just this weekend over Christmas my mother and his mother were staying with us. And in our home, when we are feeling our most comfortable it slips out here and there. My mother never hesitates to complain about it. And honestly, it has made me feel less comfortable about having my mother visit if she is going to be critical and judgmental.

  6. stefanie says:
    Thu, 12th Jan 20129:45 am 

    I’m glad to know baby talk is a good thing! I never did it with the last guy I was with whom I dated for two years but since I have rekindled an old flame its all the time! Must be love! :)

  7. Kat says:
    Sun, 22nd Jan 20127:02 pm 

    My boyfriend does this to me and it makes me NUTS. I feel like he is insecure and less of a man. Or just plain lazy talk. “Can I use your puter?” GRR. I want to scream “grow up.”

  8. charlie says:
    Wed, 1st Feb 201210:45 pm 

    chill out people that are too serious,, I say puter all the time and in normal speak, remember the reflection theory girl who is scared of manipulation

Tell us what you're thinking...