What She Really Thinks Of… Guy Denim Trends

Now that we’re about ready to trade in our gladiator sandals for boots and our tank tops for, well, tank tops with sweaters, I tried to search the web for other denim trends as a follow-up to last week’s post on bleached jeans. What popped up instead was this:

By Vivian

Before this, I’ve seen some silly pants on guys, but I’ve always kept my mouth shut because who am I to talk? They put up with my hundred-dollar-stiletto cravings, don’t they? (And they carry me home at the end of the night when those hundred-dollar silettos give me hundred-dollar blisters.) But what gets me this time is that this particular pair of jeans retails for about $550. [Yes, I‘m serious! FIVE HUNDRED.]

I don’t get it. Maybe it’s a guy thing, because all I saw when I looked at these was this:

And the more I thought about it, the more I realized how weird some guy trends really are. So now I’d like to interrupt our weekly segment of “What He Really Thinks…” and turn it over to you ladies to judge these pieces of incomprehensible male fashion. But to be fair, I’ve taken some comments from the peanut gallery. You know, to give them a chance to defend themselves see the light:

(Jeans above)
The BF, Rutgers University
BF: “Bah-da-buh-buh-buhh… I’m lovin’ it.” It’s either that or he sat on something.
Me: “Those cost $500.”
BF: For five hundred dollars those jeans better wipe my #$% for me.
Me: ….
BF: … No, seriously? Cause I have some old jeans from that painting job if anyone’s interested. Come see me on eBay.

Photographer, The Art Institute of Houston:
Photog: Hey.. she’s got a pretty nice ass.
Me: “That’s a guy.”
Photog: OHH! OMFG. WTH is wrong with you? Why would you show me that?
Me: “Because YOU’RE wearing a pair of guy skinnies?”
Photog: Yeah, but they’re not that tight. Besides, I started wearing them first. I hate how everyone’s trying to be all ‘avant garde’ now, just because it’s ‘in.’ I did it forever ago.
Me: “Yeah whatever, you just checked out another guy’s ass.”

Premed, NYU:
Pre-doc: WHY IS HE WEARING A PURSE?!
Me: “I don’t know. But what do you think of the jeans? Would you wear these?”
Pre-doc: No.

J., USP: I have purple skinny jeans. That’s just my style. I think they’re cool. They’re a lot more comfortable than you’d think. Just lose the purse. That’s never cool on a guy.

V, Kean University - Haha! Throwback. I used rock my pants like that back in the day. That was the sh*t from grammar school to high school. But then you go to college and you grow out of it. You “Kayne it up,” ya know?

Little Brother, 12:
Me: “You know Mom would never let you leave the house like this, right? Ever.”
Lil bro: Yup.

Ok, so this is just a taste of the dude trends I’m not understanding. I’d love to hear what you girls think of these hot messes.  Leave a comment below!