Project Runway Rundown: Babies Kinda Scare Me

Ever since that horrible live birth video they made us watch in sex-ed in 5th grade, I’ve been disinclined to anything baby-related. Heidi Klum may look great pregnant, but there’s nothing pretty about a giant head poking out of a screaming woman’s…yeah.

By Brithny

Anyway, after discovering that last night’s runway challenge was for super pregnant Rebecca Romijn, I sorta freaked out. I mean, she was really pregnant. What if she gave birth right there next to the runway?! I totally agreed with Logan when he said designing maternity clothes wasn’t really his “thing” and that babies scared him.

OMG, babies scare me too!

But I put away my fears because the smiley, lovely Rebecca Romijn from one of my favorite shows, Ugly Betty, was a guest judge. Not everyone could be as awesome a tranny as she can. I felt bad when she delivered her news, though (of the challenge, not the baby). Almost all the designers had never done maternity-wear before and they were lookin’ scared! Things were sure to be a mess. A hot, tranny mess.

I was surprised on the runway, however; most of the gowns were gorgeous! It made me almost reconsider my 5th grade vow-to-self to adopt… almost (I don’t think anything could ever wipe those terrifying birthing images from my mind). I could never tell the difference between Shirin and Irina before but now I know: Irina is cute but Shirin is cuter (which is why she won, of course). Epperson continued to create masterpieces worthy of display at the MET (a pregnant jumpsuit cannot be easy to make…or wear), and Christopher is still manly but sensitive to women’s curves.

Chris, if you ever switch back to your original team, call me.

But for the second week running, for one particular designer there was just no hope at all. This episode might as well have been titled, “Hatin’ On Mitchell.” And with good reason. All jokin’ aside, you know you’re a bad designer when:

A) All the models groan when you’re picked to stay.
B) The model you pick throws her hands up in despair and says she got stuck with the worst designer.
C) Your model says you can’t sew. (Awww SNAP!)

Yet somehow, once again, he sneaks on by and makes it another week.

I don’t know about you, but I WANT MALVIN BACK!!  At least he had a legitimate concept, however kooky it may be. Mother hen with hen is way more creative than skanky schoolgirl with booty almost showing (and last week’s woodland maid frock with booty definitely showing).

If only this season of Project Runway wasn’t taped 18 months ago. I’d totally grab my picket sign and protest outside of FIDM.