Overheard: Parks and Recreation

By John

Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!

(Guys, walking through a grove on-campus.)

Guy: Nice day… birds, blue skies, not a cloud in sight. Yup. This rock looks pretty good to take a crap on.

(Older student, talking to high schooler on campus tour.)

Student: There’s actually a statistic, I think, something like 30 percent of the liquid of water parks is urine.

High schooler: Yeah, that sounds pretty reasonable. That’s about right.

Student: What the f***? No it’s not! That would be disgusting!

(Guy, preparing Mexican food.)

Guy: I love cilantro. It makes everything taste like it’s just been rinsed in a mountain waterfall.

(Old lady, talking to students at the thrift store.)

Lady: That foot locker can be used as both storage and a coffee table!

Student: I’m sorry, but it’s hideous. We’re not buying it.

(Crowd of girls, playing Jeopardy.)

Girl: Wait. Chinese god of war… who was also a god of literature. That must be Gandhi, right?

Girl 2: Yeah, I think so.

(A guy, losing it on the phone.)

Guy: No, no. That’s too late. I need to get tested now.

(Guy, alone on a computer.)

Guy: Hey! You can’t say “boobs” on the Internet!

(Two guys, talking in the Student Union.)

Guy 1: So how was the camping trip?

Guy 2: It was fine. The deer stole all our graham crackers.

Guy 1: The cutest little larcenists!

(Girl, furious.)

Girl: Damnit! I have to Tide-to-Go my boob.

(Middle-aged man on the phone.)

Man: Fir trees are the only type of tree known to give live birth.

(Father and children, talking to a park ranger)

Father: It was like, you know, poop – kinda mushy, but with some green bits in it. Berries, maybe seeds.  Do you think it could have been bear poop?

Child: Dad, please, just show the ranger our permit.