Super Mario is super naughty.

Has the economy begun to recover?

Someone really doesn’t like Jessica Simpson.

Kara DioGuardi wants Paula back.

Pandas make everything cuter.

Kelly Clarkson is comfortable in her skin.

The week is officially over people, and I have to say that brings a sigh of relief from my end of the computer.  I’m not sure what made this week such a doozy, but it’s over now and I can start planning my date with icy, fruity alcoholic-filled drinks (watermelon soju = best summer drink ever).   Now that I know how many delicious Mai Tai’s will kill me, I can plan my night accordingly.

August is here and with it (I’m hoping) comes some consistent summer weather.  I didn’t really plan my summer wardrobe well enough to include the necessary rain accessories for the monsoon season we’ve been having.  Therefore I’ve been staying inside a lot…and cabin fever has definitely set in.  Not only have I packed on a couple pounds from avoiding the rain-soaked jog to the gym, I’ve also started acting a bit more wild than usual.  It turns out that working out may not actually make me thinner anyway, so I guess I’m stuck inside eating Cheetos and watching Hulu.

Another effect of the incredibly rainy/wickedly hot first week of August is that my libido has gone into overdrive (I think it must be confused by all the weather changes).  That cute guy at the bar I’ve been creepin’ on all night?  I think we might end up getting engaged…for a few hours (if not purely to end my rainy-day boredom).  Then again, if we’ve been at the bar for awhile, he might need a little “pick me up”, such as a deliciously covert piece of gum. Let’s just hope we can avoid any bedroom weirdness…

Finally, because it’s August, I can look forward to going back to college.  There are so many things I’m excited about and topping the list would be my group of school friends (in addition to massive amounts of drink specials and late-night library fun).  Let the countdown to Welcome Week begin, ladies!

So ABC’s new show, “Dating in the Dark,” is weird. Like, really weird. Three girls and three guys meet in the pitch dark, often make out, and then get to see one another. They then have to decide if they want to go on actual dates with the people they have just seen.

Wait, that’s not so weird. It sounds like the same thing that happens nightly in college bars from coast to coast. Only on TV.

Much like the feeling of repulsion that has come over many of us after last call, the people on the show who really hit it off in the dark aren’t such fans of each other once the lights flip on.

Now, maybe it’s just me, but this doesn’t really cast people in the best light (no pun intended), right?

Maybe it’s because I’m most often attracted to a guy’s personality before I start to find him cute, but I can’t imagine rejecting a dude on the basis of looks alone if I’ve already felt a strong connection with him. I wouldn’t date a guy that I wasn’t attracted to, but personality totally takes a guy from zero to ten (OK, maybe 5 to 10). If I liked him in the dark, especially enough for a little tonsil hockey, I’d like to think I’d be happy in the light, too.

But that is not what’s happening here. Read More »

Something weird is happening. After a month of bitching that I don’t get asked out on dates enough, I canceled a third date. With a cute law student. If she were dead, my grandmother would be rolling in her grave right now…but instead she’s screaming at me that she’s never going to have great grandchildren.

To be honest, the boy is absolutely perfect on paper: attractive, on a similar career path as me, personable, polite… did I already say attractive? That counts as two.

But I have found a number of little, tiny reasons to be not-so-attracted to him. I don’t like the guy because he has this rare disease that causes him to spell absolutely everything wrong in his text messages. We’re not talking a mere omission of commas, I mean “Z’s” where “S’s” should be. It is a nuclear war on grammar. Read More »

Although it’s a pleasure usually reserved for high school students and younger, I still get excited about what to wear on the first day of school.  In college, nobody cares what you wear to class (as exemplified by the large numbers of sweatpants and over-sized t-shirts I see in the lecture halls), but I still like that feeling of picking out a special outfit and preparing myself for another semester.

Apparently I’m not the only one who identifies school with fashion: Harvard has signed a licensing deal to release their own line of clothing. “Harvard Yard,” an homage to the Harvard students of the 60′s, is super preppy and academic…and Harvard’s attempts at getting out of their giant funding hole.

But, dayummmmm, those boys look good! Read More »

Let’s face it – August is a hard month for shopping. Everywhere you go, window displays scream mohair and motorcycle boots, but you are still sittin’ pretty (and very happily) in your flowery sundress, thankyouverymuch. And while you know you should be looking to invest in a good pair of boots to walk through the slushy snow in just a few months (ew), you would much rather peruse the racks upon racks of summer dresses that are cute and – um – ON MAJOR SALE.

I mean seriously, $200 dresses on sale for $40? I don’t care if it’s negative 30 outside – we can find a way to wear these badboys a little while longer. Who says you have to part with floral the second the leaves start falling from the trees?

Here’s a way to be stylish and savvy: reuse and rewear your favorite summer frocks. Just pair them with some thick tights, a boyfriend blazer or leather bomber, a scarf, some booties or boots and – presto chango – your springtime floral is instantly ready for a stroll with a pumpkin spice latte (the one good thing about cold weather).

Here are 3 options of summery looks that you can take well into fall, but feel free to try this with most summer dresses in your wardrobe! Read More »

I. Love. Purses.
Love.
I have big purses, little purses, designer purses, cheap purses, leather purses, nylon purses…
But a purse that looks like a giant vagina?
I could fit so much in there! (That’s what she said.)

In my experience, musicians are vain, self-absorbed creatures who live for their instruments (much like any art form).  Since one of my majors is studio art, I am constantly surrounded by self-proclaimed artists and their idiosyncrasies.  Therefore, I can understand why some people in the music business act in a certain way.  They can’t help it, they’re artists!

The art department of any university is a strange place and it takes a special kind if person to put themselves through the torture that is any art class.  I’m sure the music business is the same way.  That is why when I see “artists” like The Pussycat Dolls or P. Diddy, I’m not exactly surprised.  However, once in a while there comes a person who is so terrifically self-absorbed that it shocks (and annoys) even other artists.  Enter:  Kanye West.  And John Mayer.

This installment of Celebretard Showdown could easily be called The Douchebag Edition, considering our subjects.  Who is more pretentious?  Who has talent and who just has a big mouth?  So many questions, so little time (let’s face it: there’s only so much time you can spend reading Kanye West quotes before losing all faith in humanity and wanting to smash something). Read More »

"Hey, mama - did you get that text I just sent?"

I am, without a doubt, addicted to technology. I spend 10 hours a day in front of my computer and the minute I step away, I’m checking my email/Facebook/Twitter/IMs/stock market reports from my iPhone. (Note: stock market reports are a real downer these days.)

When I’m out with friends, I’m constantly checking to see if anyone has texted/emailed/called. Or looking things up on Google maps. Or getting Yelp reviews for anything and everything we might be doing over the course of the evening.

And, obvi, I’m uploading pictures and status updates the entire time.

I have a problem and I know it. My addiction to technology is taking over my life and, despite the fact that I am always an email or text (fromlastnight) away from anyone, all this “connection” is really ruining me. I can’t even go to the bathroom without my phone anymore. And, yes, that’s a true statement.

I know I’m not alone, so this week I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share their personal peeves with technology. What are yours?

Kathryn – University of Wisconsin-Madison: People who have really personal cell phone conversations in really public places. I definitely do not want to hear about your latest sexcapades and either does the rest of the room. I’m embarrassed for you.

Anna – Northeastern University: I hate when people have to research online reviews on everything, from the restaurant they want to get dinner at to the movie they want to see. Nobody can be spontaneous anymore!

Read More »

She makes me look like the Virgin Mary.

Miley Cyrus has some slutty sisters.

Hey there, Ryan Gosling. Come to mama.

Lady language decoded.

Who is this Alexa Chung chica?

Whoa, Britney’s lookin’ good!