Ugh...

This summer is my last summer at home. While most of you can relate when I say that I’m ecstatic (believe me, I am), it may not be for the reason everyone expects. Read: living with the parents breathing down my neck.

You see, when I go home, I gain weight. Not just 3 or 4 pounds, but this summer I put on 10. freakin. pounds. Yes, I know this is my own fault, so don’t get on my case for knowing better, but I know I’m not alone. There is something about the summer that just means extra poundage. So how about we take a closer look at what goes on during the summer months so we can stop the madness?!?!

1) The campus gym is no longer 5 min away - Ok, this one hit me pretty hard. I love having a free gym at my disposal! No way am I going to pay buckets of money to use an elliptical in my hometown.

2) When it’s fifty million degrees outside, you want to stay in – I’m one of those people that no matter how far away my class is, I’d rather walk than take the campus shuttle. Well, with no class to go to, I have nowhere to walk. Also, I live in west Texas where it’s been over 100 degrees every day for the past month. Going on a walk for exercise is out of the question; I don’t want to burst into flames! Read More »

A breastfeeding baby doll? Ew.

What does Lauren Conrad know about modeling?

Tim Tebow. Muscles. Sweat. Droooool.

Oklahoma really likes Angelina Jolie.

Is Penn State really the best party school?

Lay off the spray tan, Channing Tatum.

This week might be the most random mix of reviews ever. Seriously, ever. I even surprised myself a bit.

I was ready to love who I already loved and hate who I wanted to hate, but that’s not at all what happened. The one album I was most excited for fell flat. And the one I barely even wanted to listen to (and would rather throw out my window) I kinda liked. A little too much. To the point where I had to force myself to turn it off.

I’m going to warn you right now: don’t listen to Ashley Tisdale if you aren’t into Disney pop music. Because you’ll probably end up enjoying it. And then feeling pretty embarrassed. Especially when you can’t get enough and want to blast it from your car and the people who pull up next to you can hear it…and judge you. Read More »

Bill Clinton’s still got it.

Find those hidden calories and beat ‘em.

Lady Gaga and Beyonce sweep VMA nominations.

But Brit is close behind!

Is this the future of hip hop?

10 secrets men are keeping from us.

Thanks to my Jewish mother, I’m the kind of girl that is always prepared for everything. People are constantly making fun of me and my 30lb purses, but that’s what happens when you carry around anything you could possibly need in a day: bleach pen, gum, band-aids, tampons, candy (lots and lots of candy), hand cream, multiple lip balms, hair care products, multiple cans of Diet Coke, etc.

I really thought I covered all my bases until I ended up in a situation to which I had no fix: a guy who couldn’t get it up.

At first I was distressed that I had done something wrong. Were my legs too hairy? My tan lines unattractive? Did he prefer girls with more than a landing strip?

After I got over that (“Uh, hello, the guy last week didn’t seem to have any issues!”), I still couldn’t shake the disappointment in myself. That was the first time in a long time that I was unable to reach into my Mary Poppins bag and pull out a cure. I mean, it’s not like I’m going to carry a penis pump in a Marc Jacobs bag (what would Marc think of me?!), but at the same time, there has to be something I can do to prevent further unfortunate occurrences. Read More »

So I know you’re thinking: “How can you get anything for under $20 at a department store like Macy’s?”

I get it – sometimes I feel like I can’t even afford to breathe the air in that store and I am doomed to spend my life lusting for everything on the over-stuffed racks. But I’m here to tell you it’s not impossible.  Macy’s is all about the discounts and they always have a giant selection in the clearance racks. Most of the stuff is under $50 and a giant chunk of that is under $20! You just need to know where to look for ‘em.

Here are a few of my personal favorites right now. And, yes, a lot of this stuff can take you right into fall: Read More »

Ladies, if you ever get the feeling that guys are always staring at you, it’s probably not paranoia. According to a recent study, men spend 43 minutes of their day ogling women, many of them up to 10 girls a day. That equals a year over their lifetime.

That’s a lot of drool.

But I suppose it’s unfair to talk about men with roving eyes when the study also mentions women’s habits. It found that women ogle men for 20 minutes a day (six months of their lives) and up to six men each day. Now, I can definitely attest to that, having been guilty of eying hunky specimens on many an occasion in the past, but at least I’m not wasting as much time as the dudes.

Guys really dedicate a lot of time to checking out girls. Think about it. Men spend a year ogling women. A year. That’s a lot of time to do anything, let alone look at someone’s chest/butt (or “eyes,” as they’d like you to think). Although it is spread out over the course of a lifetime, imagine what a man could do with one extra year’s worth of time on his hands? On second thought, I’d rather not.

Here’s another thought: If men spend 43 minutes of the day looking at women, then how much time do they spend on other daily activities? Read More »

How many times have you been hunched over a toilet bowl/garbage can/bush after a night of drinking, promising God that if he lets you live through the night you will never drink again? Obviously, if it’s more than once, you are a big fat liar. But that’s not the point.

The point is that you went a little too far with the shots and now you are teetering on death. Or so you think.

Imagine a life where you wouldn’t have to have that convo with the big guy upstairs. A life where you knew just how much you could drink and still live to see another day. A life where, sure, you may barf up that Dominos Cheesy Bread you just ate, but at least you wouldn’t fear that regurgitated mess would be the last thing you’d ever see.

Well, it’s here. Just type in your stats and find your RIP limit. Read More »

I’ve learned a lot about myself in these months since I’ve graduated. Most importantly I’ve learned that I have severe and occasionally life-threatening problem with jealously. I like my friends, some more than others, and I want them to do well. However I don’t want them to do well until I’m doing well. That’s fair, right?

It takes enormous amounts of effort for me to congratulate a friend upon hearing they got a job. Literally, I have to type one letter at a time while I suffer from a self-induced panic attack. I practically have to have Xanax on hand 24/7 in case I get one of those excited voice mails (I no longer answer the phone, too risky having to fake enthusiasm) telling me that someone got offered a job. Read More »

Question for Tuffy? Email TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and get it answered, girl!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Tuffy, I am so sick of men. I mean it. I just can’t take it any more. They all just break my heart. I’m in college–isn’t this supposed to be a time when it’s fun to just meet guys? Dating is horrible and I never meet anyone good anyway, unless I do and then they always just ruin it somehow. I seriously thought about experimenting with women but my lesbian friends say girls aren’t any better. I think I’m just going to swear off love forever. Please tell me I’m wrong.

Out of Love

Dear Out of Love,

You’re wrong.

No, for real, though. Honey, you are WAY too young to swear off love. When you’re old and you only eat prunes and have no teeth, then, and only then, if you’re alone, give me a call.

The question you should ask yourself is–why? Why does every relationship, every date turn out so awfully? Are you dating the wrong kind of guys? Lots of girls date craptastic guys because they feel like they deserve it or because they think they can fix them. Girl, ain’t never been no one can fix a bad man. Period. Read More »