I Call Bullsh*t on Chris Brown

In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past 8 months, Chris Brown was arrested and charged for assaulting his former girlfriend, Rihanna. Now, in an interview with old-man interviewer Larry King, Mr. Brown is saying that he can’t really believe it happened, as if he magically left his body and wasn’t there when the entire brawl went down.

Based on my experience watching Law and Order marathons, I am well aware that people sometimes have fits of rage where they do crazy ish and don’t remember. But seeing that Chris Brown has been on YouTube apologizing to Rihanna and fans (and never once mentioning this out of body experience), I’m pretty sure that night is etched into his brain foreverrrr (sorry, just had to do it).

You don’t fool me for one second, Chris Brown. You’re talking to the queen of  “That happened? I did that? Wow, I don’t remember!” I know it’s hard to admit to your wrongdoings sometimes and it’s so. much. easier to pretend you blacked it all out (“I did what with the bouncer?!”), but man up! While it’s an effective tactic, Chistopher, it only works for little things. You know, the ones that don’t involve plea bargains and jail times.

Allow me to demonstrate.

Acceptable use of “I forgot!”:
“Oh my gosh, Lindsey! I totally don’t remember throwing up on your new shoes last night! I must have been really drunk.”  Everyone points, laughs and forgets about it.

Unacceptable use of “I forgot!”:
“No sh*t, man! I gave my girlfriend a black eye and totally don’t remember! HAHA!”

Um…no. I doubt anyone will point, laugh or forget about that night.

Good try, Chris Brown. I’ll give you some props for your attempt at trying to pull a fast one on me, but I’m not buying it for one second. Be a man and accept responsibility for your actions. Not that it matters – I’m pretty sure it won’t be long before everyone forgets about you.