No Facebook = Social Suicide?

September 1, 2009 - 5:00 pm By Noa - CU Boulder

facebook.jpgI don’t trust people who aren’t on Facebook.

It’s weird, I know, but FB is like peanut butter and jelly: you must be some sort of freak if you’ve never tried it. (OK, or you have some severe allergy, but that doesn’t fit with my analogy so let’s move on.) Facebook is at the epicenter of our generation’s world, so anyone who isn’t on there is weird, right? I mean, how do you live without Facebook?

How do you learn about people?
See pictures?
Know what’s going on in your friends’ lives?!
Update everyone on your own life without tons and tons of phone calls?

But maybe I’m not so weird for feeling this way. Matthew Myron, an author who recently studied online privacy, has gone as far as saying that not being on Facebook is social suicide. ”Many people feel they have to be a part of Facebook to socialize. Such sites are the modern equivalent of a mobile phone. They have grown into fashion accessories and they are a must-have for people who don’t want to be social outcasts.”

Myron speaks mostly in regards to status updates and wall posts, but his point is even truer than he knows. When people have parties, they invite guests via Facebook. When people have birthdays, we send them messages (and are notified!) via Facebook. When people have anything to say, we say it all on Facebook.

And when someone doesn’t have Facebook, we think they are freaks hiding something.

Are those things even replacements for in-person chats or phone conversations?  Is someone’s profile a fair way to judge them? Probably not, but that is how we roll in “generation me” and anyone who is not a part of that will be left behind and out of the know when it comes to weekend ragers.

We may not want to admit it, but Facebook is a huge part of (and maybe the basis of) our social lives in college. Not being on there might be worse for your social status than being “that girl” at a party or keeping your door closed the first week of freshman year. Or even being that annoying status updater who lets everyone know where they are at every possible second/puts up ambiguous statements that are just begging for attention. Ugh, those people are annoying.

But at least I can Facebook-stalk them.

Seriously, even my mom has FB. If you don’t, you barely exist to me.

What do you think?

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50 Comments on "No Facebook = Social Suicide?"

  1. Star says:
    Tue, 1st Sep 20095:22 pm 

    Ah Facebook. I do love it, but it’s also a great way to completely ruin someone’s life forever. Can anyone say hacking?

  2. elizabeth says:
    Tue, 1st Sep 20095:24 pm 

    Oh spoken like a true college student that parties Thur-Sun and mooches off the parents.Facebook is not that interesting in my opinion. Just as myspace has slowly faded so will facebook.Not having a facebook doesnt mean you`re hiding something it just means you have a life besides constantly checking your facebook and updating it. You dont have to have a facebook to be someone to others if you think that way then thats unfortunate!!!!

  3. sarah says:
    Tue, 1st Sep 20095:47 pm 

    elizabeth… COOL.

    facebook is important in our lives, it’s just our generation and people like elizabeth are just going to have to face the facts that even people who don’t party and mooch off of their parents have facebooks. I have a facebook and I’m paying for my own college. so take that elizabeth.

  4. michael says:
    Tue, 1st Sep 20096:22 pm 

    Sarah,

    The point wasn’t that people mooch off their parents. It was that it might be a good idea to place value in things that are actually important, not whether or not someone is on facebook.

    Even the Wall Street Journal wrote a piece critical of social networking and twitter over the weekend.

  5. Stephanie PTY says:
    Tue, 1st Sep 20098:23 pm 

    There’s a difference between having a facebook account, and obsessively using facebook. People who don’t have a facebook account seem to fail to acknowledge this. Having a facebook account means I’m open to social interaction. It doesn’t mean I spend all of my time updating a useless status, playing FarmTownVilleCityWhatevs, or facebook stalking people. Facebook is what you make it… unless you refuse to use it at all.

  6. Sam says:
    Tue, 1st Sep 200910:11 pm 

    I deleted my facebook a few months ago. I never really was into the trend of it. It always seemed like a popularity contest and bragging via photos of all the “cool” things everyone did.

  7. Lucy says:
    Tue, 1st Sep 200911:16 pm 

    I have had a facebook for a long time and recently deleted it. I wasn’t really using it anymore. I think I’m gonna be okay..hopefully I no one starts calling me a social outcast anytime soon ;)

  8. anonymn says:
    Wed, 2nd Sep 200912:43 am 

    livejournal, myspace, facebook….

    facebook can be useful because many people (for reasons i’ll never understand) say dumb, incriminating things for the world to see, and that can be used as evidence against them

  9. Jenna says:
    Wed, 2nd Sep 200912:53 am 

    Careful Cindy, you might fall off your pedestal and have to walk around down here with the rest of us.

    Some people who use facebook are losers. Others aren’t. And some people who like to stereotype a large group of people as ugly, fat, girls with self-esteem issues and then immediately move to violent overreaction are bitches.

  10. E says:
    Wed, 2nd Sep 20092:53 am 

    I don’t have facebook, (probably because my mother DOES and would insist on adding me as a friend) I’ve just never gotten excited about the idea of making one to actually put in the effort of doing it; I know what all my friends are doing anyway and I don’t particularly care to see a million one-handed pouty faced pictures of every acquaintance I have had since kinder, compete to get the most “friends” or show everyone who hasn’t seen me recently just how hot I still am, by strategically selecting the most flattering photos of me that exist (I’m not saying that this is what everyone on facebook is like, but that these sorts certainly make their presence felt…). When I’m out or at parties I actually like to have fun, not just take pictures of myself seeming to have fun. I sort of feel like the pastiched simulacrum of individuals’ lives which these pages become, are to some people, as important or real as the reality.

    As for my social life I’ve not yet missed out on doing anything because of not having fb, it’s not like I don’t talk to people I know everyday via phone, sms or in person ‘Are you coming to…’ ‘did you hear about…’ ‘you’re invited to…’ ‘we’re going to…’ etc. are all the helpful messages and reminders nobody yet has complained about inserting into our communications, that way at least I know people actually want me there too, because it would be easy for them to shut me out :D .

  11. Jenny says:
    Wed, 2nd Sep 20099:25 am 

    I disagree with this article. I use FB and Twitter every day, my boyfriend doesn’t use any social networking sites, and hasn’t in over a year. We both have plenty of friends, and although it’s easier for me to stay in touch with old friends from high school and whatnot, he’s always making new friends. I’d go so far as to say that he has more friends than me! Then again, we are a tad older than the current college crowd (23), so the novelty of Facebook is kind of wearing off.

    …okay, I admit, I leave Restaurant City running all day. :P That FB game is addicting.

  12. Monica says:
    Wed, 2nd Sep 20094:08 pm 

    I JUST got a facebook on Sunday… I guess it’s a good thing i got it when id did! :)

  13. Dirk Diggler says:
    Wed, 2nd Sep 20096:18 pm 

    Does the author or anyone here really think that letting EVERYONE YOU’VE EVER FRIENDED ON FACEBOOK know your plans for the weekend or cool? You have to share how much your final sucked with a hundred or more people you don’t even know?

    I have a facebook only because I noticed how PO’ed people could get if facebooking wasn’t an option. Honestly though, I’d rather get a phone call or text message about that big rager that is coming up than a facebook invite for the world to see.

  14. Grace says:
    Wed, 2nd Sep 20096:40 pm 

    idk. If that is what it takes to be “accepted”, I’d rather be a pariah any day

  15. Cindy says:
    Wed, 2nd Sep 20099:12 pm 

    LMFAO!!!!!! Today in class my point was fucking totally proven about the fattest, most worthless pieces of life being obsessed with facebook. So I was sitting in class and this literally 350 pound guy is sitting in the front of the class with his laptop on facebook. WHO THE FUCK WOULD BE THIS LOSER’S FRIEND ON FACEBOOK?!?!?!?! He is so fat, he can barely sit in the typical desk/chair combo seats in class because his fuckin fat ass stomach is pushing against the desk so hard I am amazed he can breathe. This is the typical facebook user.

  16. Sharon says:
    Wed, 2nd Sep 200910:02 pm 

    well, while i think its pretty pathetic how we all feel like we HAVE to have a facebook and constantly update it, i myself have a facebook. and im on there like a million times a day. its just the way this generation is wired i guess.

  17. anonymn says:
    Thu, 3rd Sep 200912:31 am 

    no youre wrong

  18. Jenae says:
    Thu, 3rd Sep 200912:59 am 

    Facebook is for insecure jackasses who try to portray a certain image of themselves to the world to make themselves look amazing when they are pieces of shit. I am so happy everyone agrees.

  19. Susan says:
    Thu, 3rd Sep 20099:50 am 

    My x boyfriend used it as a platform to keep a cozy nest of his x girlfriends…one hotter than the next.
    His profile listed his interests simply as “Women”.
    Enough said.

  20. Jennifer says:
    Fri, 4th Sep 20099:46 am 

    No, its true, I hardly know anyone who doesn’t have a Facebook account… I’m a die hard Facebook fan myself & while I was reading up on Facebook, I came across this great article on some crazy facts about Facebook. You can also read it!
    http://blog.socialmaximizer.com/10-bizarre-facts-you-ought-to-know-about-facebook/

  21. sean says:
    Sun, 6th Sep 200911:03 pm 

    hey!…..you dont know what the F$%K your talking about go out and smell the flowers, you tech junkie, oh and dont forget to update your status, you have been poked =)….ps i dont have a facebook so suck it

  22. al says:
    Wed, 9th Sep 20096:24 am 

    Im 70years old and i love it

  23. nyxmoxie says:
    Wed, 9th Sep 20096:36 am 

    I’m the opposite of you. People that aren’t on social sites have more lives than people who are on them, perhaps you shouldn’t be so high and mighty to think that you’re better than others. You don’t exist to me either.

  24. Dennie says:
    Wed, 9th Sep 20097:39 am 

    I just think it’s fun. Connecting with old friends, looking at friends vacation pictures at MY leisure, shuffling through pictures of “friends” children without the face to face awkwardness of having to comment if you don’t think their children are as adorable and perfect as they do, laughing or scoffing at status update (we all do it), and most of all NETWORKING! I have made several great connections through friends of friends that I have added to my client list or have simply learned something from about in my field(s) of interests. Also, many people on facebook have alerted me to news stories, websites, etc., that I may not have otherwise knew about. In summary, FB goes great with coffee in the morning!

  25. givenchance says:
    Wed, 9th Sep 20097:46 am 

    what do i think? well, it is a little bit strange for me that you do not “accept” people who do not have Facebook. What is the reason (except of the fact that it is “the epicenter of our generation’s world”? And if for example i have a page at MySpace, not Facebook? Does it count? )))) Everyone is at different social networks today, not only Facebook. Do you think it is good and people who “live” in network are more “alive” than people who do not even think of such things as Facebook?

  26. Casey says:
    Wed, 9th Sep 20093:13 pm 

    Most of my friends actually don’t have facebook. My boyfriend didn’t even have one till I made one for him, and he only gets on it once every month or so. I actually only go on mine to check and see if anyone commented or messaged me (I rarely even comment or message people back) I don’t understand people who obsessively update their facebook’s/ twitters. Who needs to know, or even cares what you’re doing at every second of your life. My friends who don’t have facebook spend their time wake boarding and water skiing, going to the beach, doing homework, partying, going on road trips. They actually have lives so they aren’t on the internet every moment of their day saying “Joe is now facebook stalking- 5:53pm”, “Joe is looking out his window wondering why he’s not outside- 6:15pm”, “Joe wishes he had a life- 6:20pm”, etc. Seriously, do you think people actually look at your millions of statuses? do you think people actually care about your minute to minute life? Hell no! Update once a day, with something interesting that you did or are going to do and leave it at that.

    Not having a facebook doesn’t make people weird or anti-social, it makes them the exact opposite, because it means they actually value their lives enough to live them.

  27. Mia says:
    Wed, 9th Sep 20098:51 pm 

    I had a facebook, and got rid of it because all of the pointless app invites and crap in my newsfeed wasn’t worth the few updates I got that were interesting. I don’t miss it, and I still get plenty of invites to do things. The people who are worth my time call me; the ones who aren’t don’t. I understand why people have it, I just don’t like it.

    And as to how I learn about people, I just ask them. Yea, talking in person. That shit’s crazy.

  28. Frank says:
    Thu, 10th Sep 20096:38 am 

    I don’t really think about things like Facebook. I have a MySpace page (that I virtually got railroaded into making) that just takes up space for the most part. I don’t look at it very often, and I don’t go around pretending to be a gangster or something on the apps. To me, it’s just not a big deal that everyone else makes out to be something greater. Connections and networking, I can see that being useful, but other than that, I don’t look at it more than a tool, something to use when you need it, and something to put down when you don’t.

  29. rene shrum says:
    Thu, 10th Sep 200910:40 am 

    I’m a bit shy so I think facebook is great because it frees us of the inhibitions that hold us back when we encounter people we don’t know all that well yet. Or even if we are around people we do know sometimes, because if the chemistry is off between people they can’t really communicate all that great. Facebook allows us to learn things we didn’t know about people. It allows us to let people in on how we feel and who we are without all the talking lol.

  30. Me says:
    Sat, 12th Sep 200910:04 am 

    I don’t have a Facebook account and I never will. All I use is Skype… for obvious reasons. I hate to have lots of applications on my computer as I only have 2 hands and A LIFE, besides a computer. No one asks me whether I’m on Facebook, I speak to people and interact with them face to face. Your social suicide without Facebook is just ridiculous. But I’m sure all of you Facebook addicts would actually commit a suicide if the network went down for 2 hours. Bless you…

  31. looika says:
    Sun, 13th Sep 20094:15 am 

    This is sick!

  32. Carah says:
    Mon, 14th Sep 20092:28 pm 

    maybe as some say facebook will fade and be no more at some point but I love it and it’s stupid hard to keep up with everyone without it. with the click of a mouse i see all the latest that a person has posted on thier fb. and know if the baby got here and what it looks like, if someone broke up and got a date. i know a million things about all my friends the things I just dont have the time to ask everyone and also even better! I dont feel obligated to send a half page letter to a friend becasue i dont know what up with them, i look at thier facebook and comments and ask about anything in thier life that we have a mutal interest in. my lil sis doesnt update very often and therefore I loose track of what up with her all the time and we still live in the same town!

  33. Curtis says:
    Wed, 16th Sep 20096:44 pm 

    Here’s a sad dose of reality for you Noa – you’re 2.0’s version of an AOLer.

  34. letsdestroy says:
    Thu, 17th Sep 20099:23 pm 

    I think you’re a tool. Anybody who is willing to socially exclude others for not having a facebook profile… they barely exist to me.

  35. Becca- Clarion University says:
    Fri, 18th Sep 200910:32 am 

    Unfortunately a number of people do get excluded on campuses because they don’t have a facebook. I know a lot of groups, and information about dates for things, as well as meeting etc… that rely on facebook to share the information…

    It’s a damn shame for anyone who doesn’t have one… and It’s kinda stupid that we rely on a networking site instead of things like… the phone or I dunno… PAPER!

  36. Darwin says:
    Sat, 19th Sep 20097:58 pm 

    Might actually be a good idea. People would be so productive without it.

  37. Su says:
    Sun, 20th Sep 200912:22 am 

    My husband never had a Myspace or a Facebook and he still has tons of ppl (more friends than I have on both combined) constantly asking him what his URL is or forcing him to get a FB. He says no just because he doesn’t care about everyone elses lives. Good point. (we’re 20)

  38. groundlow says:
    Sun, 27th Sep 20091:56 am 

    This is probably the stupidest thing I’ve read. People are “hiding” something because they don’t have a facebook account? God forbid you lived in a time before the internet existed. Your assumption doesn’t even make sense because anyone can make up anything about themselves that they want to on the internet. In fact, using social networking sites is probably one of the easiest ways to make up complete lies about yourself and have no one find out. You can update your status to whatever you’d like, whether it be describing an actual event in your life or not. You can make up crap in your profile, add tons of people you barely know to make it appear that you have many friends, when you actually don’t, and so on. Not to mention the fact that you can post tons of pictures of yourself which actually have almost no resemblance to how you truly look, because you’ve managed to select the most flattering photos in a particular type of light and have successfully mastered photoshop so that all your blemishes no longer exist.

    It gets really irritating when people I meet go “so do you have facebook?” No. I don’t. And I don’t want one either.

    Not everyone without a facebook is a “loser”. In fact, when I find out someone doesn’t have one, I have a tendency to think the exact opposite of them. I actually find myself liking people MORE upon discovering they don’t have a facebook. Maybe it’s because I’m tired of people insisting that I get one.

    I have different reasons for not having one. The first being I had a myspace and got really sick of it and deleted it, and from that point on have no longer used social networking sites. The second being that a few years ago I had an abusive ex who was stalking me and also finding all my online accounts and harassing me through them, digging up any information he could on me and my friends. So, I’m afraid that he’d somehow find my facebook, hack it, find out where I live now and what school I go to now, and contact and harass all my friends once again.

  39. Erika says:
    Sun, 27th Sep 20094:49 pm 

    I had a facebook since sophmore year of highschool & yes, it’s a great way to keep in contact with anyone & everyone…It also can turn you into a creepy facebook stalker that you never want to admit to being.It is now socially acceptable to facebook stalk,creep, and/or “poke” people you barely know… like, what?
    It can also make it completely impossible to have a normal relationship with anyone because you never know what they have “seen on facebook” that relates to you, true or not.
    It will drive you crazy because you know too much & now that cute guy or girl you’ve recently been hardcore crushing on considers you insane because the other night when you played a little too much flipcup, you let slip that you “saw his or hes ex all over their facebook& you just wana know what’s going on bla bla etc..”
    Not to mention that future employers,exe’s,parents & relatives can now also see who & where you & all of you friends are & just how embarrassingly drunk you were on cinco de mayo…I’m just saying lol.

    Well, it was at least it was starting to have these effects on me… SO, i deactivated my facebook a couple weeks ago. I’ll admit, I made a new one but now it just seems like far too much work refriending & everything so we’ll see if it ever becomes anything.
    As long as you’re careful with what you put up & how much time you spend on it, facebook’s great. But for me,sadly, it was getting far too time consuming & I realized I just don’t care about your “top 5 fav movies” ,that you ” found a cow on your farm” in farmville, or even that you’re bored & your feet are cold, or so says your fb status.

  40. Frank P says:
    Tue, 6th Oct 20091:24 pm 

    I totally disagree. Facebook sucks big time.

  41. sly says:
    Sat, 10th Oct 200910:46 pm 

    a) i hate peanut butter and jelly,

    b) and i hate these stupid social networking sites. all it ism is for people to make “friends” so they can show off how many people they have as “friends” but dont really talk to. i’ll never use FB or myspace or any of these stupid sites, well i do have a myspace, but it’s like my old sega saturn, fun to look at every now and then, but most of the time it’s gathering dust under a stack of porn.

  42. F says:
    Sun, 11th Oct 20097:43 pm 

    I think you overgeneralize.

  43. Eric says:
    Sat, 24th Oct 200910:49 am 

    So, in other words, you’re saying you absolutely have no sense of imagination since Facebook is the only thing you can depend on?

    Or, maybe you’re a conformist with big self-esteem issues?

    Or maybe you haven’t realized that Facebook, like Myspace and Multiply, will fade away all too soon when the next big thing comes.

    Pft, loser.

  44. James says:
    Fri, 30th Oct 200912:45 am 

    The words ’social suicide’ mean nothing to the introvert. It might however be social suicide when anyone under any old name can log in and see a lot of stuff about you. How will you feel about all those drunk pictures 10 years from now?

  45. lolwut? says:
    Wed, 18th Nov 20091:07 pm 

    i guess not

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