Single. And Pissed Off At The Ladies

September 4, 2009 4:00 pm     Posted in Reality, Relationships  Dannia- Loyola University Chicago g+ page

angry_girl1


By Dannia

A very good friend of mine recently had her heart torn into pieces by her ex-bf. Now, in my humble opinion there are two foolproof ways to try and get over this. The first option is to hook up with Jude Law. The second is to have a good old fashion ladies’ night. Since the first option is pretty implausible (though apparently possible if you nanny his children), a few of us decided that a night of female only fun was definitely in order.

I guess maybe I should have been more specific when I said, “Don’t invite any guys. It’s going to be only girls. Just women. People with vaginas. Thanks.” The first friend pulled the, “I hope you don’t mind but I invited this foreign exchange student I just met. He needs more friends!” The second sprung the the, “My boyfriend is in the area so he’s going to meet us” (By ‘meet us’ she meant come hang out for 15 minutes before they both left). The friend we planned the failed extravaganza for…you guessed it, ended up calling her ex to pick her up.

And, I’ll admit, I’m the pot calling the kettle boy-crazy… I spent a large quantity of the night in a corner texting my latest love interest.

What the e-f-f is HAPPENING? Now trust me, I understand that when you like a guy you (duh) like spending time with them. But I swear, I want to kidnap half of my friends and tape their eyes open while forcing them to watch 48 straight hours of Lifetime until they remember the meaning of female solidarity. Whether it’s a boyfriend or a boy friend or just some boy, it seems we have a hard time prying ourselves away from the opposite sex…even for one little night.

Am I allowed to be pissed off? I’m going to say yes, a bit. Mostly because I thought friendships mattered, but it seems for a lot of girls, they’re just a thing you pretend to do while waiting for a boyfriend. I get 30 texts a day from my girl friends, but if there’s a guy in the picture, I get one every two weeks (usually when they’ve fought). My roommate last year went from being one of my best friends to a girl in need of a freaking search party once she got a boyfriend (I’m serious, I didn’t see her for a month straight, and I lived. with. her.). Do boyfriends genuinely take up as much time as an internship at Vogue, or are gals making this choice?

Are your girlfriends just for filler?

Let’s hope not. Friends are a wonderful, wonderful thing…they make you laugh, they call you pretty, and you don’t even have to go down on them! Sure, it’s a delicate balancing act; you don’t want to completely ignore your friends or your significant other. But both friendships and romantic relationships are completely essential. It’s worth mastering the art.

So single or coupled, I urge you to make the effort. Come on, we are better than this! Women can talk on the phone for literally hours about nothing! So call up your favorite friend you’ve been neglecting, and talk about absolutely nothing; just don’t talk about men.

17 Comments on "Single. And Pissed Off At The Ladies"

  1. Mike says:
    Fri, 4th Sep 20091:00 pm 

    Everyone who writes for this website is a dirty whore.

  2. Angie Marie says:
    Fri, 4th Sep 20091:14 pm 

    Awesome article. I like that you mentioned, in addition to boyfriends, "boy friends." I'm obsessed with one of best guy friends…in a 100% platonic way. I can't go an hour without craving to see him, and I know it wouldn't be the same if he were a girl haha. I get attention from way cuter guys than him on a daily basis, but I compare all the guys to him and end up just missing him so much when he's on another side of campus. I've skipped out on hanging with my girlfriends dozens of times to see him, and it's a habit I need to kick in the butt. Haha, maybe I have a wee bit of a crush on him.

  3. Marie says:
    Fri, 4th Sep 20091:36 pm 

    Hahaha I definitely agree with you. I go to Loyola too by the way!

  4. Sarah says:
    Fri, 4th Sep 20091:55 pm 

    I definitely agree. I've always made time for my friends, with or without a boyfriend. It's frustrating when a friend gets a new guy and spends all their time with them, then breaks up with that boyfriend and can't understand why you're a tad apprehensive to welcome them back with open arms, when you all know it's just a cycle that will happen again.

  5. Brody says:
    Fri, 4th Sep 20093:30 pm 

    I would totally agree with this. If there's one thing I hate more than flaky people, its trustworthy friends who turn flaky once a new man is in the picture.

  6. Sara says:
    Fri, 4th Sep 20096:05 pm 

    My (sort of) best friend is entirely like this. Whenever she has a boyfriend, she literally can't think of anyone but her and her boyfriend and them getting married and having kids. She ignores calls, sees none of her friends, and generally is a dick. The one time I tried to mention that maybe she shouldn't give up her friends, she told me that she could do what she wanted and I needed to mind my own business. I've given up.

  7. catherine says:
    Sun, 6th Sep 200912:11 am 

    some guy is a whore for reading this…then commenting

  8. kvguzman says:
    Sun, 6th Sep 200910:35 am 

    I totally agree but I think a huge part of the problem is men practically make up the core of women. At least when it comes to my friends, they feel like they exist for men and without a man they are miserable human beings and I can't tell you how often we (I'm including myself here – check out my blog, i'm very much a part of the problem! hahaha) involve a male in our conversations! WHYYYYYYYYYYYY are we hardwired to care sooooo much about them and they care so little about us?

  9. Neil says:
    Sun, 6th Sep 200911:22 pm 

    Oh what a load of cheetah shit!!!! Guys treat girls too well and get jack shit in return except the girl sleeping around like a whore and cheating on him. Dont say guys are worse than girls because it is the girls who are the biggest cheaters in the world.

  10. K says:
    Mon, 7th Sep 20098:47 am 

    Neil – A lot of girls cheat too, but not all of us–you don't want to be thrown in with cheating guys and we don't all want to be thrown in with whorish girls.

    Personally, I think 80% + girls fit this mold. Doesn't seem like it will ever change.

  11. Erich says:
    Tue, 8th Sep 20097:42 am 

    Heres the thing, When you get out of college and start a life of your own, you will only end up with a few really good friends frm HS and college. So the friends that make the effort to hang with you now when your not partying or gpoing thru rough times are the ones that will be there for life, the others will just go by the way side.

  12. Al says:
    Fri, 11th Sep 20098:40 am 

    I don't agree, because I go to an all-women's school where female bonds are really strong. Sisterhood and friendship take precedence over all else. Women should follow this model of NOT HATING other women; it's counterproductive and a detriment to our progression.

    FYI: Everyone's filler in my book, regardless of gender, until I meet people of substance… a pretty difficult search.

  13. twentysomethingreali says:
    Sat, 12th Sep 20096:21 am 

    When my boyfriend and I broke up a few months ago, I don't think I could have gotten through it without my girlfriends. Those friendships last longer than most relationships.

    http://twentysomethingmeetsreality.wordpress.com/

  14. mollination says:
    Sat, 12th Sep 200911:58 am 

    I haven't had a girl-friend like the ones described above since I was 15. I have tried with reckless abandon to find a good girl for the past 7 years to be friends with – someone genuine, someone normal (as in the same type of crazy as me), someone honest. Just someone that wouldn't blow me off, put guilt trips on me, throw stinging backhanded compliments at me when I was already feeling insecure, tag along on my dates only to sabotage me and them, constantly make me feel like she secretly knew something about me that I didn't know and then proceed to dangle it above my head and use as ammo against me, accuse me of flaking out if I simply couldn't hang out for once, belittle me, judge me, make me work for their friendship or kindness, talk shit about me behind my back, or point out my worst attributes.

    THAT'S why I prefer man's company.

    Oh and Angie Marie- Yes, girl. You've got a case of the crush. :)

  15. kate says:
    Sun, 13th Sep 200912:46 pm 

    i love boys, i do.

    but there definitley is in need of some balance.

    i lost a best friend this year too when she got a boyfriend :/.

  16. emi says:
    Fri, 18th Sep 20099:15 pm 

    I had a similar situation where one of my good friends and I stopped speaking to each other all b/c I was the "filler". Once she found her BF, it was like "BUH bye 4ever", especially since HE was telling me that "she was going to call me" or "thought about hanging-out with my friends and I" haha. I never made a huge deal out of this, I did feel hurt, yes.

    On the other hand, I've had several friends with BFs/ husbands who still remember their friends and we all keep in touch (like the old times!) It MUST a friendship test, right? It must be…there are days I feel like I'm Lauren. Good luck girls. :)

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