Love|Updated:

Why You Should…Have Group Sex

threesome.jpg

See, ladies; I told you this was a good idea.

There’s a great many things to do and places to see in this world of ours.  As humans, our lives are pretty short (and if you party like I do, it’s probably going to be even shorter).  So we have to prioritize!  We have brains for a reason and that reason is…reasoning (well, at least some of us use them for that purpose: see comment about partying above).  Let me be your voice of reason as I show you all the things you should be doing right here, right now.

Because I’m a totally mature and well-adjusted college student, I sometimes play games with my friends that involve saying awkward things at inappropriate times.  We do it for shock value and for the general entertainment of everyone involved (who doesn’t enjoy a good shouting match of “Penis!”?).  Recently, I tried to play a version of this game with my boyfriend while chatting innocently on AIM.  Here’s a basic outline of how it went:

Boyfriend: nap good?
Boyfriend: you got dinner soon right?
Me: if I were to have a threesome with you and one of your friends, it would so be Kenny
Boyfriend:first of all, wtf
Boyfriend:wtf wtf wtf wtf
Me: AHAHAHAAAA

This got me to thinking…about threesomes.  And about how I may have to tone down the randomness around the BF.  But mostly about the sex part.  Why not?  There are so many reasons to invite an extra player into your game (or even a couple extra players…the more the merrier, right?), especially if your boyfriend has hot friends.  Or your friends have some hot friends.  Or that guy opposite you at the bar has some hot friends.  You know, whoever floats your boat.

At any rate, having tried the whole two-peen-for-the-price-of-one deal, I’d have to encourage you to get wild and try it out yourself.  There are no height requirements on this ride, my friends, so jump on (although you may want to stretch or something beforehand).  Here’s why you should be buying a king-sized mattress and planning an adult a sleepover:

Dorm Cred – If you live in a dormitory, you’re probably used to the Sunday morning exchange of stories from your wild weekends.  Well, what could top a great story about group sex?  Nothing, my friend.  Not even that story your roommate told about making out with her prof to bump that 3.5 to a 4.0.  If you’re a college-aged woman (or dude), then epic stories about parties, drinking, and sex are your currency.  And your story about your amazing threesome?  That’s pretty much like throwing down a crisp hundo while your friends are digging for dimes.

Experience – College is the time where you gain experience and knowledge you can use and build upon for the rest of your adult life.  Drinking and sex are also counted in this skill set.  In fact, I can’t think of any other skills that are more useful in life.  Having a group sex experience will definitely bump up your experience points.  Even if you’re awkward and immature in the bedroom at the best of times, after a threesome (or two), you’ll be walking with a new swagger (probably from a pulled muscle from all that sex, but whatever…it’s worth it) that you can carry with you past graduation.

Test Your Relationship – If you’re in a relationship and have the opportunity to share a threesome with your partner, then this is what could be called a “test of your relationship.”  It usually goes one of two ways:  you can become closer and cement your bond…or you might fall apart.  Sometimes a threesome is just a way for your partner to cheat on you while you’re in the room (or vice-versa).  Try to keep group sex as a tool for expanding your sexual horizons and spicing up your sex life, rather than an easy way out of a relationship.  At any rate, I promise you that you’ll learn something about your partner when there’s another naked person in bed with you.

Annoy/Confuse Your Roommate –  Now that fall semester has started and everyone has (mostly) settled into the rhythms of college life, some of you may be regretting your roommate decision.  What better way to annoy or confuse them than a rousing night of group sex?  Whether or not they are invited, I’m sure they’ll be adequately affected by the situation to make your point (dirty laundry goes in the hamper, not on the floor in front of my desk!).  Your sexual antics will also provide a memorable story for them to tell their next roommate…or your RA.  Good times.

More Flexibility – Trying to get everyone into position without spraining any genitalia is a task in itself during a threesome.  I could have used some pilates or yoga classes before I jumped into that situation.  Add more people and I can only imagine the flexibility needed to pull it all off.  However, after a couple of times bumping uglies with your homies, you’ll be bending and twisting like a Russian gymnast.  This will make traditional two-person encounters all the more exciting (especially for your lucky partner).

Increased Sexiness – Let’s face it:  group sex is an opulant, excessive taboo.  Threesomes are the things of which pornos and wet dreams are made.  Once you have an experience like that, you’re changed.  You’ve suddenly got a smoldering sexiness and increased confidence.  People will be drawn to you like moths to a sexy leg lamp.  Having a threesome is the equivalent of getting a mani/pedi, a cut and style, an amazing new LBD, and fabulous new shoes all in the same day:  you’ll feel amazing.  Who knew that you could save hundreds of dollars by just having more sex?

It’s Fun – Seriously…just do it.  You’ll see.

    Comments

    Comments

    1. bystander says:

      well, if anything, this topic should produce more conversation than your last one…

    2. Oh jeeze, I can feel the "you're such a slut" comments coming this way…

      For the record, I like this article!:) I'm not gonna lie.. if I were to have a threesome (or any kinda group sex) I couldn't do it with a long-term partner.. but a couple of friends? Sure, I might give it a try.

      It sounds like you had a (few?) great experience(s) with group sex. Thanks for sharing your perspective!:)

    3. Angie Marie says:

      Test your relationship? Sounds more like eagerly tossing your relationship away…

    4. Eliza says:

      Unfortunately, for a lot of people (myself included), this would probably bring up more issues than anything else. I know I would be jealous no matter what the outcome, so that's the prime reason I wouldn't have a threesome or be a part of a polyamorous relationship of any kind. However, if you're secure enough in your relationships and your sexuality, I see no reason to do these things. Remember, just be safe!

    5. kirsten says:

      I would love to have a threesome, and so would my boyfriend… however I would like 2 guys and he would like 2 girls

    6. shari says:

      about a year ago, i had a threesome with two guys. one was a guy i had been casually seeing for a while and the other was his best friend. they never touched each other during the act and it was soooo fun for me! i recommend it to everyone!:) now me and the same guy that i'm still casually seeing are looking for a girl to have a threesome with!

    7. Ness - Sheridan says:

      Since when does wanting to have sex with multiple partners mean you were sexually abused? That's quite a rash conclusion for someone to come to about someone they don't even know…

    8. maggie says:

      i thought this article was great!

      of course, group sex is not for everyone, but it certainly seems to be for some! if it's NOT for you, i see no reason to throw insults at the author! please tone it down, sarah…

    9. Oli says:

      Ah, don't forget the bonding experience involved in sharing the same std(s) with your partners. Think of how close you can get to your new BFFs over good old genital warts and Hep C.

      Talk about things "that you can carry with you past graduation".

    10. Casey says:

      I had two threesomes my first semester of college, they were with the same people though, my ex who I had recently broken up with (we dated for 2 1/2 years prior to that) and his best friend. They never touched each other, but I didn't really have much fun with it either time. I also ended up dating the best friend after that, which my ex really didn't like and it led to a lot of lies hurt feelings, and none of us remained friends afterward. But despite my previous attempts my boyfriends best friend (who I was actually talking to before he introduced me to my boyfriend) is super hot. And I wouldn't mind having a threesome with the two of them. However, we would never actually go through with it. But we did have a "fuck off" with his best friend and some girl he was hooking up with at the time. But it was just to see which could was louder during sex, and ended up being more funny then it was sexy. lol

    11. Robyn says:

      hahaha woohoo for threesomes! yup, been there done that. although its kinda different. it was me, my best friend (who is gay) and a straight guy. it was a pretty good time!

    12. Genghis says:

      Great. Since this is also educational, we'll appreciate details. Was there an announcement of leeet's rrrunmble! When in the scene of the crime, who got naked first? Or did you undress each other? Were there any preliminaries? Or did you jump into each other right away like in a porno movie? There was a mention of pilates. Did you do 69's? How about 68's? and 88's? Were there cowgirls and reverse cowgirls? Please tell us also the acceptable lingo in that situation. Is romantic language used at all?

    13. R says:

      I don't understand how this could strengthen a relationship.. Isn't it basically just cheating your with bf in front of them?

    14. R says:

      with your**

    15. Genghis says:

      Follow up question: Since it is a group sex, did you use plural terms of endearment at all times? Like Ohhh babies don't stop instead of just Ohhh baby don't stop!

      The guy in the picture looks creepy. If I were a woman, I would not touch him even with the proverbial ten-foot pole

    16. […] you should have…group sex! – College Candy AKPC_IDS += […]

    17. Kim says:

      Casey- I suggest you listen to Dr. Drew or some other certified specialist to help you sort out all of your issues. You are seriously fucked up in the head. With all the issues from your childhood that aren't resolved leading you down a path to destruction, I don't forsee a happy future for you. Seek help before it is too late. Don't be ashamed. You need serious counseling.

    18. eulamue says:

      Hopefully this is just an attempt at sensationalism. If so, not a bad job. I know a lot of girls who have had threesomes, but it has always been rape. They didn't much enjoy it. Forced anal is no foot massage!

      By the way, opulent is misspelled. That is the main reason I commented at all.

    19. Casey says:

      Eulamue, basically what this is is a light hearted list of some of the "pro's" of having a threesome, to introduce the idea to those people who may not understand the fantasy that millions of people share. Not everyone who has a threesome was raped, and in the case of rape you don't call it a "threesome" so if YOU were going for sensationalism with that comment, sorry, it just came off as rather insensitive to such a horrific issue.

      And really, who cares if she misspelled opulent. It's one word out of an entire article. I suspect that wasn't really your "main reason" for commenting, or you wouldn't have made that completely inappropriate comment at all.

    20. henry hill says:

      SPARTY ON!

    21. Darwin says:

      By the way, I do not approve of this. That was not a fun AIM conversation. And sorry Katie, another guy isn't happening.

    22. […] Why You Should…Have Group Sex – Super sensible advice for college students. […]

    23. Harry says:

      Girl Girl Guy = awesome, guy guy girl = gay gay whore

    24. mollination says:

      How sad is this: I never even let my mind *consider* a threesome in which I got two guys. It seemed so impossible that my mind never got to fantasize about it.

      Now that I know someone else has pulled off this amazing feat I realize it is my #1 fantasy. ha.

    25. mollination says:

      Harry- YOU ARE A DREAMCRUSHER!

    26. […] worse and she refuses to get physical with him pretty much at all. On a semi-joking note, Ron suggested a threesome between Jane – my best friend/his girlfriend – him and myself. I’ve never been in […]

    27. HotterthanYou says:

      Bull shit .

    28. Truth says:

      This girl is seriously fucked in the head. Didn't she talk about her parents divorcing while she was in college? It's clear that a dysfunctional family life has caused her to harm herself with all these high-risks / low rewards behaviors in hope of feeling some love and attention.

      What's even more damaging is that she's given a platform to voice her convoluted perspective encouraging girls to do the same. Shame on College Candy for promoting sexual and emotional harm to young women like this.

      1. Bob says:

        Yeah. I hate it when people are allowed to speak freely. There should be a law against that.

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