Got a guy question that’s tearing you up inside? Don’t trust your girl friends to give you honest advice (because they’re afraid if they tell you the truth you will freak out and throw things at them)? Just want to try and understand what a guy is thinking?
We’ve got the dude for you. Send your questions to AskTheDude@CollegeCandy.com and he’ll give it to you straight. Because you can’t throw things at him, no matter what he tells you. Our dude is answering questions every Wednesday, so ask away!
The other day, I randomly met a guy at a bus stop who just got back from Europe. We clicked immediately, and hung out for about 2 hours (instead of studying for genetics…). He has my number and email, but is it a bad idea just to ask him to hang out? I have no interest in a romantic aspect, and my female friends say I’m nuts. This is legit, right? I can just ask a guy to hang out just to solely hang out…
Or am I just being an idiot?
Just Wanna Be Friends
Dear JWBF (I’m too lazy to type out your whole name),
It pretty much goes without saying that men like things big. We like big cars, big explosions, big flat-screen TV’s (with HD and 1080P), and we foster even bigger egos. No matter how obvious you think the lack of chemistry is between you and your newfound “friend,” most men take the When Harry Met Sally philosophy (a Die Hard metaphor just wouldn’t work here) a bit too literally.
Men generally think that any fun, friendly female (continuing to tolerate and speak to him) inevitably wants him. If a lady believes that subtle implications, uninterested body language, or comments like, “I’m so glad I have you as a friend” are going to show a guy things are strictly platonic… she is completely mistaken. Men aren’t mind readers (we probably wouldn’t even read the manual if a woman came with one), so our big egos will inevitably convince us you’re digging us (even if you show an iota of interest).
However, that doesn’t mean that you can’t be friends with a guy…you just need to be 100% up front with him from the very beginning. Don’t subtly imply that there is no chemistry and expect him to figure out the clues. Lay it out for him in black and white from the start. Yes, that means sitting him down and telling him, “I just want to be friends.” If he isn’t up for a friend with “not-a-chance-in-hell” level of benefits, than it’s his loss. But you should definitely pick up the phone and give it a try. You never know – you may end up with an awesome friend… and benefits to spare.
His Royal Dude-ness