I’m Not an Oreo!

September 15, 2009 Posted in Reality

oreo My friend called me her favorite Oreo.

“You know,” she said, “black on the outside, white on the inside.”

I gaped at her, trying to figure out what I could possibly say to that. She thought she was genuinely complimenting me. I mean, I don’t even like Oreos.

We had just gotten our SAT scores back and I had done really well, surprising even myself at how much knowledge cramming I had retained. But apparently my friend thought scoring well on a standardized test is something that doesn’t fit with the black race. I just changed the subject because I didn’t want to seem touchy or like a drama queen, but instances like these have happened to me so many times. I’m fed up!

Do I get classified as an Oreo because I’m a voracious reader (apparently all those SAT flashcards paid off)? Or because I might seem reserved when you first meet me? Or is because of one of the other billion facets of my personality? Yes, I would seriously contemplate selling my soul to be front and center at a Lil Wayne concert, but I also can’t help but belt out Taylor Swift songs when they come on the radio. Toni Morrison and Zora Neale Hurston both have works on my list of favorite literature, as do Shakespeare and Jodi Picoult. Oh, and if you see me out dancing, I might be bouncing around to the latest hip hop song, but I could just as easily be showing off some complicated salsa step I learned during the two years that I took salsa classes.

I’m not meant to be categorized or labeled. Try to put me in a box and I’ll do my best to claw my way out, because I just don’t belong in one.

I understand that people use phrases like these to joke around. I do have a sense of humor buried somewhere under the tirades and attempts at being politically correct. Still, the time I was called an Oreo fits in with other times people have acted like I, for some reason, don’t seem like a member of my race. “I don’t think of you as a black person,” is one I’ve gotten a few times. And then there’s the “you’re so pretty, you don’t even look like a black girl!” Uh, thanks?

I used to stay quiet when people would say things about my race that they thought would boost my ego, as though I should be happy if I didn’t fit in with black people. Well, my days of avoiding these confrontations are over. My silence insinuates that I agree with the statements people are making, and take pride in the fact that I’ve got a little “white” in me. And I definitely don’t. I’m proud of who I am. Even if I could wave a magic wand and change some part of me, it would never be my race. I wouldn’t want my skin to be even a smidgen of a shade lighter.

In fact, the only thing I’d want is Beyonce’s derriere. But who wouldn’t?

3914136 CommentsI%27m+Not+an+Oreo%212009-09-15+21%3A00%3A21Zahra-+Northwestern+University on "I’m Not an Oreo!"

RIKO says:
Tue, 15th Sep 200912:24 pm

Yes Yes YES!

I've had almost the exact same experiences you've had when dealing with being fairly intelligent and black. It always irked me when people would act shocked that I liked science or math or that i really did love reading. Not only is it insulting to you as a person but to african-americans in general. It's true, the worst part is that they think they're giving you compliments when really they just made me feel insecure and sometimes not "black" enough. oh middle school, how glad I am that you've passed!

Lucy says:
Tue, 15th Sep 200912:32 pm

Great article, I've never thought about the other side and how weird that would be if someone said that to me my whole life!

Trish - University o says:
Tue, 15th Sep 20091:08 pm

I'm asian and I've been called a Twinky. Yellow on the outside and white in the inside. I totally understand where your coming from!

elle says:
Tue, 15th Sep 20091:10 pm

Toni Morrison writes SUCH disturbing novels.

Ally says:
Tue, 15th Sep 20091:21 pm

I totally understand! I've been called an oreo many times! Its kind of insulting. Especially when other black people come up to me and criticize me for not being "black enough" and saying that I must hate being black! Its so rude! I cant help it if I dont like hip hop/rap, like to read, and don't speak in rap rhyme!

stephanie says:
Tue, 15th Sep 20091:44 pm

I have been called an oreo by friends of mine, I have been told that I am whiter than the white people I hang out with and its not because of my intelligence. I have never factored in someones intelligence to consider them not apart of their race. When I hear that it is mainly because I enjoy things that have been typically attributed to the white race like Rock music, beachy clothes. I enjoy working at hollister co.

In actuallity I don't take offense to it because its a way that someone uses to describe my personality. I am not ashamed of my race. But there are personality traits typically attributed to black people that if I dont follow they see me differently.

Tellie says:
Tue, 15th Sep 20091:50 pm

Oh yes! I have felt the exact same way before. Especially when one of my friends said I was "The smartest black person [they] know!"

What!?

J says:
Tue, 15th Sep 20092:23 pm

“you’re so pretty, you don’t even look like a black girl!”

I find that comment so odd, especially considering I think African-Americans have some of the more aesthetically pleasing physical characteristics.

Brittney says:
Tue, 15th Sep 20092:55 pm

I've never been called an oreo, but my race is something that has always been on the tip of people's tongue. I'm black, but I'm very light skinned, and yeah, I guess I don't "act black"

It has always frustrated me, for as young as I can remember. I'm really glad to see this article on college candy. Please write more for black girls!

Alicia says:
Tue, 15th Sep 20093:13 pm

I am black (african american doesn't quite describe me right, because there is very little african in my family lol) and I have been through a lot of the same things…when I was in high school everyone used to call me oreo. I dressed differently, talked differently and was a book worm and I was labeled all kinds of things (emo kid, nerd, geek, and some more insulting ones like sell-out, fake and lame) just because the way I carried myself. It never really bothered my though, because I loved being different anyway lol .

Jay says:
Tue, 15th Sep 20096:10 pm

Oreos of the world should unite to the point where the stereotype of black people is forever changed. Everyone else will never know what they are going to get when they see a black person but will soon find out that they are nothing like what they imagined. Someone needs to start a revolution that makes "Oreo" stop being a derogatory term, instead we should be celebrated because we go well with just about every damn thing you could possibly want.

Donnette - Manhattan says:
Tue, 15th Sep 20096:15 pm

Awesome that you wrote this. My friends call me "oreo" and though i've thought about what that implies, I never took it in that context and I still don't bc we all (my friends and I) understand each other. I do have a problem when someone claims "i'm trying to act black"

Winnie says:
Tue, 15th Sep 20096:35 pm

I know how you feel. I get called banana, but after hanging out with a few other people labeled "bananas" and "oreos" things worked out haha. Now I don't even consider it an insult anymore.

Dirk Diggler says:
Tue, 15th Sep 20096:53 pm

moer liek Oreos are bitchin, mirite?

jeff says:
Tue, 15th Sep 20098:10 pm

thats like if some one called my fiancee an apple red on the out side white on the inside i dont understand these people who asome you have to fit a box>

Dafra says:
Tue, 15th Sep 20098:41 pm

Thanks, thanks, thanks! It is so insulting when people assume it is "white" to like linkin park and green day, or call you a sell-out because of the way you dress or the boks you read. skin color does not come attached to a certain behavior or taste!

D. says:
Wed, 16th Sep 20092:17 am

I'm an African Arab, and I get to hear things like "I didn't realize you were Sudanese because you're not black/you're pretty". How does one even respond to that kind of ignorance?

Coleen says:
Wed, 16th Sep 20095:34 am

Although I am white and do not experience any sort of treatment like you may have, the fact that you must experience this kind of treatment really disturbs me. People that use terms like "oreo" and "twinkie" think they are complimenting you or being funny, but in reality they are just blindly perpetuating racism they have inherited from our culture. A nickname like that IS NOT a compliment. If people understood more about the racism and discrimination that occurs on an everyday basis in this country, they would be more accepting and less ignorant.

Johnnie says:
Wed, 16th Sep 20096:11 am

that term is racist, not 'kind of racist' or 'sort of racist.' Zahra, your friend is a moron that says racist things. And you should tell her that.

Jessica says:
Wed, 16th Sep 20097:18 am

i'm half black, but i don't really look like it, i just look white. so most of my friends call me an 'uh oh oreo' – the whole white on the outside, black on the inside thing. Sure, I like hiphop, but what does that have to do with being black, just like being somewhat smart doesn't make me white either. That crap gets really annoying.

Brooke says:
Wed, 16th Sep 20098:34 am

I had never heard the term 'twinky' until last week from my asian roommate!

Chelseigh says:
Wed, 16th Sep 20095:57 pm

"You are really pretty and smart for a black girl."

And then he had the nerve to ask me out

Kendra says:
Wed, 16th Sep 20097:33 pm

Chelseigh: What is wrong with what he said? Everyone would have said the same thing. He probably was surprised like everyone else you weren't doing the latest piece of shit rapper dance.

Marcela says:
Thu, 17th Sep 200910:02 am

Oh my, I cannnot stress on how fustrating that is. My parents are from central america, I was born here. I'm fluent in spanish. all my life I heard I was not hispanic enough from all my hispanic friends just because I didnt take much intrest to daddy yankee and hispanic music. And to my white friends, they would always tell me I acted like a white girl. I hated hearing that. People's perception of blacks and hispanics is ghetto. You cant really be hispanic or black and be intelligent at the same time to ignorant people. It pisses me off. I once heard in 7th grade "your really pretty to be hispanic" WTF

NewPaltzgal says:
Thu, 17th Sep 20092:39 pm

"You talk like a white girl, you know, so articulate and smart" is what people have said to me on a couple of occasions. WTF! I was offended because they made it seem like because I was black, I shouldn't use proper English, be articulate and actually know what I'm talking about. People are just ignorant and really let stereotypes decide how they view others. Sadly I think stupidity like this is far from being obsolete

Brittany says:
Thu, 17th Sep 20097:12 pm

FINALLY!!!! For some reason my friends think it's okay to say to me that they don't even consider me black or that I don't act black. It gets so tiring giving the same speech about how my race should have NO AFFECT on my personality. It's even worse when they get offended because they think I'm being sensitive about it.

Zahra-Northwestern U says:
Thu, 17th Sep 20098:04 pm

Thanks so much for the feedback! I really appreciate knowing a lot of you identify with this. I think it's pretty fab that you all are bringing more awareness to the topic through your comments.

-Zahra

Al says:
Fri, 18th Sep 20093:42 pm

I can really relate to this article in some places.

As an African-American (my parents are foreign) Black girl, I can say that I’ve faced the same discrimination from both sides. My whole life people have described me as being/ acting “white”, both Blacks AND Whites, and I am very insulted by it. Yes, I am articulate. No, I don’t like rap/hip-hop. Yes, I like indie folk/rock music. By asserting that I’m “different”, “not like that” etc. they are insinuating that the Black race, as a whole, are uneducated, dumb, and anti-intellectuals. I don’t think I’ve ever just let anyone say that, although, I’ve had friends try very hard to convince me that I was white. Only with the recent election have I heard the “Black community” actually talk about “not being Black enough,” minus Oprah. I’ve found myself being alienated by the Black race, because of where my parents are from, the classes I’ve taken, or the way I talk and dress. I don’t understand why not fitting into the stereotypical box Blacks in the media get typecasted into is unacceptable. However, when Black celebs choose to be “different”, i.e. Kanye West (classy appearance), Rhianna (punk rock edginess), or even President Obama (cool to be smart again?), then being “different” becomes acceptable in the “Black community”. When can we break free of groupthink and realize that we are individuals first?

Of course, I’ve experienced the, “You’re the prettiest Black girl…” from Whites. I feel that my beauty is being marginalized on so many fronts, and the “compliment” becomes just plain insulting. I’ve also sat in classrooms where I felt Black women’s bodies were being denigrated and patronized (ex. “My butt looks like a Black girls.”; “My mom says, ‘look at Beyonce, she has curves’ and I was like ‘Mom, but she’s black!”). It kind of makes me feel embarrassed even though I’m very thin, lacking ass, as I’ve had many guys (both Black and White) tell me that I have “no ass for a Black girl,” which makes the statement related to my race. I’ve also had White guys refer to me as, “A sexy BLACK girl,” which again is about my race (thus creating a barrier), not my humanity as a woman. Whatever happened to being judged on character, not color? I do live in the South, though, but I’m sure intellectual Black people all around America have to deal with these slighted compliments, all the time.

Wow, didn’t mean to write an essay, just thought I’d throw in my two cents.
P.S. I LOVE Toni Morrison, especially The Bluest Eye, because it really made me question our societies standards of beauty and a look into understanding the less than feeling that women have about their looks.

I feel that the practice of “taking words back” is futile, because it only perpetuates their life-span and imposes its self on the next generation. With the term “oreo,” I feel that we would be accepting something that denies us a large portion of our identity as Blacks in America and further insulting our own race by acknowledging that we are above some perceived stereotype that slanders every individual of our race.

Vera Rose says:
Fri, 18th Sep 20096:02 pm

@Ally Haha, YES! The whole "you're not black enough" speech, I get pelted with it every time. Heck, there was one time a friend of mind went "oh man! I forgot you were black!" To be honest, I don't know how I feel about the whole, but I can say I feel somewhat ostracized at times. I get the…comments so frequently, I dunno if I'm getting desensitized or what.

Once I had a grown white male come up to me and say in genuine adoration, "wow, you sound like a cute little Jewish girl! Were you adopted or something?" I just…no…that's just how I am…

smh…

Chelseigh says:
Fri, 18th Sep 20096:51 pm

@ Kendra: Cause he was kind of implying that black girls aren't smart or pretty. And it was just such a new unheard of thing that I'm both. I can't do those dances anyway.

. In then OTHER black people go:

" Haha you can't dance: You're a white girl in a black girls body." also when I actually use CORRECT English they go "Ugh… you are so proper."

It is very screwed on both sides.

Its like the further we try to get out of the racial hole, the deeper someone is digging.

Monique says:
Fri, 25th Sep 200911:43 am

Ahh, Finally a blogger that I can relate to! Some people just won't ever understand how calling someone an "Orea". Just because of the way you dress, the music you listen to, the way you talk, the friends you have, and EVEN the type of sport you play…being called an Orea is SOO early millenium!! Don't worry, there are plenty of people just like us.

krissy says:
Mon, 16th Nov 20094:43 pm

An article in my school's online magazine brought my attention to this… the article had nothing to do with race but it's all the same because race doesn't actually exist. In any case, I'm glad I was lead to this article because it is something I've been dealing with my whole life,but somehow I've found myself at a place where no one thinks of me as an "oreo". To my new friends at college, I'm just a person. So of course, I've had to occasional person tell me I'm smart/pretty/have good taste in music for a black person, but the world is changing. Many are starting to realize that there are more differences between any two given white person than between a white person and a black person.

Vanessa says:
Thu, 7th Jan 20103:12 pm

Are you SURE she was calling you an Oreo JUST because of yoru score, or because of what you said/did/the way you sound? I'm sorry but I have made good grades my whole life and I have NEVER been accused of acting white. I grew up around blacks too. People say you act white because of the way you talk/dress/music etc. Not because you're smart. Im so sick of that stupid stereotype. And everyone accuses people of their race of not being black/asian/white enough-not just blacks. The valedictorian at my HS was a complete hoodrat (I hated her, not because she was from the hood but because we had age-old elementary school beef). You CAN be smart and not be accused of acting white, so stop perpetuating the idea that Blacks don't like intelligence. Generally when someone say sim acting white its because of the music I listen to. I refuse to listen to that garbage we call "rap". At least not the garbage on the radio.

Bria B. says:
Wed, 20th Jan 20107:46 am

Okay I am in high school right now..freshman. When I was in elementary school I was always around white people and not any other race alot. (BTW I am African-American) And when I left that school and went to middle school, I was around mostly African Americans. I all they said was you don't act "black"..and, "wow I guess your an oreo". Just because I am black doesn't mean that I have to act a particular way. I don't like listening to Hip-Hop, I listen to "white" music. "I don't dress like I'm "black". Is what they all say.

I am Tired of it. I have always been tired of stereotyping, and its really old to me. I mean we are like in 2010, we should be over all this. I hate it, and now in high school I am still stereotyped. I don't want to be stereotyped as the "black" girl who doesn't "black"…..

oreowriter says:
Mon, 15th Feb 201010:14 pm

I totally get it…and embrace it! You can, too! Join us at theoreoexperience.com

Kennn says:
Thu, 1st Jul 20105:24 am

Ugh Ugh Ugh i hate that term so very much i only been called it a few times but i don't even like other people being called it

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