Life After College: Thanks For The Advice

September 15, 2009 Posted in Reality

If I’ve learned nothing else since graduating (I’ve learned nothing else), I have learned that everyone turns into Dear Abby when they meet an unemployed person. I’ve gotten enough advice to write at least fourteen whole blogs on this topic, but don’t worry I’ll contain myself this time.

“Look on the the Internet for Jobs” – Esther Rosenwiezencrantz, age 85
Oh really, the internet? Is that where they are? Well darn, I can stop circling help wanted ads in the newspaper and turn on that new-fangled computer that sits in the corner of my room. I guess I just turn on this internet thing and a million jobs appear.

“Go to Grad School” – 10 +People in Grad school
Actually, I’ll tell you what, that advice isn’t applicable to my situation. I want to start making money, not go to grad school for something I’m not interested in and leave in more debt… and still unemployed.

“Just go to (fill in any television network) and hand them your resume, they’ll like your go getter attitude” – Grandfather
How can I explain that NBC is not a corner store selling horse feed and chewing tobacco? Handing my resume to the security team that won’t even let me near the first round of assistants I have to go through would be even less productive in my job search than me handing my resume to the coffee cart on my corner in hopes he knows someone.

“Marry Rich” – Gold digging friend with similar aspiration
While at first this seems to be a quick fix to my lack of an income problem, it presents a whole ‘nother series of challenges. First, finding someone to marry me; second, getting stressed about trying to be cast on Real Wives of New York: Season 7; and third, having to hire a divorce lawyer in a few years when my rich husband cheats on me with a newly unemployed college grad class of ’2013.

“Why not just write a book” – People who don’t think job = income
I get this a lot when I tell people I want to be a writer. And while in 2nd grade this seemed like the ideal job, I now know that spending a year writing a novel in a coffee shop not only means no salary or health insurance, but it also means brown teeth from sitting in a coffee shop all day drinking coffee. Also, I’ve aspired my whole life to spend my 20′s going to a job in perfectly matched J-Crew work outfits…and everyone knows writers only wear sweats all day. (Editor’s Note: True story.)

And the worst part about getting all this unsolicited advice is that I can’t respond with anything other than thank you, I’ll look into that.

So, thank you, people. I’ll look into that. Right after I get me one of them compooder thingies.

406938 Comments2009-09-15+19%3A00%3A09Jenni+-+Syracuse on "Life After College: Thanks For The Advice"

Mal says:
Tue, 15th Sep 200910:29 am

I want to be a writer too! What am I supposed to do if i don't really wanna be a journalist?

Rosy says:
Tue, 15th Sep 200911:04 am

If you're looking for a job you might want to try your school's career center. They typically will help you in your career search at no cost if you're a current student or an alumni. I hope this kinda helps.

erin says:
Tue, 15th Sep 200911:45 am

I love these, it's so what people say to you, especially the Go-Getter-attitude. You can't just walk up and be like "here's my awesome resume, I hope you like it alot I really want this job and i'm qualified". That is not how you get a good job or any job. My mom kept telling me to do that, no one hires like that unless it's Macy's or another retail store. Also I have never gotten any job through the computer, half the time I think people put those jobs but never check or respond them out of spite or stupidity. Unless you want a job at a retailer or Macy's. @Rosy, I know your trying to help but for many their Career Centers are not diverse enough to cover many careers that people really want, but if your looking for general work in most general fields of study they can work really well. Like I wanted to do visual merchandising, the person at the career center had no clue about what I was talking about, even when I broke it down.

When people try to give unsolicited advise I get super pissy and say I don't want to talk about it. That works pretty well, well unless your my mom and she can't keep her mouth shut.

Laurel says:
Tue, 15th Sep 200912:06 pm

The J-Crew outfits comment made me laugh out loud. I have also dreamed going to work everyday in cute J-Crew outfits. Now all I have to do is graduate college and find a job…..

Rose says:
Wed, 16th Sep 200911:03 am

First I don’t think you should be knocking sweats so much….I believe J-Crew makes a good pair and if that does not work for you there is an Italian festival down in SOHO that will bedazzle just about any pair of sweats you give them (its like advertising your creativity!!!…dare I say visual merchandising???) I also know of an aspiring TV producer who enjoys a good pair of sweats and he is doing so well that hes taking a month vacay around the country!!

Also glad to see that judging by your picture it seems you have received your diploma…with a ribbon no less…quite the Newhouse touch if you ask me. Oh and if Rosy’s idea does not work you could always just work in the career center and frustrate future generations of unemployed not-ivy-league-but-paying-ive-league-tuition graduates. And I would fact check that Ester Rosenwiezencrantz character….who even told her about the internet!

regina says:
Sun, 20th Sep 200910:37 am

I may be in grad school, but I never told you you had to go! I vote for marrying rich

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