So Everything ISN’T Bigger in Texas…

Fact: These boys aren't from Alaska

You know when you meet a great guy and you really hit it off? Everything is going swimmingly and you’re starting to imagine the wedding and the kids and the white picket fence, when you reach between his legs and… womp, womp, womp… all your dreams come crashing down.

It turns out that your tube of Nars Orgasm lipstick is bigger than what that dreamboat is packing. And you had no idea.

Disappointment and shame to follow.

Well, women of the world rejoice! Manhunt Daily has offered you salvation. Now instead of asking guys their star sign to see if you’ll jive, you can learn all you need to by simply finding out where they were born.

Manhunt compiled a list of the states in order of largest to smallest average penis size. And topping the charts at a whopping 7.59 inches is Washington, D.C.!  That’s fitting; it takes some big cajones to run this country, and now it’s been confirmed that they got they’ve got the joystick to match.

New York came in second at 7.50 inches, which truly shocked me. All this time I thought city guys were just overcompensating for what they were lacking in their nether regions. But as it turns out, they may be lying about their bloated bank accounts, but they have a right to be cocky about their cocks.

Coming in last at a small, but still respectable, 6.34 inches is Alaska. But what else did you expect? Imagine jumping into a freezing cold swimming pool every day when you step outside. One word: Shrinkage.

The days of wondering and worrying about what your man has going on under his jeans are over. The next time you meet a man from Delaware (#49 on the list) with an in-your-face bulge happening down below, expect to find an extra sock or two once the clothes come off.

But just remember, it’s not the size of the wave, but the motion of the ocean that counts, ladies.