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So Everything ISN’T Bigger in Texas…
September 16, 2009 Posted in Entertainment, HaHa
Fact: These boys aren't from Alaska
You know when you meet a great guy and you really hit it off? Everything is going swimmingly and you’re starting to imagine the wedding and the kids and the white picket fence, when you reach between his legs and… womp, womp, womp… all your dreams come crashing down.
It turns out that your tube of Nars Orgasm lipstick is bigger than what that dreamboat is packing. And you had no idea.
Disappointment and shame to follow.
Well, women of the world rejoice! Manhunt Daily has offered you salvation. Now instead of asking guys their star sign to see if you’ll jive, you can learn all you need to by simply finding out where they were born.
Manhunt compiled a list of the states in order of largest to smallest average penis size. And topping the charts at a whopping 7.59 inches is Washington, D.C.! That’s fitting; it takes some big cajones to run this country, and now it’s been confirmed that they got they’ve got the joystick to match.
New York came in second at 7.50 inches, which truly shocked me. All this time I thought city guys were just overcompensating for what they were lacking in their nether regions. But as it turns out, they may be lying about their bloated bank accounts, but they have a right to be cocky about their cocks.
Coming in last at a small, but still respectable, 6.34 inches is Alaska. But what else did you expect? Imagine jumping into a freezing cold swimming pool every day when you step outside. One word: Shrinkage.
The days of wondering and worrying about what your man has going on under his jeans are over. The next time you meet a man from Delaware (#49 on the list) with an in-your-face bulge happening down below, expect to find an extra sock or two once the clothes come off.
But just remember, it’s not the size of the wave, but the motion of the ocean that counts, ladies.
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Lauren - University says:
Wed, 16th Sep 20097:49 am
Ugh. As if Michigan winters weren't bad enough…
Su says:
Wed, 16th Sep 20098:29 am
haha oh idaho… I'm sad that you're 33rd but UR STILL ABOVE 7 INCHES! Take that alaska
Leigha says:
Wed, 16th Sep 200910:54 am
Isn't the average size 5 1/2 inches? So how can the smallest average size be over 6? I'm pretty sure there's some fudging going on there.
A says:
Wed, 16th Sep 200911:52 am
Agree with Leigha. Sounds like BS.
Erin says:
Wed, 16th Sep 20091:28 pm
Um…who conducts these studies and HOW can this be accurate? Oh wait, it can't.You really think random dudes all over the nation unzip their pants with a smile on their face and say "hey! stick that measuring tape right here next to my cock!"
Hell no.
PS: my BF is from Houston and I am MORE than thrilled with what the big man upstairs blessed him with, thank you very much.
Brooke says:
Wed, 16th Sep 20092:34 pm
Hopefully girls get aids for being so fucking stupid.
Casey says:
Wed, 16th Sep 20093:57 pm
Hmm. I can prove this wrong right now.
Florida is #4 on the list. My boyfriend is 8 inches maybe a little above, but he's the ONLY one that I have come across who is anywhere near that big. Here are the other sizes I've come across in Florida, 3, 4.5, 5, 5.5, 6.5, and 7. The average would be…5.6 MUCH smaller than the 7.44 that the list states.
Don't believe everything you read.
Jane says:
Wed, 16th Sep 20095:53 pm
I think the average is more like 5~6 inches.
Kendra says:
Wed, 16th Sep 20097:29 pm
Casey- So in other words, you are a fucking whore sleeping around because you were sexually abused as a child. Ok, got it. Thanks.
Casey says:
Wed, 16th Sep 20097:43 pm
Correction Kendra, I WAS a whore sleeping around because I was raped and sexually harassed when I was 14 so I figured, "well if it can be taken from me, then I might as well just do it anyway". But now I'm in a committed relationship so I'm only fucking one person.
Kendra says:
Wed, 16th Sep 20099:18 pm
Hopefully you have sought the proper counseling for being sexually abused and raped when you were 14. If not, you will seek out terrible guys over and over again. You need to make sure you seek the proper help. You're welcome for the free advice. Being hypersexual is always a sign of sexual abuse during childhood. I am a professional.
Zoe says:
Thu, 17th Sep 20094:18 am
Yeah, a professional at BS.
Casey says:
Thu, 17th Sep 20098:42 am
Hahahahaha!
As a psych major the fact that you call yourself a professional just makes me laugh.
Alex says:
Thu, 17th Sep 20093:48 pm
From the link:
"Now that we have cock size as a feature on MANHUNT profiles, we couldn't resist getting a feel for the our member's packages."
Not only does it look like Manhunt is a site for gay males, but members are entering their own sizes. I'd be surprised if this list is even close to accurate.
Kendra says:
Thu, 17th Sep 20097:46 pm
Casey- As a professional the fact that you were raped makes me laugh. Fucking scum. You deserved it. Don't you ever question my authority skank. You wanted to have sex at 14 you stupid whore. No wonder you got raped. Dressing like a slut, sexting, and on and on. Stupid cunt.
emily says:
Thu, 17th Sep 20099:04 pm
jesus kendra chill the fuck out we don't need you bullshit hatred here. why are you being such a cunt?
Kendra says:
Fri, 18th Sep 200912:03 am
Emily- So it is ok for Casey to ridicule the advice of a clinical psychiatrist who is an expert???? Give me a fucking break!!!! Casey thinks that her little worthless community college piece of shit certificate means something. LMFAO.
I am trying to make her realize that because of her terrible history with guys and being raped, she will continue to seek out terrible guys who aren't good for her. She needs to seek the proper treatment to deal with the sexual abuse issues from her past. Grow the fuck up Casey and listen to the expert.
Becca- Clarion Unive says:
Fri, 18th Sep 20095:17 am
ummmm…. where's the proof that you're an expert? Please, link us to a website, or picture of a business card…. Then I'll believe it.
"Pics of it didn't happen"
Hayden says:
Fri, 18th Sep 20095:34 am
I think this reads like a list of biggest liars: "1.DC, 2.New York, 3.California, 4.Florida". Give me a break
Casey says:
Fri, 18th Sep 200910:28 am
Guys, please don't feed the troll.
molly says:
Sun, 20th Sep 200911:18 am
Trolls make me laugh. Just ignore them.
Alexsa says:
Mon, 21st Sep 20096:32 pm
HAHAHA as a "professional" you handled that well Kendra. Lol, What do you beat your patients into admitting their problems and then charge them up the ass for your service? Or is it the other way around.