Cosmo Says The Darndest Things: October Edition
September 17, 2009 Posted in Entertainment, HaHa
Oh October Cosmo, how you make me lust for the crisp weather and Fall fashions you print on each page (that I won’t get to experience until mid-October down here in good ol’ humid-ass Florida). I can’t wait to make Katie Lee Joel’s ridiculously scrumptious looking bread pudding, and I found your expose on why Audrina is the new Heidi intellectually stimulating.
Your interview with Megan Fox had me admiring her acting talents (who could forget her as whats-her-name in that one Lindsay Lohan movie ), and getting annoyed with her while she pretended not to know she’s hot. I was beginning to worry about finding material for this month’s Cosmo Says! Then I turned to page 72, so that relationship expert Matt Titus could explain to me “Why He Calls You a Nag When You’re Not.”
Cosmo Says: Because his Mom told him what to do for 18 years, every man will resent doing what their wife or girlfriend asks them to do out of the fear that they will revert back to childhood.
Kari Says: Seriously? I understand that this article is meant to make me LOL (which it did, but I was laughing at it, not with it), however I tend to disagree. It’s one thing when Cosmo’s ladies grossly over-generalize the male population, but dude—you’re throwing your own kind under the bus here! Scientific polling of actual guys (a frat-tastic sophomore and two first year med students) shows that this is BS: guys don’t have a problem doing favors for their s.o.’s (and it doesn’t remind them of their adolescent chore-list).
Cosmo Says: Men know that calling you a nag is hitting way below the belt and will send you straight into mid-life crisis mode.
Kari Says: I don’t care if you call me a nag, but you’re going to keep hearing me repeat myself until you actually do the simple task that I asked of you. Come on, you have to already know this!
Cosmo Says: Yep Kari, you were right. Men totes know “that [they] make your repeated requests necessary in the first place.” Unfortunately, they are physically capable of listening to only 20% of what you say.
Kari Says: Again with the demeaning of the male population. My boyfriend happens to be very attentive and perfectly able to not only listen to 100% of what I say, but comprehend and react to it. Amazing! Please stop portraying all men as semi-developmentally challenged cavemen who respond only to ESPN.
Cosmo Says: Obvi, men can only operate on 24-hour schedules and anything outside of that timeline seems “light years away.” If you really need to get him to do something, compliment his pecs before you ask.
Kari Says: A little flattery never hurts, but a better tactic “to make your request stick in your man’s head” is to write him a Post-it note. If you still feel the need to comment on your boyfriend’s buff-ness, you can emphasize the compliment by patting them and simultaneously slapping your sticky note on there. Much easier to remember.
Cosmo Says: If all else fails and he still calls you a nag, do it yourself.
Kari Says: I’m all for DIY, but if I asked my boyfriend to do something for me, it was for a reason! If it got to the point where he spent so long ignoring my request that I had to start crossing things off his to-do list for him, the end result would definitely be more nagging.
Thank you, Cosmo, for yet another enlightening look into the male mind. I can only imagine what the divorce rate would be in this country if we all heeded this advice.
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Casey says:
Thu, 17th Sep 20099:48 am
I so feel you on the longing for fall weather. Florida sucks
emily says:
Thu, 17th Sep 20098:45 pm
my and my friends gather around every month when the new cosmo comes out to make fun of all the articles. so funny!
Casey says:
Sat, 19th Sep 20097:11 am
Criolle, I agreee that women shouldn't have the right to "tell their boyfriends what to do", but she said she asks him, not tells him, to do things. There is a difference. In a relationship you should be able to ask your S.O. to do something for you. My boyfriend and I ask EACH OTHER to do stuff for us. It's when the "asking" becomes one sided that there's an issue.
I don't know why you're bringing PMS into this (yes, I do, cause it's a girls site and you want to get a rise out of everyone), although I do agree that PMS isn't real. I don't understand why girls feel the need to bitch at everyone simply because they are bleeding and having cramps. Lay in bed, fine. Eat a lot fine, but NOTHING gives ANYONE the right to be a straight up bitch. I don't care how much pain you're in, don't take it out on other people, cause they're not the reason you're in pain. I've been menstruating for 10 years and have never felt the urge to bitch at anyone, OR be in a bad mood/ moody when it's "that time of the month". I never saw my mother get moody or bitchy around her time of the month either, but she also went through menopause without showing ANY symptoms AT ALL. I think it all has to do with your attitude and how well you handle things,and most girls DON'T handle certain things well. My boyfriends mother for example LOVES to get bitchy and moody and blame it on her period/ menopause and you can totally see right through her, she just bitches and is moody ALL THE TIME, but we've also started to realize that she most likely has a psychological disorder.
I realize girls get hormonal, but you CAN control those hormones if you have enough respect for other people.
Ken Kendall says:
Sat, 19th Sep 20098:18 am
Men are not idiots and only capable of hearing 20% of what you say. They are either committed to you and will do what they can, that doesn't mean everything you ask, but what they can, or they are selfish and no amount of asking is going to help.
If a man does not meet your needs and you stay with him, he is not an idiot, you are.
And before you decide that he is not meeting your needs, take a look at how well you meet his needs too. Don't be one of those high-maintenance girls that make your man prove he loves you by meeting unrealistic expectations. Make sure that you are doing all you can for him as well. If you are and he is not, dump him.
One mans opinion.
http://whatsheneedsfromyou.wordpress.com
criolle says:
Sat, 19th Sep 200911:39 am
The issue is not that you are a nag. The issue is not that he fails to listen. The issue is not his limited attention span.
The issue: “if I asked my boyfriend to do something for me, it was for a reason!”
Why-in-the-hell do you think YOU should tell HIM what to do? You mentioned this so glibly that you don’t even see the arrogance in it.
PMS means Princess Mentality Syndrome, a sense of entitlement. If “he spent so long ignoring” your request, you might just be out of line.
But, perhaps I’M the one nagging.
wunda says:
Fri, 25th Sep 200912:19 pm
nagging..is nagging.
cosmos written by a bunch of chicks who think they have an idea of how the male mind works..when in reality..it isnt brain surgery. Ask a guy to do something, if we say no, do it yourself. the act of you asking over and over (after we already said no) is called "nagging". So if we call you a nag..its because your nagging..theres no other definition for it.
a says:
Sat, 12th Dec 20097:57 pm
does anyone kno da name of da cologne in da megan fox edition of cosmopolitan???