Weekly Ten: The 10 TV Females We Wish We Were

September 21, 2009 - 12:00 pm By Melanie - Northeastern University

Every week I count backwards from ten. I know, I’m kind of a big deal. Usually these countdowns have a theme like which phrases really grind my gears (“grind my gears” should be mentioned) or how I’m still effing sober, despite the fact that I could really go for a dirty martini right now.

I know it’s early, stop judging.

This week, in light of the ever-riveting Emmys, I’ve decided to countdown the ten primetime ladies that I wish I could be in real life. Most of them are from currently aired shows, but of course I had to let some of my canceled favorites slip by.

10. Cuddy – House
Who wouldn’t love to work with the ever lovable Dr. House? Cuddy is a complete non-pushover HBIC (look it up) who always looks fierce. And her hair is never out of place! Unlike that awful Cameron. Barf.

9. Lucille Bluth – Arrested Development
Why did this show get canceled? Why? I hope one day to be Lucille when I’m a “Gangy,” dirty martini in hand and Chanel skirt suits never out of place. Hopefully I’ll be slightly less mentally damaging to my family, though. Slightly.

8. Heidi Klum – Project Runway
The only non-fictional character on the list. This one’s a no brainer. Except I’m not sure how I’d go home to Seal every night.

7. Pam – The Office
I’m not a huge Pam fan. In fact, I was totally Team Karen while she was on the show. But, she has Jim Halpert (John Krasinski) and that’s all I need.

6. Buffy – Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I don’t watch True Blood, I don’t care for that Twilight nonsense and I will never, ever believe that there are vampires comparable to Spike or Angel out there. Here’s to the original ass-kicking, vampire slaying valley girl that everyone knows and loves. Without her, this vampire craze probably wouldn’t exist.

5. Blair Waldorf – Gossip Girl
If I can’t be Blair, just let me have her wardrobe. Or her love life.

4. Liz Lemon – 30 Rock
While I adore Toni Collette in the new series, “U.S. of Tara,” Tina Fey was robbed last night. Robbed! I heart Liz Lemon and it would be such a treat to try and wrangle Tracy, Jack and Kenneth on a weekly basis in 30 Rockerfeller Center, no matter how pathetic Liz’s personal life is.

3. Nancy Botwin – Weeds
Who doesn’t love stoned suburbia? Best show ever.

2. Sookie – True Blood
Like I said, don’t watch the show. However, that hottie Bill that I see hanging around the cast pictures? Yeah, okay, maybe I’ll Netflix it.

1. Joan Holloway – Mad Men
I mean, have you seen her?

What TV chicas did I miss? Fill me in!

36 Comments   Posted in Buzz, Entertainment, HaHa
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36 Comments on "Weekly Ten: The 10 TV Females We Wish We Were"

  1. KM says:
    Mon, 21st Sep 20091:49 pm 

    Totally missed Addison Montgomery from Grey’s Anatomy/Private Practice.

    Talk about an HBIC.

  2. Ace says:
    Mon, 21st Sep 20094:23 pm 

    Dork confession: There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think, this would be soooo much better if I were Buffy. Going through my current break up would be a hell of a lot easier if I could go wail on a vampire or say hey hunnie, shut up, I gotta save the world.

  3. Brithny - Duke University says:
    Mon, 21st Sep 20095:24 pm 

    I would actually rather be Serena in GG- she’s the one with Dan :P

  4. Melanie - Northeastern University says:
    Mon, 21st Sep 20095:33 pm 

    Ace… I think we’re soulmates.

  5. Gwenivere says:
    Mon, 21st Sep 20098:46 pm 

    Hands down Buffy. Buffy Summers will always be the ultimate fictional girl character. Except that phase that she was with Riley. Scared me for a second, but then she got back on track to be a hot chick that totally kicks ass.

  6. Melanie - Northeastern University says:
    Mon, 21st Sep 20099:21 pm 

    Riley was the worst! The only thing cooler than being Buffy… would be being Faith.

  7. shari says:
    Mon, 21st Sep 200911:51 pm 

    what about veronica mars?! she is just about the coolest girl character to ever be on tv. everyone that’s seen the show is obsessed with her! lol

  8. shari says:
    Mon, 21st Sep 200911:58 pm 

    i think you’re mistaking “good show” with “who you wish you were”. would you really want to be nancy botwin? her life is always being threatened, she was basically just forced to have a baby by her controlling hunsband, her past two husbands died, both of her kids are beyond screwed up and it’s her fault, one of her children just got shot (and possibly committed murder) because of her, and she is constantly under stress due to the nature of her job and life. i don’t know anyone that would want to be her.

  9. Gwenivere says:
    Tue, 22nd Sep 20092:31 am 

    Melanie- Yeah Faith was awesome too, but Buffy had Willow and Xander. As a fictional character goes, you really can’t top having those two as your best friends!

  10. April says:
    Tue, 22nd Sep 20099:19 am 

    I’m with you on Buffy… and especially Angel and Spike. I’m a huge Twilight fan, but I’d take Angel over Edward ANY DAY.

  11. J says:
    Tue, 22nd Sep 200912:39 pm 

    I wouldn’t mind stepping into Ronnie Mars’ shoes for a while, but as for the Buffyverse, give me Willow over Buffy! Magic powers AND cute red hair? yes please! :P
    I’d also like to add adele dewitte from Dollhouse. I can only hope that I will be looking so good in my fancy business lady clothes when I’m that age.

  12. Melanie - Northeastern University says:
    Tue, 22nd Sep 20094:07 pm 

    Ooooh I forgot about Miss Mars. Nothing beats her sassy attitude and sleuthing skills. I had a super huge crush on Ryan Hansen (Dick) when the show was on the air. Ugh, that hair.

  13. Darwin says:
    Tue, 22nd Sep 20097:08 pm 

    Shari, good one! Veronica Mars should so be on the list. This world needs more quick witted sarcastic comments floating around.

    Veronica Mars nerds vs. the Buffyverse (suspense)

  14. Marisa says:
    Wed, 23rd Sep 200910:05 am 

    Veronica Mars, definitely! “See this? It’s my over-the-moon face.”

    And Rory Gilmore! Oh, what I’d give to spend just one day making out with Jess Mariano…

  15. Elsie says:
    Wed, 23rd Sep 200910:57 am 

    I want to be Abby on NCIS… she is one cool chick, Ever confident in her ability. She knows who she is, love the adult goth life she leads. Yet, she has a loving and vulnerable side. She loves her team without hesitation, he loves animals and she bowls with nuns! Ok, maybe a little lacking on the love life, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

  16. Cherriej says:
    Wed, 23rd Sep 20091:05 pm 

    Thank you for the Buffy shout out!! All this Twilight nonsense– as if any vampire could be sexier than Angel or Spike! Also, being Buffy would be awesome, except without the angst over not having an un-slayer life. BUFFY RULES!!!

  17. Melanie - Northeastern University says:
    Wed, 23rd Sep 20091:19 pm 

    Ahhhh I’m so happy there are all these other undercover Buffy nerd girls out there and I’m not alone (with my 7 seasons of box sets)!

  18. courtney says:
    Wed, 23rd Sep 20092:03 pm 

    Definitely Sookie, and then Blair. As long as you have those 2 on the lists I’m good! And forget Stephen Moyer! It’s all about the Alexander Skarsgard.

  19. Al says:
    Wed, 23rd Sep 20094:42 pm 

    I think it’s kind of depressing the level in which women are so desperate to be or look like other women. There is probably nothing wrong with you that a trip to Sephora and an hour in the gym/7 days a week can’t fix (That might’ve been a joke). Also, Heidi Klum is pretty… manly-looking, but aren’t most fashion models (i.e. Gisele, Isabelli etc.)?

    The only woman on this list that I actually like is Cutty, because, as you said she’s the HBIC. Seriously.

  20. alice says:
    Wed, 23rd Sep 20095:50 pm 

    okay ….that may seem strange but id love to be so quick-witted like fran fine

    and have maxwell sheffield

    or a bich like blair :)

  21. Brittany says:
    Wed, 23rd Sep 200910:19 pm 

    Wow, who ever wrote this, is pretty stupid.
    First, Buffy is completely lame. The vampire craze has nothing to do with that show. It’s because of Twilight.
    Second, the fact that you want the love life of Blair and pitty that of Liz Lemon, basically means you wish you were a whore. Even more sad, is the fact that, the reason you want Blair’s love life, probably means you aren’t anything to look at. I wish you luck in that arena.
    Third, if you haven’t seen True Blood, and you only want to be Sookie because of Bill, then you really need to grow up and realize that life isn’t all about sex and men.

  22. Diana says:
    Thu, 24th Sep 20099:34 am 

    I think you missed actual..uhm..SMART women on this list. How about Olivia Benson from ‘Law & Order SVU’? Or Temperance Brennan or her friends Angela and Cam from ‘Bones’? You know, women who do things other than shop, fuck, and angst? Hell, even Rory Gilmore is better than those tarts from ‘Gossip Girl’.

  23. Star says:
    Thu, 24th Sep 200911:55 pm 

    I hope you don’t actually think the vampire craze started because of Twilight. Lol! Oh you poor, pathetic girl still stuck in the body of a preteen girl. Vampires were around long before Twilight. And the real vampires don’t sparkle in the sunlight ;)

  24. Ace says:
    Fri, 25th Sep 20096:36 pm 

    Melanie, we must be soul mates! We go to the same school and we’re both Buffy nerds. I too have all 7 seasons. And yes, I watch them constantly!

  25. ninanina says:
    Sat, 26th Sep 200910:49 am 

    joan halloway! firstly mad men is fantastic. secondly, if i could control men the way she does, i would have a lot less problems!

  26. Brittany says:
    Sat, 26th Sep 200910:46 pm 

    Star, I wish i was a preteen girl. But i am far from it. As i have been around long enough to have known about Buffy, i know the craze didn’t start from that. Thus this new crave, which started only a few short years ago, must have started from Twilight. I don’t necessarily understand the craze, but it is what it is. If you don’t think the vampire craze started from twilight, then where? As i said, there is no way it started from Buffy. Kids now a-days probably don’t even know what Buffy is.

  27. Cassie says:
    Sun, 27th Sep 200910:45 pm 

    Brittany, I’m not saying that it started with Buffy, but I really doubt it started with Twilight either. There have been an epic ton of Vampire-based books that came out before Twilight ever began. I’ve been a peruser of the teen fiction section at both my library and Barnes and Noble’s and have been getting those books for ages now. Twilight has just been the most hyped since it has vampires that break the mold of the typical vampire story. Thats it. Plus there are so many much more talented writers than Stefani Meyers is. So no way that she began it. (Rant done)

    In response to the piece, I do agree heavilly with Sookie. She is a strong character with morals. (But the books are so much better than the show….)

  28. Brad Wellen says:
    Mon, 28th Sep 20098:49 am 

    Survive the Grind with Sporcle http://www.precioustimeny.com/blog/?p=4893

  29. Ken Kendall says:
    Thu, 1st Oct 20095:33 pm 

    I have to agree about Arrested Development. I don’t know why they cancelled it. That was one of the funniest shows ever on TV.

    That aside, I don’t know why girls aspire to be other women when you can aspire to just being great. Having a great husband. Having a great life. Make it all about you.

    Keep checking in at my blog to see what great men should be like.

    http://whatsheneedsfromyou.wordpress.com

    Thanks,

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