Jamie says:
Sat, 26th Sep 20091:27 pm 

My 20th birthday was last tuesday, and i was seriously thinking it was just me that was freaking out. I hate being twenty, its like over night everyone expects me to grow up and be more responsible. And well…i'm not ready for it. I have a full-time job and i'm a full-time student, but aside from that, i'm not ready for more responsibility.

The freakiest part of being 20, everyone on my dad's side of the family is expecting me to get married soon and start having kids. Something i'm DEF!!! not ready for. I mean i'm not even in a serious relationship right now much less ready to be engaged.

So i'm dying to be 19 again…or fastforward to 21…at least then i could legally drink my age woe's away.

Jess says:
Sat, 26th Sep 20092:31 pm 

I seriously couldn't agree with you more! Your article has great timing because I'm turning 20 this Saturday and I don't even want to think about it. It's like I don't have enough pressures and responsibilities as it is that now I have to be an adult by putting a "2" as the first digit of my age. I can't believe I've been alive for 2 whole decades D:

Also Jess says:
Sat, 26th Sep 20092:46 pm 

I've been 20 for several weeks now, and I don't feel different at all. I never think about being 20. As far as I'm concerned, I'm still 17. When I look in the mirror and say I'm 20, I don't believe myself. It's so weird, it's like I'm lying. 20 is such a weird age, not scary I don't think, just really weird.

Nina says:
Sat, 26th Sep 20093:03 pm 

If you think turning 20 is scary, try turning 22…At least you still have turning 21 to look forward to. I'm telling ya my friend after 21 it's just downhill.

Beth says:
Sat, 26th Sep 20093:22 pm 

20 is nothing! Wait til you're facing 30.

Jen says:
Sat, 26th Sep 20093:25 pm 

I turned 22 a few months ago and felt so old. Which is sad, just wait until we're all in our 50's and how amusing this will be looking back.

mella says:
Sat, 26th Sep 20094:09 pm 

I CRIED the morning of my 20th birthday…and when ppl ask how old i am i cringe every time i have to say 20. i know it sounds silly but i feel like i should have soooo much more accomplished by now.

Kelsey says:
Sat, 26th Sep 20094:19 pm 

I, like you, am freaked out about turning 20. Something about not having -teen attached to the end of my name scares me to death. Maybe it's becuase I am the youngest of five children and have always been the "baby". Who know, either way i've been telling my friends for years to expect my mid-life crisis to happen when i'm 20 instead of 40.

Liv says:
Sat, 26th Sep 20095:43 pm 

You’re basically me last year. I had the craziest anxiety about not being a teenager anymore and thought my life would somehow end at midnight of my birthday. I promise it’s not as bad as you think! Birthdays after my 21st, however, still scare the hell out of me.. so I don’t even think about that.

groundlow says:
Sat, 26th Sep 20098:12 pm 

Ah! I'm turning 20 in 2 months and thought I was weird for being so worried about it. The idea of not being a teenager anymore is scaring me. I still feel like a teenager and I don't feel mature enough to be 20. Plus, I look like I'm 16! Like my sister, I think I'm going to continue to look a lot younger than my real age, even as I get older. She's in her late 20s now and up until recently people have been mistaking her for a 16-18 year old. It's going to happen to me too, and I'm going to be annoyed by it. But I guess as I get even older, looking younger than my real age will become a blessing.

Samantha says:
Sat, 26th Sep 20098:15 pm 

I am 23 and feel like absolute shitty fuckface shit every single day. Try to mooch off your parents as long as you can. As you get older though, it gets harder and harder to do. Fuck you time!!!!!!

Erin says:
Sun, 27th Sep 20091:46 am 

No offense but 20 is nothing, I'm 23 now, even though I can relate you are being very dramatic over nothing. I understand responsibility and needing to take care of yourself but you must realize that if you think life stops being fun your right but at the same time your being quite ridiculous.

I think the step into adulthood is college, so what have you been doing there, my guess? Getting drunk and screwing around from the sounds of this essay, which is all great but you never learned responsibility and taking charge of your life through your work or lessons. It happens to alot of young people.

You know what your right, life does stop being fun, but your acting like a child when you say that, you have to understand that the freedom and ability to make your own choices and not beg mommy and daddy for money are worth it much more than being a child at 20. Taxes, not that hard at our age, insurance is not really a needed thing for most of us at this age, you can go to planned parenthood for the gyno, I'm pretty sure you can balance a check book at this age so you can pay some bills, getting up at the same time everyday to work not that hard, doing your own laundry easy.

Life stops being totes awesome at some point, but you must realize your view will change and you will enjoy simpler things. The Fun Life is not all about keggers and getting shitfaced with your sorority sisters, you will see that when you have a job and new friends and responsibilities it can be just as nice to relax on a friday night by sitting on your couch with a bottle of wine and left overs and do something you actually enjoy or watch a show you never have time for. You have a lot to growing up to do, you seem less mature for your age than I thought so really it's up to you not to drive yourself crazy with delusion.

Nathalie says:
Sun, 27th Sep 20095:05 am 

I really enjoyed this article. I'm not turning twenty for a few months, but I recently attended an event that my old high school swim team is a part of. It was so strange to think that in two years I wouldn't know anyone at the school I called my home. It would stop being a place of familiar faces and it would become a foreign location where I spent four years of my life. I barely knew anyone on the swim team anymore. I don't believe you were being dramatic over something ridiculous–on the contrary, I believe it's more about just turning twenty years old. It's about the constant change that's occurring in our lives right now and the passage of time. Time is something so abstract it's easy for it to elude us. I would have never thought I would be slowly watching everything that has become familiar to me all my life fade into a memory. A lot of the people that mean most to me are on the other side of the USA in different time zones. But I think it's important to savor every moment that you are nineteen, twenty, thirty, fifty and so on because every year will bring a unique flavor into your life and if we're too busy looking to the past, that moment will pass us by as well.

Brittany says:
Sun, 27th Sep 20095:43 am 

I like having rich parents. It makes everything so much easier. I love just sitting on my ass doing nothing all day. It doesn't even matter what I do. All I have to do is go to the ATM and withdraw the money they put into my account. Life fucking is great. I can't wait for my grandpa to die. My inheritance is amazing. Thank you God.

I am sure everyone feels the same way.

Zahra- Northwestern says:
Sun, 27th Sep 20097:38 am 

Actually, Erin, I haven't been getting drunk and screwing around. I've been working two jobs to pay for school myself so I'm actually not "begging mommy and daddy for money," as you assume. Keggers aren't my thing, I'm not in a sorority. Also, I love hanging out with my friends on weekend nights, just watching movies and talking. If you disagree with my viewpoint, that's fine, but please don't just assume random things about me that you have no reason to believe.

Everyone else, I'm glad you feel the same! It's kind of freaky that it's going by so quickly. Groundlow, I get carded for R-rated movies haha…but yes I've heard it'll become a blessing in the future. Jamie, I think it's crazy that so many people meet their spouses in college…so I definitely feel you on the marriage thing. And Kelsey, I call that the "quarter-life crisis," and from the response to this article, it seems like many people will be experiencing it along with you.

As always, thanks for the feedback!

Casey says:
Sun, 27th Sep 20098:11 am 

Don't worry, It not all totally bad. Life is what you make it. I didn't want to grow up either (but my not wanting to grow up happened senior year, I DID NOT want to go to college!) After I entered college though I stopped thinking about getting older. Time for me kind of just stopped when college began, and I don't think it will start going again until after I graduate (it's like college is a little time capsule) if you think about it that way, then it's not so bad. Unlike you though, my 20th birthday was awesome! I met my boyfriend that night, so I have fond memories. And, like other posters said, you still have 21 to look forward to (I wasn't too excited about mine though, cause I don't really drink that often). But as long as you're still in school you don't really have to take on THAT many more responsibilities, you're still considered a dependent if you're a full time student under 26 (at least in Florida. I'm not sure if it's different in other states or not).

Just enjoy turning 20, you're still young, you still have a long life ahead, and plenty of time to "grow up". It doesn't happen all at once. Happy Birthday!

Lynne says:
Sun, 27th Sep 20099:07 am 

my 20th birthday was 2 weeks ago and I freaked out! I was having mild panic attacks about not being a teen anymore.

Now I'm 20 and things are pretty much the same.

I'm glad I'm growing up.

Caroline says:
Sun, 27th Sep 20099:38 am 

I just turned 20 on the 16th and was freaking out about it, all my friends were excited for my birthday while I just sat there shaking in fear(I really was shaking my friend gave me a hug and was confused by it). At midnight I had an existential breakdown to turning 20 and while every one was trying to convince me it wasn't too old, especially people who were already 20 and had been for awhile, it did not make it better.

All the reasons why you say it's terrifying were what I thought, it's still weird telling people I'm 20 or pressing 2-0 on the elliptical at the gym.

El says:
Sun, 27th Sep 200912:16 pm 

I could have written this article. I hate birthdays (well i didn't until about 19)- sometimes I feel like I'm still a teenager stuck in a 20 year old body. I remember being 16 and being like, wow, i'm like so cool and old. Now I'm 20 and a year or two away from reality slapping me in the face. college is SO MUCH FUN and having to leave it to be 'an adult' seems so unfair!!

I guess the main point is I'm having such a great time right now that I don't want anything to change.

Whats important to note though, is you can't stop change from happening- the 'prime of our lives' is NOT college, and life will just get more exciting and amazing every single year. It'll take me a while to work on this viewpoint, but hopefully we'll all be better off for it

Claire says:
Sun, 27th Sep 20091:02 pm 

I just turned 23! I almost threw up, but don't worry it gets easier. I'm engaged and even though growing up is SO hard, you really start to have your own life and everything is up to you

cosmicpixie says:
Sun, 27th Sep 20093:55 pm 

20 was scary, 21 was liberating and 25 was a complete meltdown. Once you reach 25, you start to realize you’re half way to 50, and you’re closer to 30 than 20. You start feeling really uncool (old mostly) and begin to wonder if it’s safe to go into places like Abercrombie & Fitch, or still shop in the juniors department at Nordstrom.

At 25, you start feeling frumpy and it takes longer to get ready in the morning (gotta hide the under eye circles, camouflage the sun spots and erase the wrinkles around the eyes. Don’t forget to apply sun block and a nice facial primer!) At night, it takes longer to get ready for bed (remove face make up, exfoliate face, neck and decolletage, apply purifying mud mask, wait 20 minutes, then rinse and complete the process by slathering on three pounds of face cream. By the time you make it to bed, your significant other is already asleep!

Don’t even get me started on the perks of waxing! All I will say is that the older you get, the more hair you get. And it starts showing up in random places you’d never thought was possible.

Ugh….I don’t even want to think about turning 30.

Charlsie - Hollins University says:
Sun, 27th Sep 20094:33 pm 

When I turned 20, a week or two before my birthday … I had constant anxiety about it. And when the day came around, it was a complete debacle. Everything went wrong, from my dinner reservations to my party. I spent the night crying under my desk in my dorm room, while my friends started to freak out about what turning 20 would mean for them.

Every single person that has turned 20 has had some kind of failed birthday. I guess it’s just the age, honestly. But … 21 is a great year, so you have something to look forward to.

Ellie says:
Sun, 27th Sep 20094:43 pm 

To be honest, I’m glad I’m twenty. Being a teenager sucks, and fun doesn’t go away until mid to late twenties at least (There’s a bit of an adjustment getting out of college, but most of my graduated friends are having a great time and were ready to leave college. Plus, what you are looking for changes as you get older – your life mid-twenties seems terrible at this age, but by the time you get there, you might be very happy with it and actually not want to return to when you were 19!). Though it is not directly tied to number of years, with age comes a greater knowledge, confidence, and comfort with yourself. Last year I wished I was still a freshman – now I don’t. I like my grown-up self better.

mollination says:
Sun, 27th Sep 20094:01 pm 

I know it's scary – and I was scared at 19 too. Mostly, just unhappy. I knew how to be a teenager, and I was damn good at it. I didn't want all my free-passes to automatically dissapear just because I was a big kid.

But I just want to tell you it's okay. It's actually really fun up here, and nothing changes. Actually, things do change. They get even better.

BESIDES, we have five whole years until we really have to worry. Twenty-five…..:::shivers::::….

Erin says:
Mon, 28th Sep 200910:31 am 

Zahra- Northwestern University, I was just going on what i have read from most of the not-so-responsible writers, I'm sorry I asumed you were one of them, If you had pointed out that you were already a responsible adult who is mearly in college and not an overaged kindergartner as some writers on here seem to be i would have written a comment that was much nicer and supportive and less chastising. Sorry that I assumed that I have to say then that you will be just fine and it will pass. I'm sorry I can't be nicer about this, as I was brought up to tell most people "sorry thats life and it's shit, deal with it", however I have gone through this and the best thing you can do try not to let your emotions get away from you with dreadful thoughts, even though you do need to think about your future.

Gwenivere says:
Mon, 28th Sep 200912:01 pm 

I feel you on the birthday thing. I don't look forward to my birthdays anymore now that I am 23. It just seems like they fly by too fast. However, people still think that I am 18 when they meet me, so I guess I am lucky in that department. If they ask how old I am I always ask "How old do I look?" they usually say "18?" and I just say "let's go with that". My boyfriend has the same problem, he's about to be thirty and people think he is 19. We kind of just embrace it. The worst thing about getting older is bills. Bills suck, but growing up is something we all have to do. It's just better when you have people that you can do it with together for support. Don't worry if your 20th birthday sucks because I agree with Charlsie about 20th birthdays. Mine wasn't great either. But your 21 will most likely be better. Just look foreward to that one.

Megan says:
Tue, 29th Sep 20097:38 am 

I LOVED being 20! It felt awesome to not have to say the "teen" at the end of my age. However, I think 21 is probably the best age. I will be 22 in March and that's the age I'm NOT looking forward to. That's really when I have to start growing up & being on my own in the real world.

Allen says:
Tue, 29th Sep 200910:14 am 

I just turned 20 and am so depressed. Maybe it's because I'm an immature guy, but it just feels like there's this heavy anxiety weighing down on me. "I'm not a kid anymore," I tell myself, but I seem to act like a 16 year old at times and I feel out of place hanging with my older(23+) friends. It's kinda like I can't go back to hanging with -18 yr olds, but with them it's easier to act immature xD

I don't know. Maybe in a few months I'll get over it, but for now I can only drink away the tears.

Oh, wait. No I can't T-T

Elinor says:
Tue, 29th Sep 20091:00 pm 

I'm working with a company called I want to be a baby!

Check us out on facebook or on line http://iwanttobeababy.com/

Eli says:
Wed, 30th Sep 20094:22 pm 

I freaked out about turning 18 and every birthday since. I turned 20 this summer and everyday I just feel more pressure to leave my mom's house but its really hard living in NYC. I constantly feel this anxiety that I'm not doing enough and everyone's waiting for me to leave. I hate it.

shiNIN says:
Thu, 1st Oct 20099:46 am 

I never understand people who said "I'm feeling OLD" at 16 or 20 or even 30…

I'm 33 now and don't feel old at all. oh and my idea of fun hasn't matured. and what? I earn money and do completely mature things too, I bought a motorbike, for example =)

the concrete numbers are unimportant. and around 30 one is still young and all.

I understand your thoughts about responsibility though… even if I was looking forward to be independent, having more freedom… it's not such a big deal. some work you enjoy, some household chores, only the minimal, who cares the windows aren't always in the best condition, these things are endless and life is too short if you're as curious as I am… priorities, we need them!

becoming older isn't such a horrible thing in itself. the problematic thing is when someone waste her/his time. and reach 20…30…40… and still didn't realized her/his goals, dreams start to fade, eyes become less shiny… well, that must be frightening and deeply tragic…

silly kids

[I wrote this very quickly, I hope I didn't kill English grammar too much, it's not my first (or second) language]

shiNIN says:
Thu, 1st Oct 20099:50 am 

oh yeah, I have nothing to do with this site I guess, I just ended up here after a google search

such things never troubled me the slightest

christy says:
Thu, 1st Oct 200910:03 pm 

thats me every year. I have NEVER wanted to get older. Even going into 3rd grade.

Katie says:
Fri, 2nd Oct 20099:37 am 

i almost cried on my 20th birthday last year. now, it is almost to my 21st, and i still am not excited. i dont feel like i am 21, i mean i never even felt like i was 20! everyone always says that age is just a number though, thats what they keep telling me anyway…

it doesnt matter though, all my friends are still threatening me with bejeweled canes this year!

Andrew says:
Fri, 2nd Oct 20097:39 pm 

Wait until your final year in college. The midlife crisis hits hard.

Maxine says:
Wed, 11th Nov 20093:29 am 

Hey, like a few of you, I’ll be turning 20 very soon. 61 days to be exact..

Every year, ever since I started getting up to the 17′s, 18′s 19′s, I freak out- a lot. At first I’m terrified, because yes, I’m getting older, more responsibilities. Then there’s thinking vainly about your appearance, getting a career, surviving on your own, etc. I’m still nerve wracked about turning 20, but my past birthdays are always the same; constantly psyching myself out the days before the big day, and when it arrives.. I’m okay. So what? I’ll be a year older, but it doesn’t mean the world suddenly crashes down on you! It slowly comes with time, eases it ways up from the ground so you’re well aware of it.

I’m currently going to be attending College and then University afterwords, so I have to look seriously in my career- which is ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING! At first in high school I wanted to be an Arbitrator (type of lawyer that just deals with documents), and I loved Law, so I had no problem. I decided to work for a year and a half after graduation, because I wanted to earn extra cash for college life, gas, food, etc. Slowly I began to freak out, as I started putting together my application to a certain college. I freaked out so much I almost started crying. Did I really want to go into this field? Or would I be ones of those people who think they’re going for the right job, but end up 20 years later, regretting it and going back for courses on their dream job?

No!

So what did I do? I sucked it up and researched my other talents (history, art, geology), just had fun with life, visited friends, found myself.. and now I’m proud to say I’ll be going into the field of art restoration! I’m extremely happy, and I feel very grown up!

Life’s about taking leaps- eyes wide open, or blind folded and hands behind your back! So take a deep breath and take the plunge!

And why are you people freaking out about not having fun? Just because you get older, doesn’t mean you’ll stop having fun- unless you want to! I’ll never let go of my inner child, my passions, dancing in clubs, movies nights, not having parents around to tell you what to do, going to amusement parks, planning and saving up for exotic vacations around the world, and my excitement for life and the next stages of becoming older! You only get one chance, one lifetime to make the best of it. Because unlike your video games, you only have so many chances, before it’s game over.

So make sure you jump!

DtoM says:
Wed, 11th Nov 20091:27 pm 

You all are fucking dumb … grow up and move on, everyone does it; except for the ones who die, so kill yourself: problem solved. I'll be 25 in a couple months and I still get just as drunk and have just as much fun as I did when I was 21ish. Plus I have a good job, so I can afford more fun and nicer things. It's all in how you look at it people.

Sarah says:
Mon, 16th Nov 20096:52 am 

I'm turning 20 in March, and I'm honestly looking forward to it. Midnight on my 18th didn't magically turn me into an adult, and I'm well aware that midnight on my 20th isn't going to do it either. (I am convinced, however, that midnight on my 20th will be amazing – planning on going to a strip club with my radio station and my best friends. It will be quite a night to remember.)

Stephanie says:
Wed, 23rd Dec 20092:11 pm 

I'm turning 20 in July and not looking forward to it either! There's a strong possibility that I might be doing an internship in Germany during the summer and I might just skip my b-day all together. Not that I love being 19, so far every year since 17 has sucked a lot. I don't want to stay 19, I just want to get a re-do on the past years before I have to be 20, an adult with responsibility and crap. I bought a car last year because I thought I could handle the responsibility and now all I want to do is give it back and never leave my parents house.

ana says:
Tue, 23rd Mar 20106:23 am 

thinks that it is normal to freak out about time passing….but also think its absurd to freak out over turning 20!! when you get into your 30s your going to regret freaking out about being in your 20s, what eric said, your freaking out over nothing!

DtoM is being a lil harsh, but he is absolutley right!

Brittany says:
Sun, 16th May 20108:54 pm 

I turn twenty today. And I don't like it at all. I feel old, not older even though I'm, by far, the youngest person in my group of friends and the second youngest out of all my cousins on BOTH sides of my family (my little brother being the youngest at 14). I'm still dependent on my parents, still in college, and there aren't going to be any huge changes anytime soon. I think it's just the number itself that scares me. I've been trying to force myself to enjoy this day and ignore the fact that I'm not a teen anymore, but it won't go away.

The more I look at it, I know that turning twenty isn't as big of a deal as I'm making it. I don't work AT ALL, don't pay any bills, still hang out with my friends who do have jobs, I still look like I'm just in middle school (I get asked all the time if I go to the local middle school). It really isn't that bad, and my brain knows it. I know I'll get over it eventually, but it'll take time.

DEM says:
Sat, 11th Jun 20119:04 pm 

Fuck it's happening to me this year, it feels like I'm too old to enjoy what I enjoyed before. Fuck fuck fuck. At least if I was a girl I could cry about it and acting immature would be cute. FUCK