These 5 College Profs Put The “F” in Professor

October 1, 2009 3:00 pm     Posted in Back to School, Reality  Brianna-Fordham University g+ page

college professor

"Are you saying you disagree with my theory as outlined on page 182 of my book?"

So class isn’t always our first priority at school. Okay, maybe it never is. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t enjoy some of them. Once you get past that pain-in-the-ass core requirement list, you can actually take classes that interest you.


By Brianna

But whether the class is right up your alley, or you can’t wait for it to be over, there are always those professors who are going to make that 3 hours a week a living hell.

Rate My Professor may help weed out which specific professors suck a fatty, but there are so many that slip through the cracks. And they’re everywhere. On every campus. In every major. And with the stress of midterms coming up, we need to vent. These professor characters are really starting to get on our nerves!

The Bitter Professor
Who hasn’t had one of these teachers? Their life long dream was to be an actor, or a novelist, or a groundbreaking scientist. Instead they ended up teaching others about the topic so that perhaps they can go on and accomplish what the professor couldn’t. And as we all go on and graduate, they are stuck teaching the same lesson plans over and over and over until they retire. They are painfully aware of this fact, and they will take any and every opportunity to torture you (tests, quizzes and 25-page papers) in order to ease their own bitterness.

The Author Professor
They are extremely smart and have been successful in their field. Props for that. But using your class as a PR tool? Not cool. No, we do not want to buy your overpriced book. No, we do not want to read all 385 pages. And no, we do not want to spend a semester discussing your theory on 18th century literature. Sadly, we really don’t have a choice, and to get that “A” we will be forced to spend a whole semester kissing your butt and writing papers that merely agree with and celebrate whatever it is you think.

The Delusional Professor
The class is a requirement, a last choice, an easy A, or at 8:30am. Read: you don’t care about it at all. It’s not important – it just has to be taken, so you’ll suffer through it to get it over with. While the whole class is well aware of the facts, the professor clings on to the hope that everyone cares about the topic/is bitter that his class is a mockery and, as a result, assigns a way-too-large course load. Two term papers, three exams and 300 pages of reading a week? Awesome, dude, awesome.

The Oblivious Professor
Um, sir? There is a clock above the door for a reason. If you think we are all so enraptured by your monotonous lecture that we too have lost track of time, you are wrong. When the clock ticks past that last minute no one hears anything else you say over the sounds of the obvious paper shuffling, bag packing and students talking in the hallway. Because their prof let them out on time.

The Technologically Challenged Professor
We have all had the “How do I instant message your cell phone?” convo with our parents (“it’s called a text mom, duh!”), and it’s annoying. But we shouldn’t have to walk our professors through the joys of email. If you’re in an academic setting, you really need to wake up and join the 21st century! The fact that these professors cannot upload any readings onto the computer is seriously hurting our bank accounts and having to print out a hard copy of every homework assignment and essay is killing mucho trees. And, hello, an email explaining that class is canceled would be nice before we get to the lecture hall and find a T.A. scribbling the announcement on the board!

Oh, and if we can’t have our cellphones out during class, maybe you could learn to turn off your ringer so we don’t have to be interrupted by Michael Bolton mid-lecture.

20 Comments on "These 5 College Profs Put The “F” in Professor"

  1. Casey says:
    Thu, 1st Oct 200910:25 am 

    I only had "the oblivious professor" in grade school, (thank god!) but what really irked me about this one is that they KNEW they were "oblivious" to the time. At the beginning of the year they would always say "the bell does not dismiss you. I do" and if anyone was caught packing up before she (it was always a she) dismissed us, we got to stay longer for the disruption. Do these teachers not realize that we only got a certain amount of time to get out of one class, to our lockers, and all the way across the school to our next one? Not to mention my high school was waaaay overpopulated, we had about 1500 kids over the maximum limit. You literally didn't even have to walk through the halls, you just stepped into the crowd and it sorta picked you up and carried you along. That certainly didn't help when your teacher STOLE 3 of your 5 minutes.

  2. Sara says:
    Thu, 1st Oct 200911:39 am 

    I sadly have the "Author Professor" this term. He's terrible, he wrote our textbook so he expects us to read it all and know all of his theories. Also for his tests we literally have to write word for word his definitions, any summary or not using his exact words get deductions. Insane.

  3. Katie says:
    Thu, 1st Oct 200911:43 am 

    i found out about ratemyprofessor.com this semester, and it would have been a huge help LAST semester. I had two douche bag professor, one resulting in having to take the class over, because of his ridiculous grading style. Any way that site really helps.

    You forgot those dang monotoned professors, can't stand them, show some passion man!

  4. R says:
    Thu, 1st Oct 200912:09 pm 

    I've had all of these but for me the Author Professor was actually really cool. It was a required American Lit course for non-English majors and he was aware of that so he made us a read a lot (we had daily reading quizzes) but only made us write one paper (plus a midterm and final). The class revolved around the seemingly random topic of Western Literature and he often made connections to Southern literature. Well we come to find out at the end of the semester (after a google-search-gone-wrong) that he's written like eight books and four of them were all about comparing Southern lit to Western lit! Not once did he mention this to us and the whole semester he really listened to our ideas about the similarities and what we thought about everything we read and never told anyone they were wrong. Best. Professor. Ever.

  5. K says:
    Fri, 2nd Oct 20099:12 am 

    Oblivious professor applies to one of my professors in college but it wasn't only because he was oblivious to the time. He typically came in late and/or ended up making us stay an extra 10 minutes which if you left because you happened to have to walk across campus to your next class which started 15 minutes after the previous class ended…

    He was also oblivious to the courses he was supposedly teaching. English literature and an examination of morality of the literature? No. The description of the class lied. The professor even changed his grading policy twice so that he could give people lower marks. He used an obscure philosopher as the basis of morality comparison except that it truthfully there was no real comparison to make since it was mostly about how the philosopher came to terms with the holocaust. Not sure that Sleepy Hollow was the best choice of reading for this.

    If you chose to use an alternate analysis of morality like one ill fated philosophy major did, you could kiss the thought of passing the class goodbye, even though there was nothing to indicate that we had to use the one philosopher aside from the red marks on your paper after the fact.

    Apparently, his 20th century poetry class, which had absolutely nothing to do with morality, had the same problem. If they did an assignment without using the philosopher as a comparison, same result. Too bad I burned anything I might have learned from that class from my mind.

  6. nassrine says:
    Fri, 2nd Oct 20095:47 pm 

    ughh god! ive had every single one of those profs so far, and this year i have the worst prof: he isnt just one of these but all in one. i know im not supposed too, but ive skipped a few of his classes. 2 hours of listening to his monotone voice discuss the books he has written (which do NOT relate to the subject of the lecture were SUPPOSED to be taking) well into the 10 mins we need to get to our next class. he also looks down on us as if were stupid.. which were clearly not otherwise we wouldnt have been able to make it to his class.

    bitter. check. author. check. delusional. check. oblivious. check. technologically challenged. check. this year is gonna go by soooo slow :(

  7. m says:
    Sun, 4th Oct 200910:02 pm 

    I'm doing my student teaching right now so I can see this from both perspectives. However I hate it when students pack up early, it is really rude; even in college I hated it when other students started packing up while the professor was still talking.

    I think that professors shouldn't be allowed to require their own books. It seems like to much of a conflict of interest and it would be really hard to keep your grading unbiased. As a compromise they could have excerpts. You don't want your students (especially at the college level) just regurgitating your own thoughts and ideas back at you; waste of time for everyone.

  8. Carah Y Watkins says:
    Tue, 6th Oct 20095:09 am 

    I saddly have two tech challenged professors this term, one can never make windows media player work to play us clip, we dont e-mail anything we print it all! and the other still uses an over head! So no slides online, and even at trying to take notes he takes the slides off WAY too fast, I freaking type my notes on a netbook and its too fast!

    I also have a Micro Computer App teacher that used freaking windows 1.2 and tells us things we dont want to know doesnt tell us what we need to know. And said he read us almost the entire midterm and let us take notes, except i know the answers to the questions he read to us and then nmade a 64 on the test. Yeah someone lied about the freaking test!

  9. mollination says:
    Sat, 17th Oct 200910:02 am 

    You know the one that really kills me? The Professor That Never Got Laid in College So He Hates Anyone Who Appears Well Adjusted.

    Okay, I'm not even saying I'm pretty – I'm just saying I look like your typical "that girl". Blonde hair, makeup, Forever 21 clothes, big sunglasses, thin. I really need to change my look, because this description doesn't fit with my personality. There shouldn't even be a personality that any one particular look makes you think of, but unfortunately – we have come to associate this look with : snotty, popular, slutty, conceited, airheaded, etc. And I'm aware of this. It sucks though, because I don't look good as any other hair-color. I digress, sorry.

    What I hate is that almost every single one of my professors has disliked me right off the bat. And even when I contribute something intellectually stimulating, their perceptions of me distort the way I come off. I have resorted to wearing sweatshirts, ponytails, and fake glasses to school now.

    Someone else must have this – the prof that immediately assuemes they know who you are and dislikes you based on your looks.

  10. Patricia says:
    Tue, 20th Oct 20093:59 pm 

    Most of my professors are awesome. I don't mind the workload because I would rather deal with that then a bad attitude.

    They instead should have the professor that "Shouldn't-Have-Been-A-Teacher-Because-He-Is-Not-So-Smart". I am not saying just academically but mentally. I do not know how many times, he would put a problem on the board and the students would have to tell him that his output or answer is completely wrong. Of course, this would resort to some yelling, him thinking he is smarter because he is a professor, and then him realizing finally that his answer was wrong. The rest of that class would be total hell because he would have this vendetta against all the students and would refuse to answer questions or slur all his words together to make class more frustrating.

    What also doesn't help is his fucking office hours. He won't stay beyond them and refuses to stay beyond that even if it means the student needs help. High school teachers don't even mind staying behind to help students. And they don't even get paid for that. So, what the hell? I have never had a problem when I needed extra help or a quick question with other professors, but this guy is ridiculous.

  11. joe says:
    Mon, 26th Oct 20094:32 am 

    I am an accounting student, and I the "bitter" proffessor for auditing. Oh god, the class is horrible, the book is written by intellectual legal scholars – not accountants. Very boring, very awful class. Sadly, the class is required for the degree, and the prof I have is the only one who has taught the class for the last 30+ years. (Did I mention the prof is almost 80 years old!) Very mean, crotchety old bastard.

    Not to mention the fact that the subject is extremely complex, and he assigns about 60+ hours of homework PER WEEK! (this is on top of the reading assignemnts, and class time!) Our first midterm is Tues and it consists of over 400 pages of the textbook, and 200 pages of single-spaced essay-question homework problems! No study guide, no nothing! Somebody asked him for a study guide for the test, and his reply was, "yeah, sure, you want a study guide? Study chaps 1-10. There. How's that?"

    This guy has over 80 "bad" reviews" on ratemyproffessor and everyone HATES his class. He loves to give "pop" quizzes, and "surprise essay" assignments. And, if he even "thinks" you aren't studying or doing the homework, he will give you an essay to write (due the next class meeeting), and he will count it as 10% of your semester grade!

    I REALLY hate that class! The prof is a crotchety old "bitter" SOB, and I, like everyone else in the class, must suffer tremendously until it's finally F**cken over.

  12. Lone says:
    Fri, 13th Nov 20099:32 pm 

    One professor that is missing is the 'jack of all trades', the one that some how ended up, by way of shortages or school policy, teaching multiple classes on different topics (not basics either) that they are not specialized in. Ahh, that was money well spent :|

    Ive had a three part author, one part delusional professor in the past. What is worse is that that he taught several technical classes using his book even after the material was obsolete.

  13. Casey says:
    Sat, 14th Nov 20096:25 am 

    Lone, Ugh I totally know the one you're talking about. I had him/her twice in high school. The first one, I FINALLY found a math teacher who explained everything so I understood it from the first explanation and for once in my life I had an A in a math class (I SUCK at math!) and then my school decided my class was too full and switched me to a new class they were just opening up (this was 5 weeks into the first quarter of the year) they had taken one of the 9th grade history teachers and brought her in to teach Algebra 2 to seniors. Needless to say I ended the year with a C in that class (although I did get an A my final quarter). Then that same year I took Marine Bio and had this kick ass class that had tons of crazy sea animals in tanks all over the room and we got super cool assignments and field trips, and I was actually learning some interesting stuff when they decided that class was too crowded and they brought in a special ed teacher to teach Marine Bio, So I got switched out of the awesome class to this dinky little room that barely fit ten people, had no decorations/ sea animals anywhere and we didn't get any cool assignments, we didn't get to go on any field trips, and I didn't learn a single thing because the teacher didn't know anything about the subject. The entire class consisted of taking shitty notes that the teacher would read to us from stuff he printed offline and then having a test on it, we didn't even have a book. And what sucked even more was that class was the difference between me getting a full ride in college or just 75%, and since I reported the teacher for sexual harassment I only got 75%.

  14. Denise Richards says:
    Mon, 2nd May 20115:18 pm 

    I have a graphics design teacher that is extremely bitter. So she appeases her anger by humiliating, & holding back students in the class. She is so demeaning toward me and a handful of other students in the class that it makes it really hard for me to concentrate. I can't create my assignments with the ease that I complete them in other classes bc I hate her, her class, and I don't even want to participate. When I've spoken in class she is just down right rude to me. Unfortunately part of the grade is based upon the input that you've provided during discussions, but I'm afraid to speak up bc she will just cut me down for it.

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    Sun, 12th Feb 20121:28 am 

    Christ agthlimy! When it’s September 5th in Bozeman, it’s December 1st in Kazakhstan! What YEAR is it over there?

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