Comments on: I’m Torn: Friends With Benefits

By: ted

ted — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 17:51:51 +0000

im seeing a lot of complaints about FWB. yes you like the guy, but ladies understand he isnt going to commit! why? there are a lot of things us men look for in a woman other then nice tits slim waist line and a round butt. don't think that just because you have sex with a guy he is going to commit (especially if he is your X, he already tried to commit but it didn't work out).

If your trying to turn a FWB into a LTR [Long-Term Relationship] then your wasting your time, and instead should be out looking to meet a guy who is looking for that as well.

you girls are smart. im sure you meet that guy soon enough. but in the mean time, just enjoy the moment you share with your friend. dont think about the future with him, you need to let go of the past or the future that hasnt even happened yet and think "in the moment".

By: Tuffy Luv Hates The Power Struggle : College Candy

Tuffy Luv Hates The Power Struggle : College Candy — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 18:01:09 +0000

[...] was stupid. I know I was stupid. I slept with the guy I’ve liked for a couple months in a casual hook-up sort of way. It may have happened more than once. I was sober (so was he). Yeah… not sure why I thought [...]

By: yeah

yeah — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 14:35:00 +0000

I am in the middle of this scenario right now and am really curious as to how it will play out. I have a group of friends, one of which is my FWB. We go out, we flirt and we always end up sleeping together once or twice a week. This has been going on for about 9 months now and I am starting to develop feelings for him… I get jealous when he talks about other girls or flirts with other girls, and I think he gets jealous when guys hit on me. I told him a few months ago (when we were a "little" tipsy) that I wanted to date him but he said he didn't want a gf. After that we slowed down a little but now it is progressing again more than it has during the whole 9 months. I know he doesn't want to date, but he also does things to keep me "his" ex: tells me I look cute, flirts, watches if i'm talking to another guy. I don't know what to do. In my opinion if you are in this situation the best thing to try (which is what I am vowing myself to start doing starting today) is:

1. Keep hanging out with him in your group but stop all sex. Don't let yourself get in the position to have sex with him. Leave early if you have to or make an excuse.

2. Next time he tries to have sex, tell him the truth, that you have started developing feelings and have started getting emotionally connected. See what he says, he might need some time to think but whatever you do, respect yourself and DO NOT let him have you again. After some time passes I think he will realize if he has feelings for you more than just the sexual connection.

This is my plan and I'm sticking to it. I hope it works and don't end up getting hurt but there are plenty of fish in the sea.

By: Rohr

Rohr — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 01:07:31 +0000

Well here's the thing. Yeah, FWB usually starts out with the best intentions, that is, just casual hook up sex with no strings attached.

Problem is, sex does change your FWB situation, and it changes constantly, over time. What you agreed to in the beginning may not be true 3 or 6 months later. Sooner or later, one of you will want more.

In some rare cases, FWB works well, but I'd wager that 95% of the time, someone ends up getting hurt emotionally.

By: on the rebound

on the rebound — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 17:00:15 +0000

Speaking as a girl who just got out a a serious relationship and is not interested in the whole dating scene right now, FWB is perfect. I want to have fun. and WHY NOT? I found a cute guy friend that I've known since we were kids. We liked each other back then but now our lives are both really busy to purse a relationship with anyone. so i think as long as we are clear that this is a temporary solution, starting FWB wont turn into a permanent problem. In response to hater from siloam springs, my definition of FWB is a label for rebound relationships; if both people see it for what it is no one gets used.

By: heather

heather — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 20:48:42 +0000

i have been in this situation the guy would call me over at three am to hunk his horn we were together for four monts and we engaged in activietes he told me he liked me and he wanted to be my boyfreind but he said he had no time and it wouldnt be fair no he has a girl friend and im left in the cole wait ago for me i feel so happy not

By: Claire

Claire — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 22:52:58 +0000

I know that I'm probably the only person who this has happened to, but I was fwb with a guy for a year and a half… we started out just being casual acquaintances and eventually progressed to being one of eachother's best friends at school. A few weeks ago we decided that we actually really liked each other and started officially dating, and everything's working out perfectly. I know that it's highly unrealistic and usually NEVER happens, but thought that I would just let you guys know that it can and does happen!

By: Hulk

Hulk — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 08:47:09 +0000

it ain't easy being single and horny. there are two women i'd like to date at work. one i got emotionally attached to moved away and i was an emotional wreck for a year. i NEVER want to go through that again. fantasy versus fact. it is nice to fantasize about it, but fact is one of the two can be very hurt. if you're willing to take the risk then do it. i'd like to think if you're friends before, then if you're mature enough just recognize it to be a temporary thing (in case one finds another to have a relationship with), then you can be friends afterwards. peoples' emotions do get involved. and i know two women at work who hooked up with the same guy at work and now they don't speak to each other. awkward.

By: C

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 02:30:02 +0000

actually not all FWB situations turn sour… my and my boyfriend of two years started out as "friends with benefits." it was great because we were comfortable trying new things together, and became incredibly close even before we started dating

By: Daniel

Daniel — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 03:50:19 +0000

I've NEVER seen FWB situation work, either in my life or any of my friends, or my friend's friends. I'm not saying don't do it, you're an adult, you are single and having fun, etc. BUT don't expect the FWB thing do work. Some one always (or both) gets too attached, hurt, etc. Too much drama, and in the end isn't that what you were trying to avoid? Let's face it, let's be honest, relations with men and women are best when in a mono-mono situation.