The Weekly Ten: Sexploited!

Every week I emulate my favorite late night talk show host, David Letterman, and countdown from ten. And then, last week, my favorite late night talk show host shared with us his story of being blackmailed for fooling around with some of his staff.

By Melanie

Whether you think his announcement was noble or unnecessary, whether you care where Letterman puts it or not, the scandal brought me to this week’s topic: the top ten people you should avoid sleeping with unless you want to suffer some serious aftermath. Maybe not a mistake that warrants a $2 million extortion, mind you, but still pretty scandalous repercussions.

10. The Bartender and/or Bouncer
Especially not at your favorite bar or club. One mistake with a bouncer equals embarrassment strong enough to keep you out of the doors of your favorite sports bar forever.

9. A neighbor in your dorm
Do you really want to worry about running into your fling when you’re in the dorm hallways wearing Powerpuff girl pajama bottoms?

8. “That Guy”
Collar popped underneath his Ed Hardy shirt with a sideways hat and a Lance Armstrong bracelet. Spare your dignity.

7. Ray-J
Unless you want a sex tape on the internet. Although it did kick-start Kim Kardashian’s career, so I guess this isn’t such a bad idea if that’s the direction you want to take your life.

6. Your BFF’s boyfriend
You’ll definitely lose a bestie and have other friends questioning your loyalty. Not cool.

5. Co-Worker
Particularly a boss. As hot as it would be, it violates some serious company policies <cough Letterman cough> and could also jeopardize your future with the company. Leave that one in your fantasies.

4. That foxy professor
He has kids. Stay away. Do not fantasize about showing up to his office hours in lingerie or your old Catholic schoolgirl uniform. Just. stay. away.

3. The R.A.
Enough said.

2. The cabbie giving you a ride home from the bar at 4 AM
I’m not even going to comment further.

1. Your roommate
Living with guys totally rules. Sleeping with them is a guarantee to screw up a great living situation and force you onto the streets or, worse, back into the dorms.