Ask A Dude: Am I a Bitch?

By The Dude

Got a guy question that’s tearing you up inside? Don’t trust your girl friends to give you honest advice (because they’re afraid if they tell you the truth you will freak out and throw things at them)? Just want to try and understand what a guy is thinking?

We’ve got the dude for you. Send your questions to AskTheDude@CollegeCandy.com and he’ll give it to you straight, whether you want to hear that you’re just a Friend With Benefits or not. Because you can’t throw things at him, no matter what he tells you.

Hey Dude,

OK so this may seem really lame but for some reason guys NEVER sit near me in class. I feel like I’m giving off a bad impression but I really don’t understand. Me and my friends have been analyzing the situation (mostly just cracking jokes about how I look like a big reject) and we can’t figure it out. Not to sound cocky but I’m hot…I have a great rack, long pretty hair, and shower regularly (in case you’re thinking smell is a factor). I just don’t understand it. Do I give off some sort of bitch mannerisms? Is there any way to make me look more approachable when sitting in class? Sorry if this is a really lame question.

–Loser bitch who sits alone in class all the time

Dear (Not a) Loser (and not a) bitch,

Frequent bathing and consistent hygiene habits aside, there are typically two reasons that guys won’t sit near you in class: A) they are intimidated, or B) they are annoyed. Although your admirable rack size and general follicular health imply that perhaps your classmates are truly thrown by your hotness level, it is also highly possible that you’re subconsciously sending out bitch sonar. Unfortunately, pretty girls and bitchy girls are often confused as one in the same, so whether or not you’re actually displaying arrogant mannerisms may not even be a basis for the widespread avoidance.

Never-the-less, a bad reputation generally works like a “Stage 5 Clinger”: it won’t let go, it’s impossible to ignore, and it’s easy to spread around. Whether it’s true or not, the dudes in your class may have gotten wind of any manner of previous bad habits (a prior tendency to sleep around, a high maintenance personality, the tendency to talk too much, and so on), and labeled you as such. When push comes to shove, men have a lot of secret thoughts (we wish we were MacGyver and could fix anything with chewing gum and a piece of string; we secretly relate to various characters from Star Wars, and we pick our Fantasy Football draft more carefully than the President), but once our mind is made up, it can be very hard to change.

The easiest thing that you can do to stop feeling lame (and be more approachable), is to do just that… be more approachable. Make sure you relax. Smile at strangers. Be open to conversations. And due to the fact that your male counterparts’ minds may already be made up about you, you might have to jump into conversations at first to prove a point. After awhile (and after repeated laid-back interactions in class), the men will get the idea that your “ice queen” persona is melting, and hopefully, the current leprosy effect will cease.

And when in doubt, an extra bath or two can’t hurt.

— The Dude