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Halloween Costumes On The Cheap

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Doesn't get much cheaper than a ghost. Just cut out a hole for easy drinking.

In these hard economic times, I simply cannot justify buying a $115 mermaid costume, no matter how magical I would look come Halloween night. Especially when I have a plethora of items lying around my house, that when properly utilized can be the ultimate Halloween costume.  Here are some cheap and easy homemade costumes that will come in handy during my time of monetary despair.

Static Cling – I can’t count the number of times I’ve walked out of the house with a sock attached to my back. Static cling is the worst, but it’s also the best costume idea when you’re out of ideas and money. Wear an all-white or black outfit and pin socks and other loose articles of clothing to yourself. No muss, no fuss, you’re static cling and you like it.

Be a Real Housewife: The women of Bravo’s hit series “The Real Housewives of ….” have become icons, for better or worse. You may love to hate them, but you’re also going to love dressing up as them. It’s as easy as throwing on a sassy dress and decking yourself out in some serious bling. Top it off with over-sized sunglasses and a super-stuffed bra and you can have your pick of housewife.

Beer Pong: Just grab a red garbage can, cut out the bottom, slap the SOLO label on the side and you’re everyone’s favorite drinking cup. Grab 9 friends and you’ve got yourself a mobile drinking game.

“Cereal Killer” – You can predict that there will be a great deal of Jason’s and Freddy’s running around this Halloween, but put the comedy into serial killers with this original idea. Hot glue miniature cereal boxes to your shirt and stab them with plastic knives. Add some fake blood running from the boxes for the extra effect.

Kate Gosselin – If you can dig up eight baby dolls and somehow fashion your hair into the spiky coif Kate is famous for, you’ll be set to hit the party scene in the hopes of finding a new and improved Jon to help you tend to your Cabbage Patch dolls.

Swine Flu – Sure it’s a health risk, but you have to admit it’s a little comical. Get yourself a pig snout and a hazmat mask and you’re ready to go. People may avoid you, but that’s the price you pay for a kick-ass and cheap Halloween costume.

Samantha Ronson – Skinny jeans, an big 80’s tshirt, a dude wig and some oversized earphones will do the trick. And if you’ve got a super skinny friend who doesn’t mind sporting leggings and showing off some side boob, you’ve got your Lindsay Lohan.

Serena or Venus Williams – Get thee to Target for a cheap tennis skirt, stuff that badunk and grunt your way from party to party.

Were you a cheerleader in high school? Dress up as Claire from Heroes. Or throw on a tie-dyed shirt and some faded jeans and you’ll look like you’ve walked straight out of Woodstock. If you prefer a more pop culture-oriented costume this year, feather your hair, don a 70s-inspired outfit and channel the late, great Farrah Faucet. You can hang out with all the Michael Jackson and Patrick Swayze look-a-likes all night.

There’s a million different costumes ideas out there that don’t have you spending your last nickel and dime to pay for them. All it takes is a little creativity. Besides, there’s probably going to be 13 other mermaids at the party anyway. At least as Kate Gosselin, my hair will stand out in a crowd.

  • My heart follows Aaron Carter's jazz flute voice and leaps like a platypus at the whisper of his name.