Authentic Ways to Celebrate Columbus Day

October 12, 2009     Posted in HaHa

columbus.jpgHey! Today is a holiday! And it must be a pretty big one since every furniture/electronics store in my state is having a huge sale! I am not sure why Christopher Columbus would warrant 50% off on all bedroom sets (especially considering the controversy that surrounds him), but I am sure he’s really honored by it all.


By Lauren

Anyways, since today is a holiday and you are most likely not in the classroom, you should be out celebrating. But how does one celebrate the day of Christopher Columbus (besides with a killer sale on Plasma TVs)? Here are a few ideas:

1. Go Exploring! Walk around campus and look for new things you’ve never found before. Maybe a new building, or a new corner in your favorite library. Then, go inside, kick everyone out who is already there and claim that building/room/patch of grass as your very own.

2. Make a Crazy Proposition: Find someone with a lot of money and tell them this crazy new idea that you have. Have them give you money to fund it. Pray that you, like Columbus, make some giant mistake while pulling this idea together that ends up being more lucrative than the original.

3. Cook some Italian Food: Then go sailing.

4. Load up on spices: When eating at the dining hall today, throw heaping amounts of never-before-tried spices on your meal.  Extra points if you wrestle those spices out of the cold, dead hands of someone who was using them first.

Or, if all of those ideas seem too adventurous for you, you could do what I do every year: sleep in, watch TV and get drunk in the afternoon.

Then go buy some really cheap furniture.

10 Comments on "Authentic Ways to Celebrate Columbus Day"

  1. Sarabeth - Universit says:
    Mon, 13th Oct 20086:07 am 

    stupid UT doesn't consider this a holiday.

    i have class :(

  2. Kari says:
    Mon, 13th Oct 20087:51 am 

    Hahaha. Garlic rolls + sailing sound like a plan to me

  3. snarktastic says:
    Mon, 13th Oct 20087:53 am 

    ooh, ooh i want to play!

    5. enslave somebody!

  4. Lisa says:
    Mon, 12th Oct 20097:44 am 

    Or…if you're in Canada…it's Thanksgiving! Eat turkey!

  5. Against says:
    Mon, 12th Oct 20094:22 pm 

    Columbus Day shouldn't be celebrated in any way at all. His landing in the Americas started an invasion of a land that was already flourishing with people. With his arrival and those that followed him came diseases that wiped out 90% of the indigenous population in some areas- not to mention the unfounded beliefs that white men were superior to the "savages" in the Americas. His legacy should be marked by his cruelty and ignorance.

  6. Paige says:
    Mon, 12th Oct 20094:52 pm 

    Why eat Italian food? Wasn't Columbus a Spaniard?

  7. Jenny says:
    Tue, 13th Oct 20095:13 am 

    Paige – Columbus was an Italian, but he was hired to sail by Spain.

    This article made me LOL. :)

  8. Amani says:
    Wed, 14th Mar 201211:57 pm 

    My mom stumbled upon your blog sheomow and told me I would appreciate it and how similar our boys sounded. I didn’t see you guys but the pictures are adorable! I love home-made costumes or semi-homemade ones. I applaud your dressing up, I haven’t done that myself yet. I am usually too busy applying my niece’s werewolf ears or zombie make-up or some such thing to get myself done up.We walked down from our block (high 80s) to 76th street and marched from there (well Brendan rode in the carriage under his big clear jellyfish umbrella). Last year I made the boys Luke Skywalker and Han Solo (handmade) because it fit their personalities (eager/endearing and serious/surly) and coloring (James is blonde/blue, Brendan is brown/hazel). This year I had some ideas in mind but threw together the umbrella based costumes that morning because of the iffy weather.

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