Authentic Ways to Celebrate Columbus Day

Hey! Today is a holiday! And it must be a pretty big one since every furniture/electronics store in my state is having a huge sale! I am not sure why Christopher Columbus would warrant 50% off on all bedroom sets (especially considering the controversy that surrounds him), but I am sure he’s really honored by it all.

Anyways, since today is a holiday and you are most likely not in the classroom, you should be out celebrating. But how does one celebrate the day of Christopher Columbus (besides with a killer sale on Plasma TVs)? Here are a few ideas:

1. Go Exploring! Walk around campus and look for new things you’ve never found before. Maybe a new building, or a new corner in your favorite library. Then, go inside, kick everyone out who is already there and claim that building/room/patch of grass as your very own.

2. Make a Crazy Proposition: Find someone with a lot of money and tell them this crazy new idea that you have. Have them give you money to fund it. Pray that you, like Columbus, make some giant mistake while pulling this idea together that ends up being more lucrative than the original.

3. Cook some Italian Food: Then go sailing.

4. Load up on spices: When eating at the dining hall today, throw heaping amounts of never-before-tried spices on your meal.  Extra points if you wrestle those spices out of the cold, dead hands of someone who was using them first.

Or, if all of those ideas seem too adventurous for you, you could do what I do every year: sleep in, watch TV and get drunk in the afternoon.

Then go buy some really cheap furniture.