The Weekly Ten: Worst Halloween Costumes. Ever.

October 12, 2009 - 9:00 am By Melanie - Northeastern University
devil and angel

Real creative, ladies.

Every week I make a list of ten things. Whether it’s ten words/phrases that piss me off or my fave leading ladies, you can count on me to countdown every Monday the same way you can count on Jon Gosselin to be an epic Douche Bigalow.

In the spirit of the season and my favorite holiday of all time, I’ve decided to countdown the ten worst Halloween costumes imaginable.

As a dedicated Halloween goer-over-the-topper, my mother never once let me buy my costume. In fact, to this day, I can admit that I’ve only had one store-bought costume as of last year: Whoremione Granger. That’s it. And I still regret it to this day. Guilty of some of the below? Check out CollegeCandy’s better alternatives.

10. The slutty bumblebee
Firstly, horizontal stripes are a no-no, no matter how much of a stick you are. Secondly, a slutty bug? Really? Of all things? Thirdly, confession: bees are actually the scariest thing in the world to me, so frankly it just upsets me to see them in any form. Especially large, at risk for nipple slips and holding a beer.

9. Naughty School Girl
Admittedly, I am guilty of this one. Looking back, I’m ashamed that I just slapped on my old uniform and passed off what I used to wear daily as a “costume.” Apologies, Sister Pat.

8. “I’m Drunk”
You ask, “What are you supposed to be?” Usually a bro answers with this. Holding a red solo cup. Real creative.

7. Witch
Halloween staple. Cool. Zzzz.

6. Devil and Angel
Awww, you and your bestie wanted to do something coordinated. Cute. But, there are so many other more awesome things you could be. Examples: Brian and Stewie, Cartman and Kyle, even Khloe and Kourtney would be a step up from this cliche.

5. Fairy
Slapping on some cheap wings and glitter does not make an acceptable Halloween costume. You can do better, ladies.

4. The Joker
It’s just so 2008, or in the wise words of Fergie: 2000 and late.

3. Santa Ho
Wrong holiday. No one needs to be thinking about Christmas this early.

2. Athlete
You put on a jersey? Super impressed.

1. Sexy _____
Fill in the blank with any career. Sexy nurse. Sexy cop. Sexy firefighter. Sexy cabbie? Are you serious?! Excuse me while I barf candy corn.

What Halloween costumes would you do without?

32 Comments   Posted in Entertainment, HaHa, Halloween Central
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32 Comments on "The Weekly Ten: Worst Halloween Costumes. Ever."

  1. barb says:
    Mon, 12th Oct 20099:49 am 

    Agreed on all these, except I don’t think dressing up as a ‘reality celebrity’ really trumps anything. I don’t want to help promote someone who is already over-paid and over-appreciated! The problem now is coming up with a good costume :)

  2. Casey says:
    Mon, 12th Oct 20092:33 pm 

    Why can’t you be sexy for Halloween? The chances of anyone actually having a scary costume (which, isn’t that the point of Halloween?) are very slim, since we’re not Hollywood makeup artists and most people don’t have a huge budget for a Halloween costume. To me, other than the sexy Halloween costumes most others are just hokey, cheesy, and cheap looking. For a site and readers that promote sex and promiscuity on a daily basis I’m surprised at how many people are so against the sexy costumes.

    When I was little I loved Halloween cause it gave us a chance to dress up and be whatever, well now that I’m older I love Halloween cause it’s a chance to wear something super sexy and have my boyfriend fawn over me all night until we either leave the party or everyone leaves our party and then we can get it on in my sexy costume. And I’m sure everyone who wears them has basically the same motives. Hey, we all just wanna get laid.

    But I agree with the rest on the list, they’re all pretty overplayed.

  3. Vincci says:
    Tue, 13th Oct 20094:05 am 

    LOL that pretty much narrows the list down to going as yourself. I think cliche or sexy is fine as long as you have fun (because why else are you celebrating?) and don’t dress to get arrested for indecent exposure.

  4. Melanie - Northeastern University says:
    Tue, 13th Oct 20092:33 pm 

    You can be sexy without shelling out $50 for a polyster piece of crap costume. Make your own!

    Originality = sexy.

    Beats buying a “sexy” synthetic costume and showing up to the party as “one of the slutty police women by the keg.”

  5. Abroughman says:
    Tue, 13th Oct 20094:24 pm 

    thought this article was perfect. my roommates have been looking on halloween costume websites for a month…for hours a day its sickening. I love halloween but if i see one more girl in a slutty cop costume…hurl.

  6. Elizabeth Finfgeld says:
    Thu, 15th Oct 20092:31 pm 

    If you’re getting in a Halloween mood, I just found this DIY Halloween costume guide to be pretty helpful — http://bit.ly/3t1YBK a gazillion ideas to get the juices flowing.

  7. NewPaltzGal says:
    Tue, 20th Oct 20094:18 pm 

    lol, I’m so guilty of wearing a couple of these costumes. But hey, they were fun, cute and from the parties i showed up to, I didn’t see a million other girls dressed like me. As long as you’re comfortable, have a good time and don’t flash people because your costume is too skimpy then go for it. I still don’t know what i’m going to be and halloween is in a few day ;/

  8. ha says:
    Tue, 20th Oct 200911:49 pm 

    some ugly bitch must have wrote this to say dont dress sexy for halloween..she prob just dressed up as herself and people laugh at that

  9. Miss90 says:
    Thu, 22nd Oct 20098:52 am 

    Verify that all rules have been applied. ,

  10. pinoytutorial says:
    Thu, 22nd Oct 20096:15 pm 

    woh this one is sassy.. actually I have a few collection to share too!.. including a spiderman with his painted “toot” lol

    my most embarrassing Halloween costumes: http://pinoytutorial.com/bestandworst/most-embarrassing-halloween-costumes

    Is it a Trick or Treat?

  11. Al says:
    Fri, 23rd Oct 20097:33 pm 

    Melanie what are you going as? A nun. Halloween is about being slutty, or “sexy”, otherwise what would be the point? I agree, that you should avoid being cliche, but sexy?

    Wow, three questions in a row.

  12. Lindsey says:
    Fri, 23rd Oct 20098:03 pm 

    wtf? halloween isnt about being slutty or sexy… you don’t see guys running around in speedos and little chippendale bowties… halloween is supposed to be scary, not “Strippers Outside the Club” Day… lol… if the person or character you’d like to dress up as just happens to be slutty, fine, that’s your choice… but to pay $40 for the same unnecessarily skimpy outfit that every other sorority girl is wearing, now that’s just stupid

  13. RJ says:
    Mon, 26th Oct 20092:59 pm 

    How about the guy/girl who wears a suit with a name tag. I.E. Joe Biden. LAME

  14. poop says:
    Tue, 27th Oct 20093:14 am 

    I am so tired of seeing Pimps. Really? We get it, your cool, please be cool somewhere else.

  15. Melanie - Northeastern University says:
    Tue, 27th Oct 20098:04 pm 

    The last one is Sexy paired with a CAREER, not DON’T BE ANYTHING SEXY. I didn’t realize that this would cause so much confusion.

  16. Joshua says:
    Thu, 29th Oct 20097:04 pm 

    What? No horizontal stripes?

    lol, sorry but I’ve found that horizontal stripes are very curve enhancing for just about any girl who isn’t heavy.

    What’s with the anti-sexy sexy attitude? Yeah, I’m sick of the cop girls though. I haven’t seen a Bumble-bee in a while.

    The ones i think are done too much is the Jack Sparrow, or any Pirate for that matter…

  17. petee says:
    Sun, 1st Nov 20092:37 pm 

    well, if you forgot to wear that “freaky” halloween costume of yours then fret no more.. we have something to perk you up. This Nov1 and Nov2 :D

    Horror movies (the most scariest of ‘em all): http://bit.ly/Scariest-horror-movie-of-all-time-hell-yeah

    With a horror film like that? who needs to wear anything.. ayt?

    :grinn

  18. JosiahSilas says:
    Thu, 5th Nov 200911:26 am 

    Sorry, but the highest-grossing movie of the decade can’t be dismissed as “so last year”.

    That’s like telling someone they can’t dress up as Darth Vader. Some characters are so iconic they don’t go out of style.

    However, a Sexy Darth Vader? You might want to reconsider.
    http://www.galacticbinder.com/images/Blog/darth-vader-babe-sexy-corset.jpg

  19. Jim says:
    Wed, 11th Nov 20091:57 am 

    there is a difference between sexy and slutty, 99% of the people that think they are dressed “sexy” are in reality, dressed slutty, looking like whores.. I’m all for sexy, just leave SOMETHING up to the imagination!

  20. eli says:
    Sun, 15th Nov 20094:34 am 

    I don’t see what’s wrong with those costumes, ultimately it’s about having fun and buying/making whatever you can within your budget.

  21. Dave says:
    Sun, 15th Nov 20097:08 am 

    This article proves why girls should not be allowed on the internet.

  22. h says:
    Mon, 23rd Nov 200911:26 am 

    Seems to me that the writer herself is a overweight largeass, pissed because hot girls take all the men.

  23. Kelli says:
    Fri, 4th Dec 20091:13 pm 

    No offense but I think you are to critical its f***
    halloween.
    There should be no judging on costumes people can be what they want.. Its people like you that make this world so judgemental.
    and just wondering whats your ideal costume a sheet to be a ghost is that good enough for you.

    I hate people like you.

  24. Jon says:
    Fri, 4th Dec 20092:57 pm 

    Ah Halloween…the most wonderful time of the year. Screw you, Christmas.
    Hey Melanie, how about this: Let the hot women dress however they want to dress for Halloween. They’re hot and they want to show it off, so more power to them. Once trick-or-treating becomes too juvenile, Halloween is about going to parties and having fun.
    By the way, what is better for female empowerment than being able to make any man do whatever she wants because of a sexy outfit? It just shows that the women have the power. And I’m glad they do.

  25. Jessica says:
    Mon, 7th Dec 20096:03 am 

    Girls can do what they want, and people are going to be the generic things, but whatever. The only problem i see with girls dressing stupid like that is when they go out they either get 1. cold (duh..its practically november) 2. Their feet hurt cuz of the cheap costume 6 inch heels they cant handle. or 3. They get upset when people look at them, and that just makes me think..really? your wearing a bra and booty shorts, you dont think someones going to look? then why the fuck are you wearing it?!

  26. joey says:
    Mon, 7th Dec 20098:37 am 

    whoever wrote this article is probably a chubby, undesirable, sweaty book worm who probably studies nonstop, received attention from maybe 2 guys in their entire life and is bitter from all the attention their hot friends/sister gets. and to even spew something as incoherent as “or in the wise words of fergie” makes me want to pound nails through my balls. i pray for your death.

  27. Kayla says:
    Mon, 7th Dec 20098:58 pm 

    well some of those costumes on little todlers are cute like witch or fairy, and bumblebee if its not slutty. but yeah not original costumes are just lame. I went as a bubblehead nurse from silent hill this past halloween it was AWESOME! :D

  28. party perv says:
    Fri, 8th Jan 20101:30 pm 

    of course some stupid cunt from northeastern would write an article like this. her vagina is probably filled with concrete.

  29. Jess says:
    Sat, 9th Jan 20107:11 am 

    You just don’t like halloween do you?

  30. Allaiyah says:
    Fri, 29th Jan 20105:42 pm 

    Actually, the slutty bumblebee is a personal favorite, at least on the lingerie models. Real women don’t pull it off so well. Same for the rest of the sexy costumes; if you don’t have implants & aren;t anhorexic, it just doesn’t look right. & this is comming from a fellow woman.

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