The Weekly Ten: Worst Halloween Costumes. Ever.


devil and angel

Real creative, ladies.


Every week I make a list of ten things. Whether it’s ten words/phrases that piss me off or my fave leading ladies, you can count on me to countdown every Monday the same way you can count on Jon Gosselin to be an epic Douche Bigalow.

In the spirit of the season and my favorite holiday of all time, I’ve decided to countdown the ten worst Halloween costumes imaginable.

As a dedicated Halloween goer-over-the-topper, my mother never once let me buy my costume. In fact, to this day, I can admit that I’ve only had one store-bought costume as of last year: Whoremione Granger. That’s it. And I still regret it to this day. Guilty of some of the below? Check out CollegeCandy’s better alternatives.

10. The slutty bumblebee
Firstly, horizontal stripes are a no-no, no matter how much of a stick you are. Secondly, a slutty bug? Really? Of all things? Thirdly, confession: bees are actually the scariest thing in the world to me, so frankly it just upsets me to see them in any form. Especially large, at risk for nipple slips and holding a beer.

9. Naughty School Girl
Admittedly, I am guilty of this one. Looking back, I’m ashamed that I just slapped on my old uniform and passed off what I used to wear daily as a “costume.” Apologies, Sister Pat.

8. “I’m Drunk”
You ask, “What are you supposed to be?” Usually a bro answers with this. Holding a red solo cup. Real creative.

7. Witch
Halloween staple. Cool. Zzzz.

6. Devil and Angel
Awww, you and your bestie wanted to do something coordinated. Cute. But, there are so many other more awesome things you could be. Examples: Brian and Stewie, Cartman and Kyle, even Khloe and Kourtney would be a step up from this cliche.

5. Fairy
Slapping on some cheap wings and glitter does not make an acceptable Halloween costume. You can do better, ladies.

4. The Joker
It’s just so 2008, or in the wise words of Fergie: 2000 and late.

3. Santa Ho
Wrong holiday. No one needs to be thinking about Christmas this early.

2. Athlete
You put on a jersey? Super impressed.

1. Sexy _____
Fill in the blank with any career. Sexy nurse. Sexy cop. Sexy firefighter. Sexy cabbie? Sexy Elmo?? Are you serious?! Excuse me while I barf candy corn.

What Halloween costumes would you do without?



  1. barb says:

    Agreed on all these, except I don't think dressing up as a 'reality celebrity' really trumps anything. I don't want to help promote someone who is already over-paid and over-appreciated! The problem now is coming up with a good costume :)

  2. Casey says:

    Why can't you be sexy for Halloween? The chances of anyone actually having a scary costume (which, isn't that the point of Halloween?) are very slim, since we're not Hollywood makeup artists and most people don't have a huge budget for a Halloween costume. To me, other than the sexy Halloween costumes most others are just hokey, cheesy, and cheap looking. For a site and readers that promote sex and promiscuity on a daily basis I'm surprised at how many people are so against the sexy costumes.

    When I was little I loved Halloween cause it gave us a chance to dress up and be whatever, well now that I'm older I love Halloween cause it's a chance to wear something super sexy and have my boyfriend fawn over me all night until we either leave the party or everyone leaves our party and then we can get it on in my sexy costume. And I'm sure everyone who wears them has basically the same motives. Hey, we all just wanna get laid.

    But I agree with the rest on the list, they're all pretty overplayed.

  3. Vincci says:

    LOL that pretty much narrows the list down to going as yourself. I think cliche or sexy is fine as long as you have fun (because why else are you celebrating?) and don't dress to get arrested for indecent exposure.

  4. You can be sexy without shelling out $50 for a polyster piece of crap costume. Make your own!

    Originality = sexy.

    Beats buying a "sexy" synthetic costume and showing up to the party as "one of the slutty police women by the keg."

  5. Abroughman says:

    thought this article was perfect. my roommates have been looking on halloween costume websites for a month…for hours a day its sickening. I love halloween but if i see one more girl in a slutty cop costume…hurl.

  6. Elizabeth Finfgeld says:

    If you're getting in a Halloween mood, I just found this DIY Halloween costume guide to be pretty helpful — a gazillion ideas to get the juices flowing.

  7. […] 10, I find myself counting down things that piss me off. You know, like phrases that suck and uninspired Halloween costumes. So I’ve decided to give you a mix tape for putting up with me airing my grievances […]

  8. NewPaltzGal says:

    lol, I'm so guilty of wearing a couple of these costumes. But hey, they were fun, cute and from the parties i showed up to, I didn't see a million other girls dressed like me. As long as you're comfortable, have a good time and don't flash people because your costume is too skimpy then go for it. I still don't know what i'm going to be and halloween is in a few day ;/

  9. […] The 10 worst Halloween costumes ever – CollegeCandy […]

  10. ha says:

    some ugly bitch must have wrote this to say dont dress sexy for halloween..she prob just dressed up as herself and people laugh at that

  11. Miss90 says:

    Verify that all rules have been applied. ,

  12. pinoytutorial says:

    woh this one is sassy.. actually I have a few collection to share too!.. including a spiderman with his painted "toot" lol

    my most embarrassing Halloween costumes:

    Is it a Trick or Treat?

  13. Al says:

    Melanie what are you going as? A nun. Halloween is about being slutty, or "sexy", otherwise what would be the point? I agree, that you should avoid being cliche, but sexy?

    Wow, three questions in a row.

  14. Lindsey says:

    wtf? halloween isnt about being slutty or sexy… you don't see guys running around in speedos and little chippendale bowties… halloween is supposed to be scary, not "Strippers Outside the Club" Day… lol… if the person or character you'd like to dress up as just happens to be slutty, fine, that's your choice… but to pay $40 for the same unnecessarily skimpy outfit that every other sorority girl is wearing, now that's just stupid

  15. RJ says:

    How about the guy/girl who wears a suit with a name tag. I.E. Joe Biden. LAME

  16. poop says:

    I am so tired of seeing Pimps. Really? We get it, your cool, please be cool somewhere else.

  17. The last one is Sexy paired with a CAREER, not DON'T BE ANYTHING SEXY. I didn't realize that this would cause so much confusion.

  18. Joshua says:

    What? No horizontal stripes?

    lol, sorry but I've found that horizontal stripes are very curve enhancing for just about any girl who isn't heavy.

    What's with the anti-sexy sexy attitude? Yeah, I'm sick of the cop girls though. I haven't seen a Bumble-bee in a while.

    The ones i think are done too much is the Jack Sparrow, or any Pirate for that matter…

  19. petee says:

    well, if you forgot to wear that "freaky" halloween costume of yours then fret no more.. we have something to perk you up. This Nov1 and Nov2 :D

    Horror movies (the most scariest of 'em all):

    With a horror film like that? who needs to wear anything.. ayt?


  20. JosiahSilas says:

    Sorry, but the highest-grossing movie of the decade can't be dismissed as "so last year".

    That's like telling someone they can't dress up as Darth Vader. Some characters are so iconic they don't go out of style.

    However, a Sexy Darth Vader? You might want to reconsider.

  21. Jim says:

    there is a difference between sexy and slutty, 99% of the people that think they are dressed "sexy" are in reality, dressed slutty, looking like whores.. I'm all for sexy, just leave SOMETHING up to the imagination!

  22. eli says:

    I don't see what's wrong with those costumes, ultimately it's about having fun and buying/making whatever you can within your budget.

  23. Dave says:

    This article proves why girls should not be allowed on the internet.

  24. h says:

    Seems to me that the writer herself is a overweight largeass, pissed because hot girls take all the men.

  25. Kelli says:

    No offense but I think you are to critical its f***


    There should be no judging on costumes people can be what they want.. Its people like you that make this world so judgemental.

    and just wondering whats your ideal costume a sheet to be a ghost is that good enough for you.

    I hate people like you.

  26. Jon says:

    Ah Halloween…the most wonderful time of the year. Screw you, Christmas.

    Hey Melanie, how about this: Let the hot women dress however they want to dress for Halloween. They're hot and they want to show it off, so more power to them. Once trick-or-treating becomes too juvenile, Halloween is about going to parties and having fun.

    By the way, what is better for female empowerment than being able to make any man do whatever she wants because of a sexy outfit? It just shows that the women have the power. And I'm glad they do.

  27. Jessica says:

    Girls can do what they want, and people are going to be the generic things, but whatever. The only problem i see with girls dressing stupid like that is when they go out they either get 1. cold (duh..its practically november) 2. Their feet hurt cuz of the cheap costume 6 inch heels they cant handle. or 3. They get upset when people look at them, and that just makes me think..really? your wearing a bra and booty shorts, you dont think someones going to look? then why the fuck are you wearing it?!

  28. joey says:

    whoever wrote this article is probably a chubby, undesirable, sweaty book worm who probably studies nonstop, received attention from maybe 2 guys in their entire life and is bitter from all the attention their hot friends/sister gets. and to even spew something as incoherent as "or in the wise words of fergie" makes me want to pound nails through my balls. i pray for your death.

  29. Kayla says:

    well some of those costumes on little todlers are cute like witch or fairy, and bumblebee if its not slutty. but yeah not original costumes are just lame. I went as a bubblehead nurse from silent hill this past halloween it was AWESOME! :D

  30. party perv says:

    of course some stupid cunt from northeastern would write an article like this. her vagina is probably filled with concrete.

  31. Jess says:

    You just don't like halloween do you?

  32. Allaiyah says:

    Actually, the slutty bumblebee is a personal favorite, at least on the lingerie models. Real women don't pull it off so well. Same for the rest of the sexy costumes; if you don't have implants & aren;t anhorexic, it just doesn't look right. & this is comming from a fellow woman.

  33. BOy says:


    sexy outfits ARE COOL ugly girl;]

  34. Havar says:

    Well, I will certainly not invite Melanie to any party I'll ever have. It must be so boooring to not be able to share the fun we others find in this rather harmless tradition of dressing up. So many are not so creative when it comes to making outfits, but we should rather look at creativity and originality as bonus, rather than the norm. So bring on all those slutty cops costumes and whatever. Anything is better than to sit home and be grumpy.

  35. Rob says:

    Sexy two baby

  36. Bob says:

    Just putting the word "Sexy" in front of some occupation doesn't make it or you suddenly sexy. Just makes you look stupid. Try adding some other words to replace sexy. Like Deadbeat, or tryhard.

  37. jenny says:

    Ok, so i agree the 'sexy' thing can be overdone and cliche is boring, but honestly, hating them that much is a bit ridiculous, especially the bees thing. I think sharks are terrifying but I'm not writing list about how people shouldn't dress up as them.

    Let people dress how they want, it;s better to be imaginative and everything, but sometimes your restrained by time or money to fairy wings and glitter is all you can manage if your not prepared to craft your own costumes.

  38. Steve says:

    I think the best form of costume is creativity. Being something that likely no one else will be. Like combining vampire and nurse, to make a vampire nurse. A little sexy, and little scary.

  39. aeracura says:

    I believe you have a valid point, it was just conveyed poorley… plus their almost all female costumes, it really does make you sound bitter.

    I would have explained that some of those are poor choices because they are over used, unimaginative, and make chicks look well.. just like another pretty face that doesnt stand out in the crowd ( make it more about the conformity & boringness of blending.. less about sexiness, we all love sexiness) but a girl might read this and think hey.. I dont want to look like everyone else this year, she has good advice.

    Last year I went as the queen of hearts & got all my lady friends to be different Alice in wonderland characters; the cheshire cat, Alice, White rabbit etc. We were all dressed super sexy & got twice as much attention from guys AND girls than the 20 sexy cops at the bar because their was no other group as big as ours with cordinated, orriginal, colourful and all around awesome costumes ;)

    So you see.. the article isn't really about taking away the sexy.. thats not how I see it anyways… Its about maximizing originality, sexy & confidence for maximum attention and eyes gazing your way ;)

  40. natalie rose wasik says:

    how do you make those faces

  41. Adam McColl says:

    Halloween is all about being sexy at the party. You want to attract the hottest guy possible. Plus all chicks like attention anyway. That's why Halloween is my favorite holiday. Girls get to look as sexy as they can in any costume I don't care how overdone it is as long as it is sexy. That's the whole point of Halloween for adults. Its just another reason for the girls to get the hottest dude at the party so they have to dress sexy. End of story.

  42. ashra says:

    this person left no choices hahaah.

    other than latexxx!!!!! turn any of those sexy 'cliches' and get it made out of latex and your bound to look amazingg!!!

    too hot ;)

  43. Rayan Dekey says:

    There is no need to shy away from Halloween parties just because your budget is limited. By being creative, you can get cheap Halloween costumes and make your own decorations.

  44. Kai says:

    hahahaha… oh, those cheap whores in 6 total inches of fabric they paid $50 for. How my friends and I laugh at them… Of course, we also already have boyfriends so we don't need to dress like skanks for one night of alcohol induced coma sex that we'll need a few therapy sessions and a shot of penacillin to forget. Halloween for adults isn't about getting laid, it's about having a good time and hanging out with your friends; just like when you were a kid. When the costume comes off allong with the falsies and two-sizes-too-small body shaper your forced yourself into to make that "I'll do anything to get noticed" costume halfway desireable (even after several shots of Jager), they're gonna realize you're more of a "Trick" than a "treat".

  45. Carrie says:

    A Concrete Vagina! Now there's a costume that fits your criteria… and no horizontal stripes! Sometimes i wonder what people are thinking by dressing half naked when it's cold outside, but i don't question the nudity that Halloween provokes. It's a devilishly sexy holiday, jack ass. Tradition *Stamp* I'll tell ya, Captain America in his blue skin and red speedo was pretty damn sexy last year…standing next to that devil bitch smoking a cigarette. What i boils down to: Maybe just leave fun for those who like to have it and keep posting resentful articles from your lonely sweatpants. Perhaps, go bash Santa. That guy is way to sexy for winter.

  46. Marie says:

    I would have thought a Nazi would be on your list with a picture of Prince Harry to accompany it.

  47. Jayy (: says:

    I Dressed up as The Mad Hatter For the last day of term !

    The only worst thing about this is washing the orange out you're hair !

  48. Hbee says:

    Unless you take the naughty school girl outfit and instead make it a Japanese school girl – then hold a ball and chain. GoGo from Kill Bill. Now that's cool.

  49. Don corleone says:

    this year im going to make a laddy gaga costume that’s gonna scare the shit out of everyone!!!

  50. TJ says:

    I have the devil/angel reversible costume and you would be surprised how many comments i got wearing that costume….is not a BAD costume

  51. MW says:

    The worst ones ever are when moron frat guys dress up as genitalia or tampons or condoms, etc. Yes, you're a giant dick. We didn't need the costume to figure that out.

    Also overdone:

    Pregnant Nun: Oh, NOW I get it! Nuns abstain from sex, so coupling it with the element of pregnancy adds a touch of delicious irony! Or laziness, whichever.

    Political figures: Ha ha, it's Bill Clinton! Ho ho, George Bush! Wow, a guy in a suit. What fun.

    Vintage Hollywood: Charlie Chaplin, Laurel and Hardy, Marilyn Monroe, all these people are dead and anybody who cared about them are all dead too.

    Hippie: Be authentic. Don't buy your costume… pick the clothes out of a dumpster, or rummage through a lost-and-found box, or steal them off someone's clothesline.

    Elvis: It wouldn't be a party without a rubber-wigged Elvis. Or five.

  52. Dan says:

    This article makes you come across as a bitter, uptight party pooper. Relax, let others be who they want, they're not hurting anyone. Your elitist judgment of common costumes puts you in a bad light.

    Yeah, I know it's July, lol. I just came across this article, though.

    Here's to you having a happier 2010,


  53. MW says:

    Um yeah, what HE said… ^

  54. So says:

    You must be a genius detective or at least psychic to deduce the weight and appearance (or, say, concrete) of the author by reading a couple paragraphs on costumes.

    That aside, the article does come across a little stringent. Then again, it's an opinion.

    Extremely overwrought fields like cops and nurses, sure, those can certainly go, but if they're still somehow done well or coordinated (say, a SWAT team instead, or better yet characters from Resident Evil– awesome) it can work out well. Originality's good to have.

    Even being unoriginal, though, a squad of stormtroopers hitting the pub asking for droids is too funny.

    Last point, while horizontal stripes aren't generally eschewed, for some (read: the entire continent of Asia), it can be and is quite often pulled off quite well, though not usually in costume.

  55. So says:

    "While horizontal stripes are generally eschewed," the above should read.

  56. reality says:

    Sorry…. Sexy anything (especially an eskimo)= awesomeness.

  57. taliah says:

    Who cares!! is Halloween if you feel like dressing, sexy or slutty is your personal business and no elses. Let the fat , ugly girls be 'creative'!

  58. […] The Weekly Ten: Halloween Movies You Forgot You Loved October 25, 2010 – 9:00 am By Jenn – Wagner College There are a lot of perks to experiencing Halloween as a college student, that’s a given. But remember Halloween as a little kid? When you looked forward to more than the drinking games and the slutty sexy costumes? […]

  59. TheChet says:

    Whoremione Granger? That sounds like a fantastically sexy halloween costume. You need to update this post for this year and include any pirates of the carribean stuff. I'm so over that.

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  61. Sandra says:

    I love the devils costume, I will buy something like this for the next carneval in Holland :-)

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